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I'm Gonna Make It After All - Probably

It looks like some hope is entering into what I was dubbing a seriously bummed-out existence. My aunt might come home tomorrow, my work pile has been demoted to managable, and this Saturday I walked away with a 2005 graphite blue Chevy Cobalt. PLUS, my New York CitiCash is officially spendable this week, so I may have a mall detour on the way to Chicago for class. However, I do have to get past the introduction of Life of Pi in order to finish the book by Thursday, so there is still an element of drama.

And, as always when I can't think of anything profound to write about, here is a list of

Things Frema Wants RIGHT NOW

- A pedicure. Somehow she ripped the nail on her big left toe and doesn't know what to do!
- A big heaping bowl of spinach dip, no matter what gaseous effects may surface two hours later. (Sorry, Luke.)
- A pint of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey.
- A dirty-dishes-free apartment.
- A day off that doesn't require calling her insurance company.
- A volunteer to do her laundry.
- A magically healed knee, which was mysteriously injured days before the accident.
- Her master's degree.
- A better idea for a blog entry.

Luke is feeling restless, too, and we've talked about taking a weekend trip. I think we both need to get away from the hum-drum of everyday life. We also need new jobs. At this point, either one will do.

Comings and Goings

Last Saturday, I held Luke's niece for the first time. Last night, I learned that my aunt is in the hospital. She has brain cancer, so she's in and out a lot, but now, according to my uncle, it's bad. How amazing the world is, breathing new life one moment and exhaling it the next. Although not in that order.

[Edited 12/11/06 to add: Baby picture removed.]

A New Beginning

Well, it's official. GMAC is "totalling" my car. Even though that's what I was hoping for - the idea of driving my Cavalier again after all of this was pretty scary - it still brought tears. I didn't even get to say good-bye. I really thought I'd get it back. And the only pictures I have of my first new baby are the ones I took to document the damage. But oh, well. You live, you learn. Good news: the pay-out amount should completely cover what's left of my car loan, so I can really start from scratch with something new. I'm allowing myself to get excited and surf the Net to see what I like. (I could always get another Cavalier, but what fun would that be?) My goal is to have something by the end of next week. I'm currently driving my office's car, and while my boss's generosity has been wonderful, it feels weird to be driving something that's not mine. Plus, the disc player is broken and I want to listen to my new Kelly Clarkson CD.

Some choices I'm debating:

Pontiac Vibe - Roomier than my Cavalier and not much more expensive
Chevy Malibu - Chevy's been good to me, and there's a dealer right in town
Volkswagen Jetta - I've always thought these were cool, but they could be out of my price range

I want something that's safe, gets good gas mileage, and is comfortable for my passengers. Any ideas?

I Can Predict the Future

...because, apparently, I truly am The Accidental Student. See?

It happened on Wednesday morning, on my way back from Chicago, where I'd gone to a FUNERAL SERVICE the day before. (Of course, right?) It was my fault: I was driving too fast on slippery I-65 and drove straight into the side of a semi. Thankfully, nobody was seriously hurt - only minor aches and pains on my end - but man, that was one of the scariest moments of my life. I remember the car spinning and me holding onto the wheel and hearing the windshield crack and the air bags go off and there was nothing I could do. Thank God for seatbelts. Thank God I was alone. Thank God it was a semi and not an SUV full of babies. It makes me sick to think about the damage I could have done.

But I can't beat myself up anymore. Now, it's time for the aftermath. Insurance claims, doctor bills, scraping up money to pay a $500 deductible on a policy now certain to skyrocket, worrying that the first major purchase of my life isn't fixable - my head is still spinning. Still, I know I'm lucky.

Since then, though, there's been better news. Luke's brother and sister-in-law had their baby on Thursday at 10:39 a.m., weighing in at a super-healthy 10 pounds and 8 oz(!). The two of us and his parents made a trip to Indianapolis yesterday to see how the new family's faring. I was a little uncertain that I belonged there in that room - after all, Luke and I are not married, and Patty was really worn out from her Caesarean, so they weren't encouraging too many visitors. But it was great, really great; I even got to hold her! She was so beautiful, so small. I cried. I couldn't help it. It made me want a baby more than ever. But after hearing about what Matt and Patty went through, it also made me think that I can wait a LITTLE longer to be a mom. In the meantime, I'll focus on being the best pseudo-aunt I can.

There are lovely pictures of Luke's niece ready for the posting, but I refuse to add her image to an entry already blemished with car troubles.

The Accidental Student

Remember this?

"Oh, what a diligent student I will be this quarter. Straight A's to prevail all year round! I will walk across stage in June with magna cum laude status and seize the world!"

Yeah. Instead, I'm placing my hopes into this trusty equation

(easy class + busy work schedule) x just wanting to be done = revising undergraduate assignments to fulfill graduate needs

I've only done it once or twice, but it's like I've been kicked in the gut five inches from the finish line. If all I have to do is stretch out my hand to win the race, why go through the pain of dragging my entired battered carcass? Or something like that.

It's been an interesting couple of weeks. Lots of TV. Some job searching and even applying. (Brookfield Zoo, here I come?) Lots of interest in my financial well-being. According to the Primerica rep that visited me on Monday, it doesn't look so good right now. No renter's insurance (does anybody really have this?); a savings balance of $20; no IRA; $82,000 combined debt for my post-secondary education; and a near unhealthy obsession with New York and Company. (OK, he didn't say that last part, but who are we kidding?) It's all good, though - admitting you have a problem is the first step. He's coming back in two weeks to give me a complete Financial Needs Analysis and a plan to get me out of the red. Very good stuff.

I also have a visitor. My sister Ryan's been with me since Sunday; by Monday, she had locked herself in my bathroom for three hours. "Help me! Help me!" she screamed, using my plunger to disengage the doorknob, and eventually catching the attention of my next-door neighbor. The poor guy thinks he's coming home for some R and R, only to find a woman trapped in the next john, for God knows what reason.

"Miss?" he said.

To his credit, he did attempt to save her; finding the front door locked, he snuck around the back and "broke into" my bedroom, which apparently wasn't. He then proceeded to throw himself against the door in an attempt to break it down with his manly track-and-field muscles. Sadly, it did not work, but he was able to contact our landlord, whose wife set Ryan free. Happy 19th birthday!

I have a lot of energy for working out my finances, looking for new career opportunities, and catching up on two weeks of soap operas. Thus, I do not have much left for school and work. Or, by the looks of the last two entries I posted, blogging.