Back in January, when I had decided to begin looking for another job, I created a new Yahoo! account specifically for tracking resume responses. I mean, receiving correspondence about future employment at an address designed for current employer correspondence is not very classy. Neither is any address including the suffix "-baby." (For proof, refer to lower righthand section of sidebar.)
So. A new address. For new jobs. But I only got a whopping two e-mails the whole time, and one was from some crazy clown site that wanted me to buy a rubber nose and big fat Ronald McDonald shoes. (Well, not, really, but it was pretty pointless.) So I went from checking it once a day to once every two days to once a week to never. Until today. And now? I kind of want to kill myself, because on May 19th, I received an e-mail from this place about participating in a phone-screening interview for an associate editor/writer position. And another one on May 20. And a final follow-up on May 24th. These weren't automated messages, either. They said things like, "Good morning, Frema!" and gave an actual person's name and phone number and blood type and everything.
What did I do on May 19? Watch Melrose Place and dribble spinach dip on myself. The 20th? Post this entry about shopping for jelly beans. The 24th? Possibly wash sheets. Whatever it was, it sure wasn't tracking resume responses.
My body is juggling three different reactions. My brain is saying that I secured a job in April with a great boss and great pay and great room for growth in a great city that I now have the time to explore so FORGET ABOUT IT. My stomache is forming a softball-sized rock and telling me to make a run for the bathroom, and my lips are already practicing shouting the phrase, "I could have had a job in Chicago!" once they reach the safe confines of my rental. (Will I ever get my car back?!) Even if it's not 100 percent true.
Would Luke have had an easier time looking for jobs if I'd moved to Chicago? Would I have been happier being closer to my friends? Would I have been a bigger help to my sister, who is getting married in just two months? Would I have been a better pillar when Unspeakable Family Drama ensued?
Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. There's no way to know.
I'm still thinking about all of this. Will have insightful words of wisdom tomorrow.
Right now, I'd wear a rubber nose and clown shoes for a new job.
Posted by: Luke | June 28, 2005 at 11:36 PM