Before Luke moved in with me last year, I knew I had to make some changes to my then-current state of living. Using both sides of the closet to divide my clothes by season and function. Filling all four shelving units with my boxes and boxes of shoes. Not only did I donate about thirty percent of my wardrobe to needy family members and the folks at Goodwill, I also bid a sad farewell to almost half of my shoe collection. Back then, I thought I had a lot of shoes. Today, while photographing the "leftovers" for this exercise (yeah, I'm a little late, wanna make somethin' of it?), I realized something.
I still have a lot of shoes.
This entry is labeled Part the First because Blogger crapped out on me after uploading pair seven. There are still at least ten more, including a pair of "f- me" heels (trademark Number Twelve from this post) that were discovered to be missing just minutes ago thanks to this here project. They're in a Nine West box. You know, in case there happens to be an extra pair of Nine West shoes lying around your house.
And on with the show.
These shoes were purchased last summer and are one of four obtained at Nine West before I started work at the lab, in an attempt to adorn my feet with pretties that radiated Adulthood. The shoes were on sale for half off, so each pair cost me thirty-five bucks. Honestly, it's like I was ripping off the damn store. My mother thinks they're ugly. She calls them my Wicked Witch of the West shoes, which I wore straight through to October. This year? Not once.
Pair number two from previously mentioned shopping spree (number three is sitting on my home desktop waiting patiently for Blogger to pop a Midol and get back on the wagon; number four is somewhere with the missing Nine West box). These shoes look fantabulous with skirts and capris, but the heels of my feet have a bad habit of falling out of them when I walk, so I end up taking near-spills onto the ground. They're worth it, though, because they make my size-nine monsters look like wee, dainty things.
I first saw these in Bakers last July for forty-five bucks and cried my heart out, because I couldn't justify spending the money on a pair of shoes I had no outfit for. In September they were on the clearance rack for twenty dollars. I took it as a sign from God, hauled @$$ to the register, and didn't look back. They look great with jeans, when I feel sassy enough to wear them. Having a hard time pairing them with skirts, though. What material would appropriately balance out the darlingness of the darling little broach?
One of several finds from Payless that I'm surprised I've held on to this long. These guys are probably four years old and fit like a glove. Another great Jean Shoe. I've also matched them with a brown skirt and tights. I get compliments on these babies every time I wear them. I can't figure out why, because while I like them very much, I'll be the first to admit they look horribly out of style. Rounded toe! Chunky heel! Questionable stitching! But they're mine, all mine, and I will have them nailed to my chest when I'm eighty-nine years old and lying dead in my coffin and you can't stop me.
Well, maybe you could. Cuz I'll be dead.
Another pair that makes me scratch my head in wonder. When I first saw them in Bakers (aka The Poor Man's Nordstrom), I was looking for a casual brown shoe with no heel that I could comfortably wear with khakis and a collar shirt or sporty tee. The tops of these shoes fit my description perfectly. But WTF is with that sole, man? Are they heels or not? And all that rubber padding? The hell? Apparently, these issues weren't dealbreakers, though, as I bought them anyway, and I love them just as much as my other footy children, so there.
Flip-flops from JC Penney that I bought because I had a twenty-one dollar credit and I'm not the type of person who can walk into a store with free money and not spend at least a little bit of it. That was last year. I think there's still eight dollars left. I'm not a big fan of JC Penney, and you're probably not a fan of seeing my sweat stains, so let's keep going.
We're all big fans of Payless, though, aren't we? How could it be othewise when you know you have a fifty/fifty chance of unearthing the find of the century for a measly ten bucks? These things--they barely qualify as shoes, I know--these things went for nine dollars on clearance, and like a bad car accident, I could not turn away. Don't they just scream "Beachy Sherpa Gap"? No? Then maybe "Toss Me In The Garbage Already Because Your Big Toes Are Gonna Make Love To The Pavement Any Freakin' Day Now." Definitely that one.
I'm almost embarassed to say I wear these to work at least once a week, with khakis. I should be totally embarassed, now that you've seen I have more appropriate attire in my possession. Last year was all about making a good impression; I donned eighty-dollar slacks from The Limited and made my face up with foundation, blush, and eye shadow every single day. This year I'll wear the aforementioned khakis three days in a row and barely remember to take the shine off my nose. What do you think? Progression because I'm brave enough to brake the ties that bind me to the corporate world or regression because I don't value my feet enough to wear shoes with an actual shape? You be the judge.
Stay tuned, as Part the Second includes boots, a sandal that might be the only respectable product I've ever seen sold from a Fashion Bug, and approximately one zillion variations of The Little Black Heel. You're about to wet yourself with anticipation, I can tell.