We're sending help immediately, Mrs. Fletcher
Yesterday, as I was packing up my journals and trying to get over the embarrassment of exposing my teenage desperation to the World Wide Web, I noticed the stack of faded notebook pages sitting on top of my filing box, pages that had immediately come to mind the first time I heard about the Cringe Book. I kept my journal entries "private" as promised, but I did submit several poems that highlight my ability to talk about a variety of important subjects.
The importance of optimism (and my inability to accept Randy Wooten as the boy of my dreams):
The proper way to implement religious metaphors:
And a very merry day to you, too!
How to work popular advertising into deep and meaningful verse:
The dark side of important family/social-justice issues (also, examples of words to rely on when you can't think of anything that rhymes with "sick"):
And lastly, proof that it IS possible to listen to Jewel's Pieces of You album one time too many:
All of these were submitted to the book for Sarah Brown's consideration. I'm confident they'll inspire a happier kind of cringing than my journals did, cringing that won't thrust a desire to slit one's wrists upon the masses.
OK, I know I'm probably not supposed to giggle in the middle of the social commentary poem about child abuse due to despiration, but the whole "Mommy wishes her vagina never touched Daddy's dick" was so cringe-worthy that I giggled a bit! It's great that you can share these though - it takes a lot of courage to do that - I STILL won't let people read what I wrote back in Jr. High and HS - hell, I can barely read it without wanting to throw it away because it's so pathetic! If we only knew then what we know now! (we'd probably still written it anyway)
Posted by: Jessi | February 15, 2007 at 09:37 AM
Oh, these are FANTASTIC. I love them. Every one.
Posted by: Dawn | February 15, 2007 at 10:52 AM
I'm with Jessi...that bit about the vagina was so AWESOME. Dude, what in the hell was going through your mind to make you write such poetry?
I found some of my younger sisters old poems. They all seemed to end with "and then they died". Not sure what she was going through either, but it must have been intense.
Posted by: Isabel | February 15, 2007 at 12:04 PM
Ohh shnap! Poor baby's heart popped!
Posted by: Molly | February 15, 2007 at 01:21 PM
My reaction to "Mommy's vagina touching Daddy's dick" was GASP! I couldn't believer I just read that. You always amaze me...young Frema. (And still do.)
TLF..TLF!
Are you left handed?
Posted by: Silly Hily | February 15, 2007 at 02:44 PM
Holy Crap! I scrolled down to read about social justice and Daddy's dick is what literally JUMPED off the page. LMAO!!!!
Posted by: Rachel | February 15, 2007 at 04:17 PM
Damn dick poem is stealing the show!
Posted by: Frema | February 15, 2007 at 04:29 PM
The dick poem is indeed a top contender - hilarious!
On the night before I left for my first year of college, I stayed-up late and sneaked all of my old diaries into the trash can in the alley. They were apparently so cringe-inducing that I couldn't risk my mom finding them while I was gone.
I remember that I had that exact same handwriting, though. Did we all do that? That huge, slanted, bubble stuff? That alone is pretty cringe-y!
Posted by: kelley | February 15, 2007 at 04:53 PM
Heart... popped? Wow! Sorry to keep harping on the dick poem, but damn Frema!
I'm intrigued by your last name- having a unique one myself (well, married- my new last name is about as white-bread as it comes!) I always appreciate an interesting last name. Or is that your nom de plume? Erm, ballpoint?
Posted by: Art Nerd | February 15, 2007 at 09:18 PM
I was totally in that mood in '95 and '96, except for the baby shaking. I had tons of poems, all about unrequited love and a broken heart. Sadly/gladly, I got rid of them all when the last of my stuff came from my parents' house.
Oh, and along with them? Pages of Mrs. Elizabeth Olsen, etc.
Posted by: Elizabeth | February 15, 2007 at 09:26 PM
The records of your thoughts are so complete over time. What a writer you are! I bought four blank books when I left IU in 1966. I was going to record my insights and great thoughts. However, only a few pages of the first book were written into. One of the books becaome a lab record grade book that I still use for qualitative analysis in the spring term.
Posted by: daddy d | February 16, 2007 at 08:00 AM
Frema, you rock! I'm such a dork that I couldn't even say the words "vagina" or "dick" until college, not even in my journals. Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: Jackie | February 16, 2007 at 09:48 AM
The second to last poem makes me think of the immortal 2Pac Shakur's song "Brenda's Got a Baby." Except I think yours might be a little more negative. :P
Posted by: David McNelis | February 16, 2007 at 12:08 PM
You are so awesome for sharing these. I think I had that handwriting too! Like Jessi, I can't bear to read anything I wrote during that era. Too, too cringeworthy. You are brave, girl.
Posted by: Fraulein N | February 20, 2007 at 04:52 PM
The hell piece sounds like one of my poems. I used to love using religious allusions in my writing and I thought they were so subtle, but who was I kidding. This is not to say you were trying to be subtle with that...it just made me laugh because I've been there.
Posted by: Lindsey | February 27, 2007 at 08:11 PM
Totally cringeworthy. I'm blushing.
Posted by: Stacey | March 06, 2007 at 09:38 AM