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April 25, 2007


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Hey have you tried saltine crackers?

heh heh heh

I love hearing about your decreased fluid intake. And whether you enjoy pregnancy to high heaven or count down until it's over, I can't wait to smother your sweet little baby in kisses. (After I wash my hands of course. Because you know you'll have to wash your hands around your newborn, right? And eat saltine crackers while pregnant?)

That's all.

I really appreciate women (bloggers) like you and Amalah, who welcome motherhood with open arms but also acknowledge that being pregnant is HARD, yo. I hate when people sugarcoat an experience; I'd much rather know what I'm getting myself into, should I ever go down that road.

Also, I too have struggled with those unsightly gaps button-down shirts can make around your boobs. What's up with that?

Ummm...Hi! Man, do I feel like an ass. I'm one of "those" that you mentioned above.
Pregnancy DOES suck. It ain't all rainbows and butterflies and frilly shit. IT SUCKS DONKEY BALLS.
And I'm sorry if I led you to believe otherwise.
And I'm sorry for offering up my assvice on the subject.
And I promise to (try to) keep my mouth shut unless you ask.
Even at BlogHer.
Big Hugs.

Don't worry sister, I don't expect rays of sunshine flowing through the telephone. I can't relate to what you're going through because I've never been pregnant, so don't worry about getting too much assvice from me. ;) Just good old love and care...and the occasional bad joke.

I already told you my friend ate saltines and drank green apple tea...but what do I know. I love you and it was groovy talking to you tonight. Hasta la bye, bye pretty pregnant woman! ;)

Assvice is the worst, and I've found through my second-hand experience of my sister's pregnancy that nothing makes women more assvicey (is that even a word?) than motherhood/breeding. I do not know how I will handle becoming public domain when I finally get to spawn, but I have a feeling I will. not. enjoy. it.

Onward, brave preggo soldier! Beat a path for the rest of us. And if you get snippy you could always (if you want, or not, if you don't want, you know take this with a grain... yada yada yada) blame the hormones

I had my first dream about a blogger last night...and guess who the blogger was? You! Maybe I'll do a post about it. Until then, stop haunting me in my sleep!

I love you and your blog because it's honest and I like that. You rock!!!

Have you tried saltines?

Glad you're back! I was getting worried for a bit, but I totally understand. I could barely pull myself off the couch to get dressed and go to work in the early weeks of this one. I'm at 17 weeks now and FINALLY starting to feel better!
Pregnancy is not all fun and games and rubbing your tummy while you gaze lovingly at it. It's nausea, constipation, fat ankles, clothes that don't fit... but you are right: there's a precious little baby at the end of all this. I'm looking forward to reading all about yours!

I'll add my two complaints about tops - "puff" sleeves and short sleeves with bands or cuffs that tighten in and cut off the circulation below that point. I really don't want to draw attention to my (in my opinion, really) freakishly large upper arms, thank you very much. Not everyone has arms like toothpicks.

Feel free to tell it like it is...the good, the mundane, and the really bad. But only when you have the energy, etc. The 30 bazillion checks for updates are just an indication that your writing is great, regardless of the topic.

How's the baby reacting to spinach dip? :)
Thankfully, I have no assvice stories, except the constant barrage of " but the etiquette book says" comments from my mother about the impending nuptials!

I will be the first person to scream from the rooftops that pregnancy SUCKS! I hate it, I always have. Does that mean I wasn't looking forward to my babies? Nope. It just means that right now I'm trying to win a Nobel Price by figuring out how to make two more babies appear in my house without them coming out of me. Any suggestions? I'm not making much progress, so any help would be appreciated!

Wait, you get to make out with Justin Timberlake? Awesome!
(Also, seriously? Love Molly!)

Don't worry it's all gonna get better.


Molly, your mom tries saltines.

Yes, pregnancy sucks donkey balls (as Liz put it). Huge ass donkey balls.

I e-mailed you, at your request.

I'm glad you're getting a tough skin early on in this pregnancy. You're gonna need it.

(Wait, was that assvice?)

I dreamed I was 9 months pregnant last night, and, what do you know, everybody in my dream had their two cents to put in.

Here's mine. This weekend's episode of Real Simple addressed the between-buttons-shirt-gap issue. They suggested, in increasing degrees of permanence: double-sided tape, adhesive Velcro, and Velcro you sew in.

I don't have any assvice about being pregnant. If I were having any sex, I'd try NOT to get pregnant, but that's just me. :)

OF course, I am told that my "clock is ticking!" Woohoo!!!

Dammit, the saltines HELPED ME!

Frema, I love hearing you tell it like it is. In the course of one hour, I'm moved to tears by the precious new baby kicking my ribs, then raging in misery about my "cankles"...don't know what those are? Just wait. Mwa-hahaa.

I maybe should comment on this post. What do I know about that hurting condition. I just know that loving the baby is what I will do and am doing right now.

I was never the jolly, happy pregnant lady, and I felt guilty about it. I wanted to strangle every person that mentioned how "wonderful" pregnancy is. Now though, I know it's totally worth it, but don't think I didn't doubt that while I was pregnant. Keep your chin up. It can be tough.

The worst thing anyone said to me during my pregnancy.

Thoughtless Beyotch : "OHHHH, You're pregnant! How far along are you?

Me: "About five months."

Thoughtless Beyotch: "Really? That's how far along my neighbor was when she miscarried."

Me: Open-mouthed silence.

Michelle.. the thoughtless beyotch is really stupid.. especially because you don't miscarry at 5 months... stupid heifer!
Chin up Frema. HUGS

Just enjoy the little creature while still in the womb, cause once they are out there is no putting them back in....they turn into scary toddlers. AHHHHHH!!!! There that is my assvise. Ginger lollipops work pretty well for the tum tum.

yeah, pregnancy is awful. I complained my whole first one. When this one came around I told myself I was going to embrace it better. Fugggg that, I'm still puking and farty and what not and pregnancy still sucks!

As for assvice, I didn't drink a single drop of caffiene my first pregnancy,my son is now hyper and i was told it was because once i had a cup of regular tea!!!

BUT THE WORST, after losing 18 lbs in my first pregnancy, at the nurse practitioners advice I had some cheesecake to gain weight and my doctor had the nerve to tell me, a nine month pregnant woman "REMEMBER, ONCE ON THE LIPS, FOREVER ON THE HIPS!"

No assvice - I think I blocked it all from my memory.

There is nothing I liked about pregnancy. Nothing. It all sucked major ass. I won't sugar coat it - labor sucked too. But oh, the reward. At least until they start talking....

Ginger Snaps. I swear by them for nausea.

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  • "The Lord is my helper,
    I will not be afraid.
    What can anyone do to me?"
    - Hebrews 13:6

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