I have a confession to make.

I think I thought I could have this baby and not gain weight.

Really! Despite the weight loss I experienced as a result of "morning" sickness in the early part of my pregnancy, my belly continued to grow, Freka continued to thrive, and my doctors continued to tell me not to worry. So I didn't. In fact, I relished it. I was a good ten pounds heavier than I should've been at the time we conceived and in no hurry to put on any more than absolutely necessary.

WEIGHT ON 2/28: 135.6
CURRENT WEIGHT: 136.4
TOTAL PREGNANCY POUNDS GAINED: 0.8

Holy automated scale, Batman! A positive number! I'm totally blaming the two bowls of Cocoa Puffs I had before I stepped on. The Snickers cheesecake I had after dinner last night may also have been a contributing factor.

Seriously, though, it was a little jarring. At my last appointment, my doctor said it's not always necessary to gain the standard twenty-five to thirty-five pounds, so long as I was subscribing to healthy eating habits. Which I was all for. Who doesn't want to be a tiny pregnant woman? But now reality has set in. I cannot gestate for nine months and stay within that coveted one-hundred-and-twenty-pound range I was striving for pre-conception. And that's OK.

Because I have new maternity clothes.

Before our trip to the Cheesecake Factory, Luke and I stopped by a couple of shoe stores and Mimi Maternity to find some things to wear for BlogHer next week. The cute, comfy ballet flats I bought in May are still cute and still flat, but they're not as comfy as I originally thought. Oddly enough, the bottoms of my feet are fine; it's the tops that suffer from the criss-cross of the tight elastic straps. As for clothing, well, I'm not down with the idea of rotating the same four tops for the next four months.

Every time I walk into Mimi, I am hopeful. Their items are classy and sophisticated and totally support the image of the "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful and with child" woman I always hoped to convey. However, they also charge eighty dollars for a damn top, so the most I've walked away with is their underwwear, which I don't even like anymore because they constantly fall off my belly. The high-cut Motherhood ones are much more my style, even if their sexuality is equal to that of a ripe peach.

Anyway, I don't know why I thought last night's visit would be different, because it wasn't, so Luke and I went to dinner and I ate my cheesecake, secretly hoping the sales pieces I found on Gap Maternity's Web site could arrive before I left next Thursday. Afterwards we hit a Target close to the mall so Luke could look for a new wallet, and I actually found some tee shirts that weren't unravelling at the seams or carting an outrageous price tag. So I bought four and wore one to work this morning, and oh my God, did I get the comments about how pregnant I looked!

But for the very first time, I didn't care. For the very first time, I felt comfortable in my new skin, wearing my new clothes and donning freshly trimmed hair. I wanted to get on with my bad mamma-jamma self.

You have no idea how scared I was that someone would walk in and witness me taking a picture of my own reflection in the company john. I suppose I could've blamed it on pregnancy brain.

Comments

[Isabel]

As always, you look great. (I love your hair. LOVE IT. The little clip on top is too cute!)

I have to say that I like the tighter shirts like this one. I say you have this cute belly...you might as well show it off.

[Whitney]

Dang! Isabel stole my comment about how cute your hair is with the clip and whatnot! Ah well..

However, I think you look absolutely adorable pregnant! Like I'm jealous I was never this close to being that cute while pregnant...

[Silly Hily]

Oh my gosh, you said "BlogHer" and "next weekend" in the same sentence. I can't believe it's already here. I talk like I'm going. I'm not, but Liz is and she will be reporting back to me and I can't wait!
Now, onto the really important stuff. Eeeeee!! You look so absolutely adorable. I could just eat you up...I mean, rub your belly...I mean, admire your cute belly over the internet (a safe distance away to keep from being tempted to give it a rub).

[Audrey]

You really are an adorable pregnant woman. The hair, the clip, the shirt, the belly -- it's all adorable!

I would have been terrified to get caught snapping that photo in the company john, too. Maybe so scared that I wouldn't have even risked it. You've got guts, Frema! (And they're adorable!)

[Molly]

Hooray for you!! As I said, you do pregnancy SO WELL. You look awesome.

I should probably think about an outfit or two for BlogHer (hell, I should probably think about BlogHer) lest I show up in a pair of workout capris and a tshirt.

[Rachel]

You look so cute!!! I love the baby bump! Also, I only gained 16 pounds with Kaylie and she weighed in at 7 pounds 7 ounces. Alyssa? Yeah, whole other story.

[Lindsey]

You look so cute--the t-shirt is adorable, your hair is perfect and the baby bump...well, even more perfect than the hair!

[Liza]

You look adorable!

And 2 words: Maternity Consignment. There must be some in your area, or go when you're in Chicago. They rock. Cheap maternity clothes = good.

[Steph]

For clothes, you might also try Old Navy Maternity. Their stuff is cute and cheap.

If you are planning on breastfeeding, you will drop the pregnancy weight pretty quick. I have two friends that just had babies and they had the early pregnancy weight loss, then gained during the 2nd and 3rd trimester...they are each down about 25 - 30 lbs. from their prepregnancy weight. Also, if you are considering a breastpump, I recommend the Ameda pump, it is not sold in stores. Email me and I can give you details. Take care!

[mjd]

Besides you do look really cute in your new t-shirt. The pregnancy ploy for excuses does work wonders. I remember being rescued from a tipping a big coffee pot in the teacher's lounge by a number of male teachers. Little did they know that my non-pregnant self is a clumsy oaf as well. Either way, I relished the help.

[Alison]

Congrats on your newly showing self! I too barely gained weight for the longest time and everyone commented how I didn't look pregnant till the very end. But at the end I felt SOOOOO pregnant, so do try to enjoy this phase now if you can!

[takin chances]

You look totally freaking adorable and I'm completely scared of pregnancy and children in all ways! And I'm anxiously awaiting a full report on Blogher from Liz as well.

[Professor Art Nerd]

Dear Blogher- could you please come to Philadelphia, so I can meet some bloggy friends, and not have to a) fly or b) stay in a hotel. NYC would be a good second choice. Thanks! Art Nerd

Ahem. The cuteness of that belly? Outta control. Love it. LOVE. how can you resist splurging on shirts to dress the bellay?

[Brittany]

Awwww! You look so cute! And you have really skinny arms! I'm so jealous!

[Redneck Diva]

I have always admired (read: been jealous of) women who only get pregnant in their belly. I am one of those poor, unfortunate souls who even looks pregnant in her toes and eyelashes. I have pictures of me looking like I visited Omar the Tentmaker for my clothes. But you...you are adorably cute!

Isn't pregnancy fun once you stop puking?

[VirginiaGal]

I'm still cackling about the sexuality of a ripe peach. Cue image of peach in granny panties...loard have mercy.

I covet your hair. I'm over the slightly wavy, very fine limpness of mine. It's like a bad perm that won't ever grow out.

[glickers]

Cute in t-shirt! Weight gain starting halfway through pregnancy already puts you waaay ahead of the game - I had 5 extra pounds practically the day after I peed on the sticks (it took a few for me to believe it too). Only question...um - don't you have a camera and a mirror and that same t-shirt at home??!!

[Diane]

Oh MY Frema !!!!!! I love seeing that big smile behind that lil' camera. So excited and proud of you two crazy kids. And the BELLY love LOVE pregnent bellies. Especially this one.

[Stacey]

Your belly is adorable, and you can blame EVERYTHING on pregnancy brain for at least the next 12 months. Enjoy!!!

[Samantha]

I can't believe that you took that picture while you were at work!! I love you it. Anyway, your new clothes are very nice and you rock them sista!