What're you lookin' at? | Ramblings from a self-proclaimed yada yada yada...ist

Frema and the Three Winter Coats

Once upon a time, in a Midwestern state far, far away, there lived a 34-weeks-pregnant woman (let's call her Frema) who was scheduled to deliver her first child in the chilly month of December. Over the course of the last several months, Frema had purchased a gazillion dollars worth of maternity clothes to accommodate her rapidly expanding waistline, and despite temperatures being low enough that she had to scrape layers of frost from her car before heading to work, she hesitated buying an item whose estimated period of use would be limited to six weeks or fewer.

In an effort to save a few pennies, Frema rummaged through her closet and unearthed the charcoal pea coat she'd worn the last three winters. But, not surprisingly, the coat was too small.

Not one to give up, Frema reflected back on all "the books" that recommended raiding a spouse's wardrobe for make-do attire. But Frema bets most pregnant women of petite stature aren't married to men with six-foot-four-inch builds. His coat was too big.

Finally, because Frema's husband was more concerned with her causing an accident behind the wheel due to wearing all that excess material and/or possibly catching cold than avoiding another charge on their Visa, he suggested visiting Old Navy's maternity section and perusing winter wear more fitting--quite literally--for the gestating variety. "We know we want more children, so a coat would be a worthwhile investment for future pregnancies. Plus, you have three sisters you can one day share your loot with," he said. "It won't go to waste."

Who is Frema to argue with such wisdom?

So off to Old Navy they went, and lo and behold, the beautiful, light gray ensemble fit just right.

So delighted was Frema with the newest addition to her wardrobe that she asked her husband to take an updated belly shot, even though three hours of shopping left her looking and feeling like ass on toast. "After all, the Internet, it likes the belly shots," she said.

And everyone lived happily ever after.

I would've packed my hospital bag last night but decided to watch 1408 instead

Things are looking up. Mainly because Luke's and my to-do list is coming along splendidly (more on that in a minute), but also because yesterday I finally received my (final) online order from Gap Maternity. This means I was able to come to work this morning donning black pants that don't cut off my circulation and a top that actually covers my entire stomach. I'm half tempted to audition for America's Next Top Model, that's how close to normal I feel.

Not all the items fit as well--a couple of the shirts are just as snug as my Target tees even though I ordered the next size up, and one pair of lounge pants bunches around my ankles--but it's so refreshing to have a wider variety of choices in my closet that I'm going to wear them all and OWN IT when I do.

Just like I'm owning this list.

Project Freka: Prenatal Edition

• Write thank-you cards for shower gifts

Done! I spent almost two hours on Sunday night crafting what I hope are thoughtful messages to all the family and friends who've sent us baby gifts these last few weeks; it would've taken longer had my sister not sent us home with pre-printed mailing labels for all the shower guests. Luke and I liked the idea so much that we whipped up a batch with the return address, so the only writing I had to do was for the actual card. Genius!

• Purchase life insurance

Though we don't actually have policies in place yet, we did decide on an insurance carrier and set up a medical exam for this Saturday, so the only things left to do are sign our applications, get approved, and pay the premiums.

• Create will-like document to secure guardianship and general well-being of Frema-Useless Clutter offspring

This isn't done yet, but we've decided on a will kit, a kit that also includes other Important Documents for things like revocable trusts and durable power of attorney. Easily available online for the low, low price of $13.50! Suze Orman, have I told you lately that I love you?

• Start Roth IRA for Luke (because if we don't now, we never will)
• Complete application for private student loan consolidation (who wouldn't mind saving thirty bucks a month? Not me, that's for damn sure!)
• Wipe down bedroom blinds (ours, baby's)
• Clean car (wash exterior, disinfect/vaccuum interior)
• Fill out engagement book (because really, enough with the procrastinating already)
• Order wedding pictures from photographer (for reasoning, see above)
• Print recent family photos and sort them into albums, seeing as eight weeks from now I'll be mostly preoccupied with somebody else's eating, sleeping, and pooping habits
• Renew domain registration and TypePad account

I've stopped deleting the reminder e-mails. Does that count as progress?

• Burn TLF soundtrack for Audrey out of gratitude for her mad summarizing skillz (I totally intended to create a kick-ass play list for the sequel, but...well...I didn't)
• Organize baby's room/assemble baby gear

Last week Luke assembled the bassinet and changing table, and I had a grand ole time on Saturday organizing all that glorious shelf and drawer space. Later that night, after spending a combined six hours at Babies R Us and Target stocking up on the (admittedly few yet still insanely important to us) baby essentials we didn't get at our shower, we camped out in Freka's room to cut off the tags on all her clothes and tear through package after package of onesies and sleepers to prepare them for the wash. Yes, I know that was premature, and yes, I'm aware she could still be a he, and no, I don't plan on dressing our son in outfits decorated with pink flowers and hearts, but what can I say? Luke and I plan to have more children, so we can always set aside what doesn't work for baby number one. Or we can pass them off to one of the gazillion pregnant women I currently know. Either way, my nesting urge will be sated, and at this point, that's all that matters.

• Research nursing bras/camis

You guys were right--Target's got 'em both. Enough said.

• Prepare and freeze several meals for easy reheating during baby's first few weeks
• Explore cheap birth announcement ideas

Sets of a hundred are only forty bucks through Walgreens, so Walgreens it is! In an effort to save on postage, we're going to stick the announcements in our Christmas cards, allowing us to spread holiday cheer and show off our baby in one fell swoop.

• Purchase and wrap Christmas presents
• Find a pediatrician
• Install, inspect car seat
• Pack hospital bags

By this time next week, this list should be even shorter, as I plan to launder any and all baby items and put them in their proper places, pack hospital bags, complete my Sallie Mae consolidation application, and drop Audrey's TLF soundtrack in the mail, at the very least, so help me, God. I will also make it my mission in life to compare the list of area pediatricians provided my ob/gyn against our insurance directory so we can fit in a few consults before the month is out.

I feel much better.

Forget the epidural; why doesn't anybody warn you about the IV?

It's been a long few days.

Those of you who follow my Parents blog already know about last Thursday's ER scare; those of you who don't? Well, you really should follow my Parents blog.

Just kidding. (Except not really.)

Here's the story: Almost two weeks ago, I showed signs of my third pregnancy-related yeast infection. I began treatment and took my last dose this past Wednesday; the following morning, I awoke to mild irritation in my vaginal area. Initially attributing it to an ill-timed poke with the Monistat applicator, I drove to Rensselaer as usual for class because my friend Jackie--fellow BlogHer attendee and seasoned PR executive--was scheduled to give a presentation about her experience with blogs in the marketing world. I didn't want to waste her time or cheat my students, and anyway, I figured the discomfort would fade away as the day wore on.

Only it didn't. Two hours before class, I was crying to Luke about the pain, my God, THE PAIN, in my special place and now my stomach, too, wondering how the hell I was going to make it from six to eight-thirty without running to the bathroom, pulling my pants down, and trying my damndest to relieve myself, as by that time, my symptoms were comparable to the worst urinary tract infection imaginable.

As it turns out, I didn't make it. Hell, if you ask my students, I barely made it the first thirty minutes. Five minutes before class began, I called Luke to tell him I needed to get to the hospital. I knew I couldn't drive back to Indy in my condition, so the plan was for him and his brother to meet me in Purdue country, enabling my husband to take my spot behind the wheel without leaving behind a second car. I figured Jackie could make her presentation and I could end class shortly after to get started on the forty-five-minute trip to Lafayette.

Educating young minds without sacrificing my need for immediate medical attention. Everybody wins!

Jackie eventually transported me to the local ER.*

I didn't know what to feel. On one hand, Freka's activity level hadn't changed at all, and I wasn't leaking any fluid, so a phone call to my doctor reassured me I probably wasn't in labor. On the other, I was also experiencing irregular contractions and a physical strain so intense I could barely walk. All I could think about was parking my ass on a toilet and willing it out of my body.

The ER nurses loved hearing that. "Don't push, don't push!" one of them barked when I explained my urge to pee. "We don't want to deliver a baby right now!"

Me, neither, lady.

Thankfully, I wasn't in labor. I was, however, badly dehydrated, and apparently lack of fluid was to blame for the contractions and that horrible pain. I received my very first IV feed, and it hurt like a sonofabitch. A non-stress test confirmed the baby's heart beat was strong, and three and a half hours later, Luke and I left the hospital with the results of my urinalysis and strict instructions for me to get more rest and drink lots of water.

The fun part? A follow-up appointment with my ob/gyn the next day showed that our little Freka is sitting way lower than normal for this stage in the game; also, my cervix has already begun to soften. Even though there's still seven weeks to go until my December 10th due date, it's not totally off-base to think my Christmas baby might be here by Thanksgiving.

At least she's head down.

Things are OK now; I had another "episode" on Saturday night, but I'm thinking the six hours Luke and I spent running through the aisles of Babies R Us and Super Target in a frantic attempt to stock up on the last of our baby essentials had something to do with it. Once again, copious amounts of water saved the day.

...And consider yourself officially caught up on all matters related to my uterus. Don't you feel special?

In other news, my sister's post-wedding wedding shower is set for November 18th, but in light of recent events, there's no way I can in good conscience commit to a trip to Chicago. Ryan was extremely understanding, and she promised to visit with Jason while he's on leave, but still, knowing I have to miss one of the few marital milestones I could've actually participated in for her doesn't have me jumping up and down for joy. (Their elopement, by the way, was rescheduled for this weekend due to outrageously priced air fare, so she still has another few days of living life as a single woman.)

Tune in again on Wednesday to see all the progress I've made on my prenatal to-do list. You'll be amazed, I promise.

* Words can't express how grateful I am for all Jackie did that night--taking over my class, driving me to the hospital, staying by my side until Luke arrived.... I couldn't have managed on my own, and she made it possible that I didn't have to. Jackie, thanks so much for being such a good friend. It means more than you know.

I almost fell out of my chair today.

Literally. I was joining my boss and HR director for a meeting in our fancy schmancy conference room, and as I went to sit down, the chair lurched back and I had to grab the table to keep my skull from kissing the carpet.

Thank goodness I wasn't asking for a raise.

The meeting was just as big a deal, though, because it involved creating a list of "back-ups" to handle my responsibilities when I'm on maternity leave. The last few weeks, I've been swamped with things to do, and at first I thought the best way to handle all the build-up was work work work and deal with the long-term details of my absence closer to my due date. However, as time marches on, I've come to realize that I'd feel a lot more settled if I had those details ironed out now instead of later, because the last thing I want to think about when my water breaks is who's going to finish our winter newsletter.

Work isn't the only place where my to-do list runs a mile long; I'm constantly reminded of household projects I hope to complete before Freka makes her grand debut but have yet to organize into some sort of tangible reference guide.

Until now.

Project Freka: Prenatal Edition

(in no particular order)

• Write thank-you cards for shower gifts
• Purchase life insurance
• Create will-like document to secure guardianship and general well-being of Frema-Useless Clutter offspring
• Start Roth IRA for Luke (because if we don't now, we never will)
• Complete application for private student loan consolidation (who wouldn't mind saving thirty bucks a month? Not me, that's for damn sure!)
• Wipe down bedroom blinds (ours, baby's)
• Clean car (wash exterior, disinfect/vaccuum interior)
• Fill out engagement book (because really, enough with the procrastinating already)
• Order wedding pictures from photographer (for reasoning, see above)
• Print recent family photos and sort them into albums, seeing as eight weeks from now I'll be mostly preoccupied with somebody else's eating, sleeping, and pooping habits
• Renew domain registration and TypePad account
• Burn TLF soundtrack for Audrey out of gratitude for her mad summarizing skillz (I totally intended to create a kick-ass play list for the sequel, but...well...I didn't)
• Organize baby's room/assemble baby gear
• Research nursing bras/camis
• Prepare and freeze several meals for easy reheating during baby's first few weeks
• Explore cheap birth announcement ideas
• Purchase and wrap Christmas presents
• Find a pediatrician
• Install, inspect car seat
• Pack hospital bags
• Fuh-REAK out over the fact that in seven and a half weeks, I'll finally have my baaaaaybeeee

To keep me on task and give you something to read, I plan to post my progress every Wednesday. If you think I'm missing something, let me know. Any additions will probably cause me to break down at my desk, but you know, whatever.

Also, I think I can cross off that last one.

Baby Boom

Big weekend. BIG. Baby shower! Generous family and friends. Beautiful gifts. Very tired. Also, a little overwhelmed with the knowledge that yesterday marked eight remaining weeks until my daughter's arrival. That said, let's get this show on the road, shall we?

Freka's shower was hosted by my family and organized by my mother and sister, the super-excited Auntie Samantha, on Saturday, October 13, at my parents' house in Chicago.

My mother made the cake, and it was delicious: vanilla frosting, white and chocolate layers, strawberry and banana filling. Every pregnant woman's dream.

One of the shower activities involved all the guests writing a letter to the baby geared towards a specific birthday year. She'll receive a letter for each year of her life until she turns twenty-three. Here's Samantha, hard at work. I think she chose year eighteen.

Surely you recognize Molly, my blogger partner-in-crime. If I look a little dazed, it's because ten minutes before this picture was taken, I was holding the three-week-old son of my girlfriend, Nicole, oohing and aahing over his tiny fingers and toes, realizing with a start that in two months, the child in my arms will be mine.

It was daunting, to say the least, and I came close to throwing up a little bit in my mouth, but overall, it was a good feeling.

Words can't begin to describe how grateful Luke and I are for all the wonderful gifts we received. Stroller, high chair, Pack 'n Play, bedding, bouncy seat, tummy time mat, monitors, bottles, lotions, creams, clothes, blankets, toys.... It really was amazing. This baby is so loved, already.

Belly shot with the proud grandmas.

Me, three of the four grandparents, and the "Baby Girl" doggie signed by all the guests. When I saw Luke had written "I love you! -- Daddy," I almost cried.

Luke and his brother, Matt.

Though I didn't get to visit with everyone for as long as I would've liked, us girls did manage to squeeze in a chat over cake. Starting from the left we've got Gina, my sister Ryan (newly engaged! And the ring is so pretty!), Samantha, and Brooke.

Luke and me with my brother and sisters, sharing the sibling love. Are they a good-looking bunch or what?

Momma and Daddy.

Me just two days shy of week thirty-two, happily sporting a blow-out I wish I could've maintained for the duration of my pregnancy because honestly, the hair clips and rubber bands? Not really cutting it anymore.

And finally, because I know this is what you all REALLY came here to see, wee baby things!

 

I can't believe how quickly time has flown by. Luke and I completed our four-week childbirth prep class last Friday (and it was great. Our instructor is the mother of five and experienced labor and delivery with her last two completely unmedicated, which gives me hope that I can, too), so all that's left are two sessions dedicated to labor support and breastfeeding basics. I just spent a hundred and sixty dollars online at Gap Maternity because my pants won't stay up and my belly button is on the verge of shamelessly exposing itself to random coworkers at the lab. I'm still shopping for a breast pump, torn between the Internet's fondness for Ameda and Nicole's love for the Medela. We need to interview pediatricians. We finally have what we need to start decorating the baby's room. And this afternoon, I wrote my first entry for Freka's journal.

We really are almost there.

The one time I'm grateful she doesn't read my blog.

Once again, much thanks to everyone who provided suggestions for Ryan and Jason's wedding presents. In order to preserve what little sanity I have left, Luke and I decided to save the tangible items for their November reception/shower and go with a monetary gift to celebrate their actual elopement. I also ran to Victoria's Secret last night to pick out some pretty things for her to wear on her wedding night (smart thinking, Liz!). On the way to the mall, it hit me, really hit me, that I won't be there to watch my little sister get married. When I see her this Saturday, she'll be a single woman. The next time? She'll sport a new last name. She'll have taken vows to love and cherish another human being for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as they both shall live. And I WON'T BE THERE.

Dammit, I'm crying again. Luckily, rolled-up tank tops make excellent hankerchiefs.

It's probably safe to say that emotions will be running high at my baby shower this weekend. Expect lots of pictures (and possibly more tears) for Monday.

So as not to leave you on a completely depressing note, I want to get a feel for how many of you plan on participating in this year's National Blog Posting Month. I fully intend to hop on the bandwagon just like I did last year, especially since I was so freaking productive. Cheesy love song swap inspired by Lionel Richie! The birth of Tragic Love Friday! Yes, November 2006 was quite the month for Frema.

With everything going on in my life these days, I haven't been paying attention to this blog as much as I'd like, and since I have no idea how often I'll post once Freka arrives, think of NaBloPoMo as my early Christmas gift to the Internet.

Who's with me? 

I want fried chicken. (This entry isn't about that, though.)

Also, I'm still in awe that 58 of you commented on a post dedicated to cloth diapering.

Thank you all so much for the many, MANY recommendations you left in response to my call-out for cloth info. It sounds like the best plan is to buy a diaper here and there and see which ones Freka likes best. Luke and I don't mind using disposables while we're testing the waters, especially since we never planned on an all-or-nothing type deal to begin with. I have no intentions of touting shit-stained diapers when traveling outside city limits.

I have to admit, though, using anything other than an All-In-One scares the bejeezus out of me, even though several of you are die-hard advocates of the more...involved products. The idea of trying to assemble various diaper parts and do I have to order them all separately or are they included in each individual order and what the hell is a PUL is enough to scare me into Huggies's open arms for the rest of my childbearing years. I can only pray detailed instructions and step-by-step diagrams are included in every package.

I'm nervous about working out the kinks but definitely excited about keeping money in the bank. Somebody mentioned that the added expense of increased laundering might cancel out the cost savings associated with buying cloth, but I can't imagine doing one more load every couple of days will run me $336 a month--the approximate amount it would take to keep Freka in Pampers each month.

Hmm. Thanks, Jana, for pointing out my faulty logic. I took the numbers of diapers I anticipate changing every day (12), multiplied that by seven, and then multiplied that by four, which gave me 336--a correct number if we're talking about how many diapers Luke and I will change each month, but not the monthly cost.

On BabiesRUs.com, they carry boxes of 96-count Pampers for $22.95. Three boxes would leave us about 48 diapers short for the month, but the cost for those would be $68.97, so let's assume I'd spend a hundred dollars a month (with tax) on disposables. Not the huge monthly savings I anticipated, but still, a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks, and my cost for diapers overall should be considerably less with cloth. Kerflop shares a breakdown at her Very Baby Web site, one she probably didn't attempt to outline at 1:30 in the morning.

(Now back to our regularly scheduled entry.)

As far as the environment goes, whether or not it makes a significant difference to our landfill problem, it certainly can't hurt. So we'll give it a try and see how it goes.

Now on to more important things, like the fact that my sister Ryan is getting married in two weeks so she can move to Germany in December to be with her high school sweetheart slash ambitious Army husband.

My mother called last week to say that Jason had contacted my father from his base in Texas to ask for Ryan's hand in marriage (I know, I know, outdated and patriarchial and insulting to women, blah blah blah, but it means a lot to my parents that all of their future son-in-laws do this, and in the end nobody's worse for the wear). Anyway, permission was granted, Ryan flew down to Texas for the weekend, and by 11:30 Sunday night she had spilled the marital beans. She also told me Jason's being transferred to Germany in two months and they needed to be married by then so she could go with him. Tonight, she said they've made plans to elope next weekend so she can get a head start on the mountain of paperwork required for her Big Move. Jason is slated to come home for a short visit mid-November, at which time there'll be some sort of celebratory gathering for the newlyweds. By Christmas, they'll both be gone. It's not even guaranteed that Ryan can meet her firstborn niece before she has to leave.

So, to sum up: Baby sister is getting MARRIED, OH MY GOD, moving to an overseas country far away from friends and family, and by the way, my new brother-in-law might get deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan next year.

It has also not escaped my attention that in mid-November I'll be thirty-six weeks pregnant and Chicago is a good four-hour drive from Indianapolis, what with all the construction taking place on both the tollroads and expressways. And that's just one way.

This is a lot of information for a highly strung, easily overwhelmed incubator to absorb in a forty-eight-hour timespan, but so far, I'm doing OK. If you're up to being helpful, though, I wouldn't mind suggestions regarding appropriate wedding presents for a bride and groom who have no practical use for coffee pots, toasters, or oven mitts. These gifts should also be readily available at most retail chains, seeing as Freka's shower this Saturday will also commemorate Ryan's last days as a single woman. I can't let her say "I do" without having at least a little something from me.

Let's talk about cloth, baby

I hear there's a new de-lurking movement pulsing through the blogosphere today: The Great MoFo De-Lurk, in which those of you who cower behind the bland template of your feed reader are encouraged to visit the sites of the blogs you read and (gasp!) leave a comment. Now, I use a feed reader for blogs I'm still "getting to know" but rely heavily on my About page's blogroll to keep up with my favorite reads, so this concept isn't geared towards folks like me. However, if you're going to take the trouble to stop by these parts, the least I could do is give you something to talk about, right?

Right. So here it is: cloth diapers.

Whenever Luke and I tell people that we plan to use cloth diapers for Freka, we're usually met with a nose crinkle and a "Good luck with that," as if we're lofty idealists completely out of touch with the workings of the real world. And for the most part, I can understand where they're coming from. Why purchase reusable diapers when you can buy ones that go in the trash? Who wants to run shitty fabric through their big, shiny washing machine?

How about people who want to save money?

Though my husband won't be quitting his job until the end of my maternity leave, we'll actually be putting our one-income budget into effect the minute I'm hit with my first contraction since, you know, I'll be too busy caring for our child to bring home the bacon. This means we have to be very creative with our budget in hopes of working each dollar to the max. When it came time to draft our Excel spreadsheet, we looked at what the cost of using disposable diapers would do to that budget and nearly had a collective heart attack. Because of the Interweb, I was already familiar with some of the benefits of using cloth, but my near miss with death sealed the deal.

I talked to Luke about it, and he was totally on board, which was pretty important, seeing as he'll be the one in charge of all the day changings once I'm back at work. He was especially interested in doing a little something extra to cut back on the vast amounts of waste we humans dump into our landfills every day.

(Quick note here to acknowledge that the only reason cloth diapers are feasible for us as renters is the fact that we have a washer and dryer set in our apartment. No way could we afford to pay a professional laundering service. The whole point is to save money, remember?)

Yes, this move will require a little more legwork on our part. Yes, it might get a little disgusting from time to time. But hey, nobody said this parenting gig would be shit-free.

Still with me? Here's what I need from you:

Luke and I need to build up our supply of cloth diapers. We know we want to go with enough All-In-Ones (no messing with extra inserts for us, thank you very much) to last us the first few months, but we're not sure how many we need starting out or how varied the sizes should be (i.e., do we really need to buy the ones especially for newborns, or can we just go with the next size up?). We're also not sure where to search for the best deals or if we'll need any special accessories to make this work. Also, where in the hell do you stash the dirty ones until you're ready to wash them? I'm assuming the bathroom, but WHERE?

Readers without any interest in the type of fabric destined to grace my kid's ass: Can you offer any insights on the new Tori Amos CD? This is just as important as the diaper stuff, seeing as Luke and I bought tickets to her November Indy show! Yes!

Freka's going to love it. She's already partial to "Bliss."