You know the drill, part one is here, blahdee blah blah.
Did you feel as if they rushed you through labor? Or were you able to go at your own pace? Also, is the pain really as severe as people say it is?
When pregnant with Kara, I took three different childbirth classes and read a bunch of booktalk that outlined the nitty-gritty of labor and delivery, and the most important piece of advice I gleaned was to be my own advocate; that I had a right to express my wishes, ask questions, and know what was happening to my body at all times, and I had a right to know why. Giving birth isn't like mending a broken arm; it's not about fixing what's broken but facilitating a process that's natural and beautiful, and it's not unreasonable for a woman to hope that process stays as intact as possible. Until I was admitted, I was afraid of the hospital staff placing their own scheduling needs above my desire to let my baby come in her own due time. We were already nudging things along with the induction, and while I was in full agreement about its necessity, I wanted to keep further interventions down to a minimum.
I say all of that so you can appreciate how relieved I was to learn that my medical team felt the same way. When my nurse started my Pitocin drip, she did so at the lowest amount possible and slowly increased it over a period of hours. When my contractions hit their stride, the dose was scaled back. Cervical checks were done sparingly, and I was mostly left alone to dilate and efface in peace. I received the epidural when I asked for it, but it wasn't pushed on me, and the nurse didn't laugh when I told her I might try to go au naturale. And it was only after twelve hours of labor that the idea of a c-section was even brought up as an option. All of my questions were answered promptly and completely, and my husband and I both were treated with dignity and respect. So no, I don't feel like I was rushed through labor, and yes, I most certainly was allowed to go at my own pace. I'm glad I was prepared to speak up in case things were moving too quickly, but things never moved too quickly. I have no regrets.
Also, HELL YES the pain is severe as people say it is; at least, it was for me, though to be fair, it's well known that contractions jumpstarted with Pitocin are more intense than those that come about naturally. It's hard to describe what they felt like; it's as if a giant hand had wrapped itself around my uterus to squeeze it like a grape. At their worst, I remember thrashing my legs about, trying to focus on another part of my body, but it didn't help, and breathing didn't do anything, either. Praise Jesus for the epidural, is all I have to say about that.
What were your first thoughts when they decided to do a c-section? Were you relieved, sad, scared? Was there ever a point where you had to ask people to leave the delivery room to give you privacy? Was it nerve-racking having so many people focused on your lady-parts?
Wow, lots of questions here! To say I was scared about having a c-section would be a gross understatement. Aside from minor dental surgery—a root canal here, an implant there—I'd never gone under the knife. Nothing sprained, nothing broken, nothing removed, and I had hoped it would stay that way, thank you very much. I was terrified that the epidural would stop working mid-procedure, like it had for my mother fifteen years ago. I hated that my chances for future vaginal births would be in jeopardy. And I was worried I'd come to resent my baby for making things so difficult for me.
Once the doctor left to let me think things through, I sobbed good and hard for at least ten minutes. Crying has always been the best way for my body to get rid of bad feelings, so I didn't try to fight it. But surprisingly, when I was done, I was really done. I was done trying to question all the ways my operation could go wrong. I was done praying for my cervix to dilate that last fateful centimeter or for mini-Bree to get to her proper station. I was ready to meet my baby, and at least with the c-section, I didn't have to wonder when that was going to happen anymore. And once she was out, nothing mattered but her.
In regards to having people in the delivery room with me, long-time readers will recall that I went back and forth on that issue way before the big day. On one hand, I wanted my family and friends to be with me on one of the most important days of my life. On the other, I was afraid I'd be too intimidated with everyone there to practice all the natural coping techniques I'd learned in childbirth class. I was also nervous about Luke and me not having enough time to just be together and take everything in.
In the end, though, it turned out the big crowd I was hoping for/afraid of wasn't meant to be. Most of our family members were too sick to make the trip to the hospital, but my sister Samantha and good friend Molly braved the questionable Midwest weather and came to Indianapolis. They showed up around lunchtime, which meant Luke and I had the whole morning to ourselves, and they really helped me keep my mind off all the "what-ifs." They brought me presents, they made me laugh, they massaged my feet. And when I found out about the c-section, they told me they loved me and said everything would be OK. I'm so glad they were there.
As far as the whole privacy/lady parts thing goes? Any shred of modesty I had left by that point in my pregnancy went out the window the minute they gave me those crappy gowns to wear; after that, I truly didn't care about trying to stay decent. Molly and Samantha were told by the nurse to leave the room for every cervical check and the insertion of my epidural, but other then that, I was perfectly fine with them sticking around as much as they wanted to.
I would like to hear how breastfeeding went the first few times.
Oh, this one’s a doozy, so I’ll save it for next time. Be sure to bring tissues.
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Excerpted from Parental Discretion Advised, originally published on Parents.com. Copyright 2008 by Meredith Corporation. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission.
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