Let's play a game.

We'll call it The Stupidest Thing I Ever Said Game. I'll go first.

As a freshman in college: "You wouldn't know a good man if he slapped you in the face."

Apparently I had a non-traditional approach towards finding Mr. Right.

Now you. And if you happen to be the type of person who never says anything dumb, ever, feel free to share the stupidest thing that was ever said to you. I'm all about inclusion.

Comments

[Katie]

VirginiaGal - I'm in the west and haven't heard 'Snag' either. Off to check out urbandictionary.com . . .

[Jen]

My girlfriend and I were out partying with some friends and had to take a late-night drive through What-a-Burger. My girlfriend, Stacy, ordered a cheesburger, I ordered a "Breakfast on a Bun" (my favorite) with meat on the side. The girls in the car couldn't understand why I would order like that and I explained "Stacy likes to eat my meat!" We laughed so hard the little Ford Focus we were in was SHAKING!!!! Lesbian humor always = Good times.

[H]

My husband, our niece and I were watching tv a few years ago and there was footage of Whitney Houston when she was verrry thin. My niece, who was 16 or 17 at the time, turns to us and says, "Look at her! She's so emancipated!"

My husband and I laughed so hard and still get a kick out it (she does, too, now). We still tease her about the difference between emancipated and emaciated.

[Erica]

Ok, you can tell my memory is blocking this embarrassing moment. The guys nickname was Snatch,not Snag, so Snatching kisses or vices versa is what I repeated to my friends parens. Gah! Hope that cleared it up for you Frema. Now go laugh your butts off about my stupidity;)

[Anth]

Ha! I just laughed out loud at that one!

I can never think of these things on demand. It's like when you are supposed to go around the circle and tell your most embarrassing moment. My mind always goes completely blank and all I see in my past is a featureless wasteland of non-embarrassing moments. So, I have nothing to add. But tonight at 5 am when I wake up to go to the bathroom for the eleventh time, I will probably some genius remark I made sometime. Which I will then forget by the time I actually wake up for the day.

[Anth]

Here's one my sister (19) said last year: she pronounced prix as pricks when we went to the Grand Prix go-cart track. My brothers and I laughed so hard. And still joke about it.

[Julie]

I went to the pet store and told the cashier that my boyfriend had given me crabs for Christmas, what am I supposed to feed them? Hermit crabs. A pair of them.

Also, this one wasn't something I said but did (or didn't do):
I was driving to my out of town boyfriend's house Christmas night because I was invited to join their family on the annual trip to visit the grandparents in Chicago and we were supposed to leave really early in the morning. So although it was storming out, I felt confident in my winter driving abilities to make it the 4 hours to his house that night. About halfway there it got so bad that I contemplated pulling over. I was driving in 3rd gear and the snow was just piling up on the windshield. I couldn't see a thing. Until I remembered to turn on the windshield wipers...

[Julie]

FYI it was the same bf in both scenarios and I ended up marrying him.

[wilddreemer]

While dropping off some paperwork to a vendor of ours who happened to be a friend of my moms from school she said, "I used to go to school with your mom" I replied, that was a long time ago you guys are pretty old...I was meant with sn evil blank stare

[Stacey]

OMG, laughing hysterically. These are all so funny!

My most horrifying moment comes from high school. I HATE speaking in front of people, so I was dreading the day in my senior English class that I had to recite a poem from memory.

I had perfectly memorized Robert Frost's "Stopping By Woods On a Snowy Evening". But I was nervous and distracted (probably by the word "queer", which you really don't want to have to say in front of a group of 18 year old boys) when I stood up to recite...

"My little horse must think it queer, to stop without a farmhouse near. Between the woods and Frosted Flake..." And that's where the whole class busted up - that'd be FROZEN LAKE. Oops.

Along the lines of getting nervous when speaking, when I was ten I introduced myself to a neighbor while trick-or-treating as "Paul Lear's son", while my best friend collapsed to the floor in hysterical laughter. Um, I'm a GIRL.

[Jeannette]

Two weeks ago, there was a funny smell around in my office. At some point I recognize the smell and I said "It smells like toilet freshener here". Then my colleague said it was his perfume that smelled like that! Indeed it was!