Yes, I still watch All My Children, and yes, I'm excited for Kendall to wake up, even though I think she's whiny

As I sit down to write this, it's twenty after five on Tuesday. The Indy area is expecting four to five inches of snow. It's snowing right now! And it's rush hour. A number of employees took off early to get home without killing themselves. But I am still at work. Why? Because I am a colossal idiot. This is true for two reasons:

• Being so consumed with work that I didn't turn off my computer until five.

• Locking my keys in the car.

You hear that? I LOCKED MY KEYS IN THE CAR. IN THE SNOW. DURING RUSH HOUR. WHILE IT WAS RUNNING. WITH THE HEAT ON FULL BLAST.

Yes.

My boss was a peach and stuck around long enough for me to call Luke on her cell phone so I could inform him that he and my innocent baby daughter would have to brave questionable weather and incompetent drivers to bring the spare set of keys for our new (used) Mitsubishi Outlander, which I totally think is to blame for this mess because it's the first car I've ever driven with automatic locks, and I must've hit the black button one time too many because one minute I was closing the door and the next I was making puppy-dog eyes at my laptop, Dave Sedaris book, Nirvana Unplugged CD, and purse.

Anyway, I'm in my boss's office now, waiting for Luke to finish up with Kara's dinner before they come to get me. I could be working on any one of the bazillion projects I'm trying to finish before next Tuesday--my last day in the office before maternity leave--but seeing as I'm already exhibiting colossal idiot behavior (for evidence, see above), instead I'm going to ramble on about TV. You like TV, don't you? I do, even more so now that I have satellite and a DVR and the stupid writers' strike is over, and all of those things are causing me to re-evaluate how I spend my TV-watching time.

Pre-writers' strike, pre-baby, during the days of apartment living and no cable, Luke and I were fairly simple with our prime time repertoire. We had a few shows that we liked: Heroes, 24, Scrubs, and The Office were set to record every week on the VCR. Bones and House were fun to catch when we remembered they were on. Supernanny became a low-key, Friday night tradition (except for a recent episode where the family in need consisted of a woman with a four-year-old son and a five-month-old baby and a husband who died from some horrible illness and they started taping the show before he passed away and actually aired footage of him, bed-ridden, trying to play with his kids. Then they showed clips from his funeral and the mom releasing a balloon in the air in his memory or something like that, and she broke down while talking about how she didn't know how to raise her children without him, and after ten minutes I was sobbing so hard Luke deleted the show from our DVR and I haven't watched the show since). Deal or No Deal was non-negotiable for me,but Luke could take it or leave it.

Then came Kara and maternity leave and the need for something to do while I laid on the couch with a newborn nestled into my chest. Enter Lost. Enter Heaven and a renewed love for Charlie Matthew Fox and a brand-new love for Merry from Lord of the Rings and the main guy in The Stepfather (who is also the rich girl's dad in The Cutting Edge, something I learned just two weeks ago, thank you, Hallmark Channel).

Then came the writers' strike. Good-bye, 24. Good-bye, any chance for a decent season of Scrubs.

UPDATE: It is 6:08 p.m. Luke called to say that he and Kara are on their way but that the road leading out of our subdivision isn't looking good. Fabulous.

Then we moved into our first-ever house and decided it was time to upgrade. Hello, DISH Network and fancy, schmancy DVR that records shows without using a video tape and possesses the ability to pause live television! Enter shows that weren't even possible to watch before, like What Not to Wear and Man vs. Food, and 2 a.m. programming that doesn't revolve around medication designed to enhance sexual performance.

Then the creator of Lost wrote a new show for FOX called Fringe. And House got really good and Heroes got really confusing. 30 Rock turned out to be pretty funny! Luke decided to check out The New Adventures of Old Christine. And I couldn't keep up with NBC's random airing of DOND.

Now that the winter TV season has begun and the writers' strike is over, the Frema-Useless Clutter household is in the process of determining which shows are actually worth our time. Due to a DVR malfunction, we lost three episodes of Heroes and the 24: Redemption movie. I was half-sleeping through Heroes to begin with; the idea of jumping in now after falling so far behind does not appeal to me. Is that even on again yet? I have no clue. Meanwhile, Luke is ready to abandon Jack

UPDATE: 6:28 p.m. Luke and Kara are here! I'll finish this at home.

UPDATE: 1:09 a.m. on Wednesday. Thankfully, the ride home was uneventful. Let us proceed with the trivial dialogue.

Luke wants to abandon Jack Bauer altogether, and I'm inclined to agree except that I still think Kiefer Sutherland has the best voice in Hollywood and he isn't exactly hard on the eyes, either. Plus, my brother-in-law likes to make fun of the show's over-the-top drama by shouting things like, "Step away from the bomb!" or "You can't handle the truth!" and I think that's really funny. Though probably not a valid reason to tune in this season. I totally spaced on the premiere but managed to record the second hour as well as the last two. Maybe I'll catch up on maternity leave. I've gotta have something to keep me alert for those 3 a.m. feedings, you know?

Also complicating matters is the fact that Scrubs is back on a different network with writing that's more remniscent of the earlier seasons (thank you, ABC) and good God, there are only so many hours in a day.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure these are the shows that we'll stick with:

• House
• Fringe
• Scrubs
• The New Adventures of Old Christine
• Man Vs. Food (on the Travel Channel. Tell me I'm not the only one who lusts after the pancakes in the opening credits)
• Lost
• The Office
• 30 Rock
• Supernanny (though I'm not afraid to delete you, Jo! That's what you get for making pregnant mothers cry)

Those who remember my former obsession with Howie Mandel don't have to worry; I haven't sworn off DOND. But really, when the hell is it even on? Every time I watch it, it's because I happen to be flipping through the channels and catch a random shot of a model opening a case.

Feel free to share your TV trials and tribulations here. You can also touch on the whole keys-in-car thing, unless it's to call me a colossal idiot, because dude, I've SO got that covered.

Comments

[Kenandbelly]

(we don't have a TV...)

..

...

Is that crickets I hear?

We're all about youtube, though. Mostly old clips from the Muppet Show. There's nothing more entertaining that Elton John singing Don't Go Breaking My Heart with Miss Piggy. Except the Sweedish Chef.

[Jen]

I have totally done the locking the keys in the car while it's running in the snow thing. I didn't have the complication of being pregnant, being at work, or having a kid at the time, but let me tell you: my mom was NOT happy about having to drive to my (then) boyfriend's (now husband's!) house at midnight to bring me the extra set of keys. heh

[Jen L.]

Keys in the car = suck. But it doesn't make you an idiot. Everyone does that at one time or another. I even did it with DEAN in the car. Damn automatic locks. (fortunately, I had the valet key in my wallet...but had to call my husband in tears to be reminded of that fact!)

What is going on with Deal or No Deal!?!? Annoying, I say. I do love LOST. So very much. I had myself a marathon in the days leading up to the premier event last week. Isn't DVR the best invention ever!!??

We are also enjoying Fringe. Marcus loves Heroes, but I could take it or leave it. Most of the shows we have come to love (Pushing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money featuring Super Sexy Peter Krause, and Eli Stone) are apparently being cancelled. And again I say SUCK.

[Kerry]

I guess you've never heard of the cell phone-unlock automatic lock doors-trick? If you called Luke's cell from your cell, and he had an extra key to your car (the auto unlock kind) he could have pressed the unlock button into his cell while you pointed your cell at the car door. Poof! It unlocks! I've tried it, it really works! Now, I tried it from my house and driveway, so not such a great distance as your job to your house. But still, worth a try! You should do a dry run and check. Ya never know! It's something about the frequency and the airwaves and all that.

[Brie]

How about Leverage on TNT on Tuesday nights. My husband and I are hooked on that one.

[Janssen]

I LOVE House. In fact, we're watching the third season right now on DVD. Clearly, we're a bit slow :)

[Erika]

I happened upon Gary Unmarried when Owen was a newborn and I was feeding him and stuck to the couch. It was really funny and continues to be hilarious. I never really liked Jay Mohr on Last Comic Standing but he's great as Gary, and so is his ex-wife and ESPECIALLY their son.

Literally, the only tv I am watching is Tivo'd Gary Unmarried and Grey's Anatomy (and Daily Show when I have time to watch it). The writer's strike gave me so much free time in the evenings that I never got back into any of the serials except GA.

[Erica]

Try locking your keys in your company car, along w/ your purse, cell phone, etc. an hour and a half from home. also the damn car was a volvo and my purse was in the trunk which locks when a locksmith opens the front door and then the car is screamingat you all while parked in a doctors office. It happens. Plus the more babies you have, the more brain cells you loose. At least that is my excuse and I'm sticking to it. As for TV, I love 2 1/2 men and the one that comes on before it Big bang theory. Hilarious.
Glad you made it home safe.

[Erica]

That would be a doctors office parking lot. Not actually in the office.

[AJU5's Mom]

I have done the locking the keys in the car while running - although it was more ice than snow that I was dealing with. And I was in the middle of nowhere (stopped to wipe off my wipers because they had frozen), and my jacket and everything was in the car. Luckily a nice family came by, picked me up, took me to the nearest town to find someone to unlock my car. When I got back - the state troopers were there wondering why a running car was on the side of the road with no one in it...
This was very pre-kids, so yeah, you are that stupid.

[Liz]

I just discovered Man v. Food over the weekend and they must've been running a marathon b/c I watched it for HOURS. Love that show.

The only other show I try to catch regularly is Two and Half Men. I do like New Adventures of Old Christine but I think they changed what time it comes on so I never see it. My husband thinks Gary Unmarried is hilarious. Same writers as Two and a Half Men, I believe.

[ktjrdn]

I locked my keys in the car at least 5 times while I was pregnant the last time. I blame the baby. I keep an extra set of keys to the car AND the house in my desk, just in case.

[Parsing Nonsense]

My husband and I decided that the newest seasons of Heroes are a lot like the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie: You'll go mad trying to make sense of them so just sit back and let the madness wash over you.

I'm curious about whether your car ran out of gas while it was running and locked up, though. What a pain that must have been!

Also, I'd like to take your boss out for coffee. She seems like a sweetheart.

[Jenny]

I also feel your frustration about Deal or No Deal. About 3 weeks ago they ran one, the contestant was in the middle of playing, aand they haven't run one since to finish that game. Once it comes back on, you can use the DVR to set it up to record all "New Episodes." Then when it is haphazardly on, it will tape on its own (and you notice how I still say "tape" not "record"? Any one of us who grew up with VCRs will always say "tape" I think!)
Perhaps it has to do with Howie having his new show?
Glad you got back into your car and home safe and sound!

[daddyd]

Sorry about the key thing. Stuff does happen like that. You made the best of it and you were not lone in that situation. You are never lone; there is always Luke help around. It was good to hear the ride in the snow worked out. I am not sure that the powers that be know about snow removeable down there. Good story time line.

[Brooke]

The cell phone key thing that Kerry talked about really does work!

[maggy]

I simply cannot live without tv shows, they become like a drug! Among my favorites are Desperate housewives ( http://file.sh/desperate+housewives+torrent.html ) and Sex and the city ( http://rapid4me.com/?q=sex+and+the+city ), and which ones do you like?