Not the HELLP I had in mind

"175," announced the nurse.

I almost shit my pants when she announced my weight, up a whopping NINE POUNDS from the week before.

As she took my blood pressure, she also shared that the protein level in my urine had risen to a +3. Unbeknownst to me, I've been at a +2 all month, but since that could have been for any number of reasons, it wasn't enough to raise a red flag.

"The doctor will want to do some tests," she said.

Not the routine 37-week appointment I was hoping for yesterday.

Me at 37 weeks. This was taken two days ago, before I knew about the atrocious weight gain (though it only brings me to 35 pounds overall. Thank goodness for small favors?).

I talked to my doctor. My blood pressure is and always has been normal, so no cause for concern there. However, he wonders if I might have HELLP Syndrome; if I do, the only cure is to deliver the baby.

"So he could come as early as Saturday?" I asked in disbelief.

He smiled sympathetically. "Tomorrow. He could be here tomorrow."

-------

In the waiting room, I was fine. I called Luke. I had three vials of blood drawn. I accepted my tool kit for collecting a 24-hour urine sample (which is festering in an ugly orange jug in the fridge as we speak, isn't THAT a lovely picture). I called my boss. I walked out with the receptionist and got into my car. I called Luke again and pulled out of the parking lot.

And then I lost it. Suddenly I was sobbing about not being ready to mother two children and what if tonight is the last night that we'll only have Kara and the baby clothes aren't washed and I don't want to go to the hospital and waaaaah.

I broke down again a few hours later during Kara's bathtime, sitting on the floor and cradling my head in my arms on the toilet seat lid as I contemplated life's grave injustices. "I'm not ready," I wailed.

There was silence for a couple of minutes. Then Luke said, "We can call him Jake if you want."

When in doubt, comfort your wife by conceding to one of her top name choices.

(Note: His name will not be Jake. But I sure appreciated the gesture.)

-------

I'm OK now and trying to stay positive. Baby Brother measured at 40 centimeters and I don't have any other obvious HELLP symptoms (headaches, nausea, vomiting), so maybe I just grow big babies. All I can do is wait for a call on the results of my blood work and take it from there. If all is well, I'll drop off my urine sample at 4 p.m., have more blood drawn, and await further instructions. I spent a lot of last night and will spend much of today catching up on work so I don't leave my boss in the lurch. Luke's been on laundry detail. Kara's being her normal wonderful self.

 

I just called the doctor's office and was told someone would get back to me soon with an update on my blood work. I'm torn between wanting this pregnancy to finally be over--my physical uncomfortableness is now at a point where I cry out just from getting out of my seat--and hoping for more time to relax and prepare. But last night I had a dream about Baby Brother, and he was so cute, except for the part where he didn't have a penis and Luke told me I was looking in the wrong place. 

Don't hold me to it, but I think I'm finally ready to snuggle my son.

Comments

[Nichole]

I'll be thinking of you today! Particularly as we start the day's 45th reading of "The Lady with the Alligator Purse." :)

[Maggie]

Wow - I'll be thinking of you these next couple days. You are doing an awesome job. Whenever that boy comes you'll have two beautiful babies! Again, thinking of your and your family and hoping for all the best.

[Christina]

I would have lost it at "tomorrow"- Good luck today with keeping a level head and getting your work done. Also with the update from the dr.
I dont know what to say other than that.
Will be stalking for updates.

[Bethany]

Oh yes, the orangee jug of pee. Had to do that a couple times myself. I had the same problems only I was crying for him to take the baby out! I was so done being pregnant.

One big baby breeder to another- hang in there!

[Erica]

You are in my thoughts. I had my daughter several weeks early and was totally unprepared. But hey! Everything worked out and she didn't know that her room wasn't ready or that I had a nervous breakdown on the way to the hospital....Ahhh kids. They start out so young throwing us curve balls. I guess that is to prepare us for the teen years?

[Jen L.]

Thinking of you and hoping all is well! Yeah, I'm just gonna leave my google reader open until he's born so I don't miss anything. (even if that means it's open til Feb. 5!) Oh, babies and their own agendas. Watch, this one will probably trick you and come out weighing 6 pounds just to screw with your head. Once you snuggle him, though, nothing else will matter. :)
That was awfully nice of Luke to offer to let you call him Jake. I'll have to remember the crying on the toilet thing for next time around, especially if it's a girl!(Marcus and I don't agree on girls' names. Thank God Dean was a boy.)
Kara is SO excited to have her Momma at home with her! Look at that grin.
Take care of yourself. Good luck with your pee jug. (HATE the pee jug!)

[Parsing Nonsense]

I think you'll be absolutely tickled by your little boy! You seem like such a natural mother that I have no doubt at all that you'll jump right into the swing of things with two kids.

[daddyd]

What a wonderful balance your family will have in the outside operational world. Two and two: mom and daughter; father and son. One big happy family all together as one.

[Lindsey]

Jake is one of my top names for a boy too! Not Jacob, just Jake! That is so sweet of Luke to offer to change his name to Jake.

I hope the rest of the pregnancy goes smoothly...I really can't wait to see your new baby!

[Hilary]

Hey there! I haven't dropped by in a while and holy baby, I can't believe it's already time for a baby brother to be born. I'm saying a little prayer for your back because guuurl, I can't even imagine how you are standing up straight. This picture so reminds me of the last picture I have of Dom in my belly. The female body really is an amazing thing. I'm glad everything checked out okay. by the looks of things, I do think you just make and carry big babies. Good luck with the delivery (when it happens) and don't worry about your emotions. Remember, they return to normal eventually.
Also, as always, Kara is a DOLL!