Ode to my fourteen-month-old*

Having a newborn in the house again has caused me to look at Kara in a whole new light, bringing an acute awareness to the big girl she’s becoming and also how young she is at the same time. When I look at my daughter and watch her run around our living room, flip through books, and dance to music, it feels like her infancy happened a lifetime ago. And yet, when I hold Nathan, I’m instantly transported back to last winter, when I spent much of my time camped out on the couch, snuggling Kara close to my chest, breathing in her smell, and allowing sleep to wash over the both of us every afternoon. Each day I’m reminded that these early moments really do fly by so fast, and each day I pledge to soak up every minute of my children’s babyhood, no matter how frustrating things get at times.

Kara has been such a trooper since we brought Nathan home. Her needs at this point are really pretty simple: read to her when asked (which is pretty much all the time), feed her when she’s hungry, change her when she’s wet/dirty, and overall keep a watchful eye. With two full-time parents currently in the house, it’s been relatively easy to keep her happy, but there are plenty of times when one of us is taking a shower or running an errand and the other is charged with watching both kids. And when that happens while Nathan is awake and wanting to be fed or held or changed, Kara is left standing there, holding her copy of Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You?, and I feel a wave of sadness that she’s dealing with so much change at such a young age.

But she’s hanging in there. When one arm is cradling Nathan and the other is balancing the spine of her book on my knee, she stands next to me as close as she can, a big smile smeared across her face, content to hear the familiar words of her beloved story even if she can’t sit on my lap. When the baby's passed out in his swing and it's just me and Kara, she revels in the quality time, having completely forgotten that I snapped at her for clawing at her brother's face only minutes ago. Sure, she's thrown her share of tantrums these past few weeks, but for the most part, she is patient with us as Luke and I master this new juggling act, taking what she's given and enjoying the moment for what it's worth. She'll take story time however she can get it. She'll take MY time however she can get it. And boy, am I happy to give it to her.

Before I had even one child, I would read about one of my favorite bloggers giving birth to her second, see adorable pictures of said newborn, and almost immediately forget the older one even existed. Because babies are shiny and new! And toddlers and young kids...well...they're not. And when I thought about having my own children someday, I worried that my love for a shiny! new! baby would be so all-consuming that Number One would seem run-of-the-mill by comparison. Now I realize how silly I was, because nothing in the world, not even Nathan's intoxicating baby smell, could make me view Kara as anything less than extraordinary.

 

* I originally wrote this entry for my Parents blog, but for reasons I can't explain, I wanted it to live here.

Comments

[Jenny]

She is getting so tall!
I am sure the balancing act will only get easier.
As Kara gets older, I have been meaning to tell you for quite sometime that she looks a lot like I did at that age.
(God help her to keep growing to look like YOU, however! ;)

[Kenandbelly]

Ya just gotta LOVE bookworm toddlers. Seriously. (At least, I do. There. I'll say it: I LOVE BOOKWORM TODDLERS. And bookworm KIDS. And bookworm TEENS. And bookworm ADULTS. Bookworms, bookworms, bookworms.)

(Okay, I've gotta admit: the above enthusiasm is real, but it's also meant to camouflage my anxious reaction to an issue you've touched on here. Only my worry is that #2 simply cannot be as awesome as my firstborn because, seriously, my girl, like your girl, is like the Mary Poppins of toddlers and it would be impossible to win the lotto twice. I know this is silly and a (hypothetical for us right now) second would be awesome in different ways. Right? Right?)

[Jen L.]

I love bookworms, too! Dean would rather read than do anything else. It kind of makes my day. My nephew doesn't get read to much, so whenever I visit and start reading to him he looks at me like "What are you doing to my book?" It's sad. Books are so important, not only for their language skills, but for their imaginations! And I will now step off my soapbox. ;)

Kara is going to be a great big sister. Isn't it interesting how some kids are so in tune with things even at an early age? Dean's best friend Kate is 2 and she LOVES to come over and "take care" of Dean. She's a total mother hen. Sounds like Kara is super patient and loving--a great trait for a big sis! Nathan's a lucky guy. And she's gorgeous and has great fashion sense.

[AJU5's Mom]

AJU5 prefers to "read" herself or to have me read one book while she reads another. I guess it saves me from having to hear the same story (and memorizing it)! She is growing up fast, but she is still your little girl! I am glad you get to have so great Mommy/Daughter time!

[Julie]

I was worried that I wouldn't have room for my second bc I love my first SO much (there are 16 months bw them), and it took a bit longer to bond with Holly (for a variety of reasons), but now I can see that you never replace your kids with new ones. I love seeing how mine (2.5 and 14 mo) are now interacting together (fighting is the better word, but my hubby thinks it is the most adorable thing to see them at it that I have been forced to see it in a more positive lght as of late). She may seem a little overwhelmed, but you have given her the best present ever in a sibling (esp a close one). The benefits will far outweigh any perceived time discrepencies. Also, Kara is TOO cute. Seriously. She could be Holly's twin- age, size, colouring, hair, you name it. CUTE!

[Parsing Nonsense]

What a beautiful post. I've always wondered about how things change for parents when a second child enters the family. Kara is definitely a special little girl, with the most! adorable! face! How could anyone forget her?!

[r+k+mama]

This was just a really beautiful post.

[daddyd]

There is only so much time and needs are taken care of as they are required to be taken care of. First things first. But there is enough love to go around to all. That love will continue to bind together the whole family.

[Fraulein N]

Awww. What a sweet little girl you have!

[Hez]

Hey there, I found you through Parents.com. Love your blog! Gorgeous little 14 month old! :)