So! Gymboree kind of sucked. At least, that's what I yelled once we were safely out the door and I could sob freely in the car.
Our first problem was showing up late. Fifteen minutes late, to be exact, because I didn't print out directions and Luke and I bickered over the best route to take and even though we knew we'd only catch two-thirds of the class, we showed up anyway because it took us a freaking half-hour to get there and we weren't leaving without scoring some bona fide Gymboree fun, dammit.
And thus, the tone of the day was set.
We got our name tags at the front desk, and Luke tended to Nathan while Kara and I entered the play gym. Most everyone was crowded around an inflated balance beam, instructor at one end, the parents supporting their children on the other. The kids eagerly walked across the balance beam into the instructor's arms. I waited my turn and tried to do the same with Kara, but she only took a few steps before she lost her balance and fell into my arms. We tried a second time, but nothing doing. (I’m sure it didn't help that I was trying to rush so as not to hold up the line.) I smiled weakly at the teacher and followed Kara as she ran away from the beam and up to various children, pointing excitedly and oohing with delight. My heart melted a little as she went up to a girl and tried to kiss her face, but the little girl wasn't very receptive. I apologized to her parents. "She has a little brother at home and kisses him all the time," I said. They smiled politely and replied, "Sophia's more into her personal space."
Fair enough.
Next, we all surrounded the balance beam to play the Freeze game, which basically consists of slapping your hands on the beam in time with the music and stopping—er, freezing—when the music stops.
Kara wouldn't touch it. It was all I could do to just keep her next to me.
We gathered in a circle for a series of Follow the Leader sorts of games paired with more singing. Stomp your feet, touch the ground, that sort of thing, but Kara wasn't interested.
We pulled out a parachute and encouraged all the kids to sit in the middle, but Kara wouldn't do it. I even physically put her in there myself, thinking she'd warm up when she saw the other children, but she just cried out and ran back to me. She freaked out a little when we gathered underneath and clung to me the whole time.
She wouldn't touch the bubbles the teacher blew into the air. She wouldn't clap her hands during "If You're Happy and You Know It." And on the way out of the gym area, she refused to accept a Jimbo hand stamp.
The whole time I was in there, I could feel my chest tightening, my body tensing, and even though we only made about twenty-five minutes of the class, I couldn't wait to get out of there and have a good cry. Overreact much, Bree?
It's just that I felt bad for so many reasons—for showing up late and throwing Kara into a situation she clearly needed to warm up to, for my baby not getting so much of what the other kids were doing so easily, for wondering what other people thought of her when really, I shouldn't have cared in the slightest. She's not even a full year and a half yet, and it's freaking GYMBOREE, not a college prep course. Who cares if she won't clap her hands in time?
I guess I do.
After I was able to calm down, Luke put the morning into perspective for me. He pointed out that the class is geared for kids ages 16 to 22 months, which means Kara was probably one of the youngest ones there; at her age, even a few months makes a huge difference. We don't know how old the other kids were or how long they had been attending; maybe it took them a few times to get the hang of it, too. Plus, this is the first time she's ever tried to participate in any kind of structured/timed activity; of course there's going to be a period of adjustment. She barely had time to get the gist of one thing before we were moving on to another. And just because today didn't go well in my eyes doesn't mean she didn't have a good time. She really did like seeing all the kids and even showed interest in some of the play gym equipment, but we had to hurry out so they could bring in the next class.
We'll be out of town the next two weekends, but in the last week of May, we'll try Gymboree again. The receptionist was nice enough to invite us back for another free class since we missed a good portion of this first one. In the meantime, we'll also look into other activities that Kara might like that are also a little more low-key. If anything, this just cemented my gut feeling that it's time for Kara to socialize more. The learning curve might be hard now, but it will be so good for her in the long run. And honestly, for me, too.
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Excerpted from Parental Discretion Advised, originally published on Parents.com. Copyright 2009 by Meredith Corporation. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission.
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