Twenty-something

What started as a "Hey, that looks like fun!" exercise gradually morphed into a "What a fantastic opportunity to document evey single detail of the last ten years" beast requiring hours of photo-searching and link-building. And each time I remember something new, I have to come back here and add it. I've already updated this entry three times since publishing it in the wee hours of the morning. Way to kill a light-hearted exercise, Frema.

Let's get this show on the road.

2000
Middle of sophomore year of college. Took advantage of Bacon Thursdays in the school cafeteria. Served as features editor of the biweekly newspaper and editor of the literary magazine. Joined the mock trial team and took my first plane ride since toddlerhood for a regional competition in Salt Lake City. Received my first cell phone as a birthday present, a pay-as-you-go kind that was bigger than my hand. Learned how to crochet from a dear friend. Wore my side bangs ridiculously long. Had what I now know to be my last fling with Nick, The Boyfriend Who Went For Three Weeks Without Calling, before meeting my next beau, Mike, during a month-long stint at Waldenbooks. Balanced the rest of my summer working hours at Navy Pier's Popcorn Palace and the Sam Goody in Water Tower Place in downtown Chicago, where celebrities would often make spontaneous appearances in the food court except on my lunch hour. Had my first car accident with my first car, a 1993 Oldsmobile Cutlass, in front of a Krispy Kreme because I had yet to master the delicate art of merging.

Received my first computer. Started junior year. Sister Samantha began her freshman year at Saint Joe. Waffled on my course of study (English was always on my radar, but I was super-ambitious and determined to get the most out of my loans by taking on a second major. Indecision eventually led to a minor in journalism.) Spent countless weekends in Chicago visiting Mike and ignoring everyone else. Scored the first of two speeding tickets driving back to campus from his apartment. Attended Molly and Kevin's wedding. My grandmother - my mother's mother who had lived downstairs from my family for the past ten years - passed away. Interviewed for an internship with my college town's daily newspaper and met Luke for the first time. Developed instant crush.

 

 

2001
Celebrated 21st birthday with Mike and his friends at a seventies and eighties dance club and drank my first martini. Broke up with Mike at the beginning of spring break but reunited with him by week's end. Broke up with him for good before the month was out. Attended a Kairos retreat through Saint Joe with Samantha. Served as co-chair for Saint Joe's Relay for Life team. Bought Luke in a charity bachelor auction and soon after begin dating. Had my first delicious taste of spinach and artichoke dip. Straightened my hair consistently, which led to countless burn marks on my forehead. Earned second speeding ticket and the suspension of my license for the duration of the summer, which meant Luke and I spent May through July driving back and forth from his apartment to the South Shore train station for weekend visits. That wasn't time-consuming at all!

Managed summer communications internship while continuing to work for the Palace. Discovered Liz Phair, thanks to a mixed tape from Luke. Saw Aerosmith and Dave Matthews Band in concert. Began senior year. Accepted internship with Saint Joe's publications and media relations department and wrote tons of feature articles and press releases for the magazine and Web site. Fell hard for Harry Potter. Started researching graduate schools and thinking about life after graduation.

 

 

2002
Organized my biggest PR event for Saint Joe while still an intern, a campus showing of American History X during African American History Month and arranging a Q&A with Frank Meeink, who inspired the movie. Graduated from college. Our family dog, Gyver, was put to sleep the day before the ceremony, unbeknownst to me until I came home. Started my first full-time job as Saint Joe's publications and media relations director and agreed to supervise a friend of mine, which in hindsight was a huge mistake but at least came with a sweet offer to live on campus for free. Bought my first new car eight seconds later, a beautiful Chevy Cavalier.

Took first overnight with Luke at Brown County State Park here in Indiana. Went on the first of two whitewater rafting trips with Saint Joe. Started classes in DePaul University's literary writing MA program. Put on an extra fifteen pounds as a result of restauranting with Luke, spending ten hours a day behind a desk, and sustaining myself on value meals, pub cheeseburgers, and blizzards. My family adopted our next dog right before Christmas, another German shepherd, a fiesty puppy named Styx.

  

 

2003
Joined Weight Watchers and lost seventeen pounds. Abandoned campus life to rent a house with a friend in town. Took and passed a three-hour qualifying exam in between trimesters. Went on my second whitewater rafting trip, this time with Luke and Samantha in tow. Visited a ton of state parks with Luke. Joined a writers' group in Rensselaer. Took an autobiography class at DePaul and learned about blogging. Started my first blog and updated it three times a week as part of a class assignment. Spent lots of money at New York and Company, The Limited, Victoria's Secret, and Bakers, courtesy of graduate school loan money. (Bad Frema!) 

Got into watching The Nanny reruns with my mother on Lifetime on the days I was in Chicago for class. Dabbled in cooking with a pumpkin pie (bland), sweet potatoes (lumpy), and a lemon torte (oddly shaped). Moved out of my rental house and into my very own apartment, a charming one-bedroom barely 450 square feet but with a low, low price tag of $220 a month. Spent Christmas vacation happily painting my living room, kitchen, and bathroom.

 

 

2004
Surprised Luke with a two-night bed-and-breakfast getaway in honor of his thirtieth birthday. Agreed to highlights for the first time. Introduced to Clinique through my coworker and coached on the importance of eye shadow primer. Started my first Blogger blog. Ate lunch at home more often and consequently fell into watching All My Children for the first time since my teen years. Made chicken and spaghetti. Perfected my spinach dip. Watched my sister Ryan graduate from eighth grade and brother Geo receive his junior class ring. Witnessed as Samantha was crowned Ms. Puma (my friend Jason acting as emcee for the event) accepted her elementary education degree, and embarked on a ten-day trip to Tanzania, Africa, with the college's Habitat for Humanity chapter. Participated in my own Habitat trip to Texas with Luke during Saint Joe's spring break for the magzine's spring cover story.

Wore acrylic nails with rounded tips in a variety of colors (cringe). Went to the dentist after a three-year hiatus. Extracted my wisdom teeth plus one molar, which would later be replaced with an implant. Wrote a terrible screenplay for class. Got into Sex and the City thanks to reruns on TBS. Became obsessed with Clinton and Stacy and What Not To Wear. Attended my first writers' workshop. Took a four-day trip with Luke to Philadelphia to visit friends. Cried happy tears as Dan proposed to Samantha! Began considering life after graduate school, which would end the following June. Chopped off my lusciously long hair.

 

 

2005
Celebrated the first Delurking Day. Totaled my precious Cavalier. Became engrossed in personal finance and the counsel of Suze Orman. Accepted a job offer with a company in Indianapolis, where I still work today. Involved in my second car accident in three months, this time not my fault, this time while driving my fancy new Cobalt. Purchased a bench on Saint Joe's campus and dedicated it to my parents. Moved to Indy. Earned my MA. Cohosted Samantha's wedding shower. Camped for the first time with Luke. Cancelled (gasp!) cable and went on to live without it for almost four years. 

Stood up in Dan and Samantha's wedding. Modeled in a volunteer fashion show. Moved in with Luke. Suffered the early stages of Baby Fever. Volunteered again for a dorky museum exhibit. Bought my famous Prada glasses. Started wrestling with religion. Became a mentor. Diagnosed with high cholesterol. Got engaged!

 

2006
Went off the Pill for the first time since I was 20. Shared my desire to be a stay-at-home mom. Attended a beautiful wedding shower for Luke and me. Struggled some more with religion and took communion in a Protestant church for the first time. Had the time of my life at my bachelorette party. Got married! Honeymooned in Niagara Falls. Rambled on about babies, weight loss, shoes, and my hair in too many entries to name here. Went on a newlyweds camping trip with Dan and Samantha. Cried over negative pregnancy tests even though we weren't officially Trying. Rejoiced over Luke's acceptance of an editor position with a local trade magazine after eleven months of temping.

Frequented IU's campus to visit Ryan and her high school sweetheart, Jason. Encountered a racist hair dresser. Lost my Auntie Debbie after a ten-year battle with brain cancer. Experimented with countless cookbook recipes and blogging memes. Introduced Weight Loss Wednesday. Participated in the inaugural NaBloPoMo, through which Tragic Love Friday was born. Hosted a cheesy love song CD swap with Dawnie. Unveiled my TypePad blog with a shiny new URL.

 

2007
Began attending an Episcopalian church. Saw Jerry Seinfeld with Luke. Debated moving closer to Chicago to be near friends and family. Embraced obsession with Howie Mandel and Deal or No Deal. Passed my first pregnancy test. Took a babymoon with Luke to Mackinac Island. Accepted a short-term teaching gig with Saint Joe covering Blogging 101 for mostly unenthusiastic undergrads. Started blogging for Parents.com, where I wrote "Parental Discretion Advised" for two years. Had a blast at BlogHer in Chicago. Posted the final entry to lil' Frema's TLF. Attended Luke's and my baby shower. Took a scary trip to the ER. Cried over missing Ryan and Jason's whirlwind wedding before he left for Army training. Paid off the Cobalt. Saw Tori Amos in concert for the second time. Gave birth to a daughter.

   

2008
Spent the first two months of the year on maternity leave. Struggled with nursing. Baptised Kara. Discovered LOST. Went back to work. Struggled again with finding my groove as a working mom. Took a break from the Internet. Came back and retired all the weeklies that had gone from fun to forced (hasta la vista, Weight Loss Wednesday). "Fell pregnant" again (whoopsie!). Met my adorable baby nephew. Published one of lil' Frema's poems. Bought a house. Documented sweet baby Marin's first hours in the world. Had another scary trip to the ER. Bid Ryan and Jason farewell as they moved to an Army base in Germany. Bought a new (used) family car.

Even with all the wonderful things that happened that year, I wasn't sorry to see 2008 come to an end. Never underestimate the difficulty of first-year parenting combined with a surprise second pregnancy and the joy that is first-time home buying. I've never felt less grounded or so not myself in all my life.

2009
(Mostly copied from the New Year's Q&A I posted at the beginning of the month.)
Gave birth to a baby boy. Ran my first 5K. Celebrated one-year of homeownership, three years of marriage, and five years of blogging. Bought a double stroller. Freaked out over a Gymboree class. Experienced the joy of DVR recording. Bought Spanx (which fits much better these days, thank you very much). Opened a Roth IRA for Luke. Left my children with a baby-sitter who wasn't a family member. Saw Billy Joel and Elton John in concert for the first time in eight years. Started drinking coffee (and I have totally given in to Starbucks). 

Was laid off (freelance-wise). Took a baby on an overnight trip all by myself. Joined Twitter and Facebook. Signed up for a half-marathon. Ran a trail race. Received a parent's introduction to Noggin (now Nick Jr.) and the joy that is Max and Ruby. Showered in a gym locker room. Found balance in my role as a working mom with two children. Applauded as my favorite little nephew turned one. Baptised Nathan. Sobbed as my firstborn daughter turned two.

 

We're going to make it after all.

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So, there you have it, the highlights of my twenties, mostly containing life-changing events, fundamental self-discovery, and heaping doses of self-doubt. Here's to a decade of growing more comfortable in my own skin (thankfully this has already started) and pushing limits I haven't even dreamed of yet.

Thirties, bring it on.

Comments

[Maggie]

Ah - I enjoyed reading about your twenties and learning more about you before I started reading your blog! I'm sure your 30's will be a different kind of awesome!

[rkmama]

Um, wow. I loved this. I've read through some of your archives but never had time to get your full story- thanks for the cliff note version!

[AJU5's Mom]

Since I only started reading your blogs about 2 years ago, this was a kind of cool way to know some of the background! And being 30 isn't bad. Although, I really don't feel this old...

[Kathleen]

GREAT! now I have to copy this one too. :) LOL! Looks like you've had a nice full life - here's many more decades!

[Jen L.]

If you ever wonder why you're one of my favorite people, remember that you once used the phrase "Fell pregnant again" in a blog post and that should about sum it up.

You certainly jam-packed a lot of livin' into your 20's! Here's to another great decade. Thanks for letting us all come along for the ride.

[Trilby]

Look out 30's! :)

[debi]

I love your style. You are the first blog I ever read and had no clue what a Blog even was. You have shared so many wonderful moments of your life with us all that I feel like we are old friends. Can you imagine Kara and Nathan reading this when they are your age? How special and wonderful.Thank you. You keep writing and I will keep reading. I have to add that one of my favorite things here was and still is TLF. I think you had a wee bit more time back then. Gosh you had us all hanging on by our teeth waiting to find out what was going to happen. Ah, was it really that long ago?

[eva]

Awesome post - thanks for all the info! Makes me nostalgic. Kudos for getting such a mega-project completed too, I would never have the patience for all those links!

Oh and I loved the chunky loafers in 2000...I used to wear those things all the time! Brings back memories.

Have you watched season five of Lost yet? YOU MUST! We just finished. So so worth the big time suckage/investment.

[DaddyD]

I am so glad to be a part of that ten years. They have been a real joy for me to watch and see the developments. Grandkids and the rest have added to life's positive side. As always, good job.

[Molly]

I love this!!

How great it has been, especially through reading your thoughts as it all unfolds, to have blogged the last five of it. Also, I loved seeing the picture of you and Luke at your SJC graduation, and then seeing the two of you now, at the end. You have so much to be proud of, with your relationship, your kids, your career and your personal development.