How Useless Clutter Changed My Life

The Moving Day, it has been set. On Saturday, September 17, Luke and I will officially be living in sin. Exciting! Seriously, though, my stomach is starting to flutter at the idea of being able to see the love of my life every day. And in a city with more than one zip code! We'll go out for coffee and get joint memberships at Cardinal Fitness and snuggle up on the couch after a hard day's work and fall asleep in each other's arms. No more jumping onto I-65 at 5:00 p.m. on Friday to be in Rensselaer by dinnertime. Gone will be the days of an extra bottle of contact solution at his place and extra pairs of his socks at mine.

When I first started spreading the news, I was so bogged down imagining everyone's opinion that I didn't give myself permission to be happy. Now, that's all I can think about. The very first day I met Luke, I knew he was someone special. And as we got to know each other, I learned he had all the qualities I'd been searching for in a man: he loved his parents and had a wonderful relationship with them; he believed in God and the importance of being a good person; he was funny; he didn't judge; he was kind. And I was hooked.

In the more than four years that we've been together, we've had problems. Of course we have. But as each obstacle stared us in the face, we didn't back down and refused to give up. And he has never seen me for anyone other than who I am. The biggest reason my past relationships failed was that those guys never really GOT me. They weren't horrible people; they were just less interested in who I was and more concerned with what my persona had to offer. And I had a few of them. There was Savior Frema, who made numerous attempts to rescue a person who barely gave her the time of day, someone who went MIA for days and even weeks at a time and stole from her workplace and lied about cheating on her and then had the audacity to tell her that her morals were outdated. There was also Trophy Frema, the girlfriend who smiled a lot and always did her hair and hung out with the boys and at 20 years old did the best she could to appear adult to men who saved up for comic books instead of down payments. In both scenarios, she was almost always on edge, always afraid that one day she would slip up and be unmasked as the fraud she really was.

With Luke, I can be me. It's OK to burp and fart and laugh through my nose and cry with my whole heart. He sees me in my favorite lounger capris and still calls me pretty. He thinks it's cute that I still get excited about bunnies and ice cream. When we go out to eat, he always asks if I want to get the spinach dip appetizer, even if he's not in the mood. When my feet are sore from wearing high heels for ten hours, he'll carry me to my car (or at least halfway; light as a feather I am not, people). I have never before experienced a love like this.

But most importantly... he has NEVER stolen Pokemon cards or cash from my place of employment. That alone gives me hope for our future.

Comments

[Steve]

So now the Lab is offering Pokemon Cards? "With every ten urine tests get free Pokemon cards!"

[Anonymous]

Frema baby (Ms Frema if you're nasty) you find your way and make your happines as you always do.

I do believe in parental karma... What you give or do to your parents -- pride, joy, love and the occassional disappointment -- will come back your way with your lil' ones. My personal cosmic assessment? I don't believe this change of living arrangements will doom the fate of the future lil' fremas. -- Di :)

[PaintingChef]

I'm so happy for you both! Living in different can be so stressful, Patrick and lived 5 hours apart for a while and that? Was WRETCHED. Isn't it fantastic to finally find someone you can burp and fart in front of?

[Luke]

Actually, I never even owned Pokemon cards at all, ill-gotten or otherwise.

[Isabel]

This is a sweet post. And look at how far you guys have come since this!!