I was reading through older entries this morning and found that I had blogged exactly one year ago today. It's a sad little entry, one in which I talk about not fitting in with my graduate-school classmates because I lived so far away from campus. Now, on October 21, 2005, I realized that I'm going through the same thing all over again, only this time I'm striving to forge a relationship with Indianapolis. As much as I love the activity, the possiblities of being in a metropolitan area, I still don't feel quite at home. I still have many of the issues I faced in Rensselaer: I can't see my parents after a long day of work. No after-dinner drinks with lifelong friends, friends who I haven't lived in the same zip code with for eight years. No lazy Saturday breakfasts with my sister, unless I drive for three hours the night before. Though I try to stay connected as best I can with phone calls and visits, it's not the same as being around every day.
Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking when I agreed to move another hour-and-a-half away from the support group I love so much. If I had held out a little longer, I might have landed a job at Brookfield Zoo, a job that totally would have kicked @$$. I wonder what life would have been like for me then. I would have been surrounded by friends and family and felt a little more at ease with only seeing Luke on the weekends. We probably would've waited until marriage to live together. I know that would have pleased my mother.
But moving to this city has served as a catalyst for the progress of Luke's and my relationship in a way that Chicago never could. If I hadn't moved here, he would still be working at the Rensselaer newspaper, and we would still be waiting for that "perfect" moment to start our lives together. This move has allowed both of us to stretch our limits as individuals and unearth our true possibilities as a couple. It's been hard, and there are days when we both feel angry, taken for granted, out of place with ourselves. However, when we're tucked into bed, he opens his arms to me and allows my head to rest on his shoulder, signaling that we've made it through another day. That alone makes Indianapolis good for something.
I think Indianapolis would be a better place to raise children and it's cheaper then Chicago. If Matt didn't have a good job here I would like to move to Indiana
Posted by: Brooke | October 21, 2005 at 12:42 PM
Its that moment at the end of the day that makes wherever you are home. I find the same thing to be true living in Augusta away from everyone I've ever loved except for the one I've loved the most.
Posted by: PaintingChef | October 21, 2005 at 01:32 PM
You know, we've really kind of mirrored each other in the way our lives have gone since finishing at St. Joe. Granted, you got a masters in the meantime...but we both have moved away from what our comfort zones are. Ironically, mine was Indy, and now I'm in Chicago...go figure.
Posted by: David McNelis | October 21, 2005 at 01:37 PM
When I moved to M-ville to live with Miles, I thought that this was the end of the world. You know the very edge right before the sea monsters. The distant place from home (Fort Wayne) had no sidewalks, street lights, bookstores, or other signs of cultural civilization. But, here I am 40 years later, still in M-ville and still with Miles. Luckily, there are bookstores as well as theaters here now. Additionally, although our family lives elsewhere, we do have friends here in Merrillville. And, the world is not flat afterall so we will not be eaten by any sea monsters.
Posted by: Molly | October 21, 2005 at 06:53 PM
I know it's hard for you to be away my darling sister. You have accomplished so much at such a young age and we're all SOOOO proud of you. When I get a car that can drive for more than 5 consecutives miles without dying out, I WILL come and visit you. I love you Nootch.
Posted by: Sambo V. | October 22, 2005 at 09:58 PM
OK, Painting Chef's comment rocks. I've mentioned being in Boston for a few years right after Joe and I got married. It was the best thing we'd ever done for our relationship. And mind you, we'd been a couple for about eight years prior to making the move. Together you are creating your own way. And the creative process is NOT a simple one.
Posted by: Number Twelve | October 23, 2005 at 12:49 PM
Well, that would make anywhere good for something.
Posted by: Luke | October 23, 2005 at 10:26 PM
Give Indianpolis time. It really is an enchanting city when you get to know it.
Posted by: Anonymous | October 24, 2005 at 10:34 PM