Guess Who Doesn't Want To Come To Dinner

There are advantages to being a twenty-something professional. You are admired for your spunk and ambition. Your superiors become infatuated with your bright-eyed optimism and determination to take the job to the next level. Sometimes they say pearls like, "Yours was the smartest hire I ever made." And you offer a serene but confident smile and say thank you, because, well, that's a nice thing to say. Unfortunately, there are also drawbacks, which I'm reminded of when sharing meals with vendors, clients, and other contacts who are significantly older than you but required by law to treat you as an equal.

Case in point: Yesterday I attended a press check for our testing directory with my printer rep, and the two of us were invited to lunch by the person in charge of my company's account. This man was in his fifties and had been in the printing business for thirty-two years, something that provided a lot of common ground for him and my rep and no common ground for either of them with me. It's like I was an eight-year-old girl in pig tails and the printer rep was my dad and it was his weekend with me and there were no coloring books and crayons with which to entertain me and what else can a divorced dad do but take his kid out for lunch with one of the boys?

However, the man did inquire about my hobbies and remark that I probably didn't have any knowledge of the linotype because it was around before I was born. "You're making me feel old," he said, laughing at what was obviously witty and insightful commentary on his part.

"You're making me feel young," I replied.

Truth was, I didn't know what a linotype was until two seconds ago, but really, what gives him the right to make any assumptions on the depth of my knowledge about the printing industry?

Upon further reflection, I'm thinking maybe it was the Gryffindor scarf I sported during my trip and the fact that I ordered french fries with my chicken strips. But if THAT'S the reason, then that's discrimination against Harry Potter and carbohydrates, and I think that's just sick.

Right now I'm still at work, biding my time until the clock hits seven and I can journey into downtown for yet another business meal, this time with my boss, our lab director, sales rep, and the editor-in-chief of the magazine I wrote for back in June. I'm working on a second article, and I've never met the editor, so I can see the value of my presence, but the conversation will likely focus on the significance of X and Y in the Z study we're doing, and I'll be of no real use to anyone. I'm bringing my Where's Waldo? book for intellectual stimulation that's more on my level. Just in case.

Comments

[Number Twelve]

God do I feel for you!!! They just want you to listen and comment on how smart they all are. They'll LOVE you! And then they'll ask to borrow your Where's Waldo. :-) You're too freakin' fun.

Oh here's some great laboratory humor that for some reason I acutally think is funny. Maybe because it's so unbelievably dorky: "What's the quickest way for a communications director to get fired? Agree with all the suggestions made when you run a spell check on the company's testing directory." Good stuff, Frema. Hang in there!!!!

[Number Twelve]

Oh, and we're LONG overdue for a chat. I'm DYING to "hear" how the press check went. 1) I'll call when the gauze is no longer in my mouth and 2) I switch all my phone numbers into my new phone! (no more dropped calls??!!!)

[Frema]

You brave woman, you! Hope you're not in too much pain.

[Mark]

So...where was Waldo?

[Luke]

I doubt that guy even realized you were wearing a Harry Potter scarf and just noticed the bright colors. Ooo, pretty!

And Mark, if she told you were Waldo was, that would be cheating.

[Liz]

Frema, I used to get that a lot. STILL get it, sometimes.

At one of my first jobs I had co-workers who always made comments about how young I was, and it really bothered me. We were celebrating my birthday in a staff meeting one day. Someone made a snide comment about my youth (I was around 22 but they didn't know my exact age). I said, "I'm so happy about this birthday! Finally I'll be able to vote!"

They stared open-mouthed as I walked out of the room. I laughed inside myself for the rest of the day. I know they were all dying to ask me if I was really 18. ;-)

[Will Shannon]

Business lunches are always more of a chore than anything else.

I agree with Luke in the fact that the guy probably had no idea what the scarf meant. Hell, I would have had no idea, for my inner child is dead. But I digress...

I have been through these things in business and in academia and I have to say that academics are in a way worse.

They already know each other's credentials and c.v., but they feel like they have to constantly carp at each other, making the lunch a one-upsmanship festival.

As a lowly peon graduate student, I am required to sit there with requisite awe and wonder as these people bicker.

Honestly, academics are a lot like little children. They all think they are right, they talk over each other and refuse to budge on anything. They can never come to a decision on anything.

In closing, I feel for you. Nothing turns my stomach like a prolonged, uncomfortable encounter with your "betters."

Stay strong, Puma sister.

[Sambo V.]

The old geezers just felt inadequate and threw around the lingo to make you feel like an ass or to try to make themselves feel smart. We all know the truth, which is that you're fabulous!

[Tommy]

Hey, next time you encounter the "Oh, you're probably too young to know as much as I do..."

just make sure to ask questions like,
"Does your doctor allow you to eat solid?"

"Are you still mad that Matlock was canceled?"

"Did you know that Soylent green is made out of people? It's People!!"

[Your Devoted Readers]

Frema please come back to us we would like to know what is new with you.