The plate you see above has served as the answer to my china-resistant prayers. Turns out that Luke's grandma had earmarked her darling twelve-piece collection to him months ago, before the two of us were even engaged. I called my aunt tonight to give her the wonderful news, and she said that's wonderful, and isn't it nice that we're inheriting a wonderful family heirloom, and she would buy us something else equally wonderful. Everybody wins.
In a perfect world, after the wedding, Luke and I could store this china ourselves. Having room for delicate serving ware would mean that we've moved into our first house, a house boasting of spacious closets and a basement for storage and a backyard. It'd mean we worked extremely hard to save for a twenty-percent down payment and a few nice things to make the place ours. We'd have the proper accommodations for a dog. We'd have room for a baby.
But right now, we live in a one-bedroom apartment. Our only storage facility is adjacent to our balcony and already filled to the brim with tupperware containers stuffed with holiday decorations, photo albums, movies we don't have the appropriate shelving to display, and our modest little barbeque grill. My home office is the space behind the TV, and our kitchen table is about five feet to the right of that. And it's going to stay this way until June 30th, at which time my lease on this place ends and we'll have made a decision on where to live next. It might be a neighborhood in which we contemplate buying property; it might be a trendy hot spot that will help us celebrate our last child-free hurrah.
The only thing we know for sure is it won't be a house. As it is, we're stretching ourselves to afford this wedding, and now I can't believe I spent the last few weeks telling everyone and their mother that our goal was to move right into a house, when really it was my goal, because dammit, I want a sense of permanency and a real home office and a place for this beautiful china and my God, I want room for a baby.
It's when stuck in such self-manifested crises that I most appreciate my husband-to-be, because Luke has calmly brought me back to Earth with the realization that life will not end if we spend another year in an apartment. After taking a minute to absorb that life-altering pearl, I decided it'd be kinda nice to spend the next twelve months just settling in and enjoying our new marital status. I want to get a new pair of shoes from Baker's without feeling guilty that I'm spending our mortgage money. I want to see a movie at the show more than once a season, and I want grab the good contact lens solution at Target. Besides, if we can hoard several thousand dollars in five months for a wedding, imagine if we took double that to save for the house that will symbolize our first step towards making a family.
In other words, I'm chilling the eff out. My brain feels much more awake. And that? Feels refreshingly nice.
First of all this, was really well written. And you have reaffirmed my belief in everyday miracles. I am so happy for you and Luke... not everyone has found their "penguin." And 20% down a good idea, but not a necessity. Just so you know.
Posted by: Number Twelve | January 18, 2006 at 03:00 PM
And maybe we can plan a rafting trip in there somewhere, too. Who knows?
Posted by: Luke | January 18, 2006 at 03:20 PM
Frema, I got my own place without 20% down I'm single with a child, plus I'm a teacher! You and Luke can do it too, it's doable!
Posted by: butterflygirl | January 18, 2006 at 04:10 PM
I love love love your china! I'm keeping you in my prayers because I cannot imagine planning a wedding & know that I would be about a million times more stressed out than you are! I hope your plan to chill out works!! :)
Posted by: Kayte Marie | January 18, 2006 at 06:50 PM
Pretty! And nice that it belonged to Luke's grandma. :)
Posted by: Liz | January 18, 2006 at 07:50 PM
Having a plan or a goal is good. If you redefine the goal or plan, that is indeed a practical approach to life. I admire the way that you two think things through; and then, you are willing and able to rethink matters.
Posted by: Molly | January 18, 2006 at 08:03 PM
We've been going through the same thing, in terms of wanting a home (not so much the baby part yet, that is all you hun). We 'planned' to spend our first anniversary in our own condo. Earlier this month the reality set in that we'll be 3/4s of the way to our 2nd anniversary before we own a place....we hope at least ;)
And congrats on the EASY china solution.
Posted by: David McNelis | January 18, 2006 at 08:29 PM
Your china is beautiful...and how very special to be from Luke's gramma! That's great!
I should be the last person to advise you on this as I got married right out of college and impatiently had my first child in just my second year of teaching...but take it a step at a time with the wedding, house, babies, etc. Time FLIES, and I promise it will be no time at all before you have not only your first baby, but also your last, and feel like the most blessed mama on the planet as you and Luke kiss them goodnight and they profess their love for you. (And then they will spit water all over their jammas and beds...haha!)
Posted by: molly ray | January 19, 2006 at 01:40 AM
Hey I'm married, have a two year old, baby number 2 on the way and live in an apartment. I would love to have a yard for the kids to run in, have my own washer& dryer and have a dog. But being in an apartment is not the worst thing that can happen to you. At least you have a roof over your head and you can cuddle up with a man that loves you!
PS I will tell you later why I have not been able to blog
Posted by: Brooke | January 19, 2006 at 06:17 AM
I'm happy that you're happy with your decision sister. I know that you and Luke are very smart and everything will piece together, as it always does. You two really have things together. ;)
Posted by: Sambo V. | January 19, 2006 at 10:11 PM
Time moves into the future. Time is change and thereby, new and different arrangements happen all along. With your brains all of the plans will come together. Just keep working on the process.
Love and joy are yours.
Daddy D.
Posted by: Anonymous | January 19, 2006 at 11:53 PM
Listen to your father in law.
He sounds like a wonderful wise man.
good advice daddy d
Posted by: auntie betty | January 20, 2006 at 06:09 PM
Apparently, you won't be eating too many slices of bacon on the heirloom china.
Posted by: Anonymous | January 21, 2006 at 11:58 AM
You know, you really should not just use the China for "special" occasions". Good things are meant to be used now and something so pretty needs to be celebrated. There's a sappy story about some woman who waited to wear her fancy lingerie and then when she was going to wear it for her hubby, he died in a plane accident...
Posted by: Sambo V. | January 21, 2006 at 12:10 PM
What pretty china! Very lovely!
Posted by: Janet | January 21, 2006 at 07:07 PM