Because Luke's birthday dinner on Tuesday seemed to go well, I thought I'd go all out and play chef two days in a row. The main course? Spaghetti. I know, I know--the possibilities with my Betty Crocker cookbook are endless.
Though I've made pasta several times before, I screw it up approximately 78.6 percent of the time because of the fact that I never remember the temperature at which the noodles need to cook. I always think I'm supposed to bring the water to a boil but then reduce it to a simmer once it's time to add the actual food. In every instance I think, this time will be different, this time I've finally got the steps down, this time there's no need to verify my course of action with the back of the spaghetti box. And in every instance, I produce a lump of noodles that give the illusion of being appropriately prepared but actually bear an uncanny match in taste and texture to the individual straw units that compose a barrel of hay. We should've just thrown the stuff straight from the pot to our front lawn and raced to see who could execute the best dive.
Luke and I made it through a collective seven forkfuls before scraping our plates into the garbage disposal. Later when I inquired about the pasta's chances of making a suitable lunch, he thought there was a good chance it'd be just fine, as sitting in the sauce overnight just might be the ticket to appeasing the taste bud gods.
At 11:36 a.m. I learned that the pasta was not just fine. I learned that if it tastes like straw on Wednesday, it'll taste like straw on Thursday, too.
This time I only got through two forkfuls before I raised a white flag and clung to the nutritional value of my Fig Newton two-pack and Capri Sport Ice Berry juice box. However, I was eating at my desk and couldn't bring myself to just throw the spaghetti away, what with all the starving children in third-world countries and not wanting to be labeled Messy and Wasteful by the man who changes my trash liner. So I packed everything up again with the intention of sending all the little noodles back to that great big pasta box in the sky later that night.
And it would've worked, too, if I'd actually remembered to accompany my lunch bag to the car. I'm taking a vacation day tomorrow and shudder to think what I might return to on Monday. Mice? Mold? Place your bets and freak out accordingly.
MMMMMMMMMM!
Maybe you should just throw that container straight in the trash, or have a bottle of bleach on hand when you take the lid off.
Posted by: Luke | February 17, 2006 at 10:40 AM
EEEK! Mold for sure. I agree with Luke, throw the container away.
Once when we were first married I invited my M-I-L over for dinner & tried to impress her with from scratch chicken noodle soup. What I failed to realize was that you had to BOIL the noodles before tossing them in the crock pot. It was seriously like eating baby food. Nasty smushy gooey egg noodle baby food.
I give you an A+ for effort though. :0)
Posted by: Lost a Sock | February 17, 2006 at 12:48 PM
HA! Funny. I've seemed to manage cooking the noodles but the sauce, the sauce is another story. Not to mention the competition I have....my mother-in-law! She was born in Italy and makes her own sauce from scratch and it's SO good but I could NEVER duplicate it b/c she's all, "oh, it's simply, a dash of this, a pinch of that....."
I don't understand or comprehend that kind of cook talk.
Posted by: Hilary | February 17, 2006 at 12:55 PM
John taught me how to cook a lot. He said that the trick to cooking pasta is to start of with warm water and throw in a 1/2 tsp of salt. When the water starts to boil throw the pasta in. Just keep your eye on it, stir it every so often and test the noodles a few times. A way to test the noodles if you think they might only need a few extra mintute, which those extra minutes could make those mushy noodles, is to take one noodle out and toss it at the wall, if it sticks it is done :o) Then drain the noodles and rinse with cool water this will make the noodle from cooking anyfurther. I guess if you do not rinse the noodles with cool water they can continue to cook while sitting in the strainer and then they can become mushy.
When you go back to work Monday take your stuff and just throw it away in someone else garbage can! Or hopefully the nice garbage guy seen it on your desk and tossed it.
Posted by: Brooke | February 17, 2006 at 02:12 PM
your noodle boiling instructions sound like those for mac and cheese- the inexpensive meal of choice for college students. the instructions should be universal... boil yadda yadda, then clip open this pack of sauce included in the box, and stir- there you have it, spaghetti. no? :)
Posted by: A Light in the Attic | February 17, 2006 at 02:28 PM
I would greatly disagree with the rinsing of the noodles with cool water. All that will do is make you pasta cool down faster.
When cooking in the boiling water the pasta is re-hydrating and absorbing water. If it cooks too long in the boiling water it will absorb too much water and become mushy. If you follow the rest of Brooke's instructions and drain when the pasta seems the right consistency you won't have any problems with mushy noodles.
I also used to think that running the cool water over the noodles was a good idea as well....to keep them from sticking together, but as it turns out thats not the case at all. If you want the noodles to not stick together, add a little bit of olive oil to the boiling water before adding your pasta. The one downside to this, it also keeps the sauce from sticking to the noodles...so if you are like me, and like lots of sauce on your noodles, its not going to work for you.
Another thing you can do to keep the noodles from sticking together is to throw the noodles (post-draining) into the pot with the sauce and stir, you get pretty even sauce distribution...but it doesn't leave any room for someone that doesn't like sauce to take less, or vise-versa.
Posted by: David McNelis | February 17, 2006 at 03:09 PM
Rinsing them in cool water does cool the pasta down but it also helps prevent it from cooking any further. The noodles are still so hot that they continue to cook even out of the boiling water. The out side noodles not so much but all the ones in the middle do because the heat is trapped in the middle. They teach you that in cooking school. The cool water does not prevent them from sticking together, put a tiny bit of oil in them like David said.
Posted by: Brooke | February 17, 2006 at 03:40 PM
And once you have kids, and they're let's say three yrs old and you put forth an honest effort to put together a meal, you'll get "Eewww!!!! This is YUCK-ie, MOM-mie!"
But, I guess that's what you should expect from a child who practically got a parade in her honor for putting her ka-ka in the potty.
Posted by: Number Twelve | February 17, 2006 at 04:18 PM
For a pretty good guide on pasta cooking practices and the reasons for doing so, Whole Foods has a decent article here.
Posted by: David McNelis | February 17, 2006 at 08:42 PM
You'll get it eventually.
Posted by: butterflygirl | February 18, 2006 at 01:30 AM
Your mom almost failed foods class in high school and she got it together. It takes time.
Posted by: auntie betty | February 19, 2006 at 04:29 PM
mmmmmmmm mold..... Don't even peek.
Send it right off to tuperware heaven!
I give a big A+ for trying. Don't give up. You'll get it!
Posted by: Twins x two | February 20, 2006 at 11:50 AM
Well, it is Monday. What is the Bahsketti report?
Posted by: Molly | February 20, 2006 at 07:36 PM
Dun, dun, dun....hope you didn't come back to mold today at work. Sorry I've been slacking on reading, I feel in an internet kinda slump.
Posted by: Sambo V. | February 21, 2006 at 02:16 AM
where are you frema?
You have plenty to talk about, how much fun registering was.
Posted by: Anonymous | February 22, 2006 at 04:56 AM
Frema, where are you? You didn't eat the moldy spaghetti did you?
Posted by: molly | February 22, 2006 at 10:12 AM