Every Thursday at work, the lab and non-lab employees are united by one common goal: corporate take-out.
Every Thursday between the hours of eight and ten-thirty, approximately thirty orders are placed for foodie no-nos like high-school style pepperoni pizza, barbequed ribs, quarter pounders with cheese, beef manhattans, and chicken fried steak sandwiches with patties equivalent to the circumference of a basketball with some local diner-food type place. By noon, the guilty-pleasure goodness arrives in droves, each order protected by the sanctity of a styrofoam doggie-bag, and the smells permeate the entire building, announcing its presence better than a loudspeaker page ever could.
I rarely wait until noon to eat--I've usually started munching on the pretzel logs or fruit snacks meant to accompany a sandwich by nine--but yesterday when the clock struck twelve I was feasting over Campbell's Homestyle Chicken Noodle Soup in the break room with a colleague who recently graduated from my last place of employment and just might be my only work friend. Anyway, it was me and my soup and Marissa and her tuna and we could do nothing but salivate over the greasy deliciousness surrounding us on both sides. When lunch was over, I was still hungry, and wondered what harm there would be in dashing over to the nearest White Castle to order a cheeseburger. There's only about a pinky finger's worth of meat on those damn things and the price of one could be paid for with the pennies in my pocketbook. How bad could that be?
Somehow I resisted the urge, and fought the bad voices again when I just happened to pass the vending machine that I didn't just happen to pass at all, because it's actually nowhere near my cubicle, but I still managed to hit C5 for Rold Golds instead of D3 for the Snickers I really wanted.
Since I was informed of my slightly high cholesterol in December, Luke and I have done a good job of keeping healthier foods in the house. We bake instead of fry the majority of our meals, and he makes a special point to include some sort of fruit or vegetable with dinner, something we weren't so good about before. But it's been really hard, and today it hit me how just much pleasure I get from the act of eating. I may not like a lot of stuff, but if I enjoy something, it's hard to digest it in moderation. A half-gallon of ice cream doesn't stand a chance in our freezer because I'll smush seven scoops' worth into each bowl I have. The idea of spinach dip as merely an appetizer is a foreign concept to me, and I'll eat it until the gas bubble in my stomach says it's time to head to the bathroom. Bacon isn't a side; it's the stuff that the best of sandwiches are made of, sandwiches that I don't bother to clutter with lettuce or tomato because they get in the way of the bacony goodness and besides I don't like lettuce.
I was supposed to have a cholesterol follow-up last Friday but cancelled it because of some glitches with my new HSA; now I've got another week and a half to make even more of an effort to cleanse my body of all the fatty foods I stuffed myself with prior to Christmas. I've heard from countless individuals about how just adding oatmeal to my diet should do the trick, but never in my life have I tasted such a heavy, lumpy, tasteless food, no matter how many spoons of cinnamon sugar are shoveled in there. Luckily, God invented Cheerios, which I like just fine, and we've drastically cut down on our meals out, but I'm still scared to see the results. Not because I'm afraid I'll die a premature, artery-clogged death, but because if it hasn't gone down, my doctor will propose medicine, which will lower my cholesterol but also eliminate any immediate plans to get pregnant, and while we're not trying now, we will sometime, whether it be in January 2007 or this August or at the Lees Inn at eleven fifty-seven p.m. on the night of May 12. Anyway, I don't want us to put off our hopes for a baby because the new Mrs. Fatty McFatterson (yes, I'm keeping my name) (no I'm not but I don't want you to think I'm implying Luke is MR. McFatterson) can't keep her damn hands off the Breyer's. Definitely good motivation.
But it's hard just the same.
Remember no matter the total of the cholesterol, it is the HDL and LDL individual numbers that count. H should be high and L should be low. Also, do not take one doctor's opinion. Some doctor's believe it or not, do not always have your best interest at heart. Many are knowingly or unwittingly dishing out Rx's due to some pharmaceutical rep and study that they want to have more participants for. I know a number of people in both sides of these professions. If he even considers after just a few months of dishing out some drugs, head for the nearest exit and just say no! There is a need for some to have Rx's, but you are not one of those yet. Sorry, I am handing out that ole' a** advice that I like to avoid, well at least on-line.
Posted by: PJ Librarian | February 10, 2006 at 10:47 PM
Sorry, more a** advice comments.
P.S. It takes more than a few months to see or at times achieve immediate results, so don't let the doc pressure other wise. Also your total isn't considered very high yet for medication according to http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=3035374#Reducebloodcholesterol , http://nhlbisupport.com/chd1/other_rf.htm
Posted by: PJ Librarian | February 10, 2006 at 10:59 PM
Hot sausage and mustard.
Nice entry Frema, somehow you make even serious topics like cholesterol seem funny.
Posted by: Molly J | February 11, 2006 at 03:07 AM
M and I usually have a pretty healthy diet (aside from the wine- heh), but you gotta splurge sometimes.
We splurged last night by sharing a bloomin' onion. And also a bottle of merlot. Oof. Not feelin' so good today. ;-)
Posted by: Liz | February 11, 2006 at 03:51 PM
We've talked about this before. I still have about six weeks before my check-up and there are just times when I have to indulge. If we ever get together I will make you some oatmeal.
Posted by: butterflygirl | February 12, 2006 at 12:18 AM
Speaking as a gourmand and an epicurian (read: weighs 320 pounds), I feel that there is nothing wrong with a little indulgence.
Given the sorry state of the world, the wintry economic climate (even for the highly educated, the falling dollar and foreign outsourcing, what's the harm in a bit of a slap-up binge?
Having said that, I am off the the all you can eat for $5 Chinese buffet. They depend on me to help pay their gas bill.
Posted by: Will Shannon | February 12, 2006 at 08:58 PM
I'm afraid to even HAVE my cholesterol checked in the first place, I think!
FYI - my uncle eats red meat, pizza, italian sausage, chocolate like CRAZY, but eats a bowl of oatmeal everyday for breakfast and his is normal. But I'm with you - I hate the lumpy stuff!
Posted by: Jenabeeb | February 13, 2006 at 03:25 AM
If the meal was free at work, I would make that my cheat day. Just don't over eat.
Posted by: auntie betty | February 13, 2006 at 12:56 PM
All right I won't try to persuade you on the oatmeal, though the maple and brown sugar is de-licious, but mad props to you for your discipline on take out day. I could never... ;0)
Posted by: Lost a Sock | February 13, 2006 at 01:56 PM
Just thought of something. Do oatmeal raisin cookies count? How 'bout Young's Oatmeal Stout?
God, I hope so.
Posted by: Will Shannon | February 13, 2006 at 03:09 PM
I should not talk, but..... I do know from personal experiences that if you are wanting to have a baby sometime in the near future, your pregnancy will go much smoother if you are health. Just a little FYI. Good luck with the oatmeal!
Posted by: Twins x two | February 13, 2006 at 07:38 PM
Your wanting a baby will give you the will power to make healthy choices. Just remember why your doing it and that healthy eating is a lifestyle and should NOT be taken with a diet attitude. ;)
Posted by: Sambo V. | February 14, 2006 at 03:12 AM
Good for you for trying to eat better.
Personally...I can't stop eating Hostess Lemon Pies...because they are yummy!
Posted by: Isabel | February 14, 2006 at 04:27 PM
It's that old hoary chestnut...the more you tell yourself you can't have something - the more you go crazy thinking about it and craving it. Everything in moderation - even oatmeal - is the key :)
Good luck with the test!
Posted by: verniciousknids | February 19, 2006 at 11:19 AM
I agree that trying to "healthy up" indulgences like bacon sandwiches, or (especially) pizza by adding vegetables is the worst. They totally ruin the enjoyment and don't add that much nutrition.
My system is, if I know I'm going to want pizza (or similar) later in the day, I'll have a head of broccoli for breakfast. I figure it all averages out. And then I remind myself that pizza is full of calcium and lycopene.
Oatmeal is much better if you add salt as well as brown sugar. And less leaden if you dice up an apple in there, too. It's also easier to avoid the munchies if you're getting enough protein.
Posted by: Squisita | November 15, 2006 at 08:43 PM
Somebody told me once that one of the healthier things you can get at a fast food place is Wendy's chili. Because they make it by crumbling up each day's leftover burgers and HOSING THEM DOWN before mixing them into the sauce.
Posted by: Squisita | November 15, 2006 at 08:47 PM