It's because of posts like this that you'd think the concept had already taken hold in my brain, that my babble about being a good mom and wanting to shower love on my children would be the second realization, not the first. But no. It wasn't until Samantha confirmed the date for my bachelorette party that I thought, "Oh. My. God." Apparently the promise of dancing and alcohol was enough to stir my deepest fears.
I'm getting married.
Hear that? MARRIED. I'm going to be somebody's wife, which means wedding rings and joint tax returns and amended prefixes and a new last name and thank-you cards for gifts signed from the new Mr. and Mrs. and also, did I mention I'll be somebody's wife?
It's not like I never understood that life was going to change. I've been counting on it. I'm excited for the dreams that Luke and I have to finally come to fruition. It just never seemed real until now, and now it's so real it's scary. And laughable, if you think about it. I'm brought to tears if my VCR skips an AMC episode. I'm not very good at loading the dishwasher after dinner, even though Luke's the one who cooks and it's an unwritten law that the cook never cleans up his own mess. I don't know how to change fuses. I'm scared of ducks. And this morning I was speeding on 465 South and ended up skidding into a half-circle to avoid smashing the bumper of the car in front of me on the exit ramp. Have I not learned anything? What the hell business do I have being somebody's other half?
All of this is inspiring a genuine excitement for my bachelorette party, as I'm beginning to grasp what the night will mean for me. For example, I will salute the many accomplishments once tackled as a Smug Singleton, including but not limited to:
- Working through an undying love for Randy Wooten via symbolic and moving verse.
- Penning a riveting New Kids On the Block three-part series.
- Memorizing the words to all the singles released by Wilson Phillips.
- Finishing Flowers in the Attic before I entered seventh grade.
- Earning dough by rolling pretzels (pun TOTALLY intended) at Navy Pier.
- Catching the eye of the guy who ran the Ferris Wheel at Navy Pier.
- Getting free rides on the Ferris Wheel at Navy Pier.
- Hiding hickeys from my parents, no thanks to that spoon-in-the-freezer trick.
- Paying for my own high-school senior portraits.
- Discovering the joy that is Lionel Richie.
- Breaking up with someone on my own terms.
And then, of course, there are the mistakes:
- Disbanding the Chicago Chicks Club, similar to the Baby-Sitters Club in that there were weekly dues and a club notebook but really we just bought candy and wrote curse words in Mad Libs books.
- Asking my mother what an orgasm was before I entered eighth grade.
- Thinking my acne would disappear if I laid off the Reese's.
- Not realizing I'd lose weight if I'd lay off the Reese's.
- Gleefully spending tuition refunds on purses and shoes.
- Missing Lost a Sock's wedding reception.
- Almost taking a hike through the woods with a guy who sold paintings door-to-door.
- OK, I went out with him, but at least I didn't go hiking through the damn woods.
- ...OK, only because my family feared that such a hike might guarantee me a chalk outline or, at the very least, special ad space on a Dean's milk carton.
- Falling for that "glow-in-the-dark picture" line. In my defense, I was very lonely and the room was very dark and there very well could have been a glow-in-the-dark picture.
- Letting The Boyfriend Who Went For Three Weeks Without Calling keep the Pokemon cards he stole from my work.
- Memorizing the words to all the singles released by Wilson Phillips.
If after reading all of that, Luke STILL wants to marry me? He can't say I didn't warn him.
Congratulations! You and Luke will be oh so happy. I hope he realizes what a lucky guy he is!
Posted by: PaintingChef | March 08, 2006 at 11:49 AM
I'm sure Luke wants to marry you BECAUSE some of your quirks and funny stories! And the wedding reception? Like I said when we talked, I'm over it, and was over it the very same day. It's ok. So pleeeeeeeeease don't beat yourself up over that one! As Wilson Phillips would sing, "you won't see me cry..." (I secretly know all the lyrics too. EEK!)
Posted by: Lost a Sock | March 08, 2006 at 01:31 PM
That is the thing about getting married...accepting the person for who they are. And you truly are a wonderful person.
Posted by: butterflygirl | March 08, 2006 at 03:10 PM
It didn't truly hit me until my dad and I were hiding around the corner and I saw M walk into the chapel with the officients. Suddenly I couldn't find my breath. :)
Posted by: Liz | March 08, 2006 at 07:18 PM
I'm still mad about not being able to be a apart of the Chicago Chicks Club. I thought your were all soooo cool! ;) And now... j/K
Anywho, you'll be a great wife and it really is eye opening when you come to realize that. I was and still am a little googly when I am referred to as Dan's wife. It makes me proud and all mushy.
You'll be a great wife with so many great things to bring to your relationship with Luke and your future children.
P.S. I'm telling mom that you used to swear in the Mad Libs book! ;)
Posted by: Sambo V. | March 08, 2006 at 09:13 PM
Oh Sam, don't you know your mom already knows she wrote bad words in her madlib book? She used to snoop in your stuff all the time, bad words in a book can't get you pregnant....
B, I love you and Luke seems to be the jello in your mold-go forth and be wed!
Love Auntie Di
Posted by: Anonymous | March 09, 2006 at 11:59 AM
Oh. No. If I'd asked my mother what an orgasm was -- in any grade, I think the earth would have taken pity on the both of us and imploded.
Seriously though, I'm sure Luke knows what a great girl he's got. And don't worry about loading the dishwasher. Didn't you know, that rule totally changes after you're married.
Posted by: Fraulein N | March 09, 2006 at 05:06 PM
Have to chime in here, really Frema, if this is bad as you get... this is a-l-l your baggage to date? Puh-lease! You two are so cute and so in love and bicker and correct each other in the comments section makes me smile. Well wishes to you both. So glad I know you well enough to be a part of it. Looks like I got in just in the nick of time. Grin.
Posted by: Number Twelve | March 09, 2006 at 05:55 PM
Okay, I have to go and read your New Kids post.
Anyway, being married rocks. At least I like it. And I'm pretty sure my husband does to. I'm sure you and Luke are going to be very happy and in love.
And like I always tell people....marriage is all about taking baths together, candles, and sex.
(haa-haa!)
Posted by: Isabel | March 10, 2006 at 12:09 AM