What Is This Meme Ban Of Which You Speak?

OK, when I said memes would no longer be posted on this Web site, I was clearly out of my mind. How could I think such powerful literary devices discourage deep reflection, when it's because of the meme I recently discovered the true extent of my current religious development? No, really! In this entry I go on and on about how I'd never leave the Catholic church because no denomination is perfect and I'm above obsessing over spiritual labels and blah-de-blah-blah and now it looks like my offspring will become poster children for the contemporary WASP movement. Also, I was tagged by the Queen of Everything, people. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

Six Weird Things About Frema

1) I have a love affair with all writing utensils. Real-life companions can testify to the fact that I carry one in my hand at all times, even when I'm driving, which scares Luke, because what if I'm chewing on a pen cap and I have to bring the Cobalt to an abrupt stop and the cap forces my head back and scrapes off a chunk of the roof of my mouth? Pens have been found nestled in my jacket pockets, at the bottom of my purse, in the seat of my jeans, hooked to my shirt collar, and resting beside my dinner plate at Ruby Tuesday. And believe you me, this is PROGRESS, because when I was a kid, I was so infatuated with all things Bic that come bedtime, I couldn't deal with the idea of a seven-hour separation. I'd hold on to them while I slept, being careful to hide my hand under the confines of my pillow.

Slumber parties were the worst, because I'd have to work the pen into bed in phases--like, whoops, someone forgot to return the "Win, Lose, or Draw" marker to its proper place in the box! ...How'd that marker get on the floor? Hey, would you look at the crazy marker roll underneath the bed? So long, old friend! And only when the last girl had passed out was I brave enough to grab The Precious and hide it under the covers where it belonged. I broke myself of the habit before I reached high school, partly because I was afraid my parents would find out and stage a Party of Five-style intervention and partly because how many girls dream of revealing unhealthy fixations with phallic objects to potential Special Someones? Although now that I think about it, that could have helped me score my first French before the age of fifteen. Hmmm.

2) There's a tiny clear wart on the middle finger of my right hand, a wart that has accompanied me through the last five years of my life. I've purchased Dr. Scholl's several times to get rid of the damn thing once and for all but am ultimately too lazy to finish the treatment.

3) I have an irrational aversion to posting more than one blog entry per day. I'm afraid current and potential readers only look as far as the latest post on the site, so publishing a second within twenty-four hours would result in my earlier post getting lost in the vast white space that is the Internet, and what if my earth-shattering insights on The State Of The Nation or Why Daytime Soap Operas Should Be Made Available For DVD Distribution went unheard?

However, this fear did not stop me from posting My Adventures in Garbagedom on Monday. Or this very entry. I'm nothing if not flexible.

4) When I was younger, I used to wash dishes at the kitchen sink with my left foot propped on the side of my right kneecap. My family called it The Flamingo Pose, even though flamingos stand like this, not like this.

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5) I think Cathy and Christopher's relationship in Flowers in the Attic is the most romantic pairing in literature. Also note that I consider Flowers in the Attic literature.

6) I can't turn left.

This is the point where I'm supposed to tag six people, but I'm exnaying that because memes just provide an excuse for capable writers to produce less than quality work, and I have better things to do with my work day than read about some poor schmuck's fear of peaches.

Hee.

P.S. Be sure to record Days Of Our Lives tomorrow, as Jason Chambers, aka The Gold Ceasar Guy From That Taco Bell Commercial, is scheduled to appear as the EMT who assists Bo in a noble rescue attempt to save Salem's finest from the local sewer system. Rest assured, Drama will ensue!

Comments

[mdvelazquez]

There's NO WAY the love affair with writing utensils is weird. NO. Not possible since that would mean I am also weird.

Maria

[Luke]

Ahem, you failed to mention that you also frequently steal them, like some sort of pen-klepto.

[Technical Maven]

It must be an epidemic! I could spend hours in the pen aisle at Office Depot! I have at least 15 pens in my purse right now! We need to start a club here in Indy!

[Lost a Sock]

Very exciting to have been tagged, friend. :0)

I know the pen thing well, having lived with you for six months. I can remember sitting on our beds talking, and you doodling the entire time. I figured out quickly that you really could do both of these things at the same time (talk, and write.)

The flamingo thing is too funny!

And, I was so happy to click your blog for the fifteenth time last night to find a new post. Two in a day is very exciting for your loyal readers...er...stalkers...Call us what you must.

[Isabel]

Can't turn left? I need more of an explanation for this one.

I was dreaming that you would tag me. Mostly because I have nothing to write about today except, "get this damn baby out of my belly!"

Alas, I was not tagged.

Oh, and I knew your friend was in a Taco Bell commerical. But I didn't know who he was. But when you said the gold guy-I knew exactly who you meant.

And that commerical freaks my husband OUT!

[drawdawn]

Flowers in the Attic is SUCH a disturbing movie. Cool meme!

[Frema]

Isabel--number six is actually a movie quote. Can anyone guess which one?

[Isabel]

I knew I had heard it before. But I don't know where it's from.

And I just spend hours trying to come up with a NOT so clever picture post to get my mind off my huge belly.

I may get desperate and do the meme tomorrow!

SWEET!

[mjd]

European Vacation

[Sambo V.]

You do Meme's so well. Jason sooooo reminds me of Joey from Friends at times.

[Frema]

Answer to number six: Zoolander. I thought I was so slick for coming up with that, and yet my humor is lost on the masses.