Good thing I broke up the whole shoe series with a little post about pee, because apparently I have shocked some of you with the quantity currently in my possession. Which, COME ON, people. Two pairs were flip-flops that barely meet the criteria of footwear, and a couple of others were ones I've owned for two years or more. Plus, I work in an office, which justifies--no, necessitates--the many pointed heels.
To ease you back into this, though, I present to you first The Only Respectable Product I've Ever Seen Sold From A Fashion Bug, as promised. Also, before you gasp in the superficial materialness of it all, they were three dollars. As in one two three. Anyone who passes on buying shoes that get you change back on a fin should be taken out back and poked in the belly button.
The year was 2004, and I was desperate for a neutral wedge to compliment this red seashell-print skirt I found at New York and Company for eight bucks. (Another sale. Am occasionally shopping genius!) I heart them because they give the illusion that my legs start directly below my breasts and carry on straight to the center of the earth, and yet I loathe them with an equal passion, because the cork has no problem maiming my ankles with deep red gashes. I wear them about three times a summer, and seeing as this is our third summer together, all three of us, I believe I've more than made my money's worth. So what if I cry out in pain when I walk to the printer?
Another old friend, also from 2004. Out of my whole shoe collection, these bad boys are my most expensive pair at a whopping seventy bucks, purchased online at the Simple Shoe Web site. They have also become Frema's Most Worn Shoe Of All Time because of their versatility. You can wear them with any color except black and almost every pant style. Capris. Shorts. Khakis. Jeans of the pant and skirt variety. The leather has held up surprisingly well despite the many hiking trips they've taken through state parks all over Indiana. I'm guessing leather isn't meant to be saturated with water and sweat, but I, I am a rule breaker, and the sandals are powerless to protest.
Your basic black boots, purchased at Bakers last September so I could wear my comfortable, just-like-sweatpants gauchos from NY&C. The heel is thick enough that I don't trip over cracks in the sidewalk, and the toe is square enough that my toes don't throb from lack of circulation. Everybody wins!
Pair three of four from my Nine West spree, which I wear all. The. Time, as evidenced by the fraying straps. I have stripped my entire apartment in a frantic search for pair number four, which makes me think I passed them on to the folks at Goodwill. I must've reasoned that the heel was too high and the toe too pointy to wear them for more than twenty minutes without limping and using complete strangers as a human crutch and thus had no real purpose sitting in my closet. Like that's any excuse to part with a sexy stiletto.
Wedges I bought in April during my honeymoon shopping spree, which I happen to be wearing right now, and which I happen to be madly in love with. Jeans, skirts, capris--they're so darned adventurous!
Working for the institutional advancement and marketing office of a private college means you work a lot of fund-raising events, and during my three-year tenure as publications director for Saint Joe, I was obligated to attend the college's annual scholarship dinner, a fancy schmancy black-tie affair for potential donors hosted at the Sheraton in downtown Chicago. For dinner number two (according to these shoe posts, 2004 was a VERY good shoe year for me), I purchased a fiesty black cocktail dress that needed a fiesty black heel. So I bought these.
...And these, because even though the bow pair is cuter and better matched the sheen of my dress, this ankle-strap pair was easier to walk in. That night I ended up going with the bows, but these have also gotten their fair share of the night life. When I HAVE a night life, that is.
Another Payless find from That Fateful Year, which I usually pair with capris during the summer, but seeing as the soles of the shoe stick to my foot sweat, creating the Sole Bunch dreaded by women everywhere, I don't wear them that often.
My gym shoes, which have definitely seen better days. I have a hard time selecting an athletic shoe because they're either Too Wide or Too Narrow or Too Tight Around The Toes, but these Sauconys are perfect in every way. They've been especially patient with me as I experiment with aerobics classes at the Y. Last Thursday I finally took the plunge and attended hip-hop aerobics, only to find that the hip-hop aerobics instructor was out due to a Family Emergency, so the substitute taught us basic step instead. And not just Richard Simmons, twenty-minutes-of-sweatin'-to-some-oldies stuff. Pam is a Vietnam vet and has the muscle mass of a pre-governor Arnold Schwarzenegger with the body size of Nicole Kidman. It was a great class, and when Luke and I were in the weight room last night, she approached me on the treadmill, saying she was subbing for another instructor again and would be teaching basic step two and would I be interested in joining?
Turns out I was interested; however, completing forty-five minutes' worth of routines with no sign of matt time in sight was my first clue in figuring out "basic step two" actually meant "intermediate." Plus, I heard her use the word "intermediate" when describing the session to another member. Another big tip-off. I almost passed out from the sweating and puffing and moaning and medicine-balling (am I the first one to realize that the rhythms of vigorous exercise and sexual intercourse are exactly the same?). Damn sneaky vets who want me to work up to my potential. I hope to see Pam again tonight, for the real basic step, during her regularly scheduled time.
Finally, I leave you with the flops that died a quick but painful death outside of Don Pablo's last month. Even gobs of medical tape weren't enough to keep them from passing into The Great Beyond.
My mom is an Avon fanatic and saw these babies advertised as two for three dollars and calls them Zsa Zsas because they glitter just like Zsa Zsa Gabor. She offered to buy me a set, and I accepted, only Luke hates the shoes and their name and probably isn't as sorry as he says he is for stepping on my heel and breaking the strap. The black pair is still going strong, though, so we'll see who has the last laugh in the end.
Okay, I've only read like the first couple of sentences but seriously, you are being harassed about the size of YOUR show collection?
What fools these mortals be.
And Frema, my friend? Your shoe collection ain't got NOTHING on mine.
174.
Boom.
A girl's shoe number is quite possibly more sacred that her "number number"...
Posted by: PaintingChef | August 09, 2006 at 04:03 PM
I agree with Britt's post on "flip flops not being 'shoes'". It's true, they can't be considered shoes when you doing a shoe collection because they are cheap and mainly worn for convinience and/or comfort. That's like counting slippers as shoes, it's just not possible.
Posted by: Christar | August 09, 2006 at 05:08 PM
I have to say... I'm very impressed by the number of flip flops you own. I guess I'm a little late in outgrowing my infatuation with them... if I ever did an exercise like this, flip flops would most definitely consume the bulk of the story. They were acceptable and even desirable as a college student, but you're right:
working in an office "justifies - no, necessitates" pointed heels.
My ankles, toes, and I shall be sad to see the new installment of footwear, but I suppose it's time to grow up.
I've really enjoyed reading about your shoes - what a cute idea for a post :)
Posted by: Becky | August 09, 2006 at 06:01 PM
I am seriously, SERIOUSLY digging all of the shoe pictures. It feeds my shoe appetite without sucking my bank account dry!
I may just steal the idea someday in the not too distant future...
Also, I adore the sexy cocktail dress shoes--definitely worth the difficulties walking in my opinion.
Posted by: Angela | August 09, 2006 at 06:54 PM
Hey! While I can't say that I regret their untimely departure, I do honestly regret the way in which the "Zsa Zsas" left this world.
Posted by: Luke | August 09, 2006 at 08:35 PM
Love the shoes!!!
Posted by: butterflygirl | August 10, 2006 at 12:51 AM
My mind is so boggled at the sheer quantity of shoes that I cannot think of an intelligent comment. I apologize!
Posted by: Mrs. S | August 10, 2006 at 01:25 AM
I find this absolutely hilarious, but Nine West pair 3 of 4 - I so totally own the SAME EXACT pair and wear them ALL the time and always receive compliments when I do. This is fabulous! I'll say it again like I've said before - we great minds truly think (and shop) alike!
Posted by: Lauren R. | August 10, 2006 at 12:09 PM
If the shoes in picture number five come up missing, it wasn't me.
Or was it?
Posted by: Lost A Sock | August 10, 2006 at 04:38 PM
And if by chance pic #2 shoes come up missing, uuummmm, Lost A Sock took those too. Yeah, she did it! And therefore needs to be taken out back and poked in the belly button. (Can I please steal that phrase if I promise to give you credit every time I say it b/c seriously that cracked me up.)
Oh, and who the hell is talking about too many shoes? Going to investigate....will be back.
Posted by: Silly Hily | August 10, 2006 at 04:47 PM
Baby, you've got great shoes. I especially love your boots. Yes, I love them so much.
Posted by: Isabel | August 10, 2006 at 05:47 PM
I love the Nine Wests. If my husband were reading this post, he would be saying "why in the world does one person need so many black shoes?" And I would be saying, in your and my defense "well, duh, these are for pants, these are dressy for summer, these are dressy for winter, these have lower heels for work, etc!" Men! They just do not get it.
Posted by: Elizabeth | August 10, 2006 at 08:46 PM
Love your shoes. They are all so stylish and (for the most part) versatile.
Posted by: Fraulein N | August 10, 2006 at 10:18 PM
In the format of an equation : [ 3 loafers w/o pennies + 1 sandals + 8 leathers that require polishing + 2 golf + 2 work boots + 1 pair flip-flops + 1 gym + 3 jogging + 2 NB walking + 5 jogging - 5 jogging ] = 23
Those last five just left the house for the brown Waste Management container out back of the house. Hence, the total is a net 23. It could be 23 + 0, but the zero is not much of any thing. Total = 23.
Posted by: daddy d | August 10, 2006 at 10:53 PM
I love the term, Zsa Zsas. The fact that your mom made up that moniker makes it even better. At your wedding, I heard your mom and sisters call those glittery slides, Zsa Zsas. What a perfect name for such fun shoes.
Posted by: mjd | August 10, 2006 at 11:00 PM
I love your wedges, fundraiser and night life shoes!! Of course the Zsa Zsa's are numero uno, minus the tape!! I really do wish we wore the same shoe size!! :)
Posted by: Sambo V. | August 11, 2006 at 02:06 AM
Shoe posts are just so much fun! I had a really REALLY hard time narrowing down my shoe blog selection to my usual comfort-over-style rotation.
Also? I LOVE those black Mary Janes. LOVE!
Posted by: Lizzy in the City | August 11, 2006 at 03:37 PM
Hail the Three Dollar Shoes!!
And those boots are super sexy. Raaar!
Posted by: Britt | August 11, 2006 at 09:05 PM
Luke's Aunt Shirley signs her e-mail messages with this thoughtful quote.
" The right pair of shoes can change your life." Cinderella
Posted by: mjd | August 12, 2006 at 07:42 PM
OK, Frema... my shoes and my relationship with them is so dysfuntional and if faced with task of actually looking at and photographing my shoes... I think over half would be gifts my sister who has a whole 'nother problem with shoes. Apprarently.
Fun posts and really... add the costs of all your shoes and they still wouldn't cost for a pair of Prada.
Although, you do own Prada.
:-)
Another fun entry!!!
Posted by: Number Twelve | August 14, 2006 at 11:32 PM
Love the shoes! I'm blog hopping tonight, thanks for a giggle!
Posted by: Stacey | August 20, 2006 at 02:05 AM