« In Which I Talk About Children For the Last Time Until I'm Actually Pregnant. Promise. | Main | No, I'm Not Dead From E. Coli Poisoning »

September 16, 2006


Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

That is a beautiful townhouse. But you guys know what your goal is and that is something beautiful also. I commend you for having a plan and sticking with it.

(I dare not talk about people on WIC who could have jobs in this comment. It's too much of a hot topic!)

What hard decisions have I made?? In regards to being a Mom, or just in life?

Just deciding to become a Mom is hard enough. And then trying to justify me working to all the ladies at Church who JUST DON'T GET IT. Gag.

One that I wish I could change would be marrying my first husband. I guess everybody else knew it would turn out badly. I just wish someone would have shared their opinion with me.

I take that back. I'm not sorry I married him. I wouldn't be "me" without those lessons.

One of the hardest things I did was move out to Seattle and leave my family behind. I'm proud that I did it, because damn, it was hard. And I'm such a stronger person now because of it. And my marriage is so much better because we live here. I have a hard time being married and being near my family.

Anyway, this is about you and not me.

You guys will be blessed for how hard you work. Things will all come together for you. It might just take a few years. Don't fret. They'll fly by!

As a single mom now, I have so many decisions I need to make. Child support doesn't even come close so that the child can "live" as they once did when their parents were married.

I'm so happy that even though I did not put any money down on my townhome, I have a place of my own for my son and I. It is our home.

Life is about making the right choices. I don't take any flack from anyone. I look at them as life lessons. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff.

My GOD do you ask loaded questions. And I've enjoyed reading the two comments already left and not quite sure what I could add... so to answer ONE of your questions... the move Smoochie (my husband) and I made to Boston. It made no "real" sense whatsover and really... I think I'm going to stop there and just right an entry on this one. Jeesh.

Duing my childhood, our family of six (4 + 2 =6) lived in a one bed room house. I still remember the street number. So cool, 609. That number can be turned and still be the same. I never knew that it could be different. My mom did however. When my third sister came along, (now 5 + 2 = 7) mom got her family into a much bigger and better house. Of course, it needed to be fixed up. But there was lots of room. The point being, families are together. That is the main thing. The other stuff will work out.

Nice. Yeah, wayyy nice.

The spring after our wedding we knew we wanted to start trying for a baby relatively soon. Our car was a peice of crap, so we decided to buy a new one - something four-door that would last us a while. We came home with the new sparkling Ford Mustang from smack dab in the center of the showroom floor, vowing to not have kids for a few more years just to have that car.

I know it wasn't one of your questions, but that was probably the stupidest decision we ever made. We started trying for a baby the following month, and traded the Mustang exactly 12 months later for exactly a hell of a lot less money than we owed.

One of our most difficult decisions was taking our house off the market the first time. Looking back, it's also probably one of the best decisions we made.

I have every faith that you and Luke will be successful a la extreme. Your apartment, like my little house, is a temporary necessity.

We rent my parents' mother in law suite. While it's definitely not the same as living with them (we have our space, they have theirs, we can go for days without seeing each other) there's a huuuuge stigma attached. I usually don't tell people this, I don't know why I'm tell you, honestly! :)

We're sacrificing right now for my PhD, which some day will pay off in a huge way- I'll be able to teach a few classes and mostly stay home with our future kids. This is something that was very important to us. But one year has turned into two, because Kev was laid off for nine months right when we first got married. Next semester we could possibly move out, but it wouldn't be wise because I don't have enough contacts at the local univerisities yet to feel secure in my job.

What would I change, if I could? I don't know. I was very much ready to live with Kev and be married. And living here has absolutely been worth it. But had I realized that I could teach with a Masters, maybe I'd have put off the PhD and just started working. I'm not sure. Sigh!

Hubby and I closed on our house the month before we married. I love it and I love home ownership, but we wouldn't have done it if it didn't make sense. I'll admit, right now, we would not be able to have a child financially. Mortgage plus two car payments, insurance, and bills don't leave much left over. We're not ready for children anyway. But we're not ready for children now anyway. We're hoping that a couple more years in the work force will allow for promotions and raises and eventually we'll be able to give our child/children the kind of life we want. It's all about timing, and whatever you do, you will make it work. You're smart people.

Oh Frema, why do you do this to my brain? On an empty stomach? I can't think right now. Let me go cram some fast food crap down my throat and I'll be back.
I will say this though, I lurve you. Seriously. You and Luke (why do I type Luck every time?) will be blessed ten-fold one day for being smart in the beginning and holding off on some "nice" things. You are looking at the big picture, the future instead of right now and it will all pay off in a big, big way.

The surge of emotion over a house fades eventually, like you said. When we bought ours, the market was crazy with bidding wars and you pretty much had to remain cool, calm, and ready for rejection. Now that we've been in our house for a few years, we can't imagine living anywhere else. I'm kind of glad those other options didn't pan out.

When you guys eventually buy a place, it'll be the right place for you and exactly where you're meant to be. And you'll be SO HAPPY.

p.s. those floors were quite lovely. ;)

I like how you end your post with questions, and good ones at that. Before any bun finds its' way to this oven, I need to get my own personal act together. Sounds like you and Luke are making very thoughtful decisions sister.

What hard decisions have you made for your family?
Giving up my salary, that was more than twice what my husband made so I could stay at home. Yeah, I am one of those. I love it though and wouldn't change it for the world... would I have gone on WIC to do it.. NO. But that is just me.
Which are you most proud of?
Going 'gung ho' on Dave Ramsey so I could stay at home. I love him for helping us get off on the right foot.
Which do you get the most flack for?
I get alot of flack from my family when it comes to my childs food. I have a 6 month old who just started solids and my family just doesn't understand why I don't want him gnawing on a rib bone. I just stand my ground.
I also get flack for staying at home. I have a master's in Engineering and my family is just floored that I would put my career on hold.
What would you change if you could?
My family... ugh and I would make my husband make more money.. but who wouldn't.

Okay, I'm back. But all I can say right now is that it makes me go cross-eyed to think that some of the money I make is automatically deducted from my "take home salary" to help other mothers who want to stay at home have that choice b/c they are on WIC. And I'll stop there b/c I might punch something.
Um, next, OH, want to know what juicy gossip I found out about the "Jonses'"? Mrs. Jones has 10 credit cards that her husband doesn't even know about. They are maxed out to the limit and will NEVER get out of debt. It will be something that they will pass onto their children. But damnit, at least that child wore some sort of smock dress at the age of 3. That nice car that they are driving? It was given to them by their parents b/c it was paid off. All that lovely furniture in the house? They took out a second home loan to pay for it. There is no life insurance. No college fund. Hmmmm, all of a sudden, those Jonses', they don't look so good do they?

But here is the most important question of the day. How are you handling this spinach situation? You are the first person I thought of when I heard about it.

I think that your goal to be a SAHM is great, and I commend you for being so responsible about it. When the ovaries start leaping, it's hard to think logically, but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders.

I'm fully set on being a SAHM, and I'm scared to death as each month passes by, and I calculate the number of paychecks I have left. It will be hard financially, but a baby is only a baby for so long, and if I can sacrifice some material posessions and be able to be there for his first words, first step, and every little thing between, then it's totally worth giving up hard wood floors (I had the chance to get them, and I turned them down).

I love the way that you and Luke think things through and sometimes rethink and come to a different decision. Some decisions are probably neither good or bad just different. Once you have taken one path; you may never know what obstacles lay in the road not taken. As you know, my decision to stay home with little Luke and his brother, Matt, was determined for me. However, I am so happy that I was able to stay home with them when they were small. I treasure those days.

Hard to believe, but yes, I thought of you right away with this spinach outbreak, as well, like Silly Hily. Of course, right now it is for fresh spinach only and spinach dip is made with frozen, right? But then again, frozen COMES from fresh, doesn't it?
Well, hopefully this will all go away soon.

The comments to this entry are closed.


  • "The Lord is my helper,
    I will not be afraid.
    What can anyone do to me?"
    - Hebrews 13:6

    "The best way out is always through."
    - Robert Frost

    "Breathe, pray, be kind, stop grabbing."
    - Anne Lamott

    "Mere completion is a rather honorable achievement in its own right."
    - Liz Gilbert

    "When we tell our stories,
    we change the world."
    - Brené Brown