Poking Two Belly Buttons With One Finger (Or Some Other Equally Non-Violent Phrase That Implies Multitasking)

After writing The Blog Entry Whose Length Rivals The Bible And Also Possibly Caused You To Question My Sanity, I'm grease-lightening things up around here with an entry that both answers the following question posed by Mrs. S:

If you could eat all you wanted of one thing and never get fat or lack vitamins or whatever, what would you eat?

and fulfills a long-time request of Isabel's. Yessiree, Frema fans, it's the moment you've all been waiting for. I'm going to share my spinach-dip recipe.

In a perfect, bubble-butt-free world, the one food I would trust my nutritional livelihood to wholeheartedly would be this deliciously green (my favorite color! Our partnership was so meant to be) concoction. Introductions took place on April 28, 2001, exactly seven days after the auction, at TGI Friday's, the location for Luke's and my first date, except we didn't call it a date because both of us were awkward and shy and still signing e-mails with corny salutations like "Your pal, Luke" or "Your buddy, Bree." We'd just been seated after a twenty-minute wait and decided on ordering an appetizer to combat a predictably lengthy wait. The only other time we'd shared a meal was at Pizza Hut earlier that week, and he let me order our pizza topping (pepperoni, which he hates, a tidbit I wouldn't be privy to for another two months), so I figured it was only fair for him to choose the appetizer.

"How about the spinach dip?" he asked.

Obviously it was a budding courtship; otherwise Luke would've already known about my aversion to foods beyond the staples of the American grill palate and my fear of any vegetable other then corn or green beans. However, eating preferences had inspired several arguments with my last boyfriend, who if permitted would've injected the taste of crab legs directly into his veins, so I gave it a go and offered my approval. Luke ordered it, I loved it, and he loved that I loved it, until I was championing for dip fixes for every dinner out. Or lunch. Or trips to Dairy Queen. Eventually, the time came for me to self-medicate.

Ingredients

1 pack of frozen chopped spinach
1 can of quartered artichoke hearts
1 cup of reduced-fat mayonnaise
1ish cup of Parmesan cheese
Several good shakes of cayenne pepper
Several good shakes of garlic salt
1 bag of blue tortilla chips

Before I go on, it's important to note I've made several revisions to the recipe found in Betty Crocker's red cookbook. For starters, there are TWO dip recipes featured: one using spinach as the base, and one using artichokes. The first one calls for several off-the-wall items like vegetable soup, water chestnuts, and green onions, and since I've never sampled a dip that included any of those things, I just use the second one and add spinach because it's simpler and I'm crafty like that. I double the amount of cheese because duh, cheese makes everything better, and I threw in the cayenne pepper and garlic salt because I thought it would pump up the flavah volume.

Directions

1) Preheat your oven for 350 degrees.
2) Remove spinach from cheap paper packaging and place in large bowl for dethawing in the microwave (usually for three minutes).
3) Press spoon against spinach to squeeze excess water from bowl.
4) Use food processor to "puree" artichokes.
5) Mix artichokes and mayonnaise together, then add the cheese, and lastly the spinach. Following this order will allow for an easier combining of elements.
6) Shake cayenne pepper over surface until the smell burns the inside of your nostrils. Shake garlic salt until it effectively compliments the pepper. (Don't worry about adding too much of either. That's what milk is for.) Mix well.
7) Bake covered for 25 minutes. Or uncovered, if you're the type of cook who routinely forgets that sort of thing.
8) Feast on the goodness.
9) Share the goodness with others in the form of natural gas.
10) Don't say I didn't warn you.

Comments

[Stacey]

Love it...now I want spinach dip. And I never thought of pureeing the artichokes. Hmm. You learn something new everyday!

[Lost A Sock]

MMMMMMMMMMMMMake me some!

[debi]

All this time I thought you had already given out this recipe and that I just hadn't found it yet.Guess how many of us will be making this tomorrow? Are all artichoke hearts the same? The ones I have are marinated.Does this make enough for 2 or do I need to double it so Joe can have some?

[Mrs. S]

I should have known better than to ask that question. Or, at least, I should have had the forsight to wait until I was once-again unpregnant and no longer constantly ravenous.

Because, seriously? Where am I going to get frozen spinach at 12:48am?

[Emily]

People who don't have bubble butts never understand what an issue they can be. Mine sticks out so far that I can hang a towel off it after I get out of the shower. AND I AM NOT MAKING THAT UP.

Also? I have never before in my life needed frozen chopped spinach but for some reason I bought some at the grocery store yesterday. I must have been channeling you in the frozen foods aisle.

[Isabel]

I will be making that this week. We have a fresh bag of chipes and a tan of artichoke hearts.

THANKS!

[Jessi]

I sure do lurrrrrve me some spinach dip! Thanks for the recipe!

[Silly Hily]

Love it! You totally need to write your own cookbook. I will pick up the ingredients to make it on my next visit to the grocery store (which, if I can help it, won't be for another 2 weeks).

[Heather]

Mmm....sounds yummy. I'm not much for cooking, but I may have to try this out.

Thanks for commenting on the new blog, by the way!!

[Sambo V.]

Thanks for sharing your famous recipe! Maybe you can come over and make it for me sometime. ;) XoXO

[Um Ibrahim]

I love spinach so I will try this recipie tommorow. For those counting carbs you can skip the chips and use sliced celery stalks instead. (South Beach)

[Frema]

Debi: This makes much more than a typical restaurant serving, so there should be plenty for you and Joe. Also, I've not used marinated artichokes, but I don't know why it should affect the recipe's overall outcome. You'll have to go for it and let us know how it turned out!

Sissy: I would love to make this for you. :)

[Jenabeeb]

I have made a similar recipe, but I think it called for sour cream, too. Have you ever tried that?

As far as marinated artichokes, I would shy away from that because they are flavored and that would probably make it taste different.