Recommitting to Emptying the Junk in My Trunk

Luke and I spent part of our extended weekend in Chicago to catch up with family. When we stay in Chicago, we usually stay with my sister, and when we stay with my sister, I usually weigh myself because she has a scale and I don't and I have yet to gather the courage to ask somebody how to work the doctor's-office one stationed in the women's locker room at the Y. I'm not sure what I was expecting to see. I've already told you all about the points-counting thing dying a quick and painless death, and though I've been dragging my carcass to the gym, it's two or three times a week at best, where I mostly walk on the treadmill.

As of Saturday night, I weigh 140.5 pounds. I've gained a pound and a half since my last weigh-in.

I suspect the pint of Breyer's I was inhaling minutes before may have been a contributing factor.

To top it all off, Magda's texturizing comb has left my ends as frayed as if I'd just skipped the damn appointment altogether. Maybe she figured out I'm part Arabian?

Anyway, I had a good cry on the drive home but have since steeled my resolve to lose the fifteen pounds I lost through Weight Watchers the first time around. Only instead of counting points, I'm committing myself to three classes a week at the gym and at least one day on the treadmill, where I can give myself a break if/when I deem it necessary. I've also decided that the couch time dedicated to munching on pretzels would be better spent preparing real food. I browsed through some cookbooks on Monday and have created a dinner menu for every night this week. (I'm accounting for yesterday and today, even though Luke and I didn't make it to Super Target until tonight (after coming home from Prep Step--go me), and we'd already started thawing chicken for tomorrow, so things don't get interesting until near the tail end of the week.)

Monday: Spaghetti
Tuesday: Healthy Choice chicken gumbo and grilled cheese
Wednesday: Chicken
Thursday: BBQ roast beef sandwiches
Friday: steak and pepper fajitas
Saturday: Cantonese beef chow mein
Sunday: wild rice and mushroom soup

Before you criticize my food choices, keep in mind my main goal is to supress the urge to snack. Luke's taking care of the chicken tomorrow, but then I'm on kitchen detail until Sunday night, with the reasoning that if my hands are busy chopping vegetables and slicing pieces of steak, they can't reach into the pantry to wolf down a handful of chips. Also, the fajita recipe was located out of Good Houskeeping's Light and Healthy Cookbook (thanks again, Betty and Brooke!). Also also, minding portion sizes and emphasizing exercise should allow me to eat things like roast beef. Because I know you care, I'll be sure to take pictures and transcribe the more memorable experiences. (Confidential to Isabel: the spinach dip recipe is coming, I promise!)

As if treating you to Frema's Body-Image Chronicles weren't enough, I've decided to answer one of Silly Hily's questions. Don't thank me all at once.

If you could change one thing about your past, what would it be?

The fact that I was so damned insecure in my relationships. The Boyfriend Who Went For Three Weeks Without Calling--well, often went three weeks without calling, and I didn't have the guts to call him on it (pun a little intended). It took five years to end our make-up break-up cycle, only for me to hook up with Mike, only to trigger Trophy Frema for ten months my junior year in college.

I can see my willingness in volunteering my backside as a doormat caused a lot of the issues I faced with both men. Why should Nick have called when I was so quick to excuse his absences? Why should Mike have made an effort to know my friends when I was dropping them to hang out with his? I was so wrapped up in the intensity of our physical attraction and the status that accompanied having a boyfriend that I didn't allow myself to dwell on the quality of the boyfriends I had.

This played out in some of my platonic friendships as well; I was always so worried about what people thought of me and whether or not I was viewed as a good friend. I'm much better now, but that "old" part of me still resurfaces from time to time.

I'd keep going, but it's twelve-thirty in the morning, and Luke is about ready to rip the keyboard from underneath my fingerpads so he can get some sleep. For my sanity and his, peace out.

Comments

[Mrs. S]

I am not trying to help you make excuses or anything like that - but please remember that fat weighs less than muscle, and that if you have been walking a lot (treadmill?) lately, you may have gained 1.5lbs in LEG MUSCLES, and not in fat. I know you still want to lose 15lbs, but be careful about going 'by the scale' because it can often be misleading and daunting.

*puts away her soapbox*

[Lost A Sock]

Yes, I second Mrs. S. Maybe you want to measure your 15 pounds in clothing size/s or with a plain ol measuring tape? You can do it! (You impress me with your excersizing skills, oh great master.) (That last sentence should be spoken using a voice cross between some Star Wars dude and Mr. Miyagi.)

Don't beat yourself up over those boys (I realize, you were answering the question.) You ended up with the right one.

:0)

[Marriage-101]

The one thing I learned through weight watchers is it's all about the portion control. Calories in, calories out. I lost about 16 or 17 lbs on WW my first time around and am trying to get back in the saddle, but it's tough. Especially since I don't particularly care for foods that are good for me, and I have a husband with absolutely no weight problem so he can eat whatever he wants. I have a hard time munching on carrot sticks while he's sucking down Dorito's.

[Silly Hily]

Holy cow I could have said that word for word (only it would have been 3 years instead of 5). Other than that, seriously, word.for.word.

And dude, 140 lbs!!!??? Do you know what I would do to be 140 lbs???? Let's just say there are few things I wouldn't do.

[daddy d]

Equilibrium: Energy In = Energy Out. However, if there is more going in than coming out then the difference stays inside in a concentrated form. Yet, it is true the muscle is more dense than other stuff of the body. Also, muscle is nicer to the eye. You are moving ahead. One week of menus is a super goal setting effort.

[butterflygirl]

Good thing you don't have a scale at home. You would be driving yourself crazy!

[Number Twelve]

Great question Silly Hilly and great answer Frema...

And I have YET to schedule and execute a five-day dinner menu. Please, if you're able to follow through on consistently feeding youself, please pass along your secret. There are some mountains I have yet to climb.

[debi]

Oh Frema, Well, that's all I can think of.I guess not,I just read "HOW USELESS CLUTTER CHANGED MY LIFE".It brought tears to my eyes.Okay,I do cry at the drop of a hat but it was the sweetest thing.I don't know you in the "real world" but I do think that what I love so much about you is that feeling that WHAT YOU READ IS WHAT YOU GET.
And also,I was just wondering,are you making a big loaf of garlic french bread to go with that spaghetti? And what about low cal desserts?

[Frema]

Debi: Nope, no garlic french bread here. We don't have anything with spaghetti, and usually our sides consist of fruits, vegetables, or some sort of rice.

Regarding low-cal desserts: we did pick up some Ben and Jerry's sorbet--"Berried Treasure." Trust Luke to find pirate-themed goodness in the grocer's freezer.

[New Mezger]

I think you're funny and so adorable. You remind me of my girlfriends I hang out with, here in Houston.

ANYWAY - My husband and I have been trying to eat healthy...I just got "A Weight Watchers Cookbook, Cooking for 2" this weekend. The recipes are really fantastic (I'm a food snob) and the portion controls have helped a lot. It's nice, because if you count points (the points are counted for you), you can have delicious tasting snacks during the day and not feel guilty. I'll make copies and try to email them to you (if you want).

My problem - I really need to lay off the wine... :(

[Isabel]

I tend to snack also. If you can find a way to NOT snack...let me know!!

I think we were all relationship-idiots when we were younger. I see kids on TV shows and movies and they are always so cool when it comes to stuff like that. I NEVER was.

[Isabel]

(oh, can't wait for the recipe you've promised!!)

[Sambo V.]

I like that you mapped out your weekly dinner menu! Dan and I just talked about eating out too much yesterday and I went to the groceries to get a variety of different dinner foods. The chicken legs are baking now! ;) Mmmmm Mmmm gooooood! ;) Anywho, Nick and Mike probably regret being such a-holes to this very day and I think it's kinda funny! They had no idea what a treausure you are and now they're probably fat and lonely. Boo frickin' who. ;)