After more than a week of soup, spaghetti, and take out, yesterday I decided to prepare an actual meal. "Pork and vegetables" was originally slated for last Monday, and since the main ingredients had already been purchased, pork and vegetables it was.
With a few dishes under my belt, the whole cooking thing is becoming much more enjoyable, thus making it easier to navigate through each step. It took just twenty minutes to cut the potatoes, slice the carrots, and "wedge" the onions, and according to my Pillsbury cookbook, the whole sensuous ensemble would be ready in the same amount of time it would take to recap the AMC episode of the day. Just stick the meat thermometer into the thickest part of the meat to verify it cooked all the way through, and the triumph of another successful dinner would be mine.
True to Pillsbury's word, the time went off just as Zach and Dixie's murder trial came to fruition. Hurriedly I ran to the stove, eager to show off my mad housewifery skillz to a husband who graciously launders ninety-eight percent of our clothes, and became dismayed to find the face of the meat thermometer glued to the top of the oven. "Oh, well, at least the meat is done!"
"What do you mean, 'At least the meat is done?'" Luke jumped up from his seat on the couch in time to see me extract a now-ruined thermometer from the pork's caboose. "You're not supposed to cook that with the food!"
"But the book said to stick it in the thickest part of the meat!"
"Yes. AFTER it's done cooking!"
"Then why did they include it at the beginning of the directions?"
Luke: Bangs head against wall, wonders if this incident provides sufficient grounds for divorce.
Frema: Doesn't blame him.
Oh no you didn't! Bwahahahaha!
With you, not at you, of course.
Posted by: Lost A Sock | October 03, 2006 at 08:49 PM
Good point about the placement within the directions on the themometer. If the ending time was desired they should have said so. However, temperature is related to the energy of the object being measured. The progress of the object throught out the cooking process might be of interest. I see no reason the directions can not say the right thing. Otherwise, they should out source their writing to someone that can write.
Posted by: daddy d | October 03, 2006 at 09:27 PM
I melted our meat thermometer in the oven within the last couple of years. I actually knew that the thermometer was for testing after the meat was cooked, but I thought that it would not hurt to leave it in the bird in the oven for a few minutes. But a few minutes always seem to turn into a half an hour when I am cooking. Oh well, these things make cooking an adventure.
Posted by: mjd | October 03, 2006 at 09:30 PM
If it's any consolation, my aunt's friend suffered great financial loss after a kitchen fire.
The kitchen fire was caused when the friend's daughter, while trying to bake some cookies for her father, read the directions "grease the bottom of the pan" and greased THE BOTTOM of the pan... as in, the part that faced the element.
See? It could be worse! :D
Posted by: Mrs. S | October 03, 2006 at 11:34 PM
Oh, Frema. This is why I look forward to your posts. *uncontrollable giggling*
Posted by: Stacey | October 04, 2006 at 02:12 AM
Oh, FUNNY STUFF!!!!
Posted by: mrs. c (molly's mom) | October 04, 2006 at 02:15 AM
You're too funny! Good luck on your next cooking adventure (I have a feeling you might need it ;).
Posted by: Roxanne | October 04, 2006 at 11:06 AM
Frema, I was right there with you. I actually muttered ohhhhh, out loud, when I realized that the thermometer was not to be cooked with the turkey. I agree, the directions could have been clearer.
Posted by: Art Nerd Lauren | October 04, 2006 at 11:16 AM
Oh, no. I'm assuming you had to throw the roast out, too?
Well, look at it this way-- you'll never make this mistake again. :)
Posted by: Liz | October 04, 2006 at 12:24 PM
Actually, the meat was still good--all the gooey stuff managed to stay on the face of the thermometer. A little dry, perhaps, but not bad.
Posted by: Frema | October 04, 2006 at 12:42 PM
Indeed, the pork was still pretty tasty, despite it's narrow escape from having melted plastic drip all over it. The death of our meat thermometer should just be chalked up as a lesson learned the hard way.
Posted by: Luke | October 04, 2006 at 12:56 PM
Whoops!! Well, this is kind of like when I realized that a meat thermometer and a candy thermometer are two different things after trying to make fudge with my meat thermometer. That didn't turn out edible at all, so you've got me beat on that factor at least!
Posted by: Angela | October 04, 2006 at 01:02 PM
Oh Frema, I lurve you! I lurve you for telling us funny stories like this. That is totally something I would do. And Tony would be banging his head on the wall just like Luke.
Thanks for the laugh.
Posted by: Silly Hily | October 04, 2006 at 03:45 PM
Oh Frema, your future kids will love these kind of stories.I think we all have one or two. Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: debi | October 05, 2006 at 02:43 AM
You have definitely saved my husband from a repeat of this situation in our kitchen. I've always thought you cooked it with the meat but never been brave enough to try. It didn't ruin the oven did it?!
Posted by: Erika | October 05, 2006 at 02:20 PM
Aww, hee. You're precious, you know that, right?
Posted by: Fraulein N | October 06, 2006 at 04:27 PM