You know that a meme has gone totally sour when your blogging partner in crime says, "I totally forgot about those things!"
For your sake and mine, let's just get this over with.
At one point, but probably not so much now, Lizzy wanted to know:
Where is and what is in your "junk drawer"?
Both as a child and an adult, no matter where I've lived, the kitchen has always been home to the family junk drawer, and Luke's and my current apartment is no exception. For some reason, the kitchen is always the room with the leftover drawer space. Are they intentionally designed this way? Is anybody's junk drawer NOT in the kitchen? Inquiring minds want to know.
Behold, the evidence.
If I were more skilled in Photoshop I would've put numbers on each item and wrote funny captions enclosed in cartoonish thought bubbles, but I'm not, and there are too many thingamajigs to cover each one, anyway, so this is what you get. From where I'm sitting, I see candles we forget to burn, redeemable stamps from whitewater rafting trips with Saint Joe, batteries, scissors, paper clips used to seal half-eaten bags of chips, a glue stick, tape, an extra sponge for the George Foreman grill, the lining paper I used to address our wedding invitations, and other miscellaneous necessities. Nothing terribly exciting; it's not even that full, since I make a habit of cleaning it out every couple of months.
God, I'm boring. Why are you even here?
Ever have a celebrity run-in in which you behaved like an absolute ass?
Glory be, I actually have an answer to this question. The celeb in question is former AMC hottie Mark Consuelos. Let me 'splain.
While it's true my current soap habit started couple of years ago, it was first born at the impressionable age of thirteen, thanks to my Auntie Donna, who babysat two of my cousins when my Auntie Debbie was at work. In between diapering, feeding, and entertaining a newborn, she managed to keep up with Days of Our Lives, and on one of my visits, I came across an episode where Vivian had buried Carly alive in a desperate attempt to keep her from romancing Laurence and Marlena was frolicking about behind closed doors with John, who'd been brainwashed by Stefano to believe he was Roman Brady, Marlena's long-lost husband, who had just resurfaced to reclaim his life.
Thirteen was a hard age for me, and I kept to myself a lot, so it was easy to embrace this new world. I became so enraptured with the soap genre I eventually added three more shows to the roster, spending the majority of that summer glued to Days, All My Children, One Life to Life, and General Hospital.
Fast-forward to 1995, when I was a sophomore in high school and not so dependent on daytime television, though I was still a huge fan of Days, and had a newfound interest in prime time, mainly due to an attraction the entire male cast of Party of Five (minus Owen, of course). It was around this time I had a short stint selling fudge at McCormick Place in Chicago, and one particular auto convention boasted of a panel of small-screen celebrities who were available for personal meetings, autographs, and the like. It featured actors from both shows--Jason Brooks (Days's Peter Blake), and Michael A. Goorjian (Party of Five's Justin). There was also a third star, Mark Consuelos, but since I hadn't kept up with AMC and Mark had only recently joined the cast, I didn't have the foggiest idea who he was.
On one of my breaks I stood in line for twenty minutes, waiting eagerly to participate in some inappropriate snuggling with men ten to twenty years older than my awkward, freshly dumped self.
I was not disappointed.
It's the second shot that gets me the most, as I remember throwing a quick nod in Mark's direction before promptly helping myself to Michael Goorjian's lap. Mark was the only one of the three who didn't receive my request for an autograph, as I wasn't sure his John Hancock was worth another three bucks. See how jealous he looks? And now he's the only one who still has a career. I sure know how to pick 'em.
What's your favorite joke to tell?
Anybody who knows me even a little bit will tell you I suck at telling jokes; thus, my favorite joke to tell is also the easiest one to remember, thus eliminating the possibility of forgetting the punchline.
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!
I first heard this joke from my parents when I was nine. We were all amazed at its cleverness, which possibly explains where I get my sense of humor from.
Eight years ago, Lost A Sock wondered:
What is the current color on your toenails?
Part of the reason I put off answering last round for so long is this very question. The last time I sported paint on my toes was August, but I didn't want to admit to the Internet that I waddled through the end of the summer with bare feet, so I vowed not to post a response until I had properly rectified the situation. Well, weeks went by, with my toes still shamelessly naked, so this morning I made the executive decision to skip the polish and go for the funny, mentally drafting an answer along the lines of "While I'm lacking in the personal pedicure area, my feet aren't totally neglected. I do shave the hair on my big toe from time to time," imagining everyone would enjoy a hearty laugh in appreciation of my comedic skill.
Then I read Amalah's latest post, after which I could only assume Amy called upon her trusty mind-reading powers to steal my toe-hair thunder. Thus, my new answer is:
Nothing.
If not a writer or a SAHM, what's your next career choice?
Something that allows me to interact less with my computer and more with living, breathing human beings, like a teacher or a career counselor. A friend of mine in Saint Joe's English department once brought up the idea of me presenting a course on online writing in an adjunct capacity, so I'm curious to see if that ever comes to fruition.
In a perfect world, if Erica Kane could marry any man and live happily ever after, who would that man be?
The answer to this question requires some major soul-searching on my part. Currently on her tenth husband, there's been no shortage of marital bliss (and unbliss) in Erica's life. The roll call is as follows:
1. 1971- Jeff Martin
2. 1975- Phil Brent
3. 1978- Tom Cudahy
4. 1984- Adam Chandler
5. 1987- Travis Montgomery
6. 1990- Travis Montgomery
7. 1991- Adam Chandler (fake)
8. 1993- Dimitri Marick
9. 1996- Dimitri Marick
10. 2005- Jackson Montgomery
The writers approach the show with the philosophy that Erica and Jack, the brother of the father of her youngest daughter, have been soul mates all along, and now that they've finally made it to the altar, I'd hate to see them break up, even though Jack has the sex appeal of a coat rack. I like her better with more seductive, more vindictive men, like the evil David Hayward, who once drugged an entire yachtful of people with a libido-inducing drug to set the stage for Tad's one-night affair with the resident psycho while he was attempting marriage for the third time with Dixie Cooney. She also has wonderful chemistry with Zach Slater, a casino manager who hired her as a showgirl for his Vegas number a few years back and went on to marry her oldest daughter, who was once engaged to his son. Maybe one of them will become husband number eleven.
Who let the dogs out? (Who? Who? Who? Who?)
This one's easy. Your mom!
The questions, they are done. Now we can talk about more important things, like your favorite scary movies and the difficulty in determining your cervical position. Good times.
I have always wanted to tell about my "brush with greatness"(David Letterman).It was in the early 70's in California at the race track at Santa Anita. I was with my friend Pearl who grew up around the world of horse racing. She said that before placing a bet we should go down to the paddock to check out the horses. On our way back they had started bringing out the horses.There was alot of people walking on a narrow path and I stepped aside to stand and watch the horses go by.My friend jabbed me in the ribs and jumped up and down yelling "look, look,it's,,,).She could not remember the name but just as Kirk Douglas passed by us she yelled "its Spartacus".He Looked at us and laughed and kept on going. He was a very short and handsome man.
Frema you were a cute little chickie babe. I think Mark is hotter now than he was then.
Posted by: debi | October 08, 2006 at 12:42 AM
Hey, hey, hey....was that ME that you're refering to and how do you know that story when you weren't even there?!!!
Posted by: mrs. c (molly's mom) | October 08, 2006 at 01:46 AM
Are you guys talking about Molly's mom dancing to Who Let the Dogs Out at her wedding? Because everytime I hear that song to this day I think of HER!
Posted by: Jenabeeb | October 08, 2006 at 05:54 PM
First, I absolutely love that you have an intimate knowledge of soap operas, though MY drug of choice is Young and the Restless.
Your celebrity sighting story cracked me up.
Oh, and I have a junk drawer, and it is also in the kitchen. However, I am ridiculously obsessive-compulsive, so mine also has snap-together-junk-drawer-organizers. Ha. Hahaha. I wish I was kidding.
Posted by: Stacey | October 09, 2006 at 11:24 AM
You people with the neat junk drawer organizers and not so much junk in them... I laugh at your junk drawers. At any given moment you could trade the contents of our computer area garbage can with the contents of the junk drawer and most people would never know the difference. I? Would ask where the hell the 97 miscellaneous batteries went.
And I loved the answer to who let the dogs out. You rock.
Posted by: Lost A Sock | October 09, 2006 at 08:50 PM
That is the neatest, most sorry excuse for a junk drawer I have ever seen. I have at least 4 junk drawers that would make yours cower in fear.
(insert wild maniacal laughter here...)
Posted by: PaintingChef | October 10, 2006 at 12:16 AM
Silly Frema,
Even your junk drawer is not messy. My regular drawers are 40 times junkier than your junk drawer. Next time your here, take a look at the center drawer in this desk...shudder.
Posted by: mjd | October 10, 2006 at 12:36 AM
You are too cute in those pics!!
Posted by: Britt | October 10, 2006 at 11:17 PM
Fun post, FREMA! Cervical positions??? I feel as if I should know to what you're talking bout and I really don't. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I have three kids. OK, my head hurts.
Posted by: Number Twelve | October 11, 2006 at 12:03 AM
Hey, I asked some weird questions, huh?
But FUN answers, Frema.
And yes: junk drawers are designed to live in the kitchen. O fthis I'm convinced. Our kitchen has, count them, 2 drawers. One for utensils. And another for...yep. Junk. We have ZERO storage in our kitchen, yet we still have managed to maintain a junk drawer. Ours is filled with 6 years worth of leases, appliance literatures, and a billion take out menus. Yet we only ever order from the same 4 restaurants. Go figure.
Oh, and cat nip.
Our cats have actually figured out how to open the cabinet door underneath the junk drawer, crawl in the back, stick their paws in the back of the drawer, push the drawer open, crawl back out of the cabinet, and hop up in to the drawer to get at the aforementioned cat nip.
Not that you asked... :-)
Posted by: Lizzy in the City | October 11, 2006 at 03:11 PM
Yeah, I'm sorry, but your junk drawer just doesn't qualify. There needs to be at least four things in a junk drawer that you either swear you've never seen before in your life, OR? That you just have no idea how it works, what it's used for, or why you have it. If you even thought of labeling it in photoshop, it's not junky enough! But I LIKE that about you, Frema!
Posted by: Art Nerd Lauren | October 11, 2006 at 07:10 PM
Now I've got that dreadful song in my head. You canoodling with soap stars is cracking me up. Mark actually does look muy jealous.
Posted by: Fraulein N | October 11, 2006 at 09:23 PM
From the context of your writing, I'm thinking this is your only junk drawer, which makes it an even sorrier excuse for one. Sorry! I have Three junk draws in the kitchen, one junk cupboard, a junk drawer in both bureaus, one in the desk and one more in the TVs entertainment center. I often contemplate the deeper meanings behind these occurances. It's as complex as the assortment of things contained within.
Posted by: Anonymous | October 13, 2006 at 11:32 PM
I love the junk drawer concept. I have taken to homogeneous toy boxes. I really like the idea of stuff being somewhere together. The idea of the sox drawer is nice,also. Restful.
Posted by: daddy d | October 14, 2006 at 12:36 AM
A whole week has gone by without you, me or Silly Hily posting...(My week has been boring b/c I don't read many!)
But I just wrote one for mine - so jump to it! We miss you!
Posted by: Jenabeeb | October 14, 2006 at 02:55 AM
"Your mom." HA!
Dude, I forgot all about Justin from Party of Five.
Posted by: Silly Hily | October 17, 2006 at 03:11 PM