When I went to use the bathroom after lunch this afternoon, I headed straight for the first stall, my stall, my favorite stall, the one where the majority of my corporate ones and twos take place. Before I could unsnap my corduroys, something shiny caught my eye, and what did I see but a quarter and a nickel nestled comfortably at the bottom of the toilet bowl.
Unfortunate events can take place in the john. The heels of my shoes catch on the hem of my dress slacks all the freakin' time, so often in fact that last week I shelled out four seventy-five at the local alternations joint just to restore their wearability. However, I'm having a hard time imagining the circumstances under which a lavatory might be transformed into a wishing well. Was the owner of the coins holding on to them while taking care of business? Did they fall out of her pockets when she pulled up her pants? But how is that possible, unless you're the sort of woman who puts your pants back on with your @$$ hanging over the toilet seat? And if you ARE that sort of woman, why? Why do you do that? Don't you know that's a great way to lose thirty cents?
Rather than contemplate the mental state of my female coworkers, I just backed the hell out of there and made myself comfortable in the second stall. Ain't no way I'm gonna be the one responsible for sending THAT through the waste pipe.
...And so concludes NaBloPoMo! May she rest in peace. Until next year.
Aren't you so proud of me you could spit?
P.S. A friendly reminder that all swap participants are to mail their cheddar-cheesy love song CDs tomorrow, although it's probably unnecessary, seeing as I received my first one yesterday. YESTERDAY, people. Are y'all trying to make me look bad?
See, I thought you meant we had to mail our CDs *on* December 1, not *by* December 1. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Posted by: Dawnie | November 30, 2006 at 06:41 PM
Hooray for you, on not dipping for the change, and for NaBloPoMo!
I will miss your daily entries. I am sure Luke will not.
So excited for swappin day tomorrow (which, if said by an seventh grader, would probably mean something completely different.)
:0)
Posted by: Lost A Sock | November 30, 2006 at 06:51 PM
Dawn: That IS what I meant, and I'm sticking to it, too! I was very careful not to use the word "by" in the guidelines.
Posted by: Frema | November 30, 2006 at 07:04 PM
The post office beckons me, at least, it will, on my lunch tomorrow! YAY! So excited!
Posted by: Art Nerd Lauren | November 30, 2006 at 07:32 PM
I need to look into a tailor for my clothes. I have some skirts that are out of style, but would be great if altered a bit. I wonder what that costs.
Um...what does this have to do with your post? Nothing really.
Hooray for making it through the month. You're my hero.
And my cd's went out yesterday!!!
Posted by: Isabel | November 30, 2006 at 08:22 PM
I have my own stall too!
I have to finish burning mine tonight so I can take them to the post office tomorrow! We are in eths ame group, so I wonder when I will get mine! woohooo!
Posted by: mk | November 30, 2006 at 08:52 PM
Well, considering that we are expecting a foot of snow here in Chicagoland between tonight and tomorrow, the post office may not see me until Saturday - and for that I apologize.
And I loved the image of a toilet being a wishing well! You think of such clever things!
Posted by: Jenabeeb | December 01, 2006 at 12:20 AM
Oh, and once my cell phone feel from the waist of my pants into the toilet at Molly's house. So things like that ARE possible. I dried that sucker with a hair dryer and it continued working! Unbelievable!
Posted by: Jenabeeb | December 01, 2006 at 12:22 AM
Even though I said that I was burning mine the other day,I didn't do it. I keep changing my mind as to what songs I include. I make a songlist and it seems great at that moment. But when I go back and play it I feel like they are all wrong. My pooping around all this time means that I am now sitting in a room that is 49 degrees. It got really cold yesterday and snowed and thats what I get.
Posted by: debi | December 01, 2006 at 01:25 AM
CD's going out this weekend! Sorry - first semester law school finals are a little more difficult than I thought! (not like I thought they were going to be a cakewalk, but STILL!!)
Posted by: Jessi | December 01, 2006 at 02:07 PM
I have had a rash of things-falling-into-the-toilet incidents. A few weeks ago, my driver's license fell into the toilet. Ew, ew, ew! Let's hope that Lysol truly has the disinfecting powers it touts.
At least it fell into my own toilet. That makes me feel a little better.
Posted by: Kelley | December 01, 2006 at 02:09 PM
You all make me giggle. I live such a dull life.
Aunt Ruthie
Posted by: Anonymous | December 01, 2006 at 04:52 PM
So proud of you for blogging every day. But you can't rest yet! Remember "baby names, coveting, and underage drinking." I need my Tragic Love Friday fix. (All I have to say is one of the possible names better not be Harmony or something like that.)
-The best lurker ever!
Posted by: Anonymous | December 01, 2006 at 06:07 PM
Hooray for a post everyday!!!
Posted by: butterflygirl | December 02, 2006 at 01:05 AM