Remember that episode of Friends where Chandler laments having a gym membership he never uses? And he tries to quit but is persuaded by some chesty trainer to give it another go? And Joey tries to help Chandler stick to his guns but ends up registering for a membership of his own?
Yeah. The YMCA may not employ booby women, and I don't have a friend named Joey, but I do have a gym membership collecting dust as we speak.
When Luke and I jumped on the fitness bandwagon in July, never had I been more excited about commiting to a monthly sixty-nine-dollar payment. I outlined a four-day regimen that involved strength-training, brisk walks on the treadmill, and one or two step classes taught by a fifty-three-year-old Vietnam Vet who's entire fat index is probably equal to the flab parked in my left buttock. I enjoyed exercising; I'd go right after work and it raised my energy level for the rest of the night. It encouraged me to monitor my food intake and buy cute little ankle socks at Target. High off the fumes of athleticism, I estimated the extra pounds plaguing my mid-section would melt away by fall, bidding a fond farewell along with seventy-degree weather, campfires, and snow cones.
But soon there were problems. Exercising at the Y means sweating at the Y, and by the time I reached home my armpits were emitting a distinct odor not unlike a banana peel that's been sitting in the trash for two days. Luke would say, "Why don't you shower?" So I would shower, but then I was faced with the chore of styling my hair, which requires about twenty minutes of wrapping one-inch sections around my index finger, furious scrunching, and blow-drying with a diffuser. The first time I did it, I thought, "Great! One less thing to do in the morning!" But then I'd wake up to find the left side matted to my ear in a such a way that no amount of fluffing or spritzing or any other -ings could overcome.
This might seem trivial, but it presented a huge problem for me. The only person excited about styling my hair for forty minutes is my stylist, and that's only because I tip thirty percent. So, my options were to a) shower without washing my hair, b) shower, wash hair, allow hair to air dry, and shower and style for real in the morning, thus allowing me to eliminate the stink with little extra effort, or c) not shower at all, light a candle, and hope for the best. None of these solutions were particularly appealing, seeing as the first still left me with sweaty hair, the second put a damper (quite literally) on any activities that required leaving the house, and the third stuck Luke with a smelly wife.
Other excuses to avoid the gym included not wanting to revolve all our week nights around going to and recovering from the gym and my intense digust at the notion of primping for an hour and a half every day just to undo it all before Luke had a chance to fully appreciate my hotness. Yesterday I felt like quite the sass in my New York and Company outfit, complete with f-me boots, and the thought of greeting him after work in a bare face and cross-trainers made me want to cry. The things I do for the sake of my marriage.
There are thirty-one days in October, and I spent maybe five of them at the gym. It was getting to the point where I started to question whether or not it made sense to throw in the towel and give up on the Y altogether. Luke and I are not rich by any means, and we can't afford to throw away almost a hundred dollars a month for a service we're not using. On the other hand, once I get myself there, I love the Y passionately and vow to decimate anybody who even hints that we're no longer meant to be. There's also that pesky thorn in my side called high cholesterol I can't ignore any longer. It's not bad right now, but if it continues to climb, I'll have to take medication, and if I take medication, I can't get pregnant. Which is kind of critical to Luke and I having a baby.
Anyway, to make a long story a tad shorter, Luke and I talked it over last night, and we've decided the best way to overcome all these issues is to hit the gym before we hit the office, which will sadly involve adhering to a strict bed time and calling it quits with the alarm clock's snooze button, but it'll allow us to maintain our health and control our water supply in one fell swoop. Monday will mark the first day of our latest attempt at an active and healthy lifestyle. Wish us luck.
I look forward to your updates detailing success! GOOD for you. Lord knows I don't have the willpower to do such things. Before I met my husband, I went to the gym each day after work. I loved it, just used the treadmill, but I loved doing something. My husband was doing his own thing. Since the day we met, neither of us has attempted anything like it. Ah well.
Posted by: mhutchinson | November 03, 2006 at 04:56 PM
That's what I was thinking, "why don't you go before work?". Of course, this is coming from a person that just put her gym membership "on hold" until further notice because I'm too tired in the morning and too tired to go after work.
Posted by: Leslie | November 03, 2006 at 04:57 PM
Man, Frema, you're making me jealous over here! I wanted to join a gym so badly. I know which one I want, and I know that I'll get about 200 bucks back from my health insurance if I keep with it 3x a week.
Frema, think of me, sitting here with my rank pink fiberglass foot propped up under my desk. I would like to work out, was just about to join a gym when I fell. Consider me your own private "starving child in Africa would be happy to have your leftovers" inspiration. :)
Posted by: Art Nerd Lauren | November 03, 2006 at 05:11 PM
Good luck! I bought a gym membership about 3 years ago and I went quite a bit for about, oh, 2 months. I really loved it. Working out made me feel so good afterwards and I even starting taking some of the yoga classes they offered and loooooved them. But, I was a single mom at the time and, even though they had a daycare (I was paying monthly for that too) it still just got too hard to go. I hope you and Luke can stick with it better than me. And, hey, exercising regularly can make be pregnant a lot easier too, another incentive. Great pic by the way.
Posted by: Rachel | November 03, 2006 at 05:46 PM
Love the outfit! And the boots! And NY & Company, with their affordable clothes and tendency to label everything a size smaller than the reality, thus bolstering my ego!
I have the same showering dilemma whenever I work-out (which is...uh, not too often). It's always about my hair, my freaking hair. If I had more angular features I swear I would chop it all off.
Posted by: Kelley | November 03, 2006 at 06:38 PM
as smart as I...not me. :)
Posted by: CawfeeGuy | November 03, 2006 at 06:44 PM
Actually, cawfeeguy, a writing professor I had in grad school said that "me" is perfectly acceptable. Maybe he's a radical, but his explanation made sense at the time. Damn if I can remember it now, though.
Posted by: Frema | November 03, 2006 at 06:47 PM
Goodness, you sound like me. I have had the exact same thoughts about the gym.
Posted by: marsha | November 03, 2006 at 06:48 PM
I am TOTALLY feeling ya on this: "But then I'd wake up to find the left side matted to my ear in a such a way that no amount of fluffing or spritzing or any other -ings could overcome."
This post made me laugh my head off!
Posted by: lizziep901 | November 03, 2006 at 07:04 PM
And you look totally HOT in that pic!!
Posted by: lizziep901 | November 03, 2006 at 07:05 PM
You look great. So I know people have probably said "oh you don't need to go to the health club". However if you go to the health club you will always look like you don't need to go. Does that make sense????
Posted by: Um Ibrahim | November 03, 2006 at 07:15 PM
By the way a secret is only a secret if you know it.
Posted by: Um Ibrahim | November 03, 2006 at 07:22 PM
I set my alarm for 5:15 so I could get up and go to the gym before work. I hit snooze for an entire 30 minutes before deciding to just skip and go back to sleep. How lame is that?
Posted by: Lindsey | November 03, 2006 at 10:45 PM
I should not comment because we do not exercise at all. But a few years back, Daddy D and I were very good about exercising. We had a schedule, and we stuck to the schedule. I have heard and read that scheduling is the secret, and setting aside a specific time for the exercise worked for us. Moreover, being part of a class helped us maintain our schedule. Unfortunately , the only time many busy people have is in the morning at the proverbial crack of dawn.
Posted by: mjd | November 04, 2006 at 12:26 AM
Good luck.
Posted by: butterflygirl | November 04, 2006 at 01:06 AM
I fell behind on comments, on only the third day of this month-long Frema fest.
Just have to say, you are Workin. It. You look great! Gym shmim. (That's what my twix bar is telling me riiiight now...)
Posted by: Lost A Sock | November 04, 2006 at 01:39 PM
Crap, my hair has been an everlasting thorn in the side of my exercise-less life! I know where you're coming from.
Best of luck waking up in the morning! I hope you can stick to it.
Posted by: Elizabeth | November 05, 2006 at 10:39 PM
Good idea ... mornings are fresh. You are right about the evening bed time. The candle can not be on fire at each end for every long. There will be times that it just does not happen, but that is OK. Most days it will work for you.
Posted by: daddy d | November 06, 2006 at 12:59 AM
Good luck Frema! Remember - you've done it before (sorry, read ahead, I'm a few days behind)
Oh, and my Friends OCD makes me tell you that it was Ross, not Joey that went with Chandler to quit the gym...:)
Posted by: Jessi | November 06, 2006 at 03:42 PM
Jessi - You are so right! As the proud owner of all ten DVD box sets, I'm so embarrassed.
Posted by: Frema | November 06, 2006 at 05:35 PM
Um, have I told you before how stinkin' cute you are? I'm totally jealous of your NY&Co outfit and f-me boots!
I'm so glad you realized that going early in the morning is the way to go. It really is a fabulous time to exercise. It starts your day off right and give it a week or two and you will REALLY notice you have more energy throughout the day. Your body will adjust and getting up in the morning won't be so hard. You will actually look forward to it. Promise. And if you can get used to going to the gym early in the morning this time of year, then when spring arrives, well, 5:00 will seem like 9:00. E-mail me if you need any further encouragement!
Posted by: Silly Hily | November 07, 2006 at 04:57 PM
Good luck.
(And I think you AND THE BANGS are HOTT!)
Posted by: Isabel | November 07, 2006 at 08:38 PM
You tip 30%? Wow! Of course I know how important your hair is to you - and how you love your Chgo stylist!
Posted by: Jenabeeb | November 10, 2006 at 02:24 AM