Only two posts this week? Bah. I totally had plans to update last night, but they were pushed aside in favor of sharing a spaghetti and pumpkin cheesecake feast with our friends and meeting my required annual dose of A Very Brady Christmas, something Luke vehemently despises but still went along with because Jamie and Yancy are cool people and birthed enough witty one-liners to make the viewing more tolerable. Plus, if he said no, he knew he'd just have to watch it with me alone, and I doubt that's how he wanted to spend his last evening at home before Christmas.
Yes, you heard right, our last evening at home. Tomorrow morning we will pack up enough underwear and toiletries to last through Tuesday, as we'll be spending this weekend with my family in Chicago and Monday and Tuesday with his folks in Merrillville. My mother's side of the family is hosting a party that brings us to the area twenty-four hours earlier than usual, and his parents will have one the day after Christmas, extending our stay by one day. Unfortunately, Luke has to report to the office bright and early Wednesday morning, so we'll make the drive back to Indy after the party. I myself will work just one day out of five; I'm leaning towards Thursday so I can enjoy another three-day weekend.
Since the days leading up to New Year's will be so hectic for us, Luke and I decided to open our presents from each other last night. I rejoiced in receiving the first season of Bones (how is it that I just started watching this show? I. LOVE. IT) and a long-desired pair of sneakers, among other things, while he expressed delight over my reserving two seats at a Jerry Seinfeld show in March. Also, duckie paper clips! Isn't life grand?
If you posed that question to Kayla, I'm betting her answer would be, "Not so much."
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PART TWO
CHAPTER FOUR - CASSIE
(One month later)
I was stretched out on my bedroom floor doing some yoga exercises when I heard a knock at my door. Knowing it was David, I yelled "Come in!"
My brother burst into my room, grinning from ear to ear. "Guess what? Steiner gave me a promotion! You are now looking at the new assistant manager of McDonald's!" [Who wouldn't rejoice over the loss of a high school diploma?]
"Impressive!" I got up and hugged him. "Congratulations. Jenna must be estatic that her boyfriend will be working harder than ever so she doesn't have to get off her lazy butt," I added. [Damn pregnant women and their unwillingness to earn their keep!]
David pulled away from me. "Don't start, Cassie. The girl's pregnant. She can't exactly be running all over the place when she's going to give birth in 2 months."
I softened. "Sorry, Dave. I didn't mean to start a fight." I flopped on my bed. "So, are you guys making plans to move in together or get married yet?"
He nodded. "Jenna's been looking at the vacant apartment ads in the newspaper, and she thinks that she's found a few places that we can check out."
"When are you two getting hitched?"
David looked unhappy when he answered, "A week or two after the baby's born." [This seemed so logical to me at the time, but now I'm all, "What's the rush? The kid's already a bastard."]
[Nothing against bastards, by the way. My own parents didn't marry until I was old enough to pick up my head.]
"You don't sound as excited as I thought you would," I commented. He shrugged. "It's just happening so fast. Marriage, fatherhood...it's a lot to handle."
"I thought you were so happy about how things were turning out! God, everyone has been so depressing to be with lately! Always complaining, or moping, or something!"
My brother looked amused. "What do you mean?"
"Well, you're always talking about the BAD things of things that are good [hello, Awkward Phrasing], and Michael mopes around because he doesn't have a girlfriend. Jenna's hormones are all I hear about when I decide to talk to her. 'Oh, the baby's making my hormones out of wack.' That's her excuse for acting like she's been having PMS all month! No matter what you say, David," I told him, shaking a finger at him, "not all pregnant women are crabby women. And Kayla's just plain depressed. She's sick, though, so maybe that's why she's acting so weird."
"Weird? Sick? What's wrong with Kayla?" David asked, looking concerned.
'Well, she's been throwing up a lot. She complains about how sore she is all the time, and my God! Now this girl eats like a pig!" [Oh goodness, what ever could be the matter?]
David looked worried, so I added, "Don't worry, she'll be OK! It's probably just the flu."
Looking relieved, he cried, "Oh, that's good!" [Because Mickey D's pays well, but not THAT well, know what I'm sayin'?]
"Yeah." I got up. "Well, I'm going to Kayla's house for a while. See ya."
When I got there, my friend was crying. She'd been doing that a lot, too. "What's wrong?" I cried. She took a deep breath. "Cassie, I'm scared," she whispered.
"Scared? Why?"
Kayla's body started to tremble. Finally she said "Oh God help me, I think I might be pregnant."
For a moment there was silence, then I laughed nervously. "Kayla, in order to get pregnant, you had to have had sex." [Don't you hate having to point out such obvious things to your friends?]
"I did!" she cried, pacing back and forth. "Cassie, help me."
I was in shock. "Who did you...do it with?"
"That's the worst part," she sobbed. "He cant help me if I AM pregnant. There's no way!"
I took her by the shoulders and shook her. [What, babies love that!] "Who, dammit!?" [This is all so very Lifetime I can't stand it.]
She looked at me with shame. "It's David."
I let go of her. "You've got to be joking!" She shook her head. "He's the only one I've ever slept with."
[Cassie's reaction is a little uncalled for, isn't it? I mean, the two did date for almost two years, David has a track record of screwing around, and Kayla was visibly upset over the boy just a month ago. Their tryst isn't really that shocking.]
"Wow, Kayla." My head was spinning. "What can I do?"
"Can you help me choose a pregnancy test?"
"Of course I will." I squeezed her hand. "We'll go now, if you want." She nodded.
I drove us to the nearest drug store and led Kayla to the isle where the at-home pregnancy tests were at. "Have you done this before?" she asked suspiciously. I bit my lip. "Yeah. I helped Jenna when she went for her test." [?]
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"It wasn't a big deal. Forget about Jenna and concentrate on you."
"What kind of test do I need?" I tried to remember what kind Jenna got. "You should get something that gives fast results, is easy to take, and cheap." [Frema, M.D. at your service!]
"That's it?" I nodded. "No matter how reliable the test says it is, there's always the chance that it could be wrong. You'll need to see a doctor." [What am I doing working at a lab? I should REALLY be writing public-service announcements and commercials for First Response.]
We ended up picking the famous EPT test. The cashier looked disgusted with us when Kayla bought the item.
[When I bought my first test, I went to the local Wal-Mart. Afraid the clerk would take a similar attitude with me, I threw in an exra-large purple sweatshirt as a distraction. No, I'm not scared shitless at the idea of having a baby. I buy these all the time! Along with poorly made clothing! Which, in hindsight, probably left a much sluttier impression than the one I was trying to avoid. That sweatshirt was hideous.]
Back at her house, I was reading through the instructions when I thought of something. "Hey, Kay, how many days late is your period?"
"17." That's when I was positive she was pregnant. I kept my mouth shut, not wanting to worry her any further.
The test told her to urinate in a special cup included in the box. Then she was supposed to stick the applicator in the cup and leave it in there for 1 minute. If the stick turned pink, it was positive; Blue meant negative. [I should so patent this. Pink equals positive. Easy!]
A minute later, Kayla threw out the pink applicator. I tried to say something that would help. "It could be wrong," I suggested, but she wasn't listening. She had curled up on the bathroom floor and closed her eyes. "No, I'm pregnant," she whispered. "I can feel it. David's baby is inside me." [You can't tell I was a soap watcher, can you?]
"What are you gonna do?" I asked, kneeling beside her. "You could abort it, or give it up for adoption..."
"No," she stated firmly. "This baby is part of me. I want to keep him."
"How are you gonna tell David?"
"I don't know, Cassie. I really don't know."
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In the event my posts continue to be sporadic, have a wonderful holiday weekend. Also, thank your lucky stars you aren't a seventeen-year-old future baby momma with no boyfriend, no job, and no common sense. Unless you are, in which case, my sympathies.
GAHHH! I checked your blog at 8:30 this morning because I had already announced (at 1AM) after my sister and I had finished putting away our groceries, that it was Tragic Love Friday! I'm addicted!!!
Bless you this holiday season for bringing me the greatest joy, the return of my soap opera love and obsession. Bless you:)
PS- TWO babies?! Oh David... I see a future, if not with McDonalds, than as a professional sperm donor.
Posted by: Sant | December 22, 2006 at 01:05 PM
HOLY CRAP!
I totally did not see this turn of events coming. David has two baby mommas! He better move on to Arby's or something. They have to pay a *little* better.
Merry Christmas, if I don't talk to you first. :0)
Posted by: Molly | December 22, 2006 at 01:13 PM
hey can I get david's digits?
Posted by: Adina | December 22, 2006 at 11:21 PM
Well I think we saw this coming. I think for Christmas someone needs to pay for a vasectomy for our dear David.Even if he doesn't end up with either of these wonderful girls he will not be able to afford more kids with anyone else. Maybe they could all move in together and one of the girls could take care of the babies while the other one worked at the drive thu at McDonalds with David.Hmmm.
Have a Very Merry Christmas Frema. Opening your gifts before Christmas?? Santa will find out you know.
Posted by: debi | December 23, 2006 at 11:41 PM
The pace of life is very fast. But the things that need to get done get done. I am going to change my productive work output by working on project on a time schedule. By tht I mean to have a day or time to do regular stuff, such as to pay the bills, to study, and even to play.
Maybe, that regular scheduled time frame will get more things done over the next year.
Posted by: daddy d | December 26, 2006 at 09:25 AM
This is hilarious - I just found out that my cousin's cousin did the same thing - two babies born by different mothers within a month of each other!
Posted by: Katie | December 26, 2006 at 02:28 PM
Kayla, Kayla, Kayla. Did you not learn anything in Sex Ed? If you have sex before marriage, you WILL get pregnant and get an STD and die. I would like to know what little STD Mr. Super Sperm is passing around b/c surely he's got something.
I love that the only time she calls her "Kay" is when she asks how many days late she is. Because you know, that's such a casual question and all. Like, "Hey, Kay, pass the butter please." "Hey, Kay, let's figure out when David's super sperm decided to tell Aunt Flo to take a vaca."
"In which case, my sympathies." Bwaa-haa-haaaa.
Posted by: Silly Hily | December 26, 2006 at 02:28 PM
Tragic Love Friday continues to remind me what a naive high schooler I was. I could not have told you what yoga was in high school, much less how to take a pregnancy test. You continue to amaze me, Frema.
Posted by: Emily | December 26, 2006 at 10:13 PM
Frema! I have not checked your blog FOREVER and I finally had a marathon of catching up a few nights ago. Let me just say...I love your writing, and I'm also hooked on Tragic Love Fridays...thank you for feeding my inner 13 year old girl :)
Posted by: Stacey | December 27, 2006 at 08:05 PM
Okay, I admit to not seeing this coming. Which is odd, since this totally happened to a friend of mine. She was pargo (at 15) and her boyfriend (who was like 13) got her best friend pregnant AT THE SAME TIME. She gave hers up, the other girl kept hers. (Of course I didn't meet my friend until she was older, so I missed at all drama!)
Anyway, I was also amazed that you knew what yoga was at that age. I didn't know yoga existed until I moved to Seattle.
And also...HOLY CRAP THIS IS AWESOME and I am ashamed I wasn't reading this all along. But I would not have been able to wait a week in between episodes, so it's better this way.
Frema, I heart you long time!
Posted by: Isabel | March 17, 2007 at 06:03 PM
You sure knew quite a bit about how to take a pregnancy test at 14! I didn't have the pleasure of buying a pregnancy test at Walmart, hands shaking and face bright red, until I was 19. And then I did the test in the public restroom, which was oh so clean and sanitary, because I couldn't wait until I got home (plus I couldn't risk my mom finding it in the garbage). Those were possibly the worst 5 minutes of my life (because I took 3 tests, to be sure, of course).
Thank the dear lord they were all negative. I would have been in as bad a predicament as poor Kayla.
Posted by: Pink Herring | March 20, 2007 at 12:20 PM
You bought a big purple sweatshirt from WalMart? Why would you do that to yourself? Oh yes, and this chapter was friggin awesome! OMG!
Posted by: HollowSquirrel | March 30, 2007 at 01:44 PM