Tragic Love Friday

TGI to the muthaf*cking F.

The work week after a lengthy vacation is always hard. Getting sick makes it harder. Throw in the anticipation of the first weekend since mid-December that you and your husband can enjoy each other at home, and it's almost unbearable.

This means I'm not in for lots of blah blah before jumping right in to TLF. In addition to typing out text and adding my oh-so-witty commentary, I also fulfilled the promise I made in last week's comments to provide you with photos for the characters featured in the story. Everyone still pretty much looks like this in my head, with the exception of David. NOW I imagine him as Eric from That Seventies Show, but when I was a teenager, he more closely embodied an adolescent version of Randy Wooten, my unrequited childhood love. Why haven't I written a post about him yet?

And now, on with the soon-to-be-bloody show.

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CHAPTER SIX - KAYLA

I called Cassie right after Jenna's phone call, and she rushed right over.

"I don't know what to do," I cried. "David cant and wont leave Jenna, now that she's so far along in her pregnancy. I'm going to need financial support. How can I get what I need from him if he's sending money to her?" [Baby daddies stretched too thin: Next Oprah.]

"You need to get rid of her," Cassie said suddenly. "Then David can give you everything you and your baby deserve."

[Um, I was just going to suggest getting a laywer and suing his ass, but murder works, too.]

I was stunned. "You cant be serious."

"I am."

"But...what about her baby?" [What about her LIFE?]

"You're having a baby now. Don't worry about Jenna's."

My mind was racing. "I can't believe we're talking about this!" Cassie grabbed my arm. "Listen to me! You worry about the messy details now, but when you've got a screaming sick baby, and David can't send you enough money because he's supporting HER brat, you'll wish you'd just killed the bitch!" [So Lifetime!] She let go of my arm, and I glared at her. My friend softened a little. "I'm sorry I yelled, but you need to know ALL your options. If you and Jenna both have Dave's baby, someone's gonna get the short end of the stick. And that person will be YOU, Kayla. You and your baby."

"How--how could I do it?" I asked, swallowing hard. [Apparently one can be talked into the homicide of a pregnant woman in eight seconds. Who knew?]

"A simple car accident is all it's gonna take. [This just might be my favorite line of dialogue EVER.] And Kayla, you won't be alone. I'll help you every step of the way."

"Are you sure it would work?" I whispered.

"Leave it to me. I'll plan everything out." [That's what friends are for!]

I closed my eyes. "OK. Let's do it."

* * *
The next few days were spent planning "the accident." What I was going to do with Cassie didn't sound so bad when I called it that. Meanwhile, Cassie kept me informed about David and Jenna. She still wouldn't talk to him.

After 5 days, the plotting was done. We only had one problem. "How can we be sure where Jenna is?" I asked. Cassie shrugged. "Lately, David's been following her every move. I'll find out from him." [Why not follow the victim instead? Amateurs.]

"Nobody else can get hurt," I declared. "It's bad enough I'm killing one person." [It really is!]

"Don't worry," Cassie told me. "Everything will be OK."

"I hope so."

CHAPTER SEVEN - CASSIE

Today was the day we decided to put "the accident" into effect, and I was starting to feel nervous for the first time. What if something went wrong?

At home, I waited for David. I needed to find out from him where Jenna would be. Finally, he walked through the door. "Hey, Dave!"

He smiled halfheartedly and sat at the kitchen table. I joined him. "What's wrong?" He buried his face in his hands, and I could barely hear what he was saying. "Everything. Steiner's always on my back, Mom decided to go on another vacation, and Jenna still wont talk to me."

"When was the last time you tried talking to her?" I asked, wheels turning in my head.

"Yesterday. I called her and she hung up on me." A tear rolled down my brother's face. "She'll never forgive me."

I gave him a hug. "Dont give up on her Davey!" A thought occured to me. "David, call her right now."

"Why bother?"

"Because she can't ignore you forever."

Slowly, he picked up the phone and dialed her number. "Hello? Jenna, it's David--Please don't hang up! Here me out! Yeah....I'm so sorry, Jenna. I never meant to---I know."

Their conversation went on for a few minutes, then David hung up. A dazed smile was on his face. "She's agreed to talk to me. I'm going to take her out for ice cream." [If he REALLY wanted to save money, he should've just taken her to his Mickey D's franchise and thrown his weight around a bit. I'm sure Steiner would've tossed the pregnant lady a sundae.]

I grinned. "Great! What ice cream place are you taking her to?"

"We're just going to Dairy Queen." He grabbed his coat and ran out the door. "Thanks for the advice, Cas. I'll see you later."

"Good luck," I yelled. Then I called Kayla. "Kayla, I'm picking you up. We've got work to do." [Time to destroy my only brother's joy and happiness by killing his unborn daughter! Then, Blizzards!]

By the time we got to Dairy Queen, David's car was already in the parking lot. I could see them in the window. Next to me, Kayla was squirming around. "Let's switch seats now," I said. She looked confused. "You're going to be the one to hit her," I said. "Don't you want to be?" She nodded and took her place in the driver's seat.

[No mention of disguises, rental cars, inconspicuous hiding places--not even a pair of binoculars! My dead dog could've hatched a better plan.]

A half hour later, Jenna and my brother came out of the ice cream place. They were holding hands. Kayla's face looked distorted with anger. Her hands gripped the wheel.

They didn't go to David's car. Jenna pointed to a baby's clothing store across the street.

[But David was free! If he knew he didn't love Jenna, why go back to her? Why not just call it quits and offer to pay child support so he could be with the woman he actually wanted? Men are so stupid, I swear.]

"Start the car," I ordered. Kayla slowly pulled out of the lot. They were in the middle of the street. "Now!" I shouted.

The car's speed was heading towards 60 as Kayla drove towards Jenna.

At that moment, David looked up and saw the car, and a frightened look came upon his face. Jenna was a few steps ahead of him. She, too, noticed the car, but Kayla was now driving at 80. There was no way Jenna could get out of the way in time. [No way could she get up to that fast a speed without anybody noticing. There'd be a dozen dead bodies in her wake before she ever reached those two.]

I shut my eyes and held on to the seat for dear life.

SMACK!! The car whammed into somebody. Kayla screamed, but I knew we were successful when I heard Jenna's terrified cries.

The deed had been done.

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OK, so what the hell do you think just happened?

Comments

[Silly Hily]

OH hell no you did NOT just leave us hanging like that on TLF. Frema! You bitch. Smack. Oops, sorry, got caught up in the....

David pushed Jenna out of the way and HE is the one who dies. Kayla killed the babies daddy and now both of the chicks are screwed (twice over I guess, gedit...screwed...ladies and gents, she's on a roll).

Your commentary was fabulous, as always. I had no idea Cassie was so.....evil!

[Erika]

Okay first of all, with the "bloody show" I thought someone was about to go into labor. Or Kayla would have a miscarriage. IS THAT GROSS OR WHAT?!

Second of all - did she hit David?? With her eyes shut or something? Surely she hit him. Not sure if he's dead.

[Jessi]

David's dead! David's dead! Love it, love it, love it! :)

[Isabel]

Wait, is David played by Topher Grace?

(Because he's the only person I've ever written a fan letter to and I was planning to post about that sometime soon. PERFECT!)

[David McNelis aka Sir Arthur Conan Doyle]

Well, I've been reading a bit of Sherlock Holmes lately and the facts are quite elementary by dear Frema. As the pair heard Kayla scream we can only conclude that she had the faculties to scream. The pair heard nothing of David however, whom, if not hit, would have been terrified and yelling or screaming.

Subsequently the only conceivable conclusion is that David was the one struck by the moving horseless carriage, not Kayla.

We'll not get into the trouble of how one could hear a human voice from the inside of a a car moving 80mph away from said voice in a DQ parking lot.

[Katie]

Wow!! I never saw this coming! I agree that she killed David. I can't believe you're going to make us wait a week to find out. I guess Kayla never thought about what it would be like to give birth in jail!

[Angela]

Okay, so... this reminds me of that one Lifetime movie where there's the two military academy cadets and the guy cheats on the girlfriend with some other girl and then the girlfriend is like, "you have to kill her!" and he's like "Okay!" and then they do--like "You have know all of your options!" Ha! I think it had something to do with green sheep though too.

This is hilarious, I can't wait until next week!

[Molly]

Holy Crap! (Have I said that in the last seven TLF entries or what?)

DAVID'S DEAD, MOFO!

Now nobody gets the baby daddy money. Or, all could be taken care of if your 14 year old mind brings social security checks into the storyline.

[Silly Hily]

Just had to say I'm laughing so hard right now b/c I new the second I read "holy crap" that it was Molly's comment. (I have to come back and read the comments for TLF to see what everyone else thinks. I know, I'm sad.)

[daddy d]

Yes, one week off makes it hard to come back to work. But then two weeks maybe be harder. I hope not, for it all begins again on Monday: F=ma,PV = nRT and all the rest such as Q=mcDeltT.

[Elizabeth]

Holy crap, I thought they would find some way to cut the brakes in her car or something, not run her over! That just goes to show what lack of public funding does for schools: no automtive classes.
Also? Cassie must really hate that Jenna.

And I think it was David that got hit. There is no way Jenna could have survived a hit from an 80mph car. David must've shoved her out of the way!

[Art Nerd]

*falling down dead*

How am I going to wait until Friday? It's David, it must be. Orrrr, she missed completely, hit some little old lady or something, or worse a DOG, and the impact makes her fetus die. OR something. I'm just throwing some options out there. It's important that you know them all.

Whatever happened to the Great American Catfight, anyway? Post-natal, of course.

[Sant]

Well shit. It's David. He's either dead or HORRIBLY disfigured. Probably dead though... Hey, when you were leading up to the 80 miles an hour, did anybody else's brain throw a switch and think you were waiting for the Flux Copassitor to kick in? 1.21 Jiggawatts? Anyone? Buhler?

Fabulous commentary as always Frema, and props to an all-star line up. Once I saw the soap star faces, I knew they were bitch enough to do something crazy like this. Hey, also, if David IS dead, he may return in a few episodes as someone else-- perhaps this is where the disfigurement and bandages comes in... I'm onto you.

[Emma]

I'm guessing David was hit as well. But it seems sort of obvious so maybe not. But then you were what, 14? So maybe it is him.

[Stacey]

*gasp* It's DAVID! OMG, I can't wait until next Friday. EEEEEE!!!

P.S. I really am 30, but there is a 14 year old girl JUST under the surface...

[Lindsey]

THE SUSPENSE! David is dead! I just know it! This story sure took an unexpected, bloody turn this past week. I really never knew one could be talked into murder so easily. What useful information. Your commentary was great, especially the one about the Blizzard. Mmmm blizzards.

[dee]

At least I didn't read this on Friday. Now I'm two days closer to the next installment!

David is so dead. He pushed her out of the way and got hit instead.

Why, oh why, must I be so hooked on TLF?

[Margarita]

So....SillyHily is all "YOU DON'T READ TLF???" And I'm all..."ummm....no." And then she was all "OMG....YOU ARE NO LONGER MY BFF." And I was all "okay....okay....I'll start reading and I'll catch up." So that's what I've done.
And OMG!! I love it. (Hello 14 year old girl??!!)
And David is TOTALLY dead.
Thanks for sharing Frema!!!

[David McNelis]

My wife and I made a joke about 1.21 gigawatts when we were talking about TLF over the weekend! I'm glad we're not the only freaks!

[Bethiclaus]

I have no idea what happened, but I am totally in the grips of your amazing storytelling.

[Isabel]

Holy crap. (Molly and I are totally going to get along at blogHer!)

David is dead. And so are all of his super sperms. Gasp.

And yeah, when did Cassie turn into such an evil person? Is it because her Mom sleeps around? Where did that all come from?

And now I want a Blizzard.

AWESOME!

[Pink Herring]

Wow, Cassie turned from concerned, caring sister to diabolical murder-plotter in about 1 second. Didn't see that coming.

"Don't you want to do it?" is SO Lifetime movie classic. Don't you want to be popular? Then all you have to do is hang this banner off this building. You won't fall! Don't you want to do it? (-- Dying to Belong, my favorite Lifetime movie ever).

And it's totally David that's dead. Everyone knows that the person who screams can't be dead. BTW, I think that One Tree Hill ripped off this plotline from you last season when preggo Haylie got run over by Dante and then Nathan beat Dante to death, but Nathan's dad took the rap for it to make ammends with himself for killing his brother.

[May]

AAAAAAh! Why do I read this stuff at night? I know I'm not going to be able to sleep until I find out what happens! (and also I need a Blizzard now...) Yay teen angst!