Tragic Love Friday

It's just after one o'clock as I type this and already I've received three inquiries about today's TLF installment, so now's not the time for small talk. Although can I just say again how much I love you guys for indulging me with this? Also, today is my deadline for submitting a brief overview of the one-hour blogging workshop I'm doing for Saint Joe this fall (still no word on the class yet), so if anyone wants to offer thoughts on what would entice you to sign up for such a course, I'm all ears.

Also also, in last week's comments section it was pointed out that the doctor wrongly told Jenna she'd been involved in the accident, since it was actually David who felt the full force of the car's impact. Good eye, Erika!

And on with the show! Remember, all typos remain intact. Just so you don't think I'm a complete moron.

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CHAPTER NINE - KAYLA

Cassie and I were in court, about to be sentenced for our crime. My friend's face had no expression; her eyes had a far away look to them, and I realized that I had lost Cassie, too.

We had our hands cuffed in front of us, and security officers had a firm hold on me [You've really got a hold on me....] but I managed to turn my head and glance at the people present.

My parents were right up front, looking like statues, showing no emotion. I knew I'd hurt them deeply, so deeply that no emotions could express what they felt. (Cassie's mom wasn't there; she was "grieving" in Florida). A few journalists and reporters were there, and a handful of interested bystanders, but that was it.

"All rise for the Honerable Judge Williams," the baliff cried, and I did so nervously. The judge glared at us. "Be seated," he ordered, and glanced over some papers. "Kayla Evans, on the charges of 2 accounts of involentary manslaughter, and 1 charge of attempted murder, how do you plead?"

[Is it even possible for one person to be charged three times for a single death? Thanks for all the insight, People's Court.]

I swallowed down tears. "Guilty, Your Honor."

"Cassie Donovan, on the charges of conspiracy to commit murder and being an accomplice of involentary manslaughter and an accomplice to commit murder [Where's the charge for the kitchen sink?], how do you plead?"

In a loud voice, Cassie said, "I am guilty of all the charges against me, Honerable Judge Williams." Her smile was mad. [Apparently in Frema's world, this is how crazy people act? Somebody hold me, I can't type this anymore.]

[Except I totally can.]

There was a soft titter in the room. The Judge pounded his gavel. He focused on our faces. [Bow chicka bow bow. Also, whaa?]

"It saddens and angers me to have two minors standing before me, waiting to be sentenced for such heinious crimes. [The extra "i" in "heinous" isn't a typo. I actually used to pronounce the word this way until last year. How did I make it past high school?] It's because of people like you that mothers can't even let their children go to the park by themselves. [Is it, though? Because a good talking-to on the benefits of birth control seems so much more applicable here.]

"I have glanced over both of your school records, and both are unblemished. There is also no police record for either of you. However harmless you seem, though, you killed not only an innocent young man, but a helpless fetus. You must be punished." He stared at Cassie.

"Cassie Donovan, I hereby sentence you to 3 years in the state prison, and after a year and a half has been served, if you make parole, you are to then be tranfered to the Women's Sanitariam, where you are to reside for 2 years. Therapy is required."

[Thank God I have an office instead of a cubicle, because I'm laughing out loud right now. At this point it's so obvious I was just pulling shit out of my ass and using any legal word I could remember.]

I glanced at Cassie. Her eyes were closed, and her face was wet with tears. She had been lucky, though. Her lawyer was able to get the involuntary [finally realized there's no "e" in "involuntary"] manslaughter charges dropped because she wasn't the one driving.

Then it was my turn.

"Kayla Evans, I hereby sentence you to 6 years in the State Prison. And though you will not be sent to the Sanitariam [LOL again], therapy is required for all 6 years." He stood up. "This court is adjourned."

"All rise!" shouted the baliff.

Minutes later, Cassie and I were escorted out of the courtroom. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Michael [Welcome back, buddy!] with Jenna in the back.

Jenna looked terrible. Even from far away you could see the circles under her eyes. She looked like she was made of glass. It was a good thing Michael had an arm around her; otherwise she'd probably fall to the floor. [Kayla did wonder why his hand was on Jenna's breast but thought it best not to ask questions.]

You did that to her, I told myself when I was seated in the police car. I was ashamed, for I no longer hated her. The night before, I realized that it wasn't her fault she'd fallen in love with my ex-boyfriend. Love showed up at the weirdest times, and between different people. It was something that could not be ignored.

[I suppose when you kill your ex-best friend's unborn baby and soon-to-be husband you can afford to be generous with forgiveness. Also, is anyone else flashing to mental images of Glenn Close and dead bunnies?]

Yes, she had hurt me. But my pain couldn't compare to her anguish of losing David and her little girl. Jenna hadn't deserved that pain, but I had been selfish, cruel, and downright evil.

[But you're still pregnant, so you win!]

All I could do now was pray to God that Jenna could forgive me. Someday.

(7 MONTHS LATER)

"Michael!" I cried. I got up slowly from my bed to greet my first visitor since I'd arrived in prison.

"Yeah." He hugged me quickly, looking a little uncomfortable. "I - I'm sorry I haven't visited you before. I didn't want to upset Jenna."

I nodded, smiling a little. "I understand. I'm just glad you came to see me, Mike." His eyes looked sad. "I haven't forgiven you, Kayla. Too much damage has been done."

"I know."

"No, I don't think you do," he snapped, anger replacing sadness. "Jenna is still grieving over David and her baby. Do you know that she has nightmares about you? That she dreams of you pulling out her insides? Did you know that she wakes up reaching for her baby? She visits David's grave every week and talks for hours to his tombstone." Michael's voice cracked. "The worst part is, I do everything in my power to help her. I'm at her side always. I make dumb jokes, I take her out, and...I'm still losing her, Kayla." He wiped tears from his eyes, and that's when I realized that he cared for her much more than I could have guessed. I could hear the love in his voice when he said her name. I didn't know how he could take it, being so close to Jenna, yet not letting her know how much he loved her.

[If this were a real soap opera, the above paragraph/scene would be the one submitted for Michael's shot at Best Supporting Actor In A Drama Series.]

He shook his head as if to clear it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you."

I smiled. "Only you, Michael, would apologize to someone who's in jail for murder."

He looked around at my cell. "So, how have things been here with you?" My smile faded. "Not too good. Being in jail is bad enough, but when you're eight months pregnant, it seems 10 times worse."

"When the baby's born, will you be able to take care of it while you're in this place?"

"Only for a year. Then either my parents take care of her or she'll be put in a foster home. And please don't refer to my baby as "it." The baby's going to be a girl."

[Do you like how flippant Kayla is about future housing arrangements for her child? Also, with my intimate and not-at-all-faulty knowledge of state policy regarding the rights of mothers serving time in correctional facilities, why am I not writing for Law and Order?]

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I had an ultrasound two months ago."

"Oh." Michael glanced at his watch. "Kayla, I've gotta go."

"OK." I hugged him hard. "Thank you so much for coming, Mike. It helped me a lot."

Michael called out to the guard. As he walked away, I cried, "wait Michael!"

He spun around. "What?" I took a deep breath. "Will you please tell Jenna that I'm sorry? I caused her so much pain, it's the least I can offer her."

"Sure." He was about to leave again when I called him back. "Now what?"

"Tell her that I want to talk to her. That I'd really appreciate it if she came to see me so I could tell her all this in person." [While she's at it, ask her to bring me a ham sandwich!]

"I'll be sure to tell her."

"Thanks. Thanks for everything."

As my friend walked away, I felt a sudden pain in my stomache that brought me to my knees. I screamed. Mike and the guard came rushing back. The door was unlocked quickly. "What's wrong?" the guard asked. I was about to answer when the pain hit me again, knocking the wind out of me. Something inside me popped [more popping!], and I felt liquid ooze through my legs.

Michael noticed. His eyes widened. "Her water broke! She's going into labor!"

[Can your water break in the middle of a contraction? I have no idea.]

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You guys do such a great job snarking on this stuff. So have at it!

Comments

[David McNelis]

1st Post! Yay!

Well, I had no idea that they let people visit you in your cell in Jail!

And kudos to the more popping....I almost let my water break I was laughing so hard!

[Sant]

HAHA! This was one of the best ever! (I may be as mad as Cassie when I say this), but I have a feeling there's about to be some baby stealing going on in Pine Valley.. or wherever the hell:)

Also, I am actually at this moment NOT getting ready for work so I could read this!! (I waited all day-- ALL DAY (said in the same way as DON'T GO!) I love Fridays!!

Tragic ones!!

[Angela]

I'd think given the popping theme that keeps popping up (ha!) Jenna would have dreams about Kayla running after her with a knitting needle rather than pulling out her insides.

It's nice that she'll get to stay with the baby for a year though--daycare is hella expensive for women who work away from the prison cell. Or so I hear.

[Katie]

I totally noticed the same thing Erika did, but I didn't say anything.

I liked the sudden labor/popping - it's so often shown that way on movies/TV, but is so rare in real life. I would think that your water would be more likely to break during a contraction than in between, but I'm not sure. With my first birth, we broke it intentionally, and with my 2nd, my midwife said that it broke just as the baby came out. I had a waterbirth (at home) and certainly wasn't paying attention to things like that by that time, but I guess she was :-)

I love TLF, and especially your commentaries!

[Silly Hily]

Weeee, TLF, TLF, TLF, TLF (chanting while pounding fists on my desk).
I love the fact that the very first contraction sent her to her knees. Either she's a serious wuss or she's in for a long ass labor. I'm not sure about the water breaking during a contraction. Mine broke with Silly Girl right after I got the epidural and with Silly Boy I was induced so my doc broke it first thing that morning. I do know that it really isn't as dramatic as they show it on TV.
Jenna dreams of Kayla pulling her insides out? Oh my goodness, that hurt me. And yes, Michael would win Best Supporting Actor and when he did, he would thank you for writing such a loveable and caring character. Well, that is until we watched the show the following week and Michael is the one who was talked into stealing the baby for Jenna (good call Sant!). I guess he would still be loveable and caring though since he would be doing it all for Jenna.

Last thing, when Michael and Jenna finally do hook up (cause I know it's gonna happen) is she going to pull the "I can't. I'm just not ready. I'm not over David. I look at you and all I see is his face. It wouldn't be right to make love to you and be thinking of David." right as the clothes are on their way to the floor?

[Rachel]

My only question is how did the amniotic fluid ooze "through" her legs?

And Kayla could've been charged with 2 counts of involuntary manslaughter and one count of attempted murder. In most states, as far along as Jenna was, the fetus was considered a viable human being. See, your 14 year old self knew what you were talkin about.

[Silly Hily]

Could it be possible that I forgot to say something? Yes, it could.

Wouldn't Cassie be better off starting a riot or two and avoiding parole all together. Because if she makes parole after 1.5 years then she has to go to the Sanitariam for 2 years causing her to really serve 3.5 years. But if she doesn't make parole, then she's out in 3 flat. I mean, that's six whole months. Right? Now, I promise I'm done.

[Audrey]

Oh, there is DEFINITELY going to be some baby stealing! (Good call, Sant!) Jenna's going to need that baby girl to replace the one she lost, am I right?

All I could think about when Michael kept hugging Kayla was, "Why isn't the guard yelling 'No Touching!'? Is it possible Arrested Development lied to me?"

My question is this: After Michael hooks it up with Jenna and impregnates her (because how could that NOT happen?), is he then going to get in on with Kayla, too? And then will Kayla get pregnant and Michael get killed just to have some new best guy friend jump in so the viscious cycle can repeat over and over? Because that would be fantastic. (Not fantastic for all the dead guys and babies, of course; But really fantastic for TLF.)

[Art Nerd]

All I can think of is "You have a baby. In prison!" a la Reese Witherspoon's baby-in-a-bar comment in Sweet Home Alabama.

Imagine this kid's baby book... First steps, in prison. First birthday, in the prison cafeteria. hehe. Will her first foods be bread and water?

Awesome work, Frema!!

[Molly]

I am not sure if it was your commentary or your adolescent knowledge of criminal law that had me laughing harder.

"But you're still pregnant! So you win!" THAT sent me rolling!

I love to comment after Sant and Silly Hily. They, I think, are your biggest TLF fans (follwed closely by myself,) and their perceptions are a perfect balance of hysterical and insightful.

Also, generally speaking the labor pains were never as bad in my stomach(e) as they were in my lower pelvis and back (God help me). And, I never popped. But I love that all of Pine Valley has.

Where are they from, anyway?

Finally, if either of my kids ever maliciously plow down a pregnant chick or her fiance in front of a Dairy Queen, I am totally going to do my grieving in Florida. If you've gotta grieve, you might as well do it somewhere warm and sunny.

[Stacey]

I'm not sure what's more fun...TLF, or the comments that follow.

And by the way, the guy that came over to Young and the Restless from your soap? He is mean and terrible...not liking his character at ALL! Also, he's really familiar...I think he may have played 'LouJack' many years ago on Guiding Light. And yes, I do love my "stories", thanks! :)

[adina]

When Friday rolls around, I should be thinking, "Yes, two days of non-work and sleeping until noon and eating all the non-microwaveable lunches in the world!" But instead, I have been feeling more, "omg it's TLF yay!"

Can I just say that I love how Cassie turned against Kayla, after Cassie was the one who suggested killing Jenna? I mean, come on. Cassie is so the evil one here. Yes Kayla agreed and YES Kayla was the one who drove the car into David and YES Kayla was the one who had sex with a man who had already impregnated another girl but Cassie was all like, "WELL JENNA DESERVES TO DIE FOR STEALING YOUR BOYFRIEND."

I can't wait until Cassie reenters the scene like "Let's try to kill Jenna again, just for fun, because seriously, you can't fuck up murder TWICE." EVIL!

[Emma]

Were you a big Days fan? Kayla Evans, the picture of Christie Clark...just wondering!

[Silly Hily]

The only "story" I ever REALLY watched? Guiding Light. I can't believe Stacey busted out LouJack! That's awesome. I love these comments.

[Margarita]

I love the snarky comments ALMOST as much as I love TLF!!

[Lindsey]

I think I need a one way ticket to the Sanitarium. I really think you should send this to a producer...this could totally be a movie (or entire series!) on Lifetime!

[Isabel]

I hope that is the last time we hear about popping. It makes me shudder.

(Oh, reading the comments just adds to the deliciousness of TLF!)

I didn't think baby stealing until it was brought up here. Could be interesting.

Oh, and I visited a women in jail once (for murder, I KNOW!) and we had to talk through a glass wall. So um, Michael visiting in her cell wouldn't happen. Or maybe that's how they roll in Pine Valley!

[Pink Herring]

Alternate Ending #1:
Oh, and Michael, I forgot to tell you! I'm going to name the baby Catherine Mary! Don't you just love that name?

Alternate Ending #2:
Michael and the guard rush over to Kayla. When the guard grabs her arm to support her, Kayla quickly steps backwards, causing the guard to slip on the water she's spilled on the floor. As the guard falls, Michael grabs the gun from his holster, and then winks at Kayla, who is holding an empty bottle of water with a smirk, looking down at the unconscious guard, a pool of blood mixing with the water around his head.

"See, I told you that sob story would work", says Kayla.

"You really are a genius, babe. I just can't believe that you were able to wear that pillow under your prison clothes for 7 months without anyone noticing!" [a'la Beth from Passions, when she was faking being pregnant so she could steal Gwen's baby and win Louis's love forever]

"Amazing what a few, ahem, favors will get you in a prison, babe. Now let's get out of here -- we have one more stop to make before we hop that private jet to Fiji to live out the rest of our lives together -- we're going to kill that bitch Jenna, once and for all."

Dum dum DUM!