Why is it my body decides to malfunction right on the cusp of Weight Loss Wednesday? Last week it was dizziness and vomit. Today? A head cold, a cold that got me into bed early two nights in a row. On Monday I was under the covers by ten and didn't wake up until six the next morning. Yesterday I made it to eleven, but only because I wanted to catch the end of Law and Order: SVU, during which Blair Underwood set his ex-wife on fire.
Unfortunately, the scale doesn't care how stuffed up your nose is or how dangerous Blair Underwood is with a bottle of gasoline. He is just the messenger, cold and heartless.
LAST WEEK'S WEIGHT: 137
CURRENT WEIGHT: 138.6
POUNDS TO GOAL WEIGHT: 13.6
Thanks to my fancy schmancy scale, demicals have now entered the picture, which means I have to record this week as an almost two-pound gain. Crap.
Why have I lost my motivation? I attribute part of it to the shopping sprees I had in December. Wearing new clothes can make you feel like you've lost five pounds, when in real life all you did was purchase some cute t-shirts whose hems you don't have to yank on every eight seconds to cover your pot belly. It also helps that my hair's been on its best behavior and my feet are sporting a different pair of shoes every day. Why pay attention to my expanding waistline when I can admire my heels or the curls I was able to shape with only two of my three styling products?
It might also be due to the fact that my weekend was bookmarked with trips to Longhorn Steakhouse and Ted's Montana Grill. I suppose a gain shouldn't come as a complete surprise.
It's been a month and a half since I walked into the gym, and if the YMCA wasn't a Christian organization, I'd feel like Luke and I were throwing our money away; as it currently stands, it's just like making a sixty-nine-dollar-a-month contribution to a local charity. We're not lazy, see? We're just making the world a better place.
Last Saturday I visited the Indiana Bureau of Motor Vehicles to finally update my license and state IDs to my married name, and while the attendant was reviewing the paperwork, she asked, "Is your weight still 120?"
"Yes," I replied. Then I went home and had a good laugh before my spirit burst into tears, because really, people, the last time I was 120 pounds was probably my sophomore year in high school, and yet I continue to give this number when any government official asks for my total poundage, even though I'm terrified they'll raise their eyebrows and shake their heads to let me know I've been caught in a blatant lie. I can remember renewing my license in Rensselaer and almost having a heart attack over the clerk's listing it as 125, even though I done told the bitch it was 120 (and even though I actually weighed 132. Whoops). When I moved to Indianapolis, I changed it right back, despite my failed attempts to button my size-eight jeans. In those situations, I always think, "This extra flab is just temporary! Any day now I'm going to slim down and become the number I feel on the inside!" Which I apparently think is eighteen-point-five pounds fewer than my mortal shell. I'm also a fan of assigning blame to the water retained during my menstrual cycle. Even if it's day six and the womanly blood is nowhere in sight.
Tell me I'm not the only one who does this. How much cushion (no pun intended) do you allow yourself when reporting your weight?
Also, that city clerk probably knew I was lying, didn't she?
Let's face it. She totally knew.
And for those of you wondering about last night's dessert choice....
Was there ever any doubt? Although I wish I'd asked for the brownie sundae. The banana was actually sort of bland. Luke was quite pleased with his tiramisu.
I have never changed my weight on my drivers license. Ever. Not in twelve years, not even in changing states. The good news is I'm almost back to it. Ha!
I've got some incentive for you over on my blog. Join me!!
Posted by: Molly | January 10, 2007 at 01:25 PM
Girl, I totally know what you mean. I gained 50 lbs in the last year and still am in denial that its sticking around for good. While I've gotten rid of most of my "skinny" clothes, I still refuse to buy many bigger sized clothes 'cause this weight? It ain't stickin' around. Despite the facts that I rarely exercise and had 2 pieces of cake yesterday. And I keep thinking, why lose the weight? If I get pregnant, I'll just put it back on. So, I'll just get pregnant and not gain a pound. See? So simple. Amazing how I can delude myself.
Posted by: Cora | January 10, 2007 at 01:32 PM
It's OK, baby. You know we still love you. As for your motivation? Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break, tell yourself it's OK to not be exercising so you're not making yourself feel guilty about it. Once you can get all zen with it, the motivation will come back. Maybe take a walk around the block after dinner with Luke instead of hitting the gym (an option that's far more appealing in June than January, I realize). Whatever you do, don't be too hard on yourself about it, because that will be totally counter-productive.
Posted by: Dawn | January 10, 2007 at 02:05 PM
I finally changed the weight on my driver's license when I moved to IL last year. I am still not close to the weight, but it's what people would guess I weigh. It's obvious I'm extremely overweight, but people don't know that I weigh as much as I do...probably because I'm 6' tall. Going back on the weight watcher's wagon...so hopefully will be at the weight on my driver's license by the end of the year.
Sorry about the bland banana cheesecake, hopefully you'll go back to the brownie sundae next time. You can never go wrong with Chocolate! :)
Posted by: Steph T | January 10, 2007 at 02:10 PM
No one asks for my weight. I might punch them if they did. I just looked at my DL to double check that they don't put weight on them down here. And I was right. I didn't think I remembered them asking for a weight.
I love love love what Molly is doing!
Posted by: Silly Hily | January 10, 2007 at 02:49 PM
They don't ask for weight here. But, if they did- I would totally lie. By like 60 lbs, while looking them right in the eye & just daring them to contradict me!
Posted by: Bethany | January 10, 2007 at 03:04 PM
My driver's license has said 121 since I first got it. And I probably wasn't even 121 then.
You're dessert looks yummy. It also looks the exact same as it does out here in Seattle. Good to know that TCH is consistant!
Posted by: Isabel | January 10, 2007 at 04:13 PM
For years my drivers license said 120, and I have weighted more than 120 for decades. Since the conscientious people at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles never asked if there was a change, I never bothered to tell them my correct weight. Then about six years ago, one of the BMV babes asked if there was any changes, I told her truthfully that my weight was 140. Okay, that is not true, but I meant for my weight to be 140. Without asking, the b*tch changed my hair color on the license from brown to gray. Now, my hair has been gray for a longer time than since I weighed 120. But there was nothing that has made feel older than the the three letters GRY on my driver's license...nothing except when I realized that I needed to buy a swimming suit with a skirt. Sheesh.
Maybe a law should be made that all women weigh 120 according to their driver's license.
Frema, maybe the fancy schmancy scale weighs heavier than your other scale...so you should automatically subtract three pounds.
Posted by: mjd | January 10, 2007 at 05:31 PM
Although the tiramisu was fine, I liked the bite of your banana cheesecake way more than the whole of my own slice. Next time, I'm getting the banana.
Posted by: Luke | January 10, 2007 at 07:53 PM
I just got a replacement license yesterday, but I didn't even look at what I said my weight was, until just now. I'm surprised to discover that I didn't lie much when I first got it, the weight it says is about what my pre-preggo weight really was.
Of course, that's about 15 lbs from now, and another 15 lbs from where I would like to be. And even that is about 15 lbs from your driver's license. I don't think I ever claimed 120. Maybe on my first license.
Posted by: Liza | January 11, 2007 at 01:29 PM
That dessert looks damn good, although I like the key lime cheesecake. Oh soooo good.
To answer your question, I do give myself a 2 pound blood and bloating cushion. But by day 4, I expect the weight to go down because when it doesn't, then I start getting worried. I have stretched it out to day 6 or 7 or 20 before though.
Posted by: Lindsey | January 11, 2007 at 03:52 PM