Double-Duty Wednesday

I was pretty sneaky last week, huh? Going on about my teenage years and former flames, parental trials and tribulations, basking in the afterglow of the Internet's sympathy, all the while ignoring the white elephant that was Weight Loss Wednesday.

I didn't skip out completely--I did submit myself to the unforgiving nature of the scale, and I was neither pleased nor surprised with the one-point-two extra pounds of insulation I seemed to have accumulated watching all those DVDs from Blockbuster Online.

Things aren't much better this week:

LAST WEEK'S WEIGHT: 138.2
CURRENT WEIGHT: 137.8
POUNDS TO GOAL WEIGHT: 12.8

Apparently skipping out on my after-dinner ice cream indulgence last night was just enough to register a loss this morning. Go me.

After work yesterday I abandoned the business-casual khakis I wore to the office and slipped into a pair of my favorite NY&C jeans, and I was horrified to realize how tight they felt in the thigh. I could still button them without cutting off circulation to my brain and legs, but it wasn't a comfortable fit, and I didn't make it further than watching Monday's episode of Heroes before I was rummaging through my dresser drawers, searching for my favorite draw-string pajama pants, pants that probably deserve an Honorable Mention in my hypothetical top five, so often are we together.

As I mull over another week of missed opportunities to become a stronger, healthier person, I also remember that today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, the first of forty days (forty-six, actually, thanks Wikipedia!) spent in preparation for Jesus's death on the Cross and subsequent resurrection. I can remember going to church after school with my mother as a kid to receive my yearly thumbing of ashes, contemplating a suitable sacrifice to show my thanks, which usually turned out to be something like cookies or chocolate (Chips Ahoy products being the ultimate tester, Mom loved to keep a package in the freezer) and I never made it past week two. Since stumbling blindly into adulthood, I can't remember making any Lenten offerings, but this year, in light of all that's taken place in my spiritual journey and how truly blessed I feel to enjoy this stage of my life with such a wonderful person, I think I have a special responsibiltiy to do something outside of myself, something to show God how appreciative I am for everything He's given me, which includes the body I spend so much time picking apart.

I complain and complain and complain about my rolly-polly belly, my alarmingly round face, my flabby back fat, and yet I continue to gorge myself on cookies and candy and handfuls of shredded cheese when I'm supposed to be washing pots and pans. I'm not thirteen pounds overweight because of a slow metabolism or gestating baby, but rather a lack of self control, and I've been so angry with myself for caring more about snacks than the importance of maintaining a healthy weight. It's not right, especially when I have an actual condition to control. In addition to wanting to be around for my husband and our future children for decades of years to come, I have an obligation to God to make smarter choices with this body He created specifically for me.

So, during this season of reflection, every time I reach for that bag of Keebler Fudge Stripes, every time I think of diving into a mountain of berry rainbow sherbet, I will remember what God has done for me and and treat my body with more respect. I will think before I open the pantry door. And I will remember that my spinach-dip recipe doesn't really need a full cup of Parmesan cheese. (Ah, cheese, both friend and foe!)

I am also giving up All My Children. What, you didn't think I'd take the easy way out, did you?

Since I've been dragging my feet over the weight-loss thing for such a long time, and since it's actually a personal benefit to slim down and eat better, it didn't seem right to offer my harmful caloric intake to God. I thought it would be more of a sacrifice to cut out a vice, something I genuinely love and encounter on a regular basis but doesn't add to my quality of life. Luke suggested spinach dip, but since I only pig out on a batch once or twice a month, that didn't work, either. Then he suggested my blog, and I laughed hysterically. AMC it is.

I also wanted to make a positive commitment during this time and settled on reading some part of the Bible every day. I like hearing scripture readings during church services, and though I studied scripture in high school and college, I don't remember a lot of what I learned, so I'm looking forward to reaquainting myself with the Good Book.

There's still one week to go before March, but already I'm experiencing a new beginning.

Comments

[Silly Hily]

Thank you for not giving up blogging.

[Brittany]

Well said. You are truly inspiring. May I join you in your sacrifice? I need to start treating my body better, too.

Unfortunately, I don't have a TV show to give up (I'm too weak), but I'll think about it and come up with something....

And thanks for not giving up the blog. What was Luke thinking?

[CPA Mom]

Yeah, I remembered it was Ash Wednesday after I had my bacon strip at breakfast. Just had fried fish and candied yams for lunch from a local Southern restaurant. Guess I'd better fast for dinner. And high-tail it to the store before Friday rolls around.

Do you fast on Fridays?

[CPA Mom]

Oh, and if you google "read the bible in a year" there is a website for just that. I've thought about doing it myself since I've never read the whole thing.

[Molly]

WOW! You are setting yourself up for some major work ahead, friend. I admire you for that. And thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for not giving up blogging. (Does Luke not realize that an angry mob would congregate beneath your balcony, chanting your name?)

[Liz]

For the past few years M has been doing something extra during Lent on a regular basis, rather than giving something up. I thought that was an interesting take on it...

[Isabel]

What a beautiful post, as always. You have such a wonderful way of sharing your feelings with us.

And WOW....you are giving up AMC for Lent? You are amazing. But I totally know what you mean when you say you are thankful to God for your blessings. Giving up AMC for 46 days is nothing compared to all that He's given you (and the rest of us).

You are a wonderful person!

(and thanks for not giving up blogging!)

[mjd]

Congratulations on your wise Lenten sacrifices...although it might be fun to have mob at your balcony chanting your name. Oh no, Molly mentioned an angry mob chanting your name. I guess there is no glory with an angry mob.

You cannot give-up blogging as you are the blog professor; blogging is part of your job.

[Elizabeth]

That sounds like a wonderful way to do Lent! Sorta like second chance for New Year's resolution, but somehow more attainable, and more meaningful.
And who knows, maybe you can keep it going past Easter. It'd be a good habit to read some of the bible everyday.

[Julie]

What a great way to look at your relationship to God and your body. I think I may borrow your positive attitude for myself -- I could use a dose!

[Lindsey]

What a thoughtful post and I admire your Lenten goals/promises. When I am tearing my body apart, I also think about God and how He gave me this body and I should respect it and appreciate it. I could absolutely relate to what you said in this post. Sometimes when I am working out and doing good things for my body, I also think about God, which I think is equally important. You are a beautiful woman, inside and out. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

[Stacey]

I like your thoughts on treating the body God gave us with care and respect. Great post, and congrats on your weight loss this week!