So. Apparently you all were shocked by my teenage willingness to mention human reproductive organs in poems calling attention to the spiritual consequences of infant abuse. I have to say, the others were quite jealous of all the attention "Stupid Mommies" received, throwing around phrases like "show off" and "special treatment" and "I thought the Mrs. Fletcher bit was HILARIOUS. She was gipped, I tell you, gipped!"
But that's all in the past, and as I post today's TLF installment, I indirectly continue my theme of highlighting my adolescent works of "art." Too bad I couldn't just scan in all of these pages and submit them to Cringe Book, eh?
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CHAPTER TWELVE - MICHAEL
I was heading towards my room, looking forward to a good night's sleep when the doorbell rang. I hurried to the door and unlocked it quickly, so it wouldn't wake my parents. There stood a woman with short red hair holding a sleeping infant in her arms. "Jenna, is that you?"
She nodded, and I motioned her in. She sat on the couch. I followed her, mesmerized by her sudden and different appearance. "I just came to say good-bye," she said softly.
"What? Good-bye?" I rubbed my eyes and finally realized that Jenna was holding Katherine, Kayla's daughter. [What the hell did you think it was, Michael? Her Cabbage Patch?] I felt sick to my stomache. She had kidnapped her.
"Don't leave," I said.
"You know I can't stay here, Mike," she said and started to cry. I took Katherine from her. "Why, Jenna? Why did you take her?"
She looked around the room sadly with those big green eyes that broke my heart. "I--I...I can't be alone. You know I was never happy unless someone was with me."
I shook my head. "You're lying to me, and to yourself. Just admit it: you did it for revenge." She stood up and glared at me. "So what if I did? You don't know me, Michael Spencer. You don't know the pain I'm going through, or the anguish I feel when I wake up in the morning! Two parts of my life were taken away when Kayla hit David and me. [Except you weren't hit, remember, sweetie?] You don't understand! You never can!!"
That did it! I laid the sleeping baby on the couch [car seats and bassinets are SO overrated] and slapped Jenna's face, good and hard! She let out a small cry and raised a hand to her cheek. "The hell I don't!" I yelled.
"Michael? Michael, what's going on?" I heard my mother call from upstairs. "Nothing, Ma," I called back. "It's just the T.V."
[Nothing, Ma. Just smacking around the woman of my dreams!]
[Also, if I'd been just a few years older at the time of this writing, Jenna would've slapped him back, you know, to even the score, and after a moment of mutual heavy panting, grabbed him by the base of his neck and kissed him passionately. They would've ripped each other's clothes off, fallen down to the carpet, and come together in a spontaneous round of hair-pulling, grunt-inducing Angry Sex, giving Katherine an inside look into how babies are made.]
I lowered my voice. "The hell I don't," I repeated. "I do know you, Jenna. I know you better than you know yourself. No, I can't imagine your pain, but it's over now! Make peace with Kayla and yourself so you can go on with your life! If you leave with that baby, it'll never be over!"
[First the prison speech and now this. Man, Mikey's just knockin' em right out of the park!]
There was silence for a few minutes. Then I ran upstairs. "Where are you going?" she whispered.
"With you," I said. In my room, I got out my gym bag and threw in clothes from my drawers. I put on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. My wallet had 50 dollars. I put it in my back pocket. Taking the bag, I snuck into my parents' room. I went through my dad's wallet and found 350 dollars. [Because of course adults carry this much cash on their person at all times. They're adults!] I gave them one last glance and ran back downstairs. "Let's go," I said. "You don't have to go," Jenna said in a hard tone. "I'll be fine without you."
"How about Katherine? Do you have a car seat for her?" She shook her head. [Now Michael is Mr. Mom?] "And what about money?" I asked. "How much money do you have?" By the surprised expression on her face, I could tell she hadn't remembered to bring any. "Come on," I pleaded softly. "Let's go." Jenna hugged the infant to her chest and together we walked to her car. She gave me the keys and got into the passenger's seat without a word.
First, I got the car's gas tank filled. I had been driving for a half an hour when I decided to break the ice. "Where do you want to go?" I asked. "We could always go to the prison and--"
"No," Jenna cried.
"OK, OK. Where then?"
"Iowa," she said dreamily. "It's such a pretty place. Very peaceful."
[Clever strategy, Jenna. The police would never think to search for a missing baby one state over!]
"Have you ever been there?" I asked.
"Mmhm. My grandparents used to live there a few years ago."
"What happened to them?"
"They died."
"I'm sorry," I said suddenly.
"Don't be. They died a long time ago."
"Not about that. I'm sorry I hit you." I took my eyes off the road for a minute and stared at her intensely [aka "creepily"].
"It's OK," she replied after a minute. "I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. You don't deserve to be yelled at by a bitch like me." [But you deserve to be slapped? Low self-esteem, anyone?] She smiled. "Your my guardian angel, remember?"
I shuddered as I drove on. How could I tell her that I wasn't the angel she made me out to be? That I was the one who brought up David's old feelings for Kayla, so maybe he'd go back to her and I could have Jenna all to myself?
She could never know, I thought. If she did, I would lose her.
That was something I couldn't bear.
[OK, it was a crappy thing, but not really the big deal Michael thinks it is. David was clearly looking for excuses to get it on with Kayla, and even though he never admitted his love for her beyond their one-night stand, and even though we never hear Jenna's thoughts on the affair, I think a part of her knows she and David never would've worked out; that if he were still alive today, he'd probably be with Kayla. Maybe that's why she takes the baby, because she couldn't live in her own skin knowing Kayla had "won."]
[Also, Michael's "encouragement" never does come out, in this book or the sequel. I really wasn't very smart.]
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A shorter excerpt today, but I'd really like us to savor this time we have together, and that's not going to happen if I share more than a few pages at a time. However, the sequel is longer, lustier, and even MORE inappropriate. There's even incest! V.C. Andrews would've been so proud.
Indulge me, dear readers. What would you like to see happen in the sequel?
I can't think any further ahead...I'm still stuck in Iowa. Now my grandparents are also from Iowa and ummm...if I was running away it certainly wouldn't be to beautiful Iowa...hehe I love it!
Posted by: Lauren | February 16, 2007 at 08:57 AM
Can I just say...going along the same thread here...that I ABSOLUTELY love that when Jenna says her grandparents used to live in Iowa and Michael is all "Oh so what happened to them?" I mean that is just priceless. Why even though I am aiding and abetting a kidnapping fugitive I'd still like to know what's going on with the extended family...I'm surprised he didn't ask how the funerals went and who brought what kind of casserole. I just love it...every time I "play" this scene in my mind I just laugh and laugh....its great!
Posted by: Lauren | February 16, 2007 at 10:10 AM
Incest!? No you didn't. Ha! You got really deep there with that last long commentary. Did they ever get the poor child a car seat? Did Michael just happen to have one in his bedroom closet or what? Oh, and I love how the doorbell doesn't wake a single parent up in this town.
In the sequel I would like to see Katherine and Dannielynn star in "The Simple Life: The Next Generation".
Posted by: Silly Hily | February 16, 2007 at 10:25 AM
Let me just begin by saying: That did it! I laid the sleeping baby on the couch [car seats and bassinets are SO overrated] and slapped Jenna's face, good and hard! She let out a small cry and raised a hand to her cheek. "The hell I don't!" I yelled.
For young girls everywhere, I hope that Michael is the lesson in OH NO YOU DIDN'T! If it were blog appropriate to comment like I have Tourettes, for this reason I most certainly would, but I will refrain and move on to something other than domestic abuse.
Okay, Michael going with her is something I saw coming a couple of posts ago, although I forgot about that presumption last week. I think the two of them will settle in her grandparent's empty house (yes, because her parents would not have cashed out the estate), and farm as a young married couple with their young daughter, Kitty. And although I wish Jenna would be smarter than marrying he who hits, let's just be real here by saying, I don't think any one of these people thinks of consequences.
As for the sequal, I can't even gather coherent thoughts about that right now. I will have to think about it at work and comment later:)
Posted by: Sant | February 16, 2007 at 10:59 AM
I hope that when they stopped off at Babies R Us for a car seat (you know, on the way to not-at-all-obvious Iowa) that they didn't pick up a Britax Marathon for little Katherine. That $350 that happened to be in daddy's wallet would be almost spent.
I LOVE Silly Hily's idea for Dannielynn and Katherine in the next Simple Life. HAHAHAHA!!
I'd like to see Michael and Jenna head for the Mexican border and be chased by the INS while trying to climb a wall (are there walls there?) That would be some great footage.
Posted by: Molly | February 16, 2007 at 11:12 AM
Y'all don't know me! Y'all don't know me!! I LOVE the Springer treatment of her feelings. hehe
I hope that Michael and Jenna realize their mistake before crossing state lines. ALTHOUGH maybe there can be even more special dispensations made, and Michael, Jenna and Kayla can all live in one cell, Big Love style happy family?
Posted by: Art Nerd | February 16, 2007 at 11:38 AM
One of my high school teachers used to make us sing "Friday is my favorite day" every Friday. I think I'm going to have to work something about TLF into the lyrics :-)
Here's a link:
http://web.mac.com/studio949/iWeb/Site/B&B%20AudioVault/D18E1B40-2A65-46C1-8245-A6C753057924.html
I had to put it on 2 lines so people could see all of it. You'll have to paste it back together :-P
Posted by: Katie | February 16, 2007 at 12:25 PM
I'm only confused about one thing this time. So, Michael slaps Jenna and this wakes his mother, who, hollers from upstairs, and, then 5 minutes later he sneaks into the parent's bedroom and steals money?
Hmmm, his parents got the goooood drugs huh?
Incest? Seriously? How in tha hell?
Posted by: Rachel | February 16, 2007 at 12:33 PM
Incest?? Cassie and... hmm. Michael and...hm. Oh! I've got it! Cassie and the late David had that sleep-around mom, so there she is in Florida wearing a big blond wig and...
Nope.
I'm stumped.
Posted by: TasterSpoon | February 16, 2007 at 02:45 PM
Ok, so there are parents in this part, but 2 minutes after the mom calls down, they're sound asleep enough for him to sneak into their room and rifle through his dad's wallet? Sheesh. ;)
I didn't think Michael would just up and go with Jenna, but I suppose if you're 17 and the love of your life dyed her hair and stole a baby, you'd have no choice. Right? He could totally still drive her right up to the jail. What's she going to do? Jump out of a moving car with a baby in tow? I don't think so!
Let's see, sequel... I like the V.C. Andrews thing, minus the hillibilly names (Heaven Leigh anyone?). So Michale and Jenna are "hiding out" in Iowa, or perhaps the lovely state of Wisconsin. Kayla gets out of jail and on a tip from Cassie, follows their trail to a small farming community. It turns out, they've become Amish.
Bring on the sequel!
Posted by: Elizabeth | February 16, 2007 at 08:33 PM
Okay, this has nothing to do with this post, BUT, I'm watching 'All My Children' and OMG! Do you want to know?
Posted by: Lucky Gem | February 19, 2007 at 01:15 PM
Dude, my comment right now is that I need to get caught up on reading your blog. I have been a slacker. Damn me! I have not forgotten you!!! You are my hero! ;-P
Posted by: Lindsey | February 20, 2007 at 06:47 PM
I love how the 14 year Frema sees parents. Apparently they are all idiots. Good to know.
A sequel, really??!!
I'll tell you what I DON'T want to see in the sequel...incest! Yep-I do not like incest. It gives me the heebie jeebies.
And also, let's get this kid a freakin' car seat for the love of cheese!
Posted by: Isabel | March 18, 2007 at 03:15 AM
It's not a real soap unless there is unwitting incest. Like Whitney and Chad on Passions... if only they had known that Chad was Whitney's long-lost, supposedly dead brother, they never would have broken Whitney's virginity vow, gotten her knocked up, ruined her phenom tennis carreer, and forced her to flee to Rome to hide out with monks. It's just so hard to know if your true love is also your brother.
So, Cassie has a mental breakdown, forgets that Michael is her brother, and screws him? Or is the sequel like 14 years in the future, so that Katherine can be history repeating itself + a little somethin' something? I vote for that.
Posted by: Pink Herring | March 22, 2007 at 02:54 PM
Because Iowa has ALWAYS represented the land of the free...
And I love how she wore her sunglasses at...night. I'm feelin' a little Corey Hart coming on.
Posted by: Whitney | June 06, 2007 at 06:24 PM