Tragic Love Friday: They're not lesbians (Not that there's anything wrong with that)

Shame on you dirty-minded TLF readers for taking Kayla and Cassie's innocent best friendship and turning it into something sexual. Lil' Frema was fourteen years old, people, a love-starved teenager who practiced different make-out techniques on her mom's living-room throw pillows; do you really think she was mature enough to explore the complexities of non-traditional relationships between consenting adults? Were there any lesbians in Flowers in the Attic? Think, McFly, think!

(When I was in high school, I actually did attempt to write about a gay pairing, as part of a saga that focused on the lives of four friends, but I didn't get any further than the first six pages because seriously, after writing a line like "Carlyle, I want you to be my only," the plot is all downhill from there.)

Anyway, part two! Part two is back with a vengeance, and perhaps a questionable explanation as to why Kayla and Cassie were hopping all over the continental United States looking for a girl who's lived in Cedar Springs, Iowa, the entire time, or at least since her year-long stint in an urban prison nursery. Then again, Jenna and Michael drove through Wisconsin to get to Iowa, so I wouldn't hold high intellectual expectations for any of these characters. Or said love-starved author. You understand, right? All of us, we were so young.

I'll shut up now. We have a prologue to finish.

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PROLOGUE - KAYLA (CONTINUED)

"Kayla!" Cassie's voice broke my thoughts. "Pay more attention to your driving. We're almost there." In a softer tone, she added, "Are you OK?"

"Yeah. I'm just scared, you know? It's been 14 years, Cassie. That makes her 15 years old. [Dope math skills! I guess Kayla got her GED in prison?] What do you think she looks like? Is she a good student? Is she being brought up right? Have Jenna and Michael told her about me?" I started to cry.

"Don't cry!" my friend said. "It'll be OK, Kay. I promise. I feel the same way you do. I'm dying to see my niece." [You'd think these women would've sworn off exaggerated death references forever. Such poor taste!] She lowered her voice. "We have to be careful about what we say around Kyle, too. You can't be breaking down like this. He's not a stupid boy. He'll get suspicous and start asking questions."

[And that's when I'll stop being polite and start being REAL. People can have car accidents in Iowa, too, you know!]

I sniffled and nodded, then checked to make sure Kyle was still sleeping. He was. Oh, he looked so much like me with his blond hair and blue eyes, that sparkled when he laughed. He didn't know how much. He'd never really seen my blond hair, only my dark brown. I'd told him he looked like his father, and that had made him proud. [I can't wait to be a dead beat, non-child-support-paying loser, just like my daddy!]

A few minutes later, I pulled into the driveway of our new home.

The house was small and white, and had rows of flowers alongside of the walkway. Cassie jumped out before I completely stopped the car, she was so excited. It reminded me of when she was a teenager [and made me switch seats before we tried to plow through the uterus of a pregnant woman. Memories!]. I woke up my son.

"Wake up, sweetie," I whispered in his ear. "We're home."

He opened his eyes slowly and gazed at the house through the car window. "It's so small," he said, sounding disappointed. [Ungrateful brat! He's lucky they're not sharing a bedroom in a studio on top of the local 7-11.]

"But that's only the outside, darling! Come on, let's go explore this place!" We got out of the car. "Where'd Aunt Cassie go?" asked Kyle. At that moment, she emerged from the house, her long dark brown hair covered with bits of drywall. "This house is great!" she cried. "It needs a lot of work, but that's no problem for us, right guys?" I smiled, and Kyle laughed. We were experts at fixing up houses. Everytime we moved, something in our new house or apartment had to be improved.

[So I guess two adults working behind the counter at Wal-Mart can afford a mortgage and private school! Good to know.]

As I entered the house with Cassie and Kyle, a warm feeling came over me. Cassie, Kyle and I didn't have to move anymore. I would be able to see Katherine from afar and watch her grow up. Maybe she and Kyle would go to school together and become friends. [Like kissing cousins, even!] I prayed that they did. I wanted them to form a bond that was like one a brother and sister would have. [Their bond will be JUST LIKE THAT. On an unrelated note, have you met Chris and Cathy Sheffield?] If only they could know about each other.

I sighed. I had done the best I could. Now all I could do was hope for the best.

[Kayla and Cassie are so the poor man's Thelma and Louise. What do you think?]

CHAPTER ONE - KATHERINE

I slid into my seat just as the bell rang, signaling it was time for homeroom. My homeroom teacher, Mr. Bray took attendance [it's killing me not to add the proper comma after Bray's last name, KILLING ME] and read the announcements for the day. As he did, I noticed a new boy sitting in the back of the room. That was strange. Most of the people in Adams High School had grown up with each other. There were hardly any students transferring, and if they did, they usually came in September; rarely in November. Before I could give it more thought, the warning bell for first period rang. I hurried myself to English. A few minutes later, the boy who was in my homeroom wandered in. I took my seat, which was next to my best friend, Shannon Sanchez. [Lil' Frema thought it was time to get some diversity up in here.] She was staring intently at the boy, and I playfully nudged her in the ribs. "So you noticed the new boy?" I asked, smiling.

"Mmmhmm," she answered, not taking her eyes off him. "I've never seen someone as fine as him in my whole entire life!"

[Even as a teenager I couldn't write youthful dialogue. So sad! At least I used "fine" instead of "built," though, right?]

I rolled my eyes. Shannon often exagerrated things, but this time she was right. The boy's golden blond hair was wavy, and strands of it fell into his eyes, which were such a deep blue, it was like looking into the sky on a stormy night. For a moment, he looked me directly in the eye, and I quickly looked away, embarrassed to have been caught staring at him. "Shannon, you're being too obvious," I hissed. Reluctantly, she turned away. "Do you think he noticed me?" she whispered. I laughed and was about to answer when my English teacher, Ms. Socha called the class to attention. [Another missed comma placement!] She took attendance, then called the new boy to the front of the room.

"Class, as you may have noticed, we have a new student. This is Kyle Hart, and he came from--" She paused. "Kyle, where did you say you were from?"

"California," he answered softly, his eyes scanning the room. His voice was low, but not deep, and his eyes looked like they were smiling.

"My, my," Ms. Socha [name of my fourth-grade teacher, who I loved so much] said, shaking her head. "Such a long way to travel. I hope you enjoy Iowa."

"I hope so, too," he said and sat back down. On the way back to his seat, Kyle smiled and winked at me. Shannon noticed.

"I guess he's not very shy," she commented.

"I guess not."

[The more I think about it, the more I wish I had cast this Jared Leto

than the one pictured here:

Jordan Catalano would've given that girl one hell of a wink.]

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Edited to add: Man, this excerpt was way too short. Blame it on the hustle and bustle of Luke's and my busy morning, what with him packing for Michigan and me type type typing away on the keyboard so I wouldn't have to bring my TLF notebook to work and I couldn't stop looking at the alarm clock because I didn't want to crawl into the office two hours before lunch.

Anyway, I'm home now, so here is the rest of chapter one. Because I am all about customer service.

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For the rest of the day, Kyle showed up in every single one of my classes. And in every class, he managed to give me some kind of sign, like a wink or a sly smile, which annoyed me to no end. [Do fourteen-year-old boys even know how to flirt? I thought all they did was throw gum in your hair and attempt to grab your tush.] After the dismissal bell, Mr. Bray called Kyle and me to his desk.

"Katherine," he began, "I guess you've noticed that Kyle has turned up in every class of yours."

I nodded, not looking at Kyle.

"I had his schedule made identical to yours for a reaon. Your teachers all gave rave reviews about your work. Since Kyle is a little behind [your mom's a little behind! Or likes it from behind, take your pick], I'd like you to tutor him, help him out with anything he has trouble with. The two of you could work out a schedule on when you'd get together. How does that sound, Katherine?"

This time I glanced over at Kyle, and his face no longer looked mischevious, just shy and uncertain. "I'll do it," I answered, smiling at him.

"Great. Well, that's it. You can go."

I exited the classroom and went to my locker. As I searched for my books, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped and whirled around. It was Kyle. "It's OK. I don't bite," he said laughing. "Usually."

"Well, put your fangs away. I'm busy."

He looked hurt. "You don't like me, do you?"

Again, I was surprised at how easily his emotions could change. "I don't NOT like you. I hardly even know you."

[I'm not quite sure what the hell I was doing with Kyle's character. Showing off his range of depth, maybe? I guess somehow that morphed into Sexual Harrassment Caseworker's Worst Nightmare slash Insecure Momma's Boy.]

He seemed satisfied with my response. "Fair enough. I'm sorry if I rubbed you the wrong way today."

[And that wasn't even an innuendo!]

"You did annoy me a little," I admitted. "Why did you do all those things?"

"To get your attention. Did it work?" Kyle smiled again, and his eyes twinkled. For a moment, I was lost in them.

"Katherine?"

"Yes," I answered softly. "You definitely got my attention."

"I'm glad. When I saw you in homeroom, it was like I had met you before."

This time it was my turn to smile. "Maybe in another life."

[Or in the same uterus!]

Things were quiet for a moment, then Kyle said, "I better be going. I have to help unpack all our stuff."

"Where did you move to?" I asked.

"In this house on Gibson Road. It's really quiet around there. Nothing like California." I saw a trace of sadness in his eyes. Then he brightened. "Hey, if you want to start that tutoring thing soon, you can come home with me after school tomorrow."

"OK, it's a date." I liked Kyle already, and was glad he wanted to get started so soon. However, I thought this too quickly.

"No, no, Katherine. If it was a real date, we wouldn't be studying from books." He looked me over slowly from head to toe, then looked me directly in the eye and raised his eyebrows suggestively. It made me furious!

[We hear you, Kath. In college, a random guy at a dance club asked me to dance and five minutes later, he was shoving his tongue down my throat. Which was fine with me--I was actually trying to up my French stats, anyway--but still. Cheeky punk!]

"Kyle, for a nice guy, you can be a real asshole! That attitude may have worked with California girls, but it doesn't with me." I grabbed my school bag and slammed my locker closed. After giving Kyle a dirty look, I started to walk down the hall quickly.

"Katherine, don't be mad," he called, not attempting to follow me. "Life's too short, and you seem too sweet to be unforgiving."

"You're right, I am," I called back, trying hard not to smile. "Just don't let it happen again." I hurried down the stairs, leaving Kyle smiling in the deserted hall.

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Thanks for bearing with me today through my half-assery and for giving me permission to switch out the Jared Leto picture. Consider it done.

Comments

[Rachel]

I am definitely in agreement with it being the younger Jared Leto! Incest here we come!!!

Is anyone else seeing Shannon getting totally jealous of Katherine because Kyle winked at her? OMG it's Jenna and Kayla all over again!!! Katherine's gonna get it if she doesn't watch out. Teehee, in more ways than one!

[Silly Hily aka The Hilarazzi]

Swoon, Jordan Catalano WOULD have given one hell of a wink. Go ahead, switch the pictures out. I can just see Kyle walking back to his seat with that little sway/pimp walk that Jordan had and throwing that wink Katherine's way. And I can see the glare in Shannon's eyes. Does Shannon have a big role in Part II? If so, are you going to cast her? Who will play Shannon?
And yes, I do see Kayla and Cassie as a Thelma & Louise but I also see them as a Ruth & Idgie but wait, you DON'T KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT. People, please tell Frema (and Rachel and Margarita...I'm still amazed at you girls) that she needs to see Fried Green Tomatoes.
(I just scrolled back up to see if I missed anything and my God Jared Leto was HOT before he went all freak on us. I loved him.)

[Isabel]

I feel dirty after clicking the link to learn more about Chris and Cathy. Dude again, I am so glad I didn't read those books. And Lil Frema, how did your Mom allow them in your house???

My prediction is that Kyle really wasn't asleep in the back of the car. The kid is smart, don't forget. He totally knows what's going on. He knows that Katherine is his (half) sister and he's into that kind of thing.

I think maybe he got it from reading something called "Petals on the Wind". But I'm not sure.

[Isabel]

Oh, and I'd totally do young Jared Leto. Old Jared Leto, not so much.

You can feel good about switching the pictures. Do it!

[Isabel]

And also, now I am, totally, paranoid about my, comma usage. I think, I've, been doing it wrong all, this time.

I suck, thanks, for reminding me.

[Silly Hily aka The Hilarazzi]

Don't worry about it, Isabel, if, you, screw up to badd on anythang, Frema, will totaly fix, it for you, cause it dives her crazy. And no, I don't no about that frum experience.

[David McNelis]

Oh yeah, I hear the bad 70's bow-chica-bow-wow, as the prelude to some fantastically hot brother-sister action.

[Isabel]

David, nothing personal, (again, with the commas) but dude...the sentence "fantastically hot brother-sister action" should never be used again. Brother/sister action is neither "hot" nor "fantastic" where I come from.

I'm just sayin'!

[Frema]

Hilary: Only if I have your permission!

(Most of the time, anyway.)

Is it wrong that I wish there were an unspoken agreement that ALL blog authors would proof their readers' comments? Seriously. If I misspell a word or use the wrong punctuation mark in a comment on your site, and it's obvious I meant something else, just fix it for me. I'm all about looking smarter!

[VirginiaGal]

Katherine seems like such a NICE girl. I just know that Kyle is going to be the bad influence her "parents" warned her about - even if he is a younger man (not to mention the whole part about him being her half-brother).

Am I alone in thinking that if Katherine was torn from her mothers arms at one year old, and he was conceived even just a couple weeks later, she's almost two years older than he and they should not be in the same grade? Because you know that her "parents" wouldn't have let her be held back - or did I miss the part where he was smart enough to be moved up a grade(despite the many different schools and moving around so much, etc.).

[Rachel]

Teehee, I am soooooo glad that I am not the only grammar nazi that blogs!! And, Isabel? Yeah, I second that! Not hot! Not fantastic!

[Pink Herring]

I thought, I was the only 1 whose stupid enough too need there comments edited. LOLOLOLOL!!1

Ahem.

Bring on the incest! Although I felt dirty after clicking on that VC Andrews link. How did I miss that stuff when I was growing up? The only romance novel I ever read was one I bought in an airport by accident when I was about 12 years old. I thought it was just a regular book about colonial America. Was I ever surprised when I got to the first sex scene... and the second... and the nine hundredth...

[TasterSpoon]

Oh, VirginiaGal, it's all one room schoolhouses in Iowa.

[Pink Herring]

PS -- Isabel, Kyle is smart, but he could have been a lot smarter if he hadn't been moved around so much. I don't think he knows.

[Frema]

VirginiaGal: Holy crap, you're right! Even if he skipped a grade (which I think he did), Kyle should only be thirteen years old.

Obviously lil' Frema did some (unintentional) SORASing of her own.

[Isabel]

Thanks for the encore Frema.

Okay. Man talk about hormonal teens. These two go back and forth like, well, like your mom. (AGAIN, with the, commas!)

And really, we're going there with the incest??!!

I need to go throw up a little now. And shower.

(and then maybe go to a dance club. It sounds like they have exactly what I'm looking for. I've been meaning to brush up on my French. [your mom brushed up on my French.])

[Katie]

Awesome! Things are moving along quite nicely. All you incest-predictors are so smart!

[May]

Holy freaking cow, I am so glad that my brother is not Jared Leto. Jordan Catalano is hot hot HOT, and I don't know if the bonds of family could break that crush (though ewww.....). I already call my husband by my brother's name all the time and it is SO DISTURBING! Also, I would like to join the meeting of comma-and-hyphen-overusers-anonymous (I'm-adding-the-hyphen-because-it's-my-crutch).

[Frema]

Remember, May, it doesn't matter if your sentences have a bunch of commas or hyphens, so long as each mark is being used properly. For example, in Isabel's sentence:

"These two go back and forth like, well, like your mom."

Both comma placements are correct. Way to go, Isabel!

Stay tuned for the next grammar lesson from "What're you lookin' at": the apostrophe. It should only go before or after an "s" if one is trying to show possession, e.g., "your mom's birth control pills" or "the people's court." It should NOT make an appearance when an "s" is simply making a word plural, like "Can all the mothers in the house give me an Amen?" or "Home of the Pumas."

My biggest grammar-related pet peeve ever!

[Elaine]

Frema, I am totally loving TLF (wish I could be so brave!). And the purpose of a comma is to say "Here comes an S!"

[Sant]

hahaha! Oh to die for! The sequal is right up there, if not kicking the ass of part one:) May I just go right into my first point of business: "Where'd Aunt Cassie go?" asked Kyle. At that moment, she emerged from the house, her long dark brown hair covered with bits of drywall.

Where the hell did the drywall in her hair come from? I picture batshit crazy Aunt Cassie crawling around like a fraggle or poking through the drop ceiling- whatever:)

Second-- I love love love the line about Katherine and Kyle feeling like they had met before... IN THE SAME UTERUS!! HA! Sigh, oh I love it!

There are so many things to note in this episode, I don't know where to go next, other than I feel like Kyle may have inherited the unstable gene from Cassie. It does seem that he's slightly bipolar. Also, when Kyle is talked about from Kayla's perspective, I feel like I'm looking at a four year old boy, and the next scene when he's looking Katherine up and down I was slightly startled. It just goes to show that teenagers never surprise me. And by that I mean, oh yes. Surprised.

Love the posting, no matter the half-assery. I will take TLF in any form:)

[Sant]

Haha! I didn't want to jinx myself by reading the other comments before I posted my own, so I just now went back and might I add, I thoroughly enjoyed "Frema's grammar and writing lessons" brought to you by blog comments and people with pet peeves everywhere (say that three times fast)!

If in your next installment you could go over the proper usage of two, to, and too- as well as the there, they're, and their, I would greatly appreciate it. I would link you to my office manager, who would probably not appreciate it, but could use some serious SERIOUS help. Gratzi!

PS- Consider this (right here: X__Sant___.) as my pre-approval contract for you to adjust any spelling errors or omission of important words (ie- as I am a big fan of your examples cited above): the phrase "I you". There should be a love or hate or something in between there- don't leave me hanging- just PICK SOMETHING FOR ME SO I DON'T LOOK AS IF I FAIL TO PROOFREAD, THOUGH ALWAYS DO AMEN!!!

Also, commas and hyphens I am okay with- wheather they are right or wrong I don't really care, but I AM concerned with the words themselves.

That will be all. Carry on. (Your mom carries on!)

[Molly]

Bout damn time I got a comment in here. I've only tried fourteen times. (Blame it on the rain...)

I had to look up Jared Leto. I didn't know who he was. And then I come to find? He looks like Jesus. Shame on you girls for mackin on Jesus.

http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/5730/Events/5730/JaredLeto_Grant_12391303_400.jpg.html?path=pgallery&path_key=Leto,%20Jared

[Rachel]

Ok, I'd be a little freaked out if I were Katherine! Stop freakin winking at me! WTF is wrong with you?!!?

I'm with Isabel, I'm genuinely surprised that Lil' Frema who go there with her story, but, Lil' Frema surprises me more and more with each installment of TLF.

[Isabel]

I know how to correctly use "to, two and two" and also "their, there, and they're"...but what about a name with an "s" at the end? What do you do when you want to show ownership? Like in the name "Harris", do you say "this belongs to the Harris's" or "this belongs to the Harris'"?

I should have figured this one out before I had a kid and gave him a name with an "s" at the end.

(his name is NOT Harris, by the way.)

(although there is nothing wrong with that name.)

[Frema]

Isabel: In your example, you would say "the Harrises," because the object being possessed doesn't appear right after the name. In normal cases, though, if you're talking about all of the Harrises, you would say "the Harris' car." If you're talking about just one, like "that's Judy Harris's car," you use the traditional apostrophe "s."

Thanks, DePaul University!

[Sant]

y'all done make my head spin:)

PS- I love coming back to check comments on TLF, even days later:) It's like the bonus check to the TLF salary, if you will:)

[Pink Herring]

Am I wrong in thinking that when you are doing a possessive of a name that ends in "s", you can also drop the last "s"? As in Harris's or Harris'?

I went to someone's house this weekend that had one of those cutesy little signs that said "The Miller's" on it by their front door. I might have kicked it. By accident.

[Frema]

Pink Herring: I think that was the norm at one point, for words in which the double-s combination produced a "z" sound. In grad school, though, my editing professor said there's really no excuse to drop the second "s" anymore, and since he's got more smarts in his pinky than I have in my whole body, I believe him.

[Silly Hily aka The Hilarazzi]

[your mom's a little behind! Or likes it from behind, take your pick]
HAHAHAHA! That was fabulous.

Also, yall are making my head hurt.

[Audrey]

Since I'm WAY late in reading TLF this week, everyone's pretty much said anything I could have come up with in the comments.

So I will just say this: Mmmmmmm...Jordan Catalano... Thank you for that.

[Elizabeth]

I'm so behind! But:
dun dun dun! What sort of private school did that crazy pair send Kyle too? All I remember 14 year old boys doing was stealing your pencils on their way past your desk into class. And then snickering with their friends. Oh, though, my friend told me there was this one boy who would wear his Umbros (remember those!?) sans undergarments and then show some people the goods. So I guess I have no idea what 14 year old boys are capable of! Yikes!

I also second (or third or fourth, whatever!) the switch in Jared Leto pictures. MUCH better.