If Lucy Ricardo had worked, this is how she would have announced her pregnancy at the office

Before I disclose the full details, it's important that you know I originally circulated a bare-bones version of this entry via e-mail to family and friends because I thought the content could possibly get me dooced. However, Isabel has since guaranteed my job security, and it really is a pretty harmless little tale, so I'm going for it.

Transport yourself to last Wednesday afternoon, a point in time in which only three people at work knew about my pregnancy because I was afraid my "condition" would result in a harsher critique of my performance.

(In that respect, men really do have it easy. Luke was able to spill the beans to his co-workers shortly after we found out because he doesn't have to worry about anyone keeping an eye on how many trips he makes to the bathroom or how many days he has to work from home because he can't make the twenty-five-minute commute without dry heaving behind the wheel.)

Anyway, I'm sitting in a meeting for which I was the last person to arrive. We're making traditional small talk about the weather and local construction and what not, preparing to outline a production schedule for some promotional videos, when suddenly my boss is mentioning that the wife of one of my co-workers--the co-worker himself being in the room--recently received a horrible sunburn at the beach while on vacation, and she's eight months' pregnant. Then he turns to me and chuckles, "But you don't want to hear about that," which sends a ripple of subdued laughter throughout the conference room.

HOLY CRAP HE KNOWS. He knows! I could feel the redness in my cheeks as my mind raced to pinpoint a time when I might've given myself away, eventually concluding it must've been the previous Monday when he used the extension in my office, the day I ripped off the flap of my sample box of prenatal vitamins and positioned it by the phone so I would remember to contemplate other options with my ob/gyn nurse. What other possible reason could he have for directing that line to ME? What does this mean for my job? I knew I had to broach the topic with him as soon as possible, but he left the meeting early, and by the time it was over, he was gone for the day.

Crap. Crappity crap crap.

The next morning, I decided to nip the problem in the bud and asked him to have a seat in my office during his morning rounds, requesting that he please close the door. I took a deep breath and donned a "knowing" smile.

"I have something to tell you, but after a comment you made in yesterday's meeting, I think you already know," I teased. He wrinkled his brow in confusion and looked at me, obviously intrigued. "No, what?"

And at that point I realized he didn't know, had no clue, but it was too late to come up with something else on the fly. I was about to out myself for no reason.

"That I'm having a baby?"

"No, no, I had no idea! Congratulations!"

"But," I sputtered, "that story you told about John's wife..."

Turns out that had been a topic of conversation just before I walked into the room, so what I interpreted as a sly administrative tactic informing me the jig was up was really just an inside joke he didn't want to relive twice. How a pregnant woman's sunburn becomes small talk during any company meeting is another matter entirely, but the point is, I'm an idiot. Thanks for playing.

So, ladies and gents with children, how did you break the news to your bosses? For the singletons (men and women alike), how do you think your employer would respond if you announced you were expecting a baby right now? Do you work in a family-friendly environment? Would you be able to pursue your career goals without any major obstacles?

Comments

[Elizabeth]

Both times I got pregnant, I just blurted it out. I had a cool boss at the time so I knew it would be okay.
If I were to get knocked up again (in my current professional environment)(well, I don't mean HERE, like in this BUILDING, but while I'm employed by this company)? I'd be screwed. No maternity benefits. NONE. BUT! They are very family friendly and they have never not once batted an eye when I've had to bring the girls to work with me.
Ugh...I can't even THINK about getting pregnant again.

[Rachel]

I feel so special that I received the email! I told my boss pretty immediately. The week before I found out I was pregnant with Alyssa, my coworker, my only coworker, had given her two week notice. This left me as the only person to do any work. So, I figured the sooner he knew, the longer he had time to make arrangements. He was happy for me, not at all worried about my performance or anything.

My boss has two kids of his own so he understands when mine get sick or something like that. I missed quite a bit of work when I was pregnant because I had some issues, but he was fine with it. I even ended up having her a month early and it didn't bother my boss.

[casey]

The first time.. I blurted it out!!! My boss was a woman and a good friend, so it was easy and I was excited.
The second time, I just sat my boss down and said it. The job I had was pretty secure and they really couldn't do anything. Pretty structure environment.

But outing yourself.. classic!

[Debbie]

I'll make my two stories short...they are by no means an example to ANYONE!

With my first I was about 8 weeks pregnant when I STARTED MY NEW JOB! Luckily for me my new employer was extremely family friendly and I even got a paid maternity leave!

With my second (same employer), I HATED my male boss. He ws so cocky and thought his one, very ugly daughter (I know that's mean but it's the truth) was the best thing in the world and no other child could ever compare. So basically everyone in the whole center knew I was pregnant and when I was about 14 or 15 weeks I just went in and said "I know you already know, but I just wanted to officially tell you that I'm pregnant." I smiled and walked out. Ugh, just thinking about that guy gives me the creeps.

With my current boss, I know it will be a piece of cake to tell her...our kids are about the same age and she already thought I was preggo once because I had a couple of doctor's appointments close together.

Your story was great! At least he seemed geniunely happy for you!

[Molly]

I know I told you the other day that I spilled the beans the morning I tested positive and the entire school knew by noon. But did I ever tell you that half the staff also knew when KJ was CONCEIVED?

Yes. That's right. Because when we were trying to figure out why the hell it was taking us FOREVER to get pregnant, I decided to call in sick the day I ovulated that month. For, um, procreative purposes.

At lunchtime, when I would normally join a group of fifteen crazy teachers at lunch, they gathered in my classroom, in my absence. Then they used my speakerphone to CALL ME AT HOME to ask how ovulation day was going. I was horrified, and they were hysterical.

When I got back, there was a teacher wearing a paper hat with a giant O on top. It was the Ovulation Day hat, and it gave free reign to call in sick when you were ovulating. It was a huge (embarrassing) joke the rest of the year.

[Carrisa]

If I were to get pregnant now I don't know what my bosses would do. Four coworkers (three of whom are women) have all had babies in the last 7 months so they probably wouldn't be shocked. I'd still be scared though. Mainly because there is no one else here to do my job and I would be scared of having to take time off for sick babies and whatnot.

But who knows how long it will take me to get pregnant so I will just wait and see.

There is a daycare center right across the street though so that could be a plus.

[Pink Herring]

The fact that this is an issue at all pisses me off. down with The Man! Down with non-family friendly workplaces!! My workplace has decent maternity leave... but ONLY if you pay for Short Term Disability insurance. UNFAIR! SEXIST! BABIES ARE NOT A DISABILITY! OMG!

I have no kids, so I have no real stories. I called in sick once because "my cat was sick and we had to go to the vet" when in reality I was just really tired, and they didn't bat an eyelash.

[Bethiclaus]

Um, my boss when I found out I was pregnant with Alliclaus was actually a personal friend. Essentially, I came into the office crying with a pee stick in my hand.

Classy...

[wilddreemer]

Well since my boss is my mom, and I couldn't wait to get home to test like a sane person I peed on the stick at work. We had been trying for about 2 years when I saw an ultra bright, no way around it your pregnancy line. Didn't matter how bright it was, all the sudden I was a raging idiot. I couldn't figure out what it meant. No one at work knew I was taking a test so you can imagine their shock as I came running out of the bathroom with a stick in one hand and box in the other waving them over my head wildly like a ultra dork and screaming, mommmy mommmmmmmmy WHAT DOES IT SAY????? She dropped everything and said, "what in the hell are you trying to say?" I threw the box and stick at her and said "MOM FIGURE THIS OUT WHATS IT SAYOMGAMIPREGNANTHOLYSHITMOMWHATDOESITSAY"

All the sudden she paused and said, "are you trying to tell me your pregnant?" Sigh, uggg grumble.

So that is how she found out. She then started jumping around and going all nuts like those moms on Americas Funniest Videos. She also told EVERYSINGLE family member before I had even made it to the doctor to confirm. She also told ever one of our suppliers and every customer that called and would listen.

This second time around, everything was much more muted. Everyone was all "yeah whatever, been there done that, woo, congrats, go back to work, and don't even think about getting off early for puking."

Woe is me.

[Art Nerd]

I don't even have classes lined up yet for Spring semester, so I don't think it'd be a big deal. Now, dealing with puking while only seeing these students twice a week for an hour and fifteen minutes at a time? In the morning, when on a good day I feel all gurgly in the belly? Not so sure about that one...

[Nichole]

The first time, I was working for a very nice boss in a very family-friendly environment. I wasn't at all worried about telling anyone there. This time, I'm writing freelance and staying at home with my daughter. So there's not really anyone to tell!

[Maya]

Ok, I'll be the first hypothectical answer:

I'm my boss. My boss would go bat***t insane, as this would demolish much of the next two years of work. I would have to finish out this season and only take early bookings for next year...

After that, I'd have to either work for a hotel (highly questionable if I'd get hired in that state) or just try and help my husband with his DJ'ing and muddle through.

In short: Disaster!

[VirginiaGal]

My current boss would be thrilled for me, be understanding of any time I needed to miss, pick up the slack to keep the office running through my absence, and probably expect me to bring the baby to work with me(assuming I returned, see below). The office is in my bosses home, and I am the only in-office employee (my boss is pretty much retired, but still gets paid since it is her husbands business) so it's a little easier than in "corporate" America.

My DH and I were raised with SAHM's, and we want to have that for our child(ren) as well if we can swing it. That said, I really love my current job and would hate to quit and then find out that SAHM isn't going to work for us(for whatever reasons).

[Gillian]

My boss found out because I FLIPPED out during a meeting when my (lower-ranked) boss wouldn't stop interupting me and I got up and left the room. I was over-emotional about it, and went to HR and told her what had happened, and it came out that I was pregnant, and was probably the reason for the outburst.

I didn't think she was allowed to tell other people, but she told my big boss immediately. Oh well.

[Audrey]

My company is fairly family-friendly -- one of the editors was able to go part-time after she had kids, and another woman often brings her kids to work when they're home sick from school.
Telling my boss would be strange. He's a very strictly-business type of guy, so it would be weird to see if he showed any emotion or offered congratulations or anything like that. I'd get 6 weeks, unpaid maternity leave, which would suck ass.
But, if all goes as planned, by the time we have kids I'll have built up enough freelance work to be able to quit the full-time job and work from home anyway.

[Isabel]

So if you do get dooced, is it my fault?

CRAP.

(No, your safe.)

I told my boss when I was about 19 weeks along and I figured he was going to start noticing I was wearing the exact same black slacks and black sweater every day. Yeah, that's all the fit, but I didn't want to wear maternity clothes without telling people at work first.

Glad it went well! :-)

[HW]

Everyone I worked with knew that we were trying to get pregnant, but no one was sure where we were in the process. Early on in the pregnancy, I was outlining upcoming Dr.'s appts and I felt I had to tell my boss that I was pregnant since I was going to be in and out of the office so often (it was twins and my OB's office schedules waaaay out). It wasn't hard telling her I was pregnant - she was thrilled for us - the hard part was when she realized that I wouldn't be returning to work (hello? I had twins! Daycare would have eaten my paltry salary right up! Still, I wouldn't have gone back, even if it was one baby). We're still close, though, and I just visited today for a belated First Birthday celebration for my kidlets.

[Brittany]

When I told my boss, it was the most awful situation. I had just applied for a job with 35 other applicants. I was one of three called back for a second interview, and found out I was pregnant the day before. I went to the interview anyway because I didn't think I'd really get the job since the other two ladies had worked for the school district for over ten years. I cried in my interview because I felt like I was being deceiving. Two days later, my boss pulled me in his office to offer me the job, and I cried some more. What an amazing boss I had because he gave me the job even though I was up front with him and told him that I would only be there for seven months. Biggest blessing in my life! I needed that money so bad!

Hope your boss is as awesome as mine was. He sure made it nice for me. He even bought me popsicles during the summer.

[Michelle]

While generally my boss is totally awesome and I love my job, the initial reaction to pregnancy was not what I had hoped.
I told him the same day that I had the doctor's appointment to confirm the pregnancy and hear the heartbeat and see the peanut on the ultrasound. his response - he threw his pen across his office. Not exactly what I had hoped for. But I guess I can take it as a compliment, right? They didn't want to lose me, even for just the short 12-week maternity leave. Right?

[Christar]

Well, I'm totally not having a baby any time soon, but if I was at this exact moment in time, I think I'd have a melt down. Mostly because I'm still in college full time and work part time. I don't know how well my boss would take that, because they already let me work part time and get away with a lot for school. I'm sure they'd deal with it, but it would be super stressful. But I'm sure my work would handle it fine, just I wouldn't.

[twolinesonastick]

Well, I was working as a nanny and I was scared to death to tell the family because I figured they would worry that their kid would become second place to my growing/future baby. I told the mom one night in the kitchen and I ended up crying. I shouldn't have been scared, they were thrilled and hugged me and told me if I wanted to keep working after the baby that I could bring her to work with me. I was right about ten weeks when I told them I think. Maybe a little less. Right now I am on quite an extended maternity leave but plan to return part-time with my baby in the fall. My "real" career using my degree is still on the back burner. That would be PR and/or marketing.

[Samantha]

That story kills me! Kills me I tell you! ;)

[Silly Hily]

I can't remember it being a big deal either time I told my boss and the other people in my office. There are only five of us so we are like a tight little family. I know they were all excited for me both times. My company is very family friendly when it comes to having kids and raising kids (doc appts, sick days, etc.). No paid maternity leave though....nothing. So yeah, that sucks. But everything else is great.