Tragic Love Friday: Where the grass is green and the single moms are slutty

Today, for the first time since Easter, Luke and I are going to take off for the weekend to visit our families. While part of me is excited to be around people again, the other part is already lamenting not being able to flop around on the couch in my pajama pants falling in and out of sleep during episodes of Murder, She Wrote. I'm at 10 weeks today and still not feeling any better, so the car ride should be interesting. The last time I threw up en route was at the age of nine, when my sister, next-door neighbor, and I overdosed on Flinstones Chewables (yes, I knew better, but they tasted like candy!) and had to go to the hospital to get our stomachs pumped. Hopefully, this trip will be vomit-free.

(Incidentally, I'm taking Flinstones Chewables once again because I can't keep the prenatals down, and man, do kids have effed-up notions about what qualifies as candy. Blech.)

Anyway. On to TLF.

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CHAPTER FIVE - KAYLA (CONTINUED)

When I woke up, it was four-thirty. Time to get ready.

First I hopped in the shower. Then, in my robe, I looked through my closet for something to wear. I decided on a long-sleeved red shirt that almost reached my knees, black stretch pants, and black ankle boots. [You must forgive Kayla's choice of ensemble. Even though it was 1994, lil' Frema still had a special fascination with all things eighties.] I pulled my hair in a clip, but left some strands loose to soften my face. I put on a little make-up.

"Do I look alright?" I asked my son nervously.

"Yeah, Mom. Where ya goin'?" Kyle grinned. "Or should I say, who's the lucky guy?"

"Just a friend, nosy," I said with a smile, and ruffled his hair. "Did Katherine go home?"

"A while ago.... Mom, how do you know when you're in love with someone?"

"Is there someone in particular you're thinking of?" I asked. [It couldn't possibly be Katherine, even though you hang out all the time and just did this weird creepy portrait of her that you won't even show your own mother, because after all you guys are just good friends and God isn't so cruel as to allow siblings to be attracted to each other!]

"I just wanted to know," he said, and looked at me earnestly.

I grew thoughtful. "Well, you know you're in love when you smile when the person's name is said. When you see her, you're stomache feels fluttery and you want to vomit, but it's a good feeling. Everything looks like you're seeing it with someone else's eyes. You learn new things about yourself because she'll point them out to you. You'll feel so happy, you won't know what to do with yourself." I squeezed my son's hand. "Love is like nothing else in the world, Kyle. I can't wait for you to feel it."

[Thank you, Kayla, for your deep insights. I guess my relationship with Luke is a sham, then, because I haven't smiled at the sound of his name since 2001, back when I was scheming to date him.]

"Thanks, Momma," he whispered, and to my surprise, gave me a fierce hug. Then he went to his room.

Momma. He hasn't called me that since he was seven years old. I sighed. How I missed having a little baby in the house. If only--

DING, DONG. [Look! Foreshadowing has come a-knocking!]

Michael. I grabbed my jacket and purse and opened the door.

"Hi," he said. He looked great in jeans and a tight white t-shirt. He smelled of aftershave.

"Hi, yourself," I said, smiling. "Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know. We'll figure something out in the car." [What happened to the movie they talked about seeing in the grocery store? Ugh, these two are killing me.]

After we drove around for a while, we decided to go to "Garry's," the local bar.

[Always an appropriate destination for a married man and a single mom.]

The place had a pretty good crowd. There was an empty table in the corner in the back, but I wasn't ready for a heavy discussion yet. I wanted to have fun. I looked around and saw a pool table that nobody was using.

"I play a mean game of pool," I hinted.

"Is that a challenge?" he asked, grinning.

"If you want it to be," I replied. He was already walking over to the pool table.

So, for a while, we played pool. I beat him easily. It was fun, and it helped us to loosen up with each other. After the game, we had a drink at the bar. We were quiet for a while, and I decided to break the ice.

"Tell me what's on your mind," I said.

"It's not just one thing," he replied. "It's everything."

"Talk to me," I whispered.

[Oh, gag me with a spoon.]

He sighed. "I don't know where to start. At the beginning, I guess. We were young when we got married, and thought we could handle any problems. The last year hadn't been great for her, and she began to close herself up. I didn't know it, then. Love made me blind to it. I thought that my love for her would change her. We had Katherine from the very beginning of our marriage, and the twins came later.... We were happy, so I couldn't figure out why she'd wake up and cry the whole night. She got the shakes often. Sometimes she'd stay in our room with the door locked for days."

I brushed tears from my eyes. I had done those same things so many times. [Apparently there was something special in David Donovan's sperm that had the ability to reduce lovers to muted versions of their former, colorful selves. But Michael's can produce twins. Who's to say which is better?]

Michael noticed my face and grabbed my hand.

"Jenna's better now," he said. "It doesn't happen that much anymore."

"She might be sick," I said, a lump in my throat. "Did you get her help?"

He shook his head. "She won't go to counseling. She doesn't need it, anyway. All she has to do is open up to me. She wont, and I cant try."

"Cant or wont?"

"Both. God, Kay, it scares me that I don't love her the same."

"Love doesn't stay the same," I replied. "It's supposed to change."

"For the better, though. I'm not even sure if what I feel is love or not." Michael smiled. "I'm not giving you a chance to talk, and I want to get to know you better."

All this time, I was aware that he hadn't let go of my hand.

[Now that I've adequately portrayed myself as a noble, wounded husband, wanna fuck?]

"There's not much to know," I said lightly. I slipped my hand out of his and the sleeve of my shirt went up. Michael's eyes widened as he stared at the faint scar around my wrist. The area was black and blue. I reddened and bowed my head. "It's not recent," I said softly.

He grabbed my hand again and stood up. "Let's get outta here. I know of a place where we can go." I nodded.

[You wanna be where you can see our troubles are all the same. You wanna be where everybody knows your name.]

Fifteen minutes later, we came to a stop. It was a vast field, a blur of green that took my breath away. There was a small brook that seemed to go on forever, and a hill with flowers everywhere. "It's beautiful," I breathed. He grinned and grabbed a blanket from the truck.

"You can find these types of places anywhere in Iowa, but you should see the way the sun sets over here. It's like nothing else in the world."

I had said that same sentence earlier to Kyle earlier in the day, when he'd asked me about [being in] love [with his sister].

Michael spread the blanket out near the brook's edge and we sat down. He looked at me intently, and with concern. I knew he was waiting for an explanation about the scar.

"Life's not easy for me," I began. "Every morning, when I wake up, I hate the idea of going to work, being with people who mean nothing to me, worrying about bills and my son. Knowing that when the day is over, I have to sleep so I can get up and do it all over again. Living isn't fun. It's just something that I do, without any feeling. It eats at me from the inside.

"A few years ago, it was hell. I was fired from my job, so Ca - my sister supported us. Kyle had to be taken out of private school and had to go where the teachers were high and gang fights were normal during lunch. We couldn't afford to pay all our bills; soon our water was shut off. Sometimes we had to drink toilet water and boil it to make sure it was sterile. We--" I had to stop for a minute until the lump in my throat went away.

[You need a moment, too, don't you? To laugh your ass off. Go ahead. Lil' Frema doesn't mind.]

Michael was breathing heavily, and it sounded as if he were holding back sobs. [Not exactly the one-night stand you were hoping for, huh, buddy?] Closing my eyes, I went on.

"It was too much for me. I felt trapped inside myself. I had to get out." I gazed at my wrist. "I didn't slit them both, just made this one more of a gash. When I saw the blood, I felt at peace for the first time."

"Who found you?" he asked, grabbing my hand again. [Boy, he's touchy-feely this evening!]

I shuddered and whispered, "my son. He was only 11 years old."

[I can just imagine the Mother's Day card Kayla got that year. Dear Momma, thanks for botching your suicide attempt so I could stumble across your near-lifeless body when I had to go number one. That image will be burned in my brain forever. Love, your psychologically damaged son.]

Michael pulled me to him, and I leaned my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me. "I wish you hadn't done that," he said.

"You didn't know me; anyway, it doesn't matter now."

"Yes it does. Everything matters."

[You see, my marriage has a special clause allowing for affairs with women whose emotional impairments are equal to or worse off than my wife's. Jackpot, baby!]

We gazed into each other's eyes.

"What happened to your husband?" Michael asked.

I smiled sadly. "You know the saying, 'three times a bridesmaid, never a bride'? That's me." I laughed softly. "I don't think I was meant to be married. Too many limitations."

Michael shook his head. "No. When you're married to the one you love, there are no limitations." [Well, except for sleeping with other people, but who follows that one, anyway?]

"Are you?" I asked. "Married to the one you love?"

"It doesn't matter tonight." He tilted my face and kissed me, at first tenderly, then with more passion. We fell down, my mouth on his neck and his hands in my hair. For some reason, David popped into my head, along with the day I found out I was pregnant for the first time. [Hello, Random. We meet again.] I pulled away.

"This is too fast," I told him, "and you're too confused." He nodded, and we went back to his car.

"Are you mad?" I asked as he drove.

He smiled and shook his head. "I hope you're not mad at me." He cleared his throat. "I want to see you again."

"OK."

Soon, he was pulling into my driveway. [Your mom pulls into my....oh, nevermind. I think we did this one already.] He walked me to my door.

"Jenna's staying late at the office tomorrow. Can I see you?"

I could already see a pattern: sneaking around, an hour here and there. But I didn't care. [I'm a dirty whore!] "Pick me up at five," I answered breathlessly. Michael kissed me. "See you tomorrow."

I didn't go inside until his car was a tiny dot on the road.

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So. Now we know a little bit about how Michael, Jenna, and Kayla spent the time between part one and the sequel. We also get a crystal-clear picture of just how little Jenna is regarded by her husband and former BFF. However, in Michael's defense, it sounds like Jen's gone batshit crazy. It's a miracle he hasn't cheated on her before! And Kayla sounds desperate for someone to love her. Girl's had a hard-knock life herself.

As the story goes on, these and other characters will go on to do horrible things. But just like in traditional soap operas, I like to think there are redeeming qualities in each person that make you understand where each one of them is coming from.

Or maybe I'm the Queen of Denial.

Comments

[David McNelis]

Well, they do say Da Nile ain't just a river in Egypt. Wow. First, how in the green fields of Iowa does she not realize her son is IN LOVE with her daughter? I mean, I'm not one to judge, and won't claim sibling love couldn't turn into more...but ewwwwww! How blind can she be?!?

Or for that matter, how blind could Michael be?!? I mean, she almost slipped Cassie's name in there. Michael is a dolt. I'll go one further than being surprised he hasn't cheated on before, I'm surprised he hasn't accidentally walked in the wrong house and slept with the wrong woman because he got the house numbers backwards. That, at this point, is the kind of idiocy I expect from him.

It will be interesting when Kay meets Jenna again. I would certainly hope that even in her surge to pull in Foldgers while her boss takes the credit she can see a spade for a spade.

[Debbie]

Thank you for my Friday fix...the part I love most is your commentary. I go through things from high school that I wrote and do the same thing...it's hilarious! And we just think we knew it all back then, didn't we?

Good luck on your trip...enjoy yourself but don't make this a regular occurrence - time on your couch is precious and I know (I'm an expert) it helps stimulate baby growth :)

[VirginiaGal]

"Living isn't fun. It's just something that I do, without any feeling. It eats at me from the inside."

Yep, accidently killing your baby daddy, spending years in prison, getting raped, and focusing your life on finding your daughter can really take it out of you. That or "It" is the alien baby that was implanted when she was beamed up to the spaceship.

[Isabel]

First of all...good luck with your weekend with family. I'm sure it will be loads of fun.

Now on to TLF and my TLF notes.

A shirt to her knees? In 1994, really? That is not good.

"Who's the lucky guy?" Kyle is pretty cool about his mom going on a date. Especially since he's never seen her go on one before.

Who talks about love with their 15 year old and not think that's odd. Not to mention the fact that the only person he could even be talking about is his sister. I could forgive Kayla if she didn't know Katherine was his sister. BUT SHE KNOWS. Oh how she knows. I think Kayla's the dolt.

Michael picks her up and says "where do you want to go?" and then they drove around for a while. If this were to happen to 17 year old Isabel, I would have told the guy to just take my ass back home. I hated those types of dates. SHOW UP WITH A PLAN, dude. Or don't show up at all.

I'm just sayin'.

They had to drink the toilet water? Lil' Frema, there are no words.

I love how after Kayla tells Michael what a psycho she is, he's all turned on and automatically moves in for the kill. Isn't he trying to get away from his wife, who isn't very stable herself? I think trying to slit your wrist and leaving your mangled body for your 11 year old kid to find is way worse then Jenna locking herself in her room and crying. Looks like Michael might need to try to find a women who's a little LESS crazy.

And also, Michael seems to have no problems with having an affair. It's just a little too easy for him. Maybe this isn't his first time. Maybe that what's he's been doing prior to the sequal.

I'm just saying.

[Katie]

I have to agree that these two are quite possibly the two most clueless people on the planet. Although, I can't say I'm *not* clueless. I noticed in the Albertson's ad yesterday that it was the 3.6-ounce Ben & Jerry's that were on sell for $1, but it wasn't until I got to the store that I clued in to the fact that 3.6-ounces is less than half a cup, and $1 for that is a rip-off!

[bdogg_mcgee]

Oh, man, when I was two or three years old I ate an entire bottle of Flintstone's Chewables, chasing it with my bottle of water.

We were stylin' in those days, for my bottle of water was nothing but a thoroughly washed maple syrup bottle filled with eau de tap.

My mother, as soon as she saw what I'd done, force fed me ipecac. I still remember that day.....

[Rachel]

Clearly, both Kayla and Jenna have some, um, issues. Jenna has, and is still, losing her shit! Kayla lost hers but appears to have found it and is now just a horny slut.

Michael is such a bastard! Boohoo, your wife is sad and doesn't want to talk about it. You must find another woman, because, surely that will help.

Loved your comments! Had me laughing like and idiot at work!

[Elizabeth]

Toilet water?

[Audrey]

The shirt to the knees and leggings? I definitely wore that EXACT outfit in 1992. But, to be fair, I was in 4th grade. And pretty dorky.

Ahhh...the great green fields of Iowa. Now we know why this was Jenna's dream place to live!

[Art Nerd]

But if they shut off your water, that includes the water that fills the terlet, right? Or is there a special crapwater line that I don't know about? Homeowners?

And if they're boiling toilet water, they either have gas or electric. And in my experience, those are the more particular utilties in paying them on time. And the more expensive.

Well here's hoping Kyle never made an upper-decker!

[Elizabeth]

Yes, the toilet water was my favorite part. Lil' Frema's twisted logic is so endearing and also hilarious.
I'm glad the sequel is starting to get more interesting! But I totally wanted things to turn out good for Jenna. Regardless, I can't wait till next week!

[Molly]

I can't believe Michael has yet to figure out that Kay is KayLAAA! You hit it right on the head with the "women with emotional impairments" part. Geee-yaaah. Sometimes I can't believe you were only fourteen when you wrote this story - way to go Lil Frema!

I loved the outfits they were wearing. With Michael's jeans and tight white tshirt, you must have recently seen Top Gun, haha. (MMM.)

Can't wait to read more. I'm calling it - the big yellow sign that reads Drama Ahead!

[Sant]

Holy hell:) This, I think was your finest commentary, out of both series thus far! I love it-- those Flintstone vitamins are working some Frema magic;)

Where in the world to even begin?? Okay, how about Michael!? Vows, man- what about your vows? Oh, to hell with them? Okay, I bet crying sobbing complex Jenna will be okay with infidelity. I mean she's never had to deal with anything so trauma... oh wait. Well, that's it then. The only option left if for Jenna to go on her own rampage, and for Michael and Kayla to get it on. Son of a bitch.

At the same time, Kyle is asking his mother about falling in love... I dare not ask what kind of vitamins she's taking... because it is clearly not Flintstones, lest she would understand the basis for his question, and that is on any number of levels wrong-- whether it be their age, or you know, that splice of DNA they share. Whatever.

Alright, that's all I can process for now. Brilliant young Frema, and congrats on 10 weeks:)

[Anth]

Thanks for the pause allowing us a few moments to laugh our heads off...I needed it. Boiling toilet water? I love it.

And blah blah blah redeeming qualities -- does Michael actually have any anymore? Aside from being Dean Cain, of course.

I ate Lil' Critters kids vitamins during my first trimester and they were fantastic. Taste just like gummy bears. Ate them for a while after morning sickness stopped as well...until the doc said I had to switch back. Blech. I hate prenatals.

[daddy d]

The authors were of quality. Their works are good thoughts of human value. I hope the around trip was not too bad such that it out weighted the positive family and book stuff.

[Fraulein N]

I do think this is your best commentary yet. Oh, how these two dolts (Michael and Kayla, I mean) are MADE for each other.

[Silly Hily]

Michael, Michael, Michael...I can remember a day when you were so sweet and innocent and so in love with Jenna that you would do anything for her (read kidnapping). What happened to that magic you asshole!? Say it with me...the grass is not greener on the other side. Again....the grass is not greener on the other side. Especially when the other side is the woman who can fool your dumbass by changing only her hair color. You know, the woman who has a criminal record...for murder. You know, the woman who is just as dumb as you are and even more effed-up than your wife. (Remember her? Your wife?) You know, the woman who kind of mixes up love and lust and all but encourages her son to lust after her daughter...his SISTER.
I agree with Isabel. Michael seems to do this with ease. Are you pickin' up what she's puttin' down? I like it.
I have a feeling Kayla is going to get knocked up and karma's going to pay a visit to her (via Jenna).