Everything-But-the-Kitchen-Sink Wednesday

So, I tried on my swimsuit for the first time this year, and you know what?

I totally look pregnant in it.

Parading around my bedroom in front of our full-length mirror, marveling at the lessening gap between my gut rolls, I couldn't stop gazing at myself, couldn't stop rubbing my belly. I've taken the tests, I've heard the heartbeat, I've lost my dinner more times than I can count, and yet, it was like discovering I was pregnant for the first time. Like, oh my God, something is totally growing inside of me.

Needless to say, it's time for a new swimsuit.

(And since I'll be at the mall anyway, new underwear. My pants fit fine, but the skivvies are cutting off my circulation. When will Victoria's Secret wise up and start a maternity line?)

Things are at an even keel around here, as far as weight goes.

WEIGHT ON 2/28: 135.6
CURRENT WEIGHT: 129.4
TOTAL PREGNANCY POUNDS GAINED: -6.2

Lunch is getting harder and harder to plan for, as soups of all textures and flavors currently turn my stomach and frozen dinners and sandwiches sound as appealing as chunks of cardboard, so I've been trying to make do with apples, nectarines, yogurt, and a Ziplock bag stuffed with pickles until it's time to go home. This afternoon I broke down and spent five dollars and ten cents on three cheeseburgers, an order of mozzarella sticks, and a small fry from White Castle, but two bites into my second burger Freke sent a stern message via my digestive tract advising me to make wiser choices in the future. Can this really be a child of mine? Next thing you know it'll be jonesing for seafood. I love this baby, but not that much, you know?

I've also been busy pouring through potential texts for my blogging class this fall, as you can tell by the endless list of Amazon links on my About page. I didn't take any education classes in college or grad school, so teaching is brand-spanking new to me, and I'm terrified I won't have enough material to keep my students engaged for two and a half hours a week for thirteen weeks. Worse, I'm afraid my tendency to stumble over my words and talk too fast in front of large groups will give these undergrads the impression that I'm a complete and total idiot. And I'm not, I promise you I'm not, no matter what your mom might tell you.

Here are some of the topics I plan to address:

• The origin of blogs
• Popular technical features
• Available blogging technologies
• How blogs have influenced politics, business, advertising/marketing, and communications
• Web standards
• Copyright protection
• Privacy/safety issues
• Blogging versus the traditional personal essay
• Creative writing versus blogging
• Money-making opportunities

If you were taking my class, what else would you expect/hope to learn about blogging? Inquiring minds want to know.

Let's see, what else can I blab about? Luke and I are still waiting to see a two-bedroom apartment on hold for us within our complex, an apartment that's been vacant since May 13th but for some reason still isn't presentable enough to view. Whether it's this unit or another one, though, we are set to move on the last weekend of the month, and every few days or so one of us questions our decision. On one hand, we can get rid of a few items in our current place and find room for a crib and a Pack 'n Play, but on the other hand, wanting to have a kitchen table isn't that outrageous a desire, is it? On one hand, it'd be nice to save the extra ninety-five dollars a month a bigger apartment will require, but on the other hand, how long can two adults and a baby live in 675 square feet without somebody requesting a divorce or parental emancipation?

Round and round and round we go with the whole discussion until we realize that we just plain want the extra space because car seats and strollers and dressers and cribs can't be stored in our hall closet, so we are moving and that's the end of that.

Of course, too much space could also be an issue, as evidenced by the movie First Born starring Elisabeth Shue, which Luke and I rented and watched on Monday night. I'm a sucker for films revolving around demon-baby plots, and since the DVD's cover art featued an upside-down cross in the title and a tagline of "Stay away from the baby," I thought for sure I'd hit the supernatural jackpot. Only not so much.

The movie is centered around a couple of ritzy city-dwellers who find out they're with child and move to the suburbs, in a house larger than your local Dominick's, to provide a safe environment for their budding family.

(Spoilers ahead, in case you care.)

Elisabeth Shue goes into premature labor after tripping over rocks in her lawn and receives an emergency c-section. The nurse who shows her how to breastfeed tells her "it's all downhill from here." Her asshole husband--who had previously PROMISED to take time off when the baby arrived--leaves for work at six in the morning and never comes home earlier than ten. She develops mastitis. She accidentally locks herself in the basement while her daughter cries in her crib upstairs. She runs to the store and forgets to take the baby into the house. The doctors she contacts for help cut off the ends of her sentences. She finds an abandoned doll on the subway and takes it home, but it has a hard time staying in the same damn place. And through it all we're led to believe Elisabeth's Shues troubles might be caused by spirits in the new house or a manipulative witch masquerading as a kindly, elderly baby-sitter.

In the end she buries her baby in the backyard, thinking it's the doll, so my bet is on post-partum depression.

Probably not the best flick to see when you're one week away from your second trimester. We should've gone with Fast Food Nation.

Comments

[Katie]

I think the extra space would be worth $95/month! We're in a 750-square foot 2-bedroom. We have two adults, two kids, and a baby on the way. We all slept in one room, and the rest of the kid-related stuff and some storage was in the other bedroom. My husband was sleeping on an air mattress (he HATES our mattress), and both kids were in the queen-sized bed with me. Husband has been traveling, so now the room feels VERY spacious without the air mattress taking up all the room. My plan is to get bunk beds for the boys, and put the crib as a sidecar next to the bed. Husband can deal with the evil mattress or we can get a new one :-)

Anyway, the point is that we're squished. Get the bigger place :-)

Side note: I tried to convince my kids that they would hate Snickers ice cream bars since they don't like nuts, but the little buggers insisted on trying them anyway. One couldn't stand the nuts, but the other liked them. So less for me :-(

[TasterSpoon]

I like your list of class topics. Just prepare twenty minutes of actual information and ask a lot of questions - make every point socratically. Everybody loves a discussion class! Then space out your pearls of knowledge over the two and a half hours to remind them that you're the expert.

Have 'em start a blog and share with the class to compare notes.

Maybe in your privacy/safety section you could also cover personal ramifications. You know, your rights vis a vis employers, or legal and practical steps to take if you get a web-based harasser or something. Maybe that's what you meant.

[SB]

Holy shit. Is that movie based on a true story?

Hope you find something you can eat soon. :)

[Audrey]

This may fall under Available Blogging Technologies, but maybe you can include something about basic html coding, how to create a visually pleasing design, stuff like that?

[Rachel C]

that...movie sounds horrible! who wrote that screenplay out and thought it was a good idea? crazy movie-makers.

Your class sounds fun! I'm sure you'll be great. I teach nutrition classes now and in college I didn't take any education classes so I didn't really know what I was doing at first, but now I'm awesome (if I do say so myself).

I hope food starts sounding more appetizing soon!

[Jessie]

Pregnant or not, I think that movie would have freaked me out!

We're trying for a baby, and I've gained weight, using the excuse that I'm enjoying food while I still can. I'm nauseous all the time anyway, I can't imagine it will get any better when I'm pregnant.

[Isabel]

What a great intro. It made me feel all good inside.

So what would I want to hear about? How about how communities are formed online? I know that it was something I had no idea about and how been shocked (SHOCKED) to find. I mean, I've met some awesome people online that I would have never met if it weren't for our blogs.

Just a thought...

[Liz]

"how long can two adults and a baby live in 675 square feet without somebody requesting a divorce or parental emancipation?"

Heee!

The three of us live in about 700 square feet. The Mistah and I have been here for 7 years, Henry's been here for 14 months. You'd be surprised! Then again, our 700 square feet is broken into lr/dr/master br/half br/kitchen/teensy bath. And we have a washer/dryer in our kitchen.

Ah! City living. Space as far as the eye can... swing a dead cat?

Also? Will your class be podcasted?

[Jana]

Just wait. Our house is 1800 sq. feet and it's not big enough for all the baby stuff!
Really, new panties? I never bought panties when I was preggo. Love the low-cut thongs!TMI?

[Angela]

That sounds like a TERRIBLE movie! Who takes a doll home from the subway anyway? How very bizarre.

Your class sounds fantastic though! I agree with the person that suggested they start a blog. Will there be computers in the classroom? Maybe they can have 30 minutes of blogging time each session or something if you are looking to fill time.

[daddy d]

Space is good. It is like money. There never is too much of it.Living space is like work. It expands to fill up what there is to fill up.

[jenabeeb]

"Next thing you know it'll be jonesing for seafood. I love this baby, but not that much, you know?"

One of the funniest lines I've read in a while! Because I feel the exact same way about seafood and would say the same thing!

[mjd]

Beckie, a fellow blogger, is interested in blogging etiquette. If there are some rules of etiquette of blogging, that might be a relevant topic in your college class.

[VirginiaGal]

Another vote for having them create a blog as part of the class requirements (nothing like some hands on experience), and then letting the other members of the class evaluate them along the way...for style, not for content though 'cause that could get ugly.

Have you tried some granola bars? The Kashi line has good protein and fiber with no artificial preservatives, but if sandwiches taste like cardboard, they might too.

[Operation Pink Herring]

That movie sounds horrible and disturbed. She buried the BABY?

I think $95 for an extra bedroom sounds like a bargain. I don't know how all you commenters do it -- I have a 2 bedroom house for just me and my boyfriend and I feel like i am suffocating! Maybe because our house is poorly planned and has no closets and my boyfriend is the world's biggest packrat?

Are you going to have to show your students your blog? I dont know why, but I think that would be weird for me.

[Molly]

Action packed entry!

I love the food choices you brought to work with you, and the ones you ordered. That's too funny. I once called Kevin at 10pm on my way home from somewhere or other, pregnant with KJ, insisting that I needed the biggest "the works" pizza we could find. Which is interesting, because I hate three quarters of the works. I took two bites, picked the awful stuff off the rest of that piece, and passed the rest of the pizza to my open-armed husband. He's so supportive, you know.

I can't wait to see you and your baby belly together.

Also, your blogging topics sound great. I second Isabel with the community thing. Also, I seriously need to take your class.

Last but not least, maybe you should try to stay away from the baby killing movies, just through pregnancy? Haha. (Btw, I totally did NOT re-read the plot after you'd already told it to me.)

[Molly]

How could I forget to say that you are the winner on who can live on the least square footage!? After living in 675 square feet, you guys are going to get lost in a bigger place. Totally go for it.

[Rachel]

Wow, that's pretty small for lots of baby things! You definitely should go for the 2 bedroom.

I think I would learn alot from your blogging class! Sounds like you've got it covered to me, but I do like the idea of having them start their own blogs.

Um, where is a picture of this baby belly????

[Silly Hily]

I can't believe ES did that movie. That's horrible. Horrible! I loved her in Adventures in Babysitting and The Saint and Cocktail and just can't see her in a movie like you just described. Blah.
Don't listen to Jana on the panty issue. I can say that because I know her in real life and she was all baby and back in her clothes in like a week or something. She's tiny.
I had to buy new underwear because my hips got so wide. And well, b/c I got fat. Hum.
What DOES Freke like? I would have to draw the line at seafood also.
I think the extra space will be nice and you'll be glad you moved to a two bedroom.