Time won't give me time

As the summer gradually transitions into fall, the Frema-Useless Clutter household is making some drastic changes in the area of time management. Or rather, Frema is making some drastic changes. For the past few months I've been kind of skating around in my own little world, going with the flow, living la pregnant loca, and it's time to stop being so damned selfish.

Prior to my first-trimester morning sickness, I kept semi-regular hours at work, arriving around nine o'clock and leaving between five and five-thirty. Eventually, though, the fatigue from Nausea Fest 2007 caught up with me, and my feet refused to leave the sanctity of my mattress before eight o'clock. By the time I showered and forced myself out the door, it was almost nine-thirty, which wasn't a huge deal--my boss is very flexible--but it meant I had to stick around later to complete a standard work day. Once I was feeling up to par again, you'd think I'd have gone back to my old ways, but it still wasn't unusual for me mosey out the door as late as ten-thirty and peck away at the keyboard until seven or eight o'clock, thus issuing a proverbial slap in the face to the husband who's in charge of making dinner and would appreciate seeing his wife before the sun goes down.

What can I say? I am not a morning person.

Anyway, that schedule wrecked havoc on our evenings, because even though I'd make sure the apartment was clean before I left, there'd be at least one blog to update when I got home, an episode of All My Children to watch, a phone call to return, a book to flip through for class, and then suddenly it was one o'clock in the morning and I'd be wondering when exactly Luke had gone to bed and why I'd allowed him to hit the sheets alone. Again.

It took all the activity surrounding the last couple of weeks--BlogHer, camping, and playing catch-up at work--for me to realize how much I've missed the time Luke and I spend together and how quickly our existence as a DINKY twosome will morph into parenthood. Four months from now, a new person will enter the world, a person we created, a person who'll expand our family and capture our hearts and completely revolutionize the way we approach our lives.

Until then, though, we can snuggle on the couch and indulge in idle conversation, pour over photo albums, and simply enjoy each other's company, and I plan on doing just that, no matter how busy things get before then.

Yesterday, for the first time since spring, I hopped in the shower before eight a.m. I left work on time. I came home and sat at the table with Luke over a dinner of pork chops and biscuits and we talked about our day. We finally drafted a post-maternity leave budget (a story for another post, most definitely). We returned movies and picked up shakes. And we turned out our lights at the same time, before midnight. It was wonderful.

This morning, I instructed Luke to delete my daily AMC recording from the VCR. Tonight, we're going to a baseball game to witness Indianapolis's minor league baseball team in action. The dishes will be done. My blogs will be updated. And it will be just the two of us, the way it's been for more than six years, the way it will be for just a little while longer. I'll gladly soak up every second.

Comments

[Silly Hily]

Yes. Do! Soak up every moment. Not that the future won't be fabulous and wonderful with little Freka but it will never again be just you and Luke. I'm sure every mother that reads you will agree in telling you that we speak from experience: Don't take these last months of just the two of you for granted. It sounds like you won't. Good for you!
Have fun at the ballgame!

[Lindsey]

Well, pregnant or not, it is very easy to slip into the habit of not spending enough time together or not spending QUALITY time together (I don't even mean to imply sex here either, I just mean being under the same roof and actually paying attention to one another)...and then one day you look around and think, wait a second?? What happened to "us" time?! It sucks when I realize it's my own damn fault!

[Kelly]

We're just now planning our first date out, and Aiden's 10 weeks old. I miss those days when it was just the two of us (although my baby is the best thing ever)!
So enjoy and savor this time together. You definitely have the right idea!

[David McNelis]

I miss the Indianapolis Indians games so much. Victory Field is one of the best places I've ever had the pleasure of taking in a baseball game. They are just down right fun there (of course, I'm a bit of a baseball freak in my own right....)

I'm jealous of getting to goto the game. Not to mention, minor league baseball is fun because everyone playing has something to prove (if they didn't they'd, you know, be in the majors).

[Molly]

That's the best pre-baby plan ever!! While your lives will change mostly for the better in a few months, there's no doubt they're going to be turned upside down.

I'm right there with you on being a night person. How I wish my children would sleep past 7am. (Ohhh how I wish.)

[Isabel]

What a great post. As always.

Just last night Ken and I were on the couch snuggling with Babboo before family prayers and bedtime. We were all having such a great time. I looked up at Ken and said "what did we do before Babboo was here?!" Because really, he makes spending time together so much better.

Just you wait...

[Becca]

Good for you! The thing about returning movies and picking up shakes really spoke to me for some reason. Maybe because we have yet to return a single movie on time since our son was born. Or maybe because I miss the effortlessness of running out for milkshakes together like we did before we had a little one with a 6:30 bedtime.

Anyway, savor this time. Like others have said, having a child is wonderful, but your time is not your own anymore.

[Marriage-101]

Glad you realized this now, while you've still got four months of alone time to enjoy each other and anticipate your new life ahead. I just love nights like that.

[daddy d]

Good job in thinking through all of those time management concepts. You have it figured out. Babies do change life styles, for sure.

[Jenny]

GOOD FOR YOU!

[mjd]

I hope that your time at the baseball park is grand and that the hometown team wins. Take care.

[Erica]

Soak it up! Time is precious, enjoy the moment, cause it will be different once that sweet baby is born. It will be wonderful, but different. Have fun at the ballgame.

[Carrisa]

it's too bad ABC doesn't offer their soaps online to watch like cbs does. it's a great way to spend a lunch hour.

Y&R forever baby!

oh and my hubs and I never go to bed at the same time. that boy stays up way too late for my tastes.

[Eva]

Good for you - what a nice, inspiring reminder. I'm going to try to savour the remaining 16 weeks of my DINK lifestyle too. Our problem isn't tv shows or sleeping in, it's just that damn "life happens while making plans" thing.
Also wanted to comment on your parents.com book review of "Girlfriend's Guide To Pregnancy" but I was too lazy to register and remember a zillionth password. Agree with most of your points ESPECIALLY the ten months thing which is complete garbage. What I liked was what she said about her husband not being as obsessed with the pregnancy as her, but becoming this amazing dad as soon as each baby arrived. Only she said it longer and better and truly gave me hope - as much as Brad is positive and encouraging and supportive, until the baby's out there in his arms, the whole thing is a bit one-sided at this point...

[Audrey]

Awww, I love this post! The "just the two of us" time is one of the main reasons we're not planning on kids for a little while longer. Neither of us is ready to stop being selfish in that area yet. :)

[Debbie]

You know, one of the things I really miss the most about the time before we had kids was sitting on the couch with hubby and watching TV. It's sad how that has become such a treat now because it hardly ever, ever happens!

Enjoy the next 4 months with just him!

[Rachel]

This post made me almost cry, Frema! So very sweet! Your love for Luke is so incredibly evident in this post. Not that I doubted it, but, you know what I'm sayin!

I am so glad that the two of you are able to enjoy the limited time you have left as just the two of you.