Day four of NaBloPoMo...

...and I'm already questioning my commitment. Luke woke me up from a delicious cat nap to make sure I had enough time to post today's entry. I almost said "To hell with it" and went back to sleep, but I didn't because I'm...dedicated? Just plain stupid? Only time will tell.

I know my half-hearted attitude towards blogging these days comes from the numerous to-dos already competing for my time. Today was another action-packed day, filled with more family visiting, more apartment cleaning, more Christmas shopping, and even more maternity clothes shopping, seeing as most of the items I received in my last Gap order are already too snug, and also seeing as it's unacceptable to attend professional work functions in a shirt that constantly threatens to expose the mass of purple stretch marks hiding underneath.

(As I'm typing this, Luke is giving me a wonderful massage with one of those hand-held contraptions you can get at Bed Bath & Beyond for like, ten bucks. So good, and so worth it.)

Anyway, for those of you wondering, Tori's concert on Friday was wonderful, and I'm so glad I decided to go, even though I felt like a senior citizen in my black pants and sneakers compared to the college-aged grungies in ripped tights and brightly dyed hair and the savvier gals who donned heels, jeans, and jackets, jackets that wouldn't stand a chance against my plentiful waistline. I only left twice to pee--once during the opening act, and once during her second encore performance, after listening long enough to make sure the song wasn't one I would kick myself for missing. Freka liked it, too; for at least half of the show, she couldn't stay still.

Speaking of Freka (ha! Like there's anything else I talk about these days), tomorrow I'll be thirty-five weeks, and I'm genuinely amazed at how quickly this last stretch is slipping through my fingers. Instead of constantly devising new ways to relieve my back pain, my thoughts are now centered around delivery and postpartum: preparing my birth plan, coming up with questions to ask potential pediatricians, whether or not I'll labor in my own things or the hospital's poor excuse for a gown, and how in the world I'll manage breastfeeding around my family during the first month when I'll have to whip out a boob every two hours. My mother formula-fed all five of us, and though she's supportive of my desire to nurse, she's already said something along the lines of "You're not going to do that in front of your father, are you?" As if feeding my child were on par with pole dancing in an x-rated night club, even though I've seen more breast at work parading under the guise of business casual than I have from nursing mothers in all those parenting magazines I skim at the doctor's office.

I picked up two nursing camis and one nursing bra from Target this afternoon, so at least I've got some clothing that'll keep the quote-unquote indecent exposure down to a minimum, and I'm not against using a blanket around those who are truly uncomfortable with watching a woman breastfeed, but I hate being made to feel like I'm doing something that needs to be covered up in the first place.

I also think about how long I'm going to make it in my current ginormous state before I either abandon work for early FMLA leave or demand the doctor induce me.

Yes, I admit it. I am big. Huge. The belly, it is gargantuan.

I know this because Luke and I attended a labor support class at our hospital last week, and despite all six of us having due dates ranging within one week of each other, I was the only mom-to-be who looked like the simple act of breaking wind would be enough to bring her baby into the world.

If only it were that simple.

Comments

[Jessi]

I am soooo excited for you - I can't wait to hear how little Freka comes into this world!

[Molly]

Happy 35 weeks, friend. This was the day in my pregnancy that I delivered Jack. I have to question God in his big 4-0 plan anyway. I think 36-ish is plenty, no?

[AD]

Keep in mind birth plans are just wish lists-you will need to be prepared that it may not go exactly how you want it; drugs-no drugs, natural-cesarean, breast-formula. Every mother has an idea of how it should be but in all reality most mom's admit it just didn't happen that way. I don't want you to be disapointed-so keep an open mind. As for breast-feeding in front of people (dad and mom) there is no shame and its very natural, you can always excuse yourself to another room.....and most importantly...... Stop at a year-it's so gross watching toddlers that can chew and drink pulling at momma's boob at the park saying feed me! Ah yes I am aware I have probably started a huge debate on how long children should be breast-fed, some of those breast-feeding advoctes scare me. (I think they are part of a cult)
Happy Birthing!
Love AD

[Brooke]

I didn't care about how other people felt when I was breast feeding I popped my boob out and if they didn't like it too bad my baby needed to eat. It was to hard for me to cover up and breast feed the blanket got in my way. I love you and can't wait to see you!

[Elizabeth]

When I breast-fed, I really didn't want to flash people, so I was discreet and used a blanket over my shoulder. But damn if I was going to go in another room if people were around. What really gets me is the chair in the bathroom (seen recently at church) for nursing moms. If I can take out a bottle and feed my child right in the pew, I can certainly nurse in the pew (and I have). I just can't understand that there is a difference! Really, would you eat your dinner in the john?

Sorry for the rant! Happy week 35! Just 5 more to go until that little bundle is in your arms.

[Lindsey]

I'm glad you had fun at the concert! I just want to reiterate how excited I am for you and your wee family. You and Luke are going to be such awesome parents. I cannot wait to see little Freka!

[Debbie]

I'm weird...I'm totally pro-breastfeeding (did so with both of my kids until they were 1) but I hate it when women do it indiscreetly in front of me. I don't want to see anyone else's boobs. And trust me, there are plenty of ways of doing it without exposing yourself! And you'll get the hang of it within a couple weeks!

I guess all I'm saying is that people can be uncomfortable with it and still be all for the act itself.

Is it scary to think that you're just 1 week away from being full-term?

[cagey]

I just posted today on my BoobLog about The Great Coverup while breastfeeding. With the first kid, I was all about the blanket, now with the 2nd - not so much. 2nd kid was born in July and seriously, some of the clothes girls are wearing these days left them less covered up than little ole me nursing my kid.

Don't stress the blogging - you have more important things to do. Making a human from scratch is a bit time consuming.

[Bethany]

Wear the crappy hospital gown. Things could get messy and you don't want to ruin your own stuff. But definitely bring your own pillow.

[Christar]

You're doing better than me in NaBloPoMo. I've only posted once so far... I'm still gonna try and do the best I can this month, but I already screwed up. I suck.

[Katie]

I was thinking of maybe doing NaBloPoMo, but then I decided definitely not. But then on Nov. 1 I changed my mind. But then on Nov. 2, I forgot to post. So now I don't have to have the stress!

AD - No one else took the bait, so I will. I am a mom to a nursing 3.5-year old AND a newborn. My oldest weaned at age 4.5. I think it is gross when people wean at age 1 ;-) Even the American Academy of Pediatrics and World Health Organization recommend breastfeeding past age one! Those are hardly cultish/hippie groups! I hope Frema ignores comments like yours and nurses little Freka as long as they both want to!

[daddy dd]

Your size says that the baby is not an under weight baby. And that is a good thing.

[eva]

I'm very nervous about nursing in front of ... my dad. Just my dad. I can handle mom, sister, in-laws, but Dad??! Eeek! btw - wait until week 36! My baby has started to drop and yay - relief from acid reflux!

[Jessica]

About the hospital gown...wear it! They will be happy to bring you another to wear as a robe so you aren't flashing any butt while walking the halls or what have you. By the end of my labor the gowns were pretty much hitched up to my boobs and pointless, so no matter. You might want your own while recovering, but you will be bleeding like crazy. Why not mess up the hospital's robes you are paying out the wazoo for?

[Joanne]

I was nervous about nursing in front of my parents but I really got over it. In the beginning my babe nursed so much it was like impossible to not expose a little boob. I hope it goes really well for you.

[C.]

The most you flash while nursing is a nipple now and again - usually while starting and stopping the process. And I found that most people have the good manners to avert their eyes and not stare at your boobs. Those that do stare are usually other women who have or are nursing, and they are watching fondly as your baby latches on.

I agree with Katie - nurse as long as you and the baby are comfortable doing so. Don't let comments like "cultish" and "chewing on the nipple" affect you. That's just rude and small-minded and uninformed.

[Debbie Lynch]

I'm only 13 weeks and people think I'm 6 months (so I hear the constant ribbing too). I just wanted to say I'm glad that I found your blog. I feel miserable but reading about your progression has put a smile on my face along with major giggles out loud! Thank you for sharing.....you're doing more good than you know!