I was a good kid, I swear

For a while there, it looked like today's was going to be another bullshit entry--Luke and I woke this morning to find our wireless modem had no signal, and after a phone call to AT&T's tech support line, we learned it had indeed met its maker. At first we thought we'd have to wait a few days for a replacement and made plans to crash Luke's work (which is fewer than ten minutes away) and publish obligatory placeholder entries for NaBloPoMo, but since the modem had outlived the initial one-year warranty, we were free to hit to Best Buy and spend ninety dollars on a new one instead. Which we did, which is why I'm able to type at you from the work computer in my living room sated with Oreo pudding and Sara Lee cheesecake instead of an empty office building with no windows and probably no snacks.

Anyway, today was busier than yesterday--there was church to attend, Mexican food to feast on, errands to run, computers to reconfigure, and a little napping on the couch to do in between reading pages from The Big Book of Birth, a book I've really come to enjoy. It was tempting to post another quickie update, but you guys have been very patient and deserve better than the crap I've been slinging lately. It still might be crap, but at least not for a lack of trying.

...And on with the Q&A. Wilddreemer wants to know:

What is one thing you did as a child you hope your child doesn't do?

Take one of my shitty diapers and wipe the contents on the walls. Scoop handfuls of applesauce from the jar and eat it with my bare hands. Wet my pants during fourth grade math. "Accidentally" poke my sister with a nail file. Prank toll-free mental support hotlines under the guise that I was a thirty-something corporate professional whose husband just had been caught in an affair with his administrative assistant. Kiss boyfriends in deserted alleys to avoid getting caught by my parents. Scribble in library books. But the worst thing I ever done--I mixed a pot of fake puke at home, and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa--and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

Wait, that last one was Chunk. My bad.

What is the one thing you are looking forward to doing most after finally having the baby, ie. drinking coffee, touching your toes, shaving your legs?

I've never been fond of coffee, I don't care much for my toes, and with careful (albeit uncomfortable) manuvering, I've been able to maintain normal leg-shaving activity, so those are out. So what I do miss? Sleeping on my back. Grooming my lady parts; hell, being able to see my lady parts without assistance from a mirror. Eating cold lunchmeat without fear of poisoning my unborn child. "Enjoying" my husband. Wearing clothes from New York and Company instead of Motherhood Maternity. I'm so excited about banishing my maternity wardrobe to a tupperware bin in our storage unit until it's time to do this all over again.

As much I as look forward to those things, though, I've surprised myself with the realization that, once this is over, I'll actually miss being pregnant. The first trimester sucked major ass--just thinking about all that morning sickness makes me nauseous--and with the exception of our ultrasound and some moderate fetal activity, the second one wasn't much to write home about, either. But the third trimester.... This is where I feel like I've really come to know my baby, experiencing her sharp jabs and gentle, wave-like rolls, rubbing my hands over the protuding shoulder or elbow or whatever the hell happens to be poking me at the moment. This is where Luke and I can talk to her and she can recognize our voices. This is where I know she's safe all the time, where nobody can get to her without my permission.

This is my first real glimpse at motherhood, and I cannot wait for the rest. 

Comments

[eva]

I totally agree with you about the 3rd trimester - getting to know someone through her movements inside of you is amazing! Btw your "placeholder" nablopomo entries are hilarious - if I'd bothered participating my whole month would have been one-liner postings :)

[daddy d]

We have all done things that could be thought of as bad in our youth. I just don't remember what I did during that time of life. Maybe, I could dig up something from the past, but not now.
I am glad you got the computer thing figured out. It is a real link with the world.

[Becca]

I love your description of the third trimester!! I did not have such a good attitude as you. I couldn't wait to sleep on my stomach and every night I laid awake imagining a special mattress with a hole for my belly so I could sleep comfortably.

[Emmakirsten]

Your description of all trimesters is perfect, as I sit here, trying to push his foot or arm back in for jutting out uncomfortably from my side. I can't wait to sleep on my back! As for missing pregnancy, this is definately my last so I am trying to enjoy and remember every last minute before he comes, because this is the last time I'll be doing this, come on 5 kids is enough!

[Molly]

You cracked me up with the Chunk story. I thought, no WAY did she do that, and then bwahahaha Chunk. (Baby Roof?)

Those kicks and jabs are what make it all worthwhile, eh? Thankfully, those are the parts of pregnancy we hang on to the most. That's how we convince ourselves to have multiple children, haha.

[Christar]

I was starting to freak out about that puke thing... Ewwww.

So I just had a thought.... what if Freka comes early... I mean, still in November... and then you can't finish NaBloPoMo?! What would you do?! ;)

[Lindsey]

It sounds like you have a lot of things to be excited about post-baby. The most exciting thing clearly being the baby herself. Although, New York and Company definitely comes in as a close second--they do have some cute things in there these days! :-)

[Rachel]

That last trimester is the best. I totally miss all the kicks and jumps and the hiccups too.