If this baby were a turkey, she could feed the whole Brady clan. I'm sure of it.

Seriously. Spouses, kids--the whole shebang. Lucky for me they're not into cannibalism. Also, that they're fictional characters who don't celebrate Thanksgiving together in real life. Or possibly at all. Really, who's to say?

I'll stop blabbering now and just show you the damn belly shot already.

I'm trying to maintain a zen-like attitude regarding Freka's due date, trying to convince God and myself that I'm perfectly OK with the baby deciding on her own when it's time to join the mother and father who have so earnestly prepared for her arrival, but my hands are starting to go numb. Climbing in and out of bed is no smaller a feat than nabbing a gold medal in the Olympics, and a full bladder reduces my stride to an off-kilter duck waddle while en route to the john. Sugary drinks and cereals aren't as easy to digest anymore (though that hasn't stopped me from eating all the Smarties I can get my hands on), and it only takes about twenty minutes of activity for massive swelling to attack my legs and feet.

When I dwell on all of that, I pray my daughter has mercy on her poor momma's physique and makes her debut on December 1. This will allow me to finish out one more full week of work and also keep the inscription featured on the stuffed elephant gifted by my sister and her husband--"Baby Dunscombe December 2007"--nice and relevant. Plus, it's a Saturday, so people would be able to visit us without sacrificing their vacation time.

See how thoughtful I am? Hopefully, Freka will follow suit.

Even though there are several items on my prenatal to-do list that are far from being crossed off, I feel closer and closer to being as ready as I can be for this baby to come. I graded the majority of my students' final papers tonight (only stopping because I lost most of the feeling in my left hand) and plan to do the rest tomorrow. I'll also tally their final letter grades and mail them to the registrar's office on Wednesday so that I'm free and clear of all academic responsibility come Turkey Day. Luke and I have been pretty good about keeping the apartment in order so that we're not faced with a sinkful of dishes in the event that labor takes us completely by surprise, and except for a few family-style frozen dinners, our fridge and pantry are pretty well stocked. Pretty soon, there'll be nothing to distract me from willing this child out of my body.

In church yesterday, when revealing my due date to a well-meaning parishoner, she laughed a little and said, "That was my due date with my first. She didn't come until December 19."

At this point, I hate those remarks even more than ones about my belly. Another month of no baby? Of heavy panting just from rolling over in bed? Another month of WORK?

Somebody, ANYBODY, hand me a tissue.

Comments

[eva]

I'm so impressed that you're all decorated for Christmas already! But disappointed that you didn't mention the AGONY of putting on shoes with laces. Because it IS its own whole workout these days isn't it?

[mjd]

December 1st sounds like a great day for Freka's birth. That day would also give you, Luke, and the little girl time to rest up for the holidays. In any event, she will be here soon. I am very excited to hold my little granddaughter.

[Katie]

Don't worry, I don't think your doctors will let you go that far past your due date now-a-days! Is it completely unbelievable to you and Luke that this will be your last holiday sans baby? You're still looking great! :)

[Molly]

Oh WOW. I can imagine that those late baby comments would be the worst of all. I'm still calling you early, Bree - somewhere in week 39. And yes, a weekend would be positively splendid. (Kids never listen to us, btw.)

Do we get to place bets or have some sort of official due date competition?

[Lisa]

So I guess you don't want to hear that I was 22 days late. In August. My poor mother.

But I'm sure Freka will be much more considerate than I was.

[Operation Pink Herring]

But if the baby comes in November, that December elephant will provide great story material! I was way premature, and the stuffed bear that my mom had ready for me was bigger than I was when I was born. I always loved that story because it made the birth story feel real.

[Becca]

Do you have access to a trampoline? Just kidding. I'll send happy Dec 1 thoughts your way.

[Fraulein N]

Don't you wish you could send her little messages? Like, "Okay, you can come out now," or maybe a giant flashing arrow to show her the way out.

[Rachel]

I say that December 1st is a good day, Freka. But, then again, none of my kids listen to me, so why should she.

One word of assvice though, whatever food you have in your stomach when you go into labor, will, in most cases, be purged one way or another, so you may want to consider eating kind of light on Thanksgiving if you even think you could be having real contractions.

[Emmakirsten]

You look great, and you are decorated for Christmas already!

It'll be over soon, that's what I keep reminding myself.....but I hear you on the getting into bed comment, walking with a full bladder, everything!

[daddy d]

You are so ready. The plan has been worked out and now you wait on nature to bring the baby into the world.

[KARA!]

You are one of the cutest pregnant women ever! Can't wait to see this baby!

[KiKi]

Aww, you look so cute! I was a pig by this time. I was also a week late and cried everyday so I'm feeling you. Just hang in there! Best to you!

[Liz]

I keep saying it...you look WONDERFUL!

(and also? I tagged you for a silly meme)

[Christar]

I think December 1st is totally ideal. It sounds good, and it fits well in your schedulte, but hopefully Freka thinks so too! :)
When is your due date again?