Preparing my nest; also, let's count how many variations of "damn" appear in this entry

I think depression and nesting are in the same boat. As in, they're both terms that get tossed around way too casually and far too often.

For example, a person might feel sad for a couple of days, maybe a week even, and label themselves as depressed, when really it's a condition that doesn't apply unless that sadness stretches on for weeks at a time, preventing said person from completing normal, everyday tasks. In high school, I thought listening to mix tapes of easy listening love songs and prank calling my ex-boyfriend meant I was depressed, when in reality I was just a big fat loser with no life. Sad? Yes--on many levels. But depressed? No.

Same thing with nesting. Just because a pregnant woman vaccuums her rugs or washes a sinkful of dishes doesn't mean she's nesting. Maybe she's always been a neat freak. Maybe she's releasing pent-up energy. Or maybe, just maybe, she's simply cleaning her damn house.

Lots of people think I'm nesting, but I think I'm just doing what I always do: meticulously preparing for a significant life event. I did it when Luke moved in. I did it again when we got married. And I did it once more when we upgraded our apartment. It only makes sense I'd want things in order before we introduce a new human being into our home.

That isn't to say the nesting instinct doesn't exist. One of my company VPs relayed a story about his wife pushing him out of bed at twelve-thirty in the morning during her last month of pregnancy insisting he take out the trash. Our sales director told me that days before his wife gave birth to their first child this summer, she was on her hands and knees scrubbing their floors even though she'd just mopped them the day before. To me, those are signs of nesting--irrational yet uncontrollable urges that must be satisfied NOW because OH MY GOD, THE BABY IS COMING.

I have not reached that point yet. Luke and I have made countless trips to the grocery store to stock our pantry and refrigerator, and yeah, I make sure all the dishes are washed and put away before bed every night (what woman wants to come home from the hospital to cereal bowls crudded with dried-up Raisin Bran?), but in my non-gestating state, that wouldn't be anything unusual. I'm almost hoping I do something crazy like get up at six in the morning to dust all the pages in my books, just to know what it feels like. And if I do, I promise, Internet, you'll be the first to know.

Anyway, I'm not really feeling the Q&A stuff tonight, so instead, I'll just present another round of... 

Project Freka: Prenatal Edition

• Write thank-you cards for shower gifts
• Purchase life insurance
• Create will-like document to secure guardianship and general well-being of Frema-Useless Clutter offspring
• Start Roth IRA for Luke (because if we don't now, we never will)

How naive am I for thinking there's still a chance we can fit this one in?

• Complete application for private student loan consolidation (who wouldn't mind saving thirty bucks a month? Not me, that's for damn sure!)
• Wipe down bedroom blinds (ours, baby's)
• Clean car (wash exterior, disinfect/vaccuum interior)
• Fill out engagement book (because really, enough with the procrastinating already)

I'm crossing this out because it ain't gonna happen. Handwriting anything these days requires a special focus I just don't have anymore. Maybe postpartum.

• Order wedding pictures from photographer (for reasoning, see above)

This one's off because I want to wait and see how the first couple of months of my temporary unemployment go before spending hundreds of dollars on something that isn't a breast pump or a car seat (hot damn if we don't already have to investigate the next size up). If we have money near the end, we'll place an order.

• Print recent family photos and sort them into albums, seeing as eight weeks from now I'll be mostly preoccupied with somebody else's eating, sleeping, and pooping habits

Even though it's actually doable, this bad boy's gone, too, because I don't want the pressure.

• Renew domain registration and TypePad account
• Burn TLF soundtrack for Audrey out of gratitude for her mad summarizing skillz (I totally intended to create a kick-ass play list for the sequel, but...well...I didn't)
• Organize baby's room/assemble baby gear

Our rocking chair was finally picked up by the upholstery shop owner on Wednesday morning, and after offering profuse apologies for not doing so last week, promised to have the whole thing done by this weekend. I did not complain. The stroller, play yard, and swing still need assembling, but I'm not concerned. Like I said last week, we don't plan on taking any big family outings during the first few weeks of Freka's life that would require toting her around for long periods of time (and if we did, we inherited a Baby Bjorn from my brother- and sister-in-law that'll work just fine), and the play yard isn't as necessary for the first few months, so as long as we (read: Luke) can get the swing put together this weekend, life is good.

• Research nursing bras/camis
• Prepare and freeze several meals for easy reheating during baby's first few weeks
• Explore cheap birth announcement ideas
• Purchase and wrap Christmas presents
• Find a pediatrician
• Install, inspect car seat

Done! Luke and I both visited a local fire station this week to have our car seat and bases inspected by a certified car seat technician, and all I can say is these inspections should be required of every parent with a driver's license and an automobile by law. BY LAW. It's amazing to know how easy it is to create hazardous traveling conditions for your child.

• Pack hospital bags

I can't believe how quickly time is flying by. I have a couple of work meetings tomorrow and Monday, but other than that I'll be "on call," working from home through next Friday. I've decided to begin my maternity leave on Freka's due date (December 10, if that hasn't been grilled into your brain already) whether she's here or not because dammit, I am Done, and my practice will recommend induction at week 41, anyway, and I can't imagine not taking them up on it. Even though, in my heart of hearts, I still think this girl's coming early.

Please baby girl, come early. Momma's begging you.

Comments

[Jenny]

I am not pregnant, but I have told a few people that I feel like I've been nesting the last few weeks myself. Cooking, cleaning, straightening, re-arranging. I think that non-pregnant women can go through periods of that too.

Or maybe I just caught something from Molly?

The countdown is on! Only a short time left. Enjoy these last special days the two of you (and I mean you and Freka) have together in such a special way!

[Molly]

Bastard computer just ate my first comment, and boy it was a doozie.

I nest constantly. Even if there really is no such thing as nesting, it would have to be invented for me. I never stop, day or night.

Also, I think you should have that fabulous baby this weekend. I'm free. You?

[auntie betty]

how did the rocker turn out? love to see a pic of it

[mjd]

First, we are waiting for THE CALL... whenever that is in the next few weeks.

You are right being sad is not depression. When bad things happen being sad, even incredibly sad, is a normal response. I am not sure about nesting. Two and half weeks before Luke's brother was born, we moved into a new apartment. I did work kind of non-stop to get the new apartment ready, but that was probably due to necessity rather than nesting.

[Jana]

People thought I was nesting, too. I just cleaned my house like I always did. Nothing different. My clue? I didn't leave the house to go shopping or do anything for the few days before I had Ryan. THAT is what was unusual for me.

[Liz]

I'll bet your stats are skyrocketing- I keep checking every morning to see if you've gone into labor yet! :)

[Fraulein N]

My mother was washing my hair -- while having contractions! -- right before my brother was born. Now THAT'S nesting. And I do think everybody, pregnant or not, goes through periods where they need to make sure everything in the house is taken care of RIGHT NOW.

[ambitiousmrs]

It is annoying when everyone accuses you of nesting. But I'm not sure you can identify the behavior in yourself. I had a crazy fit of organizing our junk drawer into ziplock bags at 10pm one night just before my baby was born. I think that counts now that I look back on it!

[Christina]

I had the nesting comments too but really Im just anal about cleaning and being organized. Plus, I think its bs, for us it was more about the 7 week parade of visitors coming and them not seeing the goo in the bottom of the fridge.
Heres hoping for early!!

[Isabel]

Someone told me near the end of my pregnancy to not worry, because OF COURSE the baby will come. In the history of the world there has never been a woman who just stayed pregnant forever. I know it sounds lame, but it helped me during those last few weeks.

Good luck!

[Christar]

I know what you mean about the nesting thing. I get so annoyed when everyone tells me they have OCD, because they don't. Everyone has those weird little quirks that they have... EVERYONE. OCD goes with rituals that the person feels like they HAVE to do, otherwise, they think something bad will happen.

My bet is still on Dec. 5th!

[Summer]

I too think she will come early... I check several times a day for a post that you're off to the hospital...
P.S I followed you here from Parents...

[CPA Mom and Soccer Mom Angela]

My first baby came at 40 weeks and one day. I'm rooting for December 11. Come on Freka!