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February 04, 2008

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I don't even know what to say. My heart aches for you...I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling. You are so lucky though, to be able to have a parent at home with Kara. Luke will be an amazing stay at home dad I'm sure!

My husband and lots of my friends were off-hours and it makes a world of difference in their happiness level. Husband doesn't have to be at work until 10am, which means his drive is around 20 minutes. If he worked "normal" hours it would take him an hour to get there.

I wish I had words of wisdom for you, but I've got nothing. Whether you're gone from her a little each day or not, though, just keep in mind that you're the only mama she knows and loves, and no amount of time spent in the corporate world can change that.

I feel for you. I have always loved reading your thoughts on motherhood because I also obsess about being a SAHM, even though babies aren't even on the horizon for me yet.

Working off hours sounds like a great idea. Personally, I get much more work done off hours when my coworkers aren't around to distract me with office gossip/vacation photos/gripe sessions. Any less time spent in traffic is a good thing!

I know how you feel. It's kind of sad to say, but you will get used to being away. At least you will know your daughter is with someone you absolutely trust and not at a daycare with people you barely know.

When I went back to work after having my first child, she went to a home daycare three days a week and was with grandma the other two days. I felt so much more relaxed the days she was with grandma.

Then when she was 9 months old I switched jobs to cut an hour off my commute time and then when she was 15 months old I cut back to working only four days a week (and daycare only twice a week). I tried really hard to work full time, but I just couldn't do it. Plus, I wanted another baby and could not even imagine working FT with two children. One day off doesn't seem like much, but for me it makes all the difference in the world. I am definitely not cut out to stay home full time.

I know cutting your hours won't work for you since you'll be the sole breadwinner for your family. But working 7am to 4pm sounds like a good idea if you can swing it. Babies usually get up early anyway and then you'll have a little time in the afternoon with her too.

Sorry for the extremely long comment, but it was a really hard time in my life and I couldn't hold back.

It's going to suck, and there's no way around it. As you know, I struggle with this almost every day. But I've been able to work "off hours" as others put it - 7 to 4:30, and it really does help some. But every day I feel guilt, I feel sadness, I feel like I'm missing everything. But I also think about how I'm being a great role model for her. So... you'll get through it. And it will be hard. But you will.

Oh, I'm so sorry. It will be very hard at first, but it *will* get easier. I cried on my way to work every day for the first two weeks, but knowing my daughter was safe and with someone I trusted really helped a lot.

I make sure to take a day off every now and then, just to spend time with the girls. I don't have many sick days or vacation days saved up, but it's worth it just to spend a day hanging out with them.

I caught your Brady Bunch reference right away, Frema. If I see the Parents blog with a swollen nose, I'll know what happened.

No advice, but I am right there with you. I just set my going-back-to-work date: April 7. Thinking about it makes me want to cry. And I understand the conflict about being happy Luke can be home and upset that it isn't you...I would feel exactly the same way.

Leaving my babies to go to work was the hardest thing I've ever done (and they were staying with my grandma!). But it gets easier and easier (especially when they are TWO, and THREE, God help mothers of toddlers), and you'll get butterflies in your stomach every time you're on your way home to see her. We'll all be thinking about you. Enjoy the rest of your time as a SAHM...she is just gorgeous.

The idea about a different starting time has much value. There would be a net savings of time in that deal. Plus, plus.

I was okay after a couple of weeks back at work, but I never wanted to be a SAHM so maybe I "got over it" quicker. Also I was leaving E with his dad for the summer...when he started daycare it was a little harder. But yes, I agree, I try to avoid being away from home in the evenings and weekends as much as possible. I can always use "working mother guilt" as an excuse. Don't apologize for that!!

first! her hair rocks. second. on the plus side you can totally blog here while your at work right?

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Reminders

  • "The Lord is my helper,
    I will not be afraid.
    What can anyone do to me?"
    - Hebrews 13:6

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