Brain Fest Friday: I would never actually say these things about Luke's mom

Here it is, folks. The BFF moment you've all been waiting for.

Time to share our greatest "your mom!" stories.

My fancy for humor of the maternal variety came about sometime in college, when my biggest problems were deciding which pair of pajama pants to wear to my 8:00 class and just how late I could stay up playing Phase 10 and still be coherent enough to make it to said class. Anyway, once my friends and I started, we couldn't stop. Not one of us could get through more than two or three sentences without somebody tacking on the now-famous "Your mom!" phrase in front of the last part of what they said, placing special emphasis on the "mom"; think loud and high-pitched--the verbal equivalent to all caps. If you've never tried it, you should. It's applicable to any conversation and fun for the whole family!

Exhibit A

Luke: God, it's hot in here. Did you turn up the heat?

Frema: Your mom turns up the heat!

(Classic mom humor often includes a critical "Bow chica bow wow" element.)

Exhibit B

Luke: What do you want for dinner? I was thinking about making chicken.

Frema: Your mom's a chicken!

(Notice what I did there? I left out the verb and actually turned Luke's mom into poultry. Genius!)

Exhibit C

Luke: I don't know what I did, but my face hurts.

Frema: Yeah? Well, it's killing me!

(OK, so that last one wasn't about "your mom" at all, but really, who could resist that?)

You get the idea.

Anyway, one of my new favorite mom moments took place when I was almost nine months pregnant, when Luke and I were on a fantastic dining-out streak because I just knew my water would break while Luke was cooking stir fry and we'd have to rush to the hospital that very minute and no way was I bringing my baby home to a messy kitchen. Anyway, we were pulling into the Champps parking lot and Luke was trying to let me off at the front entrance, only I kept going on and on about how happy I was to be there and how I couldn't wait to order me some baby-back ribs, and he said something like, "Wow, you're sure excited about eating out today," and I started to reply, "Your mom likes to...." Only I realized I couldn't finish my sentence, because, well, you know. Dirrty.

We had a good laugh and never spoke of it again.

So, have at it, people! For those of you who don't have a shining "mom" moment? Tell me your favorite mom joke. Or skip these shenanigans altogether and give me your best piece of parenting advice over at Parents. Or get the scoop on my first day back at work and the pretty flowers I received from my thoughtful husband. Or do all of the above and earn a pretty gold star.

I suppose you could also sit back and do nothing, but at least it won't be for lack of options.

Your mom's a lack of options!

(See? So easy!)

Comments

[The Bug]

Your mom's easy!

[Jessi]

A friend and I went to a restaurant a while ago, and were told there was a long wait...and, you guessed it, my reply (of course, to my friend, not to the hostess, I'm not that ballsy)

"Your mom has a long wait." :)

[Molly]

We picked the your mom jokes up a couple of years ago, after Napoleon Dynamite's "Your mom goes to college." Kevin drove me crazy with it at first, but once I picked it up, I made it my mission to drive the rest of the free world crazy with it.

I was always a personal fan of the Yo Momma jokes...

Yo momma so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone.

Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.

Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo momma's glasses are so thick she looks at a map and sees people waving.

(What a great way to start the day!)

[Audrey]

I'll try to come back later with my own "your mom" moments, but for now I can't stop laughing at the bug's comment. It's so perfect!

[Hilary]

Yeah, "The Bug" hit that one right on the head.

Your mom hits it.

I did it!

Right now I'm currently obsessed with finding opportunities to say "That's what she said." It's more fun than I ever thought it would be. (That's what she said.)

Also, the "You mom" thing? Liz and I get the biggest kick out of saying it just like you and Molly. So, it's more like "Yer MAM". And then we both burst into laughter.

[Marilyn]

Heh. It all reminds me of "Napoleon Dynamite", when that girl came to the door selling bracelets to earn money for college and his dorky brother said from inside, "Your mom goes to college." Makes Kile and I dissolve into hysterical laughter EVERY TIME. Because it's just so GOOFY. :) You gotta love "your mom" jokes.

[Audrey]

My friends I do the same thing as Hilary -- work "that's what she said" and the occasional "that's what he said" into pretty much every conversation. It cracks us up every time.

And, in an example of the best of both worlds, here's an email conversation Lindsey and I had recently (oh, yes, I absolutely did go into my gmail and search for "that's what she said"):
Me: Go get yourself some cough drops and start sucking them down. They really helped me out. And so did your mom.
Lindsey: Start sucking them down? That's what she said.

[Kerry]

One of my friends in high school, when seeing a funny-looking or funny-dressed person, would say "there's your mom" or "what's your dad doing here?" The first few times she said it, I thought she really saw my mom or dad and would say "where!?"

[David McNelis]

So awesome. Its a shame I can't remember some of the your mom stuff I had in away messages...they were kind of a fad for me for a while. We were on a Your mom streak last night for a while though.

Something along the lines of:
Chris: What are we doing this weekend?
Me: Your mom.

I think Chris might have countered with "Thats what she said."

Hilarity ensues.

[Audrey]

David -- I remember your "your mom" away messages! They totally cracked me up. One of my favorites was something like "your mom throws caution to the wind."

[Erika]

OMG. I've never been a big "your mom" person, I guess I didn't really get it. But late last year during a girls weekend with some of my sorority sisters, we were all going to ride with one girl. Someone asked, "What kind of car do you have?" as we were walking out, and she said "A Buick" and my friend Dr. P, who is the sweetest, most proper person you'll ever meet, busted out with "YOUR MOM DRIVES A BUICK" and, like, clapped her hand over her mouth. She totally didn't mean it in a "a buick is an old-lady car" way, it was just that one of her grad school classmates is always doing the "your mom" jokes and it had become habit. OMG, it was so funny. Just because of the person who said it. I'm not sure if it meets your criteria. My husband says "your mom" to his brother all the time, and his brother gets all righteous about it since they have the SAME MOTHER so my husband just does it more to get him more riled up.

[Isabel]

I am not clever enough to come up with my own "your mom" jokes. Plus, nothing beats the first one from The Bug. Classic.

Welcome back to work Frema. It gets easier. I promise! :-)

[Dawn]

My personal favorite, which I do on a pretty regular basis:

"What's up?"
"Your mom!"

Also, I'm so glad I'm not the only person who hasn't yet gotten over Mom jokes. Gotta love a good Mom joke.

[Luke]

Your mom is so fat, when she puts on a red dress all the kids in the neighborhood chase her yelling "Kool-Aid! Kool-Aid!"

[Lindsey]

LMAO This evening I was about to say some insulting "your mom" sentence in response to something Edgar said, but then I remembered we were actually in his mom's house and his mom was standing right there. DAMN IT!

[Amy]

No one around me appreciates Your Mom jokes!

I did yell it out at work once and after a brief pause, several people started laughing really hard. You just can't say it more than once a year in a trailer full of cubicles at a big company!

[TasterSpoon]

After our final performance of our annual cabaret show in law school (called the "Law Revue"), we were assembling to figure out to which bar we'd all head.

Finally a consensus was reached and one guy made for the door, shouting, "The Law Revue rides!"

To which I said, "The Law Revue rides your mom."

[daddy d]

The mom thing is different than I remember it. When it was said "your mother" ... those were fighting words.

[Kerri Anne]

That's what she said.

(Exhibit: how ALL of our conversations go, always.)