Luke and I are experiencing a series of busy weekends; two weeks ago it was visiting friends in Kentucky; tomorrow we will leave for a four-day stint up north to hang out with family and specifically to see my brother-in-law, Jason, my sister Ryan's husband, who's home from Iraq until the beginning of August. And this past Sunday, we took Kara on her first big trip downtown. It involved a company-sponsored picnic at a minor league baseball game, walk down the canal, and parking at a nearby museum because it was too damn hot to let the car seat bake in the sun.
Things are OK here. After a month-long hiatus, Luke and I began house hunting again; we viewed a couple of properties on the south side of Indy boasting more homes in our price range and a respectable commute to my work. The first house was adorable but the living room was too small, and the second? Well, all I can say is sellers, STAGE YOUR HOMES. Don't leave bags of unopened Cheetos on the kitchen counter. Don't leave a collection of your husband's boxers on the master bed for all to see. Get rid of the '70s paint on the walls, and patch up the cracks. You can even get crazy and vaccuum your cat hair! Our realtor saw potential, but all we saw was BLECH. Also, filth. Also also, a crappy back yard, but the BLECH and filth weren't helping matters any.
Speaking of the home-buying process, somebody recently e-mailed me to request more information about our experience grabbing a piece of the American Dream. (Hi, Ingrid!) Seeing as we don't have a house yet, I don't know how helpful I can be, but I'm happy to share the steps we've taken thus far.
For years, various loved ones have tried to convince Luke and me to buy a house, but we had valid reasons for taking our time--the biggest one being our uncertainty regarding how long we would stay in Indianapolis. I accepted my current job in the spring of 2005, and by the time Luke moved in that September, I decided our stay would be short term. We spent almost every weekend traveling north to visit family, we had a hard time making friends, and Luke had an even harder time finding a job. Planting roots just didn't make sense. I paid special attention to the home-buying chapter in Suze Orman's Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke but didn't plan to act on it until we moved closer to home. In fact, right before we learned I was pregnant with Kara, we had agreed to begin what we assumed would be a long and ardurous job search in the Chicagoland area because we wanted to expand our family but we didn't want to do that without having our nearest and dearest close by.
Those two pink lines put a temporary damper on moving--I wasn't keen on switching to a new insurance plan or ob/gyn practice, especially since I loved my doctors so much--so the new plan was to resume searching after I gave birth. I wasn't happy at work, anyway, and it felt like the right time for a fresh start.
But this spring, everything changed again. I returned to work and found a completely different atmosphere from the one I left, one that was better in every way possible. I adore my new supervisor as well as the financial incentives that take the form of cash bonuses every three months. And now that we are a one-income family, those incentives are more important than ever. Plus, it didn't take long to see that my earning power was much stronger here than it would be in near Chicago. There's no way we could afford our current standard of living and take on a house and still keep Luke home with our kids--something that means a lot to both of us right now. The conclusion was a no-brainer: we had to stay here.
I'm glad we've stayed in apartments for as long as we did. I'm glad we were able to get through such a tumultuous time in our lives without stressing over costly home repairs or decreased property value or whether or not we bought into a good school district. It was absolutely the right move for us, and we have no regrets.
But suddenly, the new right move meant buying a house.
Thanks to a hefty year-end bonus (how awesome is my job, I tell you? Pretty freakin' awesome), we already had enough money for a small down payment stashed in our savings account. We met with a local housing organization to see if we qualified for any special loan programs (not so much, thank you, bonuses) (I'm just kidding, bonuses, please don't leave me), and then met with a mortgage lender at our bank to talk about how much house we were willing to buy. We got the name of a realtor from one of my co-workers, interviewed her over coffee at Panera, and then we were on our way. I thought we would have something in no time and close by the end of July, just in time to wrap up our apartment lease.
Again with the not so much.
It's not that we haven't seen a ton of houses that could possibly meet our needs. Hell, we even bid on a few, but the offers never worked out, and again, I have no regrets, because looking back, we were in much too much of a hurry and made compromises we probably shouldn't have made. The first house was great, but the living room had a funky "cut-out" in the wall that I realize I hate now. The second house had a dimly lit kitchen without access to much natural light. The third met our three-bedroom requirement, but one of the kids' bedrooms would have been much smaller than the other, and while I loved the other features, I never got over that one. I think I breathed a sigh of relief when that deal fell through.
We looked some more after that, but at that point we were seeing at least three houses almost every day in an area I wasn't crazy about, and they weren't working out, either, and soon we had to admit that for now, enough was enough. Even though our interest rate was fluctuating, even though we didn't want to renew our lease, even though we just wanted to be done with this process already. We made sure Pam knew we still wanted to work with her and stayed away from all things real estate for almost a month and a half. We increased our down payment. We opened our minds to other areas, based on recommendations from friends. We signed our lease for another three months, buying us a little more time. And we agreed to trust our gut; it's OK to walk away from something simply because it doesn't feel right.
We also decided to stick with our original mortgage number, which is probably the main reason this search has taken so long.
If the only change in our finances was an increase in the rent category, it would be easy to commit to a higher monthly payment, especially when an extra twenty bucks can buy a more sophisticated home, and especially when work is going so well (I really should write an ode to quarterly bonuses). But when we consider the effect this move will have on our heating, air, and water bills, not to mention the costs associated with actually maintaining a home, it's not something we can do and still be able to sleep at night.
So, that's where we are. I think the biggest lesson we've learned is not to settle. Buying a house is a huge investment that will affect us for years to come; our world will not collapse if we have to keep resigning our lease until we find the one that's right for us.
I have also learned that as of Sunday, I'm now The Type of Person Who Owns Tacky Resident Memorabilia:
In my defense, I needed a few more shirts for this physically awkward "too big for regular clothes but too small for most maternity wear" phase. But I probably won't wear this to Friday's cut and color in Chicago.
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Over at Parents, I've been talking about family cars and soap opera names. Does life get any better than that? I think not.
Ah, the "Hoosier" pun shirts. Love them.
Buying a house scares the piddle out of me. But if we end up staying I'll be sucking any and all wisdom from you.
We went to a baseball game last night. Hard to enjoy it when your boobs are sweating into your bellybutton.
Posted by: moosh in indy. | July 29, 2008 at 11:02 PM
A house is such a huge commitment to jump into, you're smart to take your time. Unfortunately for sellers, I don't think this market is going to change too quickly. You may find better deals the longer you wait.
Kara just gets cuter and cuter!
Posted by: ann | July 30, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I am house hunting as well and there was UNDERWEAR on the floor of a place I looked at. My realtor tells me that stuff like this was very common at the top of the market a few years ago - but it shocks her beyond belief to see people not even cleaning their homes before viewings.
Posted by: Rhi | July 30, 2008 at 12:06 AM
I love how practical and rational you are in making decisions. You think things out so well! I am thankful for a level-headed husband, without whom (who? eek!) I'd jump into financial commitments way too easily.
And yay for bonuses!
Oh and our next door neighbours are selling their house and haven't even bothered to MOW THE LAWN! Or fix their death-trap rotten-wood front stairs. I hope people like you and Luke move in and take care of things!
Posted by: eva | July 30, 2008 at 01:05 AM
I am always grateful to see that other young 'uns like us have waited until they feel ready for a home purchase. I'm certainly late to the party, but we're all on a different path, right? That's what I keep telling myself.
And quadruple yay for quarterly bonuses!
Posted by: Jenn | July 30, 2008 at 08:42 AM
I so admire how smart and cautious you guys are about this whole thing, and while I too was rooting for an up-North move, I'm glad you guys have decided to live somewhere that will support your family - that's the most important. And it's a very nice city, too.
Can't wait to see you for Sunday breakfast!!
Posted by: Molly | July 30, 2008 at 09:23 AM
When we were selling our house (up in Jan, sold in April), I tried to keep it perfect. There was once or twice that the bed wasn't perfect (comforter was pulled up though), but dirty clothes on the floor? Clean clothes on the bed? I am assuming you were looking on the weekend/nights and they probably had at least a few hours warning. So, they have no excuse. Do they not understand that it is a BUYERS market?
Posted by: SSU | July 30, 2008 at 09:33 AM
GREAT post on househunting. I hope others take away the lesson of responsibility and buying LESS than you can afford. We bought WAY less house than we can afford and our lives are so much easier because we did so. I am so grateful that I married someone who was not concerned with image and living in the "right" neighborhood.
Posted by: cagey | July 30, 2008 at 09:52 AM
SSU: The sellers knew 24 hours in advance that we were coming, so unless they were on vacation, there's no excuse. And honestly, even then they could have picked up their mess before they left, knowing their house could still be shown.
Cagey: The right neighbhorhood for us means close to my work, great school system, and convenient shopping. I have preferences, of course, but they are too far out of reach right now. Maybe for our second house....
Posted by: Frema | July 30, 2008 at 10:30 AM
We managed to keep our house staged with an infant, a very sick husband, a dog, a houseguest, and two dissertations! There is no excuse for visible laundry and chips! Of course we didn't sell it until we actually moved out. You sound very sensible. With some patience you should find a great house and you will be in a situation you can be comfortable with for years to come. Good luck!
Posted by: Becca | July 30, 2008 at 12:21 PM
I think it's great that you and Luke have and easygoing attitude about finding a home. I am hoping that I can buy one in a year or two and I hope I have the same attitude and can remember to take my time.
Posted by: Rachel | July 30, 2008 at 12:59 PM
GAWD. I saw that shirt at the visitor's center and made fun of it. Do you hate me now? And we looked at some terrible houses when we were hunting too - broken glass on the floor, food left out, etc. TERRIBLE. You'd think in this market, people would be more eager to sell....
Posted by: Michelle | July 30, 2008 at 01:14 PM
House hunting. Blargh. I don't miss that phase one bit. The worst? The cat houses. I don't mind the fur, but the pee? Count me out. I once nearly walked away from looking at a house b/c I could smell the cats before stepping one foot inside. I looked, just to be nice, but I held my breath the entire time. It was a quick showing ;)
Posted by: Marriage-101 | July 30, 2008 at 02:17 PM
We did our first baseball game this weekend, too. Sometimes I am surprised at what we can do with Nate in tow, he did great!
I do hope you find the perfect home, I also commend you for knowing when to say when and take a break. Its such a big decision and not one to take lightly.
And, if only there were a bonus program for SAHP's! Outside of getting to stay home, of course! :)
Posted by: Christina | July 30, 2008 at 02:33 PM
kara is so cute. I hardly ever comment, Bree, but I read alot. I wanted to ask you (maybe I should just email you) what areas you're looking in. Reason I ask. My husband is from indy - - my inlaws still live there - they live in Carmel - dont roll your eyes - I know what people say about Carmel... but what I was going to say is that they live in a very nice older neigbhorhood that is established - nice trees, nice yards and nice houses but aren't ridiculously priced (at least from the houses I saw when we were driving thru last summer that were for sale). If you'd be interested I can give you location near where they live nad you could drive around to see. I guess worth a look - plus, great schools. In their neighborhood, there is a school down the street and a community pool. My husband and his 3 siblings all went to school there and walked every day (or rode their bikes).
Anyway, just a thought. Sorry to hog the comments :)
keri
Posted by: Keri | August 01, 2008 at 11:13 AM
That picture of you and Kara is amazingly cute. You are working the heck out of that pregnancy glow!
Posted by: Erika | August 01, 2008 at 06:13 PM
Baseball and summer time are together. Next winter they will be look back upon with joy.
Posted by: daddy d | August 01, 2008 at 06:25 PM
I think you are dealing with the house hunt the smart way. When we bought the house we are in--while it was the best of the ones we looked at--I feel like we definitely decided on an impulse. I know for the next house we decide to get into, we'll take a lot more time to think things through. I have a whole list of things the next house MUST have! For our starter home, I know I couldn't have had those things. Good luck! I can't wait to see the house you guys end up with!! So exciting!
Posted by: Lindsey | August 02, 2008 at 08:57 AM