Happy Birthday, Baby

I have no idea how to write this post.

How can I begin to describe what it means to be this baby's mother? The joy she brings me every day? How proud I am of all she's accomplished these last twelve months? I can't. There are no words.

Instead, I remember little things.

Month One

 

Kara makes her way into the world via c-section, all 11 pounds, 4 ounces, and 22 1/2 inches of her. Her father and I instantly fall in love.

After the initial afterglow, those first few weeks were just about survival. I slept when I could, ate when I could, showered when I could, and snuggled my precious new baby every chance I got--half the time in hysterics. I remember talking to my mother the night we came home from the hospital, sobbing because Luke had to get my pain meds from Walgreens and I was terrified to be alone with her. Listening to Celine Dion's Miracle CD was equally tear-inducing because hot damn, did that woman know what she was talking about, and when singing "The Pie Song" as I rocked her to sleep, sometimes I got so choked up I couldn't finish the words. I could only hum.

My biggest challenge at this point by far was nursing. Despite putting her on the breast every two to three hours that first week and then pumping religiously for the next three, I failed to get more than an ounce or two from each boob. By the end of the month, she was mostly on formula, and I was mostly at peace with my decision.

Fun fact: Kara was so big at birth that she only wore one newborn diaper, the one the nurses fastened to her right after she was delivered.

 

Month Two

 

Slowly, Luke and I were getting into the swing of things, though I was terrible about abiding by the "Sleep when the baby sleeps" rule. I was too busy trying to clean the apartment, update Kara's baby book, and find the time to shower. Afraid of letting her cry for even a second, I only washed up when she was asleep and the bassinet was placed squarely in the middle of the bathroom.

It was around this time I figured out that Kara and I could play together, so we did. I started reading books to her (Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You? was her favorite--she loved the animal sounds), showing her blocks, and being more aggressive with tummy time. We danced to Fisher-Price and Baby Einstein CDs in the living room. We also napped on the couch in the afternoons--some of the best times of my life. She would stay asleep on me for hours while I watched soaps, ignored the snow falling outside, and breathed in her new baby smell.

Fun fact: It was around week eight that Kara transitioned from the bassinet to the crib and Luke and I actively implemented a loose bedtime routine. It was also about the time we discovered Lost as a way to feel connected to the outside world.Thanks, Charlie whoops, wrong show Jack.

 

Month Three

 

I think this is when Kara was finally able to go longer than two hours during the day without a bottle, making it much easier to travel. By this time we'd been up north to visit family at least twice, taking for granted that she would fall asleep for the majority of the car ride. (Those were the days!) She's also rolled over, smiled, and made me regret I ever agreed to be a working mom. My official return date was March 5. I cried the whole weekend before and even the weekend after because I went to dinner with some local blog buddies and couldn't get over how awful it felt to be spending even MORE time away from my baby.

Fun fact: I reinstitute Weight Loss Wednesday under the guise that I'm serious about shedding the last few sixteen pounds of baby weight. Except that I can't stop eating cookies. Silly Frema.

 

Month Four

 

Turns out the whole going-back-to-work thing isn't going so well. I break down on the Internet and take a vacation from personal blogging to get my act together. Kara fills in and steals the show. She also stops sleeping, finding it more desirable to wake up two to four times every other night for the next few weeks. And that's just at night--her nap time is STILL completely unpredictable. Good times.

Fun fact: I join Weight Watchers online because I'm actually serious about shedding the last few sixteen pounds of baby weight. And I lose four of them! Too bad I'm about to get knocked up!

 

Month Five

 

Kara is sitting up with style and also sleeping through the night again (for the most part). She enjoys her first baby-sitting experiences with each set of grandparents as Luke and I celebrate our second wedding anniversary and attend my ten-year high school reunion in Chicago. We see Dan and Samantha's new house and decide to plant roots in central Indiana, going against our original plan to move closer to Chicago. We introduce Kara to rice cereal but after a week of non-cooperation decide it's not worth the hassle. We pledge to try again next month.

Fun fact: The Great Aunt Flo Watch of 2008 begins. Luke buys a pregnancy test for me at a Walgreens in Merrillville but refers to it as a birth detection kit. The clerks are understandably confused. The pastor who married us is understandably amused.

 

Month Six

 

Kara is crawling! Thus, it's not long before Luke and I are disassembling our coffee table to minimize opportunities for scary head trauma.We're also getting out of the house more to explore local surroundings--parks, the zoo, walking trails--and we have a ball. We even buy one of those cute backpack carriers because we're so sure we'll be spending the summer tromping through Indy's various greenways. Except not so much, because pregnant Frema is in the throes of the first trimester. Sorry, family.

We try cereal again, this time with success. Also bananas, which she doesn't like much at this point, but soon it'll become one of her favorite foods. Naptime is still a struggle but it's getting better, though I'm too afraid to try and put her down myself. I always make Luke do it because I'm afraid of screwing up their routine.

Fun fact: Kara continues to surpass the growth charts, hitting the scales at 21 pounds and 11 ounces and measuring 28 ¾ inches long. She barely fits in her Chicco infant seat anymore.

 

Month Seven

    

Kara wows us all with her level of concentration when it comes to "reading" her books. She loves to stand at our sliding glass door and watch people come in and out of our apartment building--even moreso their pets. We spend lots of time feeding the ducks that camp out at our retention pond because I still feel too crappy to do much else. I orchestrate my first successful nap.

Fun fact: This is the month Luke and I make our beloved "Oopsie!" video.

 

Month Eight

 

I'm starting to feel better, so Luke and I make a trip to Kentucky to visit friends. We also add a bazillion trips up north and get lazy on our drives home, attempting to feed Kara in the car to make better time. This only works a couple of times before she demands to eat her fruits and vegetables outside the confines of her car seat--for one trip, she screamed so loudly that Luke and I were forced to get off the highway and pull into an abandoned gas station (just one of three!) to finish dinner and change her diaper in the back of the Cobalt. That wasn't nerve-wracking at all!

Fun fact: Kara is more agreeable to holding her own bottle, though she picks and chooses when she wants to comply.

 

Month Nine

 

My inner circle experiences a baby boom as Samantha delivers my nephew Danny and Molly gives birth to Marin. Meanwhile, Kara is babbling, cruising along furniture, and finally settling into a regular nap schedule. She's also more apt to go to bed drowsy but awake with minimal fussing, probably thanks to Bunny, her trusty bedtime companion. Her menu includes big girl snacks like Cheerios and Gerber puffs despite STILL not having any teeth. She remains ever the trooper as Luke and I bounce from house to house to house with our real estate agent. She finally enjoys her nightly baths. She still uses a pacifier, but mostly for naptime and bed.

Fun fact: Kara finally ditches her infant seat and upgrades to a convertible. Britax in my car, Graco in Luke's (a hand-me-down from my brother- and sister-in-law, bless them, those things are EXPENSIVE). She seems a lot more comfortable in the car now, though the Britax doesn't lean back as far as the Graco, so her feet are pushed up against the back seat. No surprise, seeing as she's about 30 inches tall. Her weight is beginning to level out at close to 25 pounds.

 

Month Ten

 

Big changes here: We move into the new house, Kara's two front teeth finally make an appearance, and we deal with the blasted time change. All of these factors likely play a role in Kara's once-again inability to sleep through the night; she cries out and wakes up at least once every night just about the whole month. Where before we were able to comfort her with reassuring back pats and soft words, now we resort to rocking her back to sleep because we know she's had a lot of change to deal with and what the hell, it works. Also, my belly is so big that it's too hard for me to lean over and reach her. It usually takes a while for her to find a comfortable spot against my chest, and she's probably cursing Baby Brother for being all up in her business, but we make do.

Fun fact: Pointing! Oh, the pointing! Especially at "the baby in the mirror."

 

Month Eleven

 

Kara's officially walking in no time, thanks to all the new space we've acquired with the new house. She's doing it so well, in fact, it's hard to remember she hasn't been doing it all the time. I have to travel for work for the first time in three years, which means spending the night (actually, three nights) away from Kara for the first time since she's been born. The anticipation was worse than the actual trip, but I'll take a rough night with my baby any day over an "easy" night without her.

No longer the passive book enthusiast, Kara has decided to start bringing the books to us, which equals a lot of repetition. (But hey, who doesn't like reading about Halloween and Thanksgiving in the beginning of December?) She also falls in love with the Curious George stuffed doll I bought for Luke a few Christmases ago. All you have to do is say, "Kara, where's George?" and if she doesn't run off to get him, she at least looks around to determine his location.

Her two bottom teeth are poking through, and she's chewing on her hands like crazy. She's got little red marks all over her fingers from them being in her mouth so much.

She's more affectionate than ever, holding faces to give kisses, running into hugs, and rushing to pat my big old belly when I come home from work. I love the way she reaches out to people, even those she doesn't know that well.

Fun fact: Good Lord, does this baby like to dance. She'll bounce up and down and shake her hands around at random times, sometimes to music, sometimes not.

 

Month Twelve

 

Our girl turns one year old. We still can't believe how blessed we are to have her in our lives.

Happy birthday, sweetheart. We love you more than you will ever know.

   

Comments

[Lynne]

What a lovely post! Happy Birthday indeed, sweet Kara!

[Parker_B]

Aww, what a great post! And the photo montage is very sweet. I love reading your blog because you write so honestly about motherhood- the good and the bad. Even though I'm scared to have kids because it seems so hard, you make me understand why it's totally worth it!

Happy Birthday Kara!

[debi]

Beautiful, every bit of it. What a wonderful video. You made me cry but a happy cry. Reading you and Molly has been a life saver for me this week. Babies, however and whenever they come is always a good thing. Grandbaby # 9 is due next August.

[Christina]

Happy Birthday, Kara!
I understand exactly what you mean when you can't find the words. It's the shared head nod of all mom's isnt it? You just smile and say, I know!
Happy day to you, too Bree! This day is just as much yours as hers.

[Jenny]

Beautiful.
Absolutely beautiful! My happiest birthday wishes to Kara.
And I am so glad to know that when she got sick it was nothing too serious. Hope she is doing much better.
And I love this song from "Waitress."
Love
Jen

[Lauren]

I've been a lurker for awhile but Kara's birthday video made me cry so hard I've decided to come out! :p My baby just turned 6 months old and I can't believe how quickly it's gone by. Happy Birthday to Kara and Happy Birthday to you, you've made it a whole year as a Mommy!

[eva]

Glad I had the kleenex ready. Great video montage Luke! Congratulations to all three of you for getting through such an exciting first year!

[Jen L.]

Happy birthday, sweet Kara! And congrats, Frema and Luke on a great first year! This was a beautiful post. It's hard to believe it was a year ago I sat up clicking "refresh" over and over to see news of her birth!

[elizabeth]

Happy Birthday Kara!

What a great post, Frema!!

[La Petite Chic]

That was beautiful. A year can pass by so quickly, can't it? Happy birthday, Kara!

[daddyd]

Pictures bring back her first year. Love and joy all around.

[Molly]

I'm sorry I'm late with my comment, though we did read your entry and watch Kara's video days ago already. :o)

Happy Birthday Kara girl! What a blessing you are to your mommy and daddy and all who know you. May you have a fantastic year two (and try to stay out of the ER, also, ok?)

[Parsing Nonsense]

What a loving and sweet post! It's really neat that you remember all these little tidbits from her first year of life, I'm sure your blog will be a wonderful place for Kara to explore when she gets older.

Also, Luke's video of Kara made me cry. So sweet!

[Rhoni Renee]

Oh I loved this! She's gotten so big and even more beautiful

[Bethany]

I can't believe she is one already! Happy (belated) birthday!

[Joanne]

Happy Birthday and Happy Karaversary to you and Luke! I'm totally stealing this year in review in January is that okay? Adorable!

[Rachel]

I loved this post! I know I'm late, but Happy Birthday Kara!

[Isabel]

Oh my goodness, this post is just perfect. Thanks for sharing.

(I still can't believe you're having ANOTHER ONE!)