Baby 2.0: Week One

Hi, there! Remember me? I'm the one with the brand-new adorable baby son.

I've written several posts in my head since I came home from the hospital late Monday afternoon, but in the spirit of my New Year's resolution to get more sleep, sleep has indeed taken precedence. When Kara naps, Luke and I nap (for the most part. I'm cheating with this very draft). When Kara is down for the night, Luke and I are picking up the house, taking turns in the shower, catching up on TV, and oh, yeah, bonding with the newest addition to our family.

At this point, I'm not sure where to start, so I'll begin by saying that Nathan's first week has been nothing like my first week home with Kara. With Kara, I surprised myself with how shell-shocked I was in my role as a new mom. I was following a rigid feeding schedule, shuffling around the apartment like an eighty-year-old woman as I recovered from surgery, and operating on three to four hours of sleep because I was too afraid to close my eyes and even more afraid to put Kara down, sure that the minute I entered Dreamland, she'd wake up, and the stolen moments of rest wouldn't be worth the pain of stirring from such a short nap. Our days consisted of little else then feeding the baby, changing the baby, and trying to stay sane.

With Nathan, things are different. With Nathan, we have structure: Kara's meals, Kara's naps, and Kara's bedtime serve as daily milestones, and somehow he fits right in. With Nathan, there is no Feeding Drama; he's taken to the breast just fine, and according to our weigh-in at the pediatrician's office on Friday, he's gaining weight beautifully. However, I have no set time frame with regards to how long I will nurse, and I'm putting no pressure on myself to nurse exclusively--Nathan gets a little formula every day for no other reason then to give me a break. I'm taking it one day at a time, one feeding at a time, because that's what seems to work so far.

We're getting more sleep than we did with Kara. Nathan's pretty good about going back down after eating at night, spending a couple of hours in his bassinet with me in the living room (it's too hard for me to get in and out of bed right now, so I'm camping out on the couch) and the rest of the time perched contentedly on my chest. We usually stay that way until Luke and Kara make their way downstairs between six and six-thirty, when our day officially begins.

All of this is not to say that Nathan is a better newborn than Kara was. I hate labels like "good" and "bad" when it comes to babies, like their temperaments are precalculated. Instead, I think that the mindset of parenting a second child is better--more relaxed, more forgiving, and more inclined to follow your gut than someone else's agenda. The night before I came home, my nurse was going over standard baby care as part of hospital procedure, and when she said, "Now, the baby will sleep eighteen to twenty hours a day, so you'll have to wake him up to eat," on the outside I nodded like an obedient little patient, but on the inside I laughed manically, because unless there was a legitimate weight problem to worry about, hell no was I waking up a sleeping baby to force him to eat, no matter what any medical professional said. With Kara, I didn't give myself that kind of permission; at least, not in those first few weeks. If only you could have the second baby first.

I'm not trying to sugar coat anything for you. This week hasn't been without hard times, and there were several bouts of ugly crying (all on the second day home, damn hormones)--but overall, I've been surprised at how calm I feel and how natural it feels to be a family of four. These people are my life, and I am grateful, so grateful, for all of them.

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Jen L.]

Well, hi! I was so excited when a new post from you popped up in my Google reader! Glad to hear things are going well and especially glad you're getting some rest. Those pictures are priceless, especially Kara checking in on her baby brother. It's so sweet to see Nathan snuggled up with you! He is so precious.

[AJU5's Mom]

I am so happy to hear that Nathan is making things fairly easy on you! Hopefully he will stay a happy baby!

[Maggie]

I was so glad to see a new post. It sounds like you are doing really well! And I loved seeing those pictures!! What a precious little family!

[Groovymarlin]

Look at that precious little pea! Congratulations, he and your daughter are both adorable.

I often long to have a second child, if only to know what it's like to not be a complete nervous wreck as parent to an infant! I just know it's gotta be easier after you've done it successfully once. Unfortunately, I don't think it's in the cards for me, but I will enjoy reading about your experience (and living vicariously just a little bit).

[Bethany]

You are right- it isn't that Nathan is a "better" baby, it's that mom and dad are more confident and comfortable. I found that to be true with my second also. One of the things I realized with #2 is I can put her down when she is crying so I can go pee and it isn't the end of anyone's world. No bladder infections= happy mommy!

[Jen]

So glad to hear you're doing well and hanging in there :) One day at a time!!

[Summer]

Glad things are going well! Kara looks so big in the book picture! She looks like she could be 2 or 3! Wowza

[Katie]

Awwww..... so cute!! I especially loved the picture of Kara looking over the side of the bassinet :-)

[daddyd]

Oh, so good together: Mom and Baby, Dad and Baby, Sister and Baby, Mom and Children.It is a good life.

[Lynne]

Congratulations! I was on vacation and not expecting baby brother to arrive as early as he did (and you didn't expect it either!). He is beautiful—what a handsome boy.

Glad to hear things are going well for all members of the family, both new and old(er) !

[Mrs. Higrens]

You do sound and look much less stressed with Nathan than Kara. Both are very cute!

[Amy]

Your family is gorgeous!

Congratulations to you all and I'm so pleased everything is settling down so nicely.

Well done following your instincts.

[Erica]

Glad to see everything is going so smooth. Your family is beautiful. Enjoy!

[Fraulein N]

Yay, pictures. I'm glad you were able to relax more this time around.

[Becca]

I'm so glad to hear how smoothly it's going! The pictures were wonderful. Keep up the great work!

[r+k+mama]

Oh, Bree that second picture of him sleeping all snuggley on your chest is so beautiful. I'm so glad things are going well and you're getting some rest. I'm not a fan of the 'good' and 'bad' labels either but I will say that in my experience, there certainly can be easier and more challenging babies. We had a much harder time the second time around because NO amount of parenting experience prepared us for Keaton's decidedly more challenging temperament. It would make me feel so angry when people would say "Oh Rowan was such a good baby, I wonder what happened with HIM?" Hey, thanks a-holes, does that mean my son is bad?
Thanks for taking the time to post and share your new family of 4 with us!

[Operation Pink Herring]

Congrats to the whole Frema household, and welcome to the world, Nathan!

[Heather]

OMG So sweet!! Such Baby cuteness!! Congrats!!

[Parsing Nonsense]

What a gorgeous little one! It's so great to read your observations and experiences with having both your kids. I hope to take that wisdom and use it when my first comes along someday...

[Joanne]

I'm so happy to hear that it's going well! I too think it's easier to sleep and, well, do everything with the second one. I am hoping that it's even easier with the third! :) I hope you all continue to find rest and joy.

[Liz]

He definitely looks like you. And wouldn't it be great if you could take a pill that would magically make the hormones go away?

[Heather]

I'm so happy for all of you! It seems like you have a nice schedule going on and baby #2 fits right in! :)

Welcome to the world baby nathan!!

[Heather]

Oh! And I forgot! Kara's lil belly in that picture of you reading?? SO adorable!! What a beautiful family you have!

[H]

Thanks for the post! He's so beautiful, Frema :) Congratulations to you all!

[ann]

How adorable! Kara and Nathan look a lot alike, don't they? You look good too.

Second babies do seen a lot easier, but it's just the experienced parents that makes it seem that way.

[Debbie]

He's so freaking adorable and now I miss having a newborn again!

I had a hard time adjusting to two kids...and you're right...waking a newborn...especially when it's not your first kid...only if you're crazy!!!

Good luck...it gets a lot easier, I promise!

[Stacey]

I'm glad to hear it's going well - the second does just slip right in, doesn't it? Just wait till you have the third one ;) They practically raise themself. (KIDDING! Sort of.)

Thanks for the great pics - boy, does that bring back memories for me. Garrett and Laura weren't quite as close in age as Nathan and Kara, but close enough!

[Isabel]

You almost have me convinced that I can actually do this!

Thanks for being so honest and positive. And thanks for the adorable pictures that include both of your kids. I needed to see that.

[Christar]

Congrats! He's absolutely adorable. He and Kara look a lot alike!

[eva]

Thanks for the update! I am so glad that the breastfeeding is working out better with Baby Brother - I'm so thrilled you'll get to have a positive experience this time around. Great photos...boy does time fly eh?

[Katie]

I just popped over to look at your family's cuteness again. Nathan really is so adorable. I really do hope the nursing challenges work themselves out or that you have complete peace about any alternatives you use.

[Baby Carriers Backpacks]

ADorable and lovely family. :) THanks also for the great insights!